Anxiety and Depression

taraleec

I'm 39 and have a 3 year old son.  In 3/08 I had a lumpectomy; LCIS, complex sclerosing lesion(radial scar) intraductal hyperplasia & sclerosing adenosis in Lt and yes, radiation treatment.  During treatment I noticed a lump in my Rt,(around 3 o'clock) 10/08 had lumpectomy; adenosis.  I'm no longer with my son's father (I won't go too far into that), but the night before my surgery, he called just to start trouble.  Then a week later I get served with papers, that he wants custody and child support, although he hasn't paid any. I had loaned him money, he failed to pay back, so now there's a small claims issue.  Less than a month, I feel another lump at 6 o'clock, go back to surgeon, he says it's scar tissue.  1 month later a new lump away from scar site at 1 o'clock, and GYN can feel it along with other spot that feels like a seed at 10 o'clock.  My male surgeon can't feel them, won't do more surgery.  My ONC can feel them as well and the area that felt like a lump at 6 o'clock now feels rigid.  My mammo and ultras. were clear.  My MRI said "needs to be redone at 7-14 days of menstrual cycle".  I asked my ONC what if next MRI still doesn't define masses/areas?  She says more surgery - mastectomy!  I decide to go to new surgeon (female). MISTAKE I guess.  She said "why on earth would you have radiation for LCIS?"  I said there were other findings as well, and my ONC recommended it.  (Like, okay I just 'want' to have radiation OMG!)  Anyways, the surgeon checks me, and says "these lumps are nothing".  How can she say that? No tests or anything, just because mammo and ultras. were clear?  Aren't there times when these tests miss something?  She actually does a fine needle aspiration on the largest 'lump'/spot.  Came back INCONCLUSIVE.  ONC office talked to my Insurance, they deny covering another MRI.  So now I have this lump, a seed and a rigid lump and this female surgeon tells me 'fibrocystic changes'.  And I have small claims court hearing in 10 days, child custody case in 5 weeks and these LUMPS in my breast that I don't know what they are but they weren't there before November.  I feel like I can't concentrate or think straight and feel like I'm losing my mind.  HELP! 

leaf

Oh Taraleec, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this terror!

mzmiller99

Oh, my, I hope things straighten out for you!  What a lot to deal with all at once. 

 Thinking of you.

Susan

Makratz

taraleec,

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of this.  Your health issues alone are enough to drive you crazy.  Please don't do anything crazy, it won't solve a thing!  Think of your adorable little boy, perhaps that will help you stay focused?    I truly hope that your latest doc is correct, that you just have lumpy breasts!  Can they do another aspiration to see if the results come out conclusive?   Hang in there and let us know what happens. 

BFidelis

taraleec,

I am so sorry.  Sounds like you need some real assistance.  Does your treatment center/hospital offer any social services?  They might be able to provide practical help, like assisting you in finding a lawyer, maybe even reduced cost or free (pro bono).  Sometimes it's not all about money, but connections.  And social workers have connections.  It might also help to have someone like that to help you 'think through' priorities.  You might feel less tossed-around by the chaos around you.  I once heard Jim Lovell (captain of Apollo 13) speak, and he said they would decide what was the most urgent problem and then focus on nothing else until they had solved that one.  Then they'd decide what was most urgent, etc.  Failure was not an option.  Just total focus on what we need to do now.  Please hold on.  I will hold you in my heart.

Dona Nobis Pacem,

Beth