Please Help Me Understand...

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staying_positive_4_mum
staying_positive_4_mum Member Posts: 3
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
Mum, 43 years old mother of 5, has just been diagnosed with BC Thursday and had a masectomy with the lymphnoids removed on the Monday just 3 days later. Although I am glad they have operated straight away I am also concerned that mum and dad have not told us the full extent of her stage. 

The only thing dad has mentioned is that the Lump was quite large (around 4cm) and that the doctors were just taking precautions. But then I read about lumpectomys and now I am worried that if the BC wasn't advanced they woiuld have just done that?

I don't want to bombard my mum with heaps of questions as she is going through a really tough time, I am 21, just trying to get my head around it and don't know where to start. Please Help!!
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  • desdemona222b
    desdemona222b Member Posts: 776
    edited February 2009

    staying positive -

    I don't blame you for being worried.  Did your mother have her surgery just this past Monday?  If she did, they may not have gotten the path report yet.  They don't know the stage until that is complete, which is usually several days after surgery takes place.

    Try not to drive yourself crazy by doing a lot of research until you know the path report results - after you know that, it makes more sense to read up on it as you will know exactly what you are dealing with iso guessing.

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  • desdemona222b
    desdemona222b Member Posts: 776
    edited February 2009

    Also, did you see this guide to staging?

    http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/staging.jsp

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2009

    Positive - sometimes the decision between lumpectomy and mastectomy is as simple as how large the breast itself is. When a larger lump is found and removed, the result may be significant enough that a mastectomy is justified, and then you are a little safer in having removed a larger margin of clear area around the tumor. Hope the path comes back soon and you know more. Hugs and prayers and know that your mom is so much better off having a loving child.

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  • maryfan
    maryfan Member Posts: 16
    edited February 2009

    Your mom is lucky to have you. Treatment is so good now. Just let her know you love her and all will work out.

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  • mybeautifulsister
    mybeautifulsister Member Posts: 142
    edited February 2009

    what a wonderful daughter you are!!!!  Remember to take care of yourself as well!!!!! Your loving heart has filled mine and I will keep you and your Mum in my thoughts!!!'

    Deb

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  • staying_positive_4_mum
    staying_positive_4_mum Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2009

    Thank you for your kind comments Smile

    Mum will get the results tomorrow, this has been the hardest week ever!!! She is staying positive but is having good and bad days as to be expected. Hopefully it will be good news and mum can plan what will be next on the agenda. Is there anything that you think I could do to make this easier for my mum?

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  • Gloria1000
    Gloria1000 Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2009

    You are doing the best thing ever just by being at her side.

    All my Mom cared about was that I was THERE for her, not what I could DO for her. I remember laying in bed next to her, listening to music - fluffing her pillows when needed. Just being together made all the difference in the world.

    My heart & prayers are with you.  I hope all will be well and I'm here if you ever need to chat.

    Gloria

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