He is not my boyfriend, but...

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javagirl39
javagirl39 Member Posts: 67
edited June 2014 in Singles With Breast Cancer

I feel just terrible. I am single with breast cancer and feeling all alone right now. I had surgery last Tuesday -- a lumpectomy and a sentinel node biopsy. I'm feeling low because I haven't heard from a friend of mine in a while. He is just a friend, not my boyfriend, but he used to call me almost everyday to ask how I feel. Sometimes he'd call me several times in one day. I never expected him to be as supportive as he has been. I was sure he'd run for the hills when I told him that I have breast cancer, but surprisingly he didn't. Now I find myself missing him because we haven't talked in a while. I have a feeling that he met someone who he really likes and that's why he hasn't called me. I really miss talking to him. The timing of this really sucks.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2009

    Hi javagirl...Yeah, it sounds pretty sucky that you need your friend now, but he's not around. Does he know that you had surgery last week and might need him? If not, maybe you should let him know. If he knows, but is distancing himself, perhaps he's confused or disturbed over the reality of your cancer..? Could it be reminding him of a family member who had cancer or serious surgery?

    The thing is, you don't know what he's thinking or feeling, so you should reach out and let him know that you would welcome his friendship right now. Can you do that?

    ~Marin

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  • javagirl39
    javagirl39 Member Posts: 67
    edited March 2009

    Hi Marin,

    He knows that I had surgery. He has known about everything going on with me every step of the way. He is not confused over the reality of the cancer -- he has been totally wonderful about everything that I've shared with him.

    I did put two and two together after speaking with him. He is going through something right now but he hasn't provided any details. He said that I have enough of my own problems to deal with right now. I feel sad that he can't be there for me and that I can't be there for him. Having cancer sucks in so many ways already, now add to it that I'm not strong enough or well enough to help a friend.

    Thanks for your reply FitChik. I just needed someone to listen.

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