Overcoming depression

Sanael

Are there any effective methods of combating depression, beside alcohol? By the way, drinking does not help - at best it brings momentary relief.
Depression prevents concentration - so many things to do, and not a single desire to fulfill them. Or do the ways of combating this mental disease depend on reasons? But the reasons are not so easy to eliminate.
• Often people mistake depression for the state of emotional suppression, which they can overcome themselves. One can have his/her haircut changed. Well, the change should not necessarily be in the haircut. Any significant change in personal mirror image can very often help to cope with melancholy. It can be a change in hair colour, hair perm, experiments with make-up, or in general, a radical shift in style. Simply try to look upon yourself from another angle - and the ambient around you will change as well.
• Depression occurs five times less frequently among sportsmen and people who do the sports.
• As far as the studies of depression phenomenon went on, the scholars offered new ways of treatment. For instance, light therapy. This is most topical in spring: the lack of sunlight in winter badly affects human mood. It is not by chance that depression is much less frequent in southern sunny countries. Light therapy is believed to improve the condition of 2/3 of all patients.
• Beside sunlight doctors recommend to paint the wall in bright, orange and yellow colour, to think positively, learn to tell failure from catastrophe, to have a rest more often and praise oneself for achievements.
A survey, conducted recently, can change attitude towards diets. It appears that low cholesterol level often leads to depressive state and suicidal tendencies.

barbe1958

You're probably going to get a big back-lash on this post.

Cancer can't be cured by painting walls or cutting hair.

We need to go through the stages of grief for our lost health and imminent (or not) death.

Your trivial posts (is this a science experiment? - if so, NOT funny!) can be damaging to someone trying to cope with the decision of whether to continue treatment or not. They may feel they are failing if they can't "do sports", "live in a southern climate", "paint their walls yellow", afford to "experiment with make-up" or "get a new haircut".

Can you even "hear" yourself? Who are you? Do you even have cancer or a life-threatening illness? 

leaf

Listen to barbe carefully. She makes excellent points.

Perhaps you do not realize that, unless someone specifically asks for your help, most people do NOT like to be told what they need to do, even if your points were appropriate.

I think most people prefer advice from people who they think will understand emotionally, and be emotionally related to you.  I think this goes double for people who have significant emotional issues already, particularly when they have a potentially life threatening disease.

I absolutely HATE it when people tell me to think positively.  Maybe this poster should read these nice passages on this site. http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/ask_expert/2000_10/question_18.jsp

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/understand_bc/fears/ask_expert/2002_06/question_04.jsp

When someone says 'think positive' to me it seems like they are saying my neutral and negative feelings and emotions are not acceptable. Is it not normal to react with fear, sorrow, anger, etc when one gets diagnosed with a potentially life threatening illness?

GramE

I have been told and read that depression is anger turned inwards.  IF that is the case,  maybe bashing someone with a board is a good "cure"....   You do not mention if you are male or female, if you have BC...

Combating depression with alcohol... WTF... alcohol IS a depressant.   About having one's hair cut.. IF you knew anything about breast cancer treatment, you would know that some chemo treatments mean you will lose your hair, not a choice to merely have it cut or restyled.   

I will stop for now before I get out a baseball bat !!!    

sheila5859

You know when I found out in Nov. I had breast cancer I feel like I handled it real well. BUTTTT since all the bills and the cost of medicine and problems with my hand going to sleep and now the need to do carpul tunnell surgery I am not a happy person anymore . I feel angry all the time.I keep in my mind that whats next. Does everyone get this way? I'm not happy with my home life either so it has just now hit me.

priz47

Sheila,

i think when we are first diagnosed we are in survival mode. We have numerous appointments to go to and when that all slows down, it hits us. I feel angry and sad al the time now and having started seeing a therapist. My marriage is faling apart......I know what you are going through.

D

BFidelis

To sanael:

Who ARE you?  The people (mostly women) on this site neither need nor appreciate glib platitudes given the issues with which we're dealing.  And of ALL the threads for you to pick, you've posted this (and your naive "7 steps") on a thread specifically for those of us dealing with SERIOUS depression and anxiety -- not just having a down day.

If you want ANY credibility here, show yourself.  What's your dx?  Or when was your spouse or mother dx'd?  If you're another know-it-all of self-enlightenment stop wasting your time here.  If you were so frickin' smart, you'd have found a cure instead of platitudes.

You're one of those people who want to believe you can control cancer.  So you're naive AND stooooopid.  My mother had more fight, grit and positive attitude in her than ANYONE I've ever met.  I'd like to see you look me in the eye and tell me she died because she didn't do "good enough" on her positive attitude.  I'd take you down so fast that your positive attitude would hit the ground 30 seconds after your ugly ass.  (Sorry, brothers and sisters.  Forgive me.  I am not a violent person.)

I told my PCP at the onset that I don't deal well with bullcrap.  And the worst piece of bullcrap is that if you survive cancer, it is because of all the wonderful advances in medicine but if you don't it's because you didn't have enough "good attitude."

As I said, SHOW YOURSELF to be real, or get the flick out of here.  You're disturbing the peace.

DONA NOBIS PACEM!

Beth

GramE

Good for you Beth - tell it like it is.  You did it a LOT better than I did.   

otter

OMG, I was soooo glad to find this thread!  There I was, feeling bummed about my cancer diagnosis and loss of a breast (and the 15-20% possibility of a recurrence) ... and now I find out, all I need to do to bring myself out of all this gloominess is:

1. Change my haircut or have a perm.  That would be easier to accomplish if I hadn't gone completely bald on account of those pesky chemo treatments I needed last spring.

2. Experiment with make-up.   Okay, that one I've already done.  "Experiment" is about all a person can do, when suddenly confronted with a face whose eyelashes and eyebrows have gone AWOL.

3. Simply try to look upon yourself from another angle.  I've tried sideways glances and upside-down, but that just makes things worse.  I get dizzy, and my fuzzy hair sticks straight out.

4. Become a sportsman, or "do the sports."  Um, okay, ... deer season ended 3 weeks ago, but turkey season begins in less than a month.  I'll get right on that.  I'm not sure exactly what other "sports" I should undertake right now, in order to decrease my risk of depression by, what? ... 80%?  Maybe ice hocky?  That looks like a pretty good way to rid oneself of pent-up frustrations.  Would joining "Ducks Unlimited" help?

5. Move to a "southern, sunny country".  I already live in the southeastern U.S.  Maybe Nicaragua would be better?

6. Paint my living room walls bright orange.  Now, that sounds depressing in itself ...

7. Stop taking my cholesterol medication (which is reducing my risk of heart disease), because "low cholesterol level often leads to a depressive state and suicidal tendencies."   <sigh>  Seems like if it's not one thing, it's another ...

Thanks anyway.  The advice from the other women on this discussion board has been far more helpful than that list of suggestions.

otter 

swimangel72

Otter you have me FOTFLOL!!  Thanks for the chuckle - it's one of the few things that DOES help me combat my own bouts of depression.

Actually, this topic sounds like it was a "button-pusher" started by a middle-school kid - I see it all the time in the school where I work - some kids are EXPERTS at pushing my buttons then sitting back and watching me, their puppet, go through the motions for their own entertainment. I hope this person is duly entertained by our responses - but as some of the best teachers in my school advise me, "ignore, ignore, ignore!" Easier said than done - but heck, I'm enjoying the responses to this topic myself! However - my dear sisters - please don't let anyone pull your puppet strings online too much - we all have enough to deal with every day.

Love to all my sisters in battle here!

mzmiller99

YOU GO, GIRLS!!!! 

Otter, too funny!  Especially your fuzzy hair sticking out straight!

Barbe1958 - You called that one!  I can't think of a better way of uniteing us than posting some bull sh*t crap like that! 

Ok, I've gotta go and look for my "Power of Positive Thinking" book to read to my boobette, in case it's planning on any more cancer!

artsee

Thanks everybody!!!!This thread turned out to be the unexpected. Thanks for the chuckles...BOY do I feel BETTER already!

Hugs to you, Artsee

mzmiller99

Artsee - I think it's a gift to see humor in the bleakness of cancer.  If we can laugh at ourselves, our quality of life has already improved!!

PhyllisCC

Thanks Otter.... enjoyed the chuckles.  Not sure if Saneal is advertising a web site or really wants to Help????  (probably not...with 2 posts since 2/16) Either way, enjoyed the humor.  Phyllis

GramE

I am loving the comments here.   It HAS helped overcome depression already...

NancyNJ

So I'm thinking if I get my hair cut differently my boob will grow back?

GramE

Since my hair is now half an inch long, if I shave it all off I will be happier?   That is about the only "style" I can think of to make a change, unless I just shave the top  ...!!!    

I am in an apartment.  If I ask the manager to paint my walls orange, do you think they will raise the rent?   How about a carpet with hop scotch design or shuffleboard on it so I can "do sports" ?  

Mazy1959

Go BF..wooohooo

shelloz1

Due to side effects from Taxol, I can't feel my fingers and toes anymore (or when I do they are in pain). If I paint my walls orange, I'm positive that I will regain the feeling, oh, and how wonderful, then, I can start doing sports, so I will overcome my depression.  Of course, none of these feelings have anything to do with the cancer :-(

Analemma

Oh, y'all are great.  I was about to tell this person where to go, but it has been done with much more finesse than I could muster.  I wonder what s/he is selling?

barbe1958

His/her soul to the devil, no doubt. 

GramE

This person forgot that "retail therapy" is another way to beat depression - until the payments come due.  Buy a new car, new wardrobe, remodel the house, take a LONG vacation and don't worry where the money comes from.   Then declare bankruptcy and all will be happy and glorious.   

carol1949

Typically, I would offer my "words of encouragement"!!!  However, I don't think I can top any of these!!

Ladies, it's one day at a time, one jerk at a time, shop, drink if you feel so inclined, hunt til your little ole heart's content!  And... did anyone mention it has been shown in studies that Yellow is the most difficult color for the brain to process????

I say... If it feels good... do it!!!  It worked in the 60's!!!

Hugs and Prayers to all.  Thanks for the lite-heartedness!

mzmiller99

Lefty - And, after all that spending, just beg for a bail-out and all will be forgiven!!

Anonymous

Ok, I don't have THE answer, but I have an idea that may help some people. I know it helps me.

There is a book on Amazon about Depression. I have never actually purchased the book, but simply reading the reviews always puts a smile on my face and even causes me to LOL no matter how many times I've read them. It's not a permanent solution, but a momentary distraction... see what you think.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Good-bye-Depression-Constrict-Everyday/dp/0595094724/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235607768&sr=1-2

It's worth taking the time to read all 42 customer reviews.

Miss S

GramE

Miss S, I checked out a few of the reviews and had a great laugh.  It sounds too simple and cannot hurt anyone if he/she feels it is the answer.   I am going to order one or 2 copies to have on hand for my "anal retentive" friends.   

Anonymous

LOL AKA.... I'm getting a copy, too. I can always use a good laugh.

Miss S

Deirdre1

This "survey" sounds like something written in the 50s to "depressed house wives"...  Maybe make over a room!  Have dinner waiting for your husband when he gets home from a hard day at the office..  remember he has worked hard all day, don't disappoint hims by being depressed!!!  Try keeping the children quiet.  Wear your prettiest dress and buy a new purse  and shoes!  And for God sake remember where YOU KEPT THE LITTLE WHITE PILLS!!!!! (but don't take them with alcohol!) Aughhhhh!!!

barbe1958

The yellow ones are stronger Deirdre....

Deirdre1

<chuckling>.....

BFidelis

I like the blue ones.

Dona Nobis Pacem,

Beth