Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

carolehalston

Acquiring the trunk made you happy, Mary, and that's good!

This year we won't be going next door to our neighbors' open house. I had already said that I wouldn't go if we were invited. They are having their gathering for family only. The patriarch of the family, Bruce, died during the summer so this will be the family's first Christmas without him.

This will be the second Christmas without my mother and the first time there won't be a family meal and some exchange of presents. I have not bought any presents but will make some holiday donations to charities.

At first dh couldn't think of a Christmas gift for himself but yesterday he told me he had come up with some things for his workshop! He loves ordering things and we get deliveries most weeks. Yesterday we got a delivery with two jars of pickles. He wasn't able to find his spicy bread and butter pickles at local supermarkets so he ordered them from Amazon!

Happy Christmas Eve to everyone.

Beaverntx

Carole, if his spicy bread and butter pickles are the Vlasic zesty b&b pickles you might check Walmart. My regular grocery used to have them, then told me they were no longer being made. I find them regularly at Walmart. The zesty bread and butter pickles are a favorite in this house.

Cold here this morning, feels like 32 with the wind. Dogs did not want to linger outside after their morning "exercise" and neither did I!

Plan to bake some cookies today for DH. He says he never met a cookie he didn't like so these will be his Christmas treat.

Stay well and may your days be blessed.

IllinoisLady

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the
past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish
that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path
may lead to peace. -Agnes M. Pharo

IllinoisLady

Karen, I am so sorry to hear about your friend Chrissy. I really do understand. I didn't want to feel as though I might cause sorrow for anyone at this time so I was withholding some news I thought I'd share a bit later. Reading your post Karen, I realized that no matter what time of yr. we may lose very loved people from our life. Sadly on the 19th. my son lost his battle with bone cancer. We all thought he had much more time. He died peacefully in his sleep and I am so grateful for that. Underneath many rough edges he had a beautiful soul.

MC, I am glad you found that trunk and bought it. I think we should from time to time gift ourselves. I bet with your care it will turn into a beautiful piece to have in your life.

I have struggled many yrs. with the gift giving dilemma's. I think this yr. with they way things have gone I would like to think ( though I don't mean to imply anything negative to those who know what to get for their loved ones ) that we might look a bit more about how "old" Christmas's were and while there were gifts even then -- I think often they were more 'practical'. I guess I think a bit of candy, maybe some fruit, and the smell of good cooking emanating from the kitchen is a lot to enjoy all by itself.

I went out ( way more people in the store than I suspected ) yesterday and got a roast, fresh potatoes, carrots, and green veggies to make for tomorrow. Dh and I for many yrs. have looked on all the days we have been allowed to have as a holiday day-- so while we enjoy the some of the sights and sounds of Xmas, we are not heavily into all that goes along.

I am doing okay by the way and once again Karen, I am so sorry. I think I may know who you are speaking about although not sure. Did she start a thread sometime back? Anyway I wish her family and all her friends peace.

MCBaker

So sorry for the losses of both of you, and others who have not mentioned them. It has been a rough year for everybody.

I know what both of my gifts are, and they are generally the same thing. I am sensitive to many scents, so I try to keep my apartment odor-free, except the occasional perfume of dog. They decided that I am so good at denial, that I need to have something to scent the air so if I get COVID, I will have a day or so to do something about it.

I justified the purchase as being intended as a wedding present for whichever of my 30-somethings marries first. They are both in relationships.

karen1956

Illionoislady -my deepest condolences on the loss of your son. I hope your good memories bring you comfort. Chrissy started two threads. Chrissy started the one below in 2011

For Older People with Sense -

as well as Chrissy's adventures about her travels through the US several years ago. I'll try to find the link about her travels and post here (will edit this post.

This is the link for Chrissy's travel thread: Breast Cancer Topic: The 'Journey' has begun!!!! aka Chrissyb's USA Adventure!!!

Wren44

Illinoislady, I'm sorry to hear the news of your son. It sounds like his death was very peaceful, which is how everyone wants it to be. May his memory be a blessing.

Karen 1956, I've followed Crissy since I first found BCO. I'm sorry to hear of her passing, but I checked and she had 17 years after her stage IV diagnosis. She was amazing and always in good spirits. Her journey thread shows her enthusiasm.

MC, We have a trunk like that but not in such good shape. It was DH's great grandmother's. We stored our love letters in it. Of course the kids found them and read them. We wrote every day, so there were quite a few.

karen1956

Wren - if you go back and look at her info page - she was diagnosed in 2003 (she had great difficulty with chemo) and with mets in 2009 so 11 years is still a long time with mets. She was doing well till about a year ago.

MC, I have an old trunk that belonged to my late grandfather. It's in my office with, I forget what is stored in it, I think BC books and there are books stacked on top.

MCBaker

The one on the right my mother bought when I was born. She painted it pink. I had quite a struggle with getting the pink off of it.

The one on the left is the new one.

IllinoisLady

Day of Hope
Edgar Guest

Christmas is the one day of the year that carries real hope and promise for all humankind. It carries the torch of brotherhood. It is the one day in the year when most of us grow big of heart and broad of mind. It is the single day when most of us are as kind and as thoughtful of others as we know how to be; when most of us are as gracious and generous as we would like always to be; when the joy of home is more important than the profits of the office; when peoples of all races speak cheerfully to each other when they meet; when high and low wish each other well; and the one day when even enemies forgive and forget.

petite1

Merry Christmas to those that celebrate. It is cold this morning, 34 was the low. It has been a pleasant week. I think I mentioned a surprise visit from our niece and my brother and his wife came by yesterday. It had been such a long time. We sat outside and social distance on both visits. We had a wonderful time.

IllinoisLady, I am sorry to hear about your son.

Karen, I am sorry to hear about your friend. What a journey.

Carole, 2nd year without my mother, too.

MC, Love the trunk I have one I picked up at an auction many years ago. I think my thesis is in it. I haven't looked in it for decades. Great find!

IllinoisLady

Wishing all a wonderful Christmas and of course, a great New Yr. as well. Knowing we will start afresh on Jan 20th. just fills m with hope for the our next yrs. to be far brighter than they have been.

Cold here this morning. My car thermometer said 11 degrees. Brrrrr !! There were ( dry ) sm. snowflakes coming but quite dry so very small -- really the size of sm. sleet. You could see some white on the roof, but it was quite thin. It has remained cold, but the sun has been out so the lt. snow went elsewhere and the sun has gathered up most of the lt. layer.

My chuck roast is on the stove cooking. It is making the house smell wonderful. Despite ambivalent feelings I am enjoying the day. Just loving having a little time off. I did go feed the cats of the lady in town. The lady out at the farm had family coming so she told me not to come as they would take care of the feeding chores today. She gave me a rather handsome tip anyway which I so appreciate. So, I'm enjoying this rare time off quite a bit. I think maybe later we might get out a movie or two to watch. We have several on our movie shelf we have never watched.

Hope you all have a truly wonderful day. Hoping next yr. we can all have a more traditional holiday.

IllinoisLady

Day of Hope
Edgar Guest

Christmas is the one day of the year that carries real hope and promise for all humankind. It carries the torch of brotherhood. It is the one day in the year when most of us grow big of heart and broad of mind. It is the single day when most of us are as kind and as thoughtful of others as we know how to be; when most of us are as gracious and generous as we would like always to be; when the joy of home is more important than the profits of the office; when peoples of all races speak cheerfully to each other when they meet; when high and low wish each other well; and the one day when even enemies forgive and forget.

CindyNY

IllinoisLady - my heart goes out to you on the loss of your son. When my half brother passed away, my dad commented he buried a part of his heart that day. Condolences.

Losses of family and friends during this time feels even harder. Sympathies to all.

MCBaker - that is a handsome trunk!

My Zicam must have worked, I'm much improved. It was 57 here in upstate NY, while friends in our FL development are frozen with it being 52! We know they've pulled out the jeans, sweatshirts, and surely one neighbor is in a Parka. We took advantage of our weather to pick up branches and more pine cones from the back yard. The 25" of snow is gone, like a bad memory. Our road below our home is flooded. There is a creek behind & below a neighbor across the streets side yard. It's full, looks like a lake that has over flowed and filled the street.

We opened a few gifts, hanging out just enjoying the day when it occurred to me that I'm cooking dinner! I had get up off my butt to get a turkey breast in the oven. Still a peaceful day, music playing lightly in the background, until football at 4:30.

Sandy - you had a decent view of the alignment. We had clouds, and saw nothing.

Those celebrating today, Merry Christmas!

Betrayal

IllinoisLady: My sincerest condolences on the loss of your son.

Reader425

Illinois lady my deepest sympathy to you. I've been told losing a child is a loss like no other.

A quiet day here. Snow flurries, a few phone calls and a delicious dinner made mostly by the honey- baked ham store. I did make an apple pie and mashed turnips, a family favorite of DH.

Neither DH or i were energetic today so outside of dinner prep. We binge-watched "The Crown " on Netflix.

Taco1946

Illinois Lady - here's hoping you have many wonderful memories of Time with your son that will give you con=mfort and strength during these hard daysl

ChiSandy

Jackie, so sorry about the loss of your son. May his memory be for a blessing. In my faith tradition, we believe that to die peacefully in one's sleep is proof that they were a righteous person. I didn't know Chrissy--her threads predated my "joining the sorority." But my condolences to her family and all of those here who followed her threads.

Lovely trunk, Mary!

Spent last night & tonight between bites of dinner Zooming with the kids down at the ranch in TX and talking with our best man back in Queens (he still has only a landline--no cell or other mobile device, no computer other than his official IRS-issued laptop & VPN hotspot). We're all marking time till Bob gets his second shot and we get our first.

keywestfan

Jackie, Wish so it were different for all of us who have lost children. That it was peaceful is a blessing.

Am disturbed by vaccine cutting in line. Have very good friends- he is a retired Derm but still has connections to a Chicago hospital. Was able Wednesday to get his 55 year old daughter and his son in law and 49 year old daughter in law vaccinated- none with any preexisting conditions.His wife does have a pre-existing kidney problem and she too got the vaccine.I can certainly understand that he wants them to be safe, but I think it is unethical. Obviously he is not the only one who was able to do this. Was told there was a line of people in their 40’s and 50’s who were not hospital workers but were related. Did voice my understanding and reservations, but need to LIG- let it go

IllinoisLady

Patient people enjoy the pleasure of saying to whoever is feeling anxious about delays--restaurant servers, clerks waiting on the telephone to get your credit card verified, dry cleaners who were sure your sweater would be ready--"It's okay. These things happen." Patience, in a rushed world, is a shared relief. Witnesses to patient transactions, as well as participants, all get to calm down.

Sylvia Boorstein

IllinoisLady

Thank you to all who have mentioned my son. I will miss Jeff so much. I have felt such gratitude that he passed in his sleep and will no longer have to endure the constant pain. I am fortunate that his sister ( 2 yrs. younger ) will continue to bring joy to my heart even when I am sad.

I too hate that people are getting the vaccine out of order. I think a number of Congress people did as well -- a fair number of enablers. That is quite sad. I hope that all of can remain vigilant while we wait our turn. I do sort of understand since fear is a powerful motivator that some may jump ahead, but hate that people who should be among the first, are having to go without or wait. Perhaps the number of people reluctant to have ANY vaccine at all has also influenced those who are jumping the line and think they are not causing the right group of people to miss out. It still isn't right or fair. Hope the coming yr. will help all get some order and stability back in life as we hopefully start righting the wrongs that have taken place for a long time now.

The sun is out ( though still fairly chilly this a.m. ) but will warm to the 40's today. I'm looking forward to that. Yesterday stayed cold all day -- so this first day after Christmas is going to be great. My feral cats hopefully will be able to eat in the sunshine.

carolehalston

I have no knowledge of people stepping ahead of the line to get the vaccine but it isn't surprising. But still disappointing that those in charge allow it.

Christmas Day was pleasant but I missed sharing a big meal with family and watching the children open presents. DH had just lit the grill last night in preparation for grilling our ribeye for dinner when he learned that there would be a Zoom meeting with his family. It was rather awkward with silences. By the time it was over, we decided it was too late to have dinner. So we will cook the ribeye tonight.

I got out my crochet needles and yarn yesterday and made some dish cloths. I also got out a jigsaw puzzle and will lay out the pieces on the coffee table, probably today. I used to buy puzzles and had a tall stack of the boxes in a closet. Now I'm down to this one and three more. Once I put them together, I separate all the pieces, tape up the box and give the puzzle away.

DH woke up with vertigo this morning. I'm having to wait on him a bit.

Happy Saturday to all.

petite1

Hi, ladies. I hope you are having a pleasant Saturday. It was 27 down here in Florida this morning. It has warmed to 45. I did see one neighbor walking, but I haven't attempted my daily walk. I thought I was freezing when I walked yesterday. Cindy, I have the parka on in the house. LOL

Wren44

Our GS who's in the Army and had Covid called to wish us Merry Christmas and to ask us to let him know when we've had the vaccine so he can see us.

We talked to almost everyone in the family and had a stuffed turkey roll (fake turkey) for dinner. We're not completely vegetarian but have a lot of vegetarian meals.

Taco1946

Holding you close, Jackie. We never expect to bury our children but sadly it's not a small club. Our son died at 16. Gets easier but little things will play havoc with your emotions. Give yourself the space to grind. I know it's harder the year with no funeral or other burial traditions.

Nice Christmas Day with our bubble buddies. My ankle is still stollen and Ken's back is very bad so we were very grateful not to be hosting the dinner. Debbie sends us a miniature pine tree from Maine. We don't exchange gifts ourselves, just buy for the foster girls.

2021 is coming!!

IllinoisLady

When we're helping other people, we're nourishing our soul. Depression or unhappiness means we've got the wrong goal. We have forgotten that peace of mind is our only goal. By concentrating on helping another person, we renew contact with our soul and with God. We can feel peaceful again. . . . Peace of mind has nothing to do with the external world; it has only to do with our connection with God. Love really is the answer. We're here only to teach love. When we're doing that, our souls are singing and dancing. When we remind ourselves that we are spiritual beings, that life and love are the flame eternal, that's when our soul is nourished.

Gerald Jampolsky

IllinoisLady

Sun is out today although clouds come by now and then to hide it for a bit. It will get up to nearly or just above 50. That is nice, but it does seem that we have odd inconcsistentcies as seems to have happened for the last few yrs. I'm knocking on wood. A few friends say we are in for a brutal winter this yr. but while it is not always very good, so far the winters have been far from brutal. A few yrs. past we could count on about a months or so of snow -- through the winter overall and about a month where it was really cold. Now it seems to veer around and you are not for sure when it will come up. I just find temps. of 50 right after Christmas sort of odd.

Not doing much today I don't think. Some catch up things -- a couple of bills that just arrived. Sort of the usual. I hope you all have a good day and hopefully sun to warm you.

Betrayal

We have sun and clear skies but it will only warm to 36 degrees. Only small patches of snow left after the heavy rains we had. Deer just raided bird feeder after DH filled it so the birds are coming up short. Will try to get him to do a second fill for them. Bad storm predicted for next weekend so will enjoy what we get for the next few days.

I am making lasagnas for DD and DS's families and dinner today. Will make extras for freezer. Today will be like an assembly line for lasagnas. That's all I plan on doing after all the sewing I did yesterday. I was hemming drapes and sheer cafe curtains that were too long, DS's crotch split snow pants and DD's dog's neck scarf repairs. Also installed curtain rod in master bathroom for the new valance I bought. Happily, drapes no longer puddle on floor, which when you have cats mean a trap for their hair or them attempting to lie on them. LOL

Hope everyone had a nice Christmas and this weekend is peaceful.

Wren44

Betrayal, I'm glad someone else doesn't think drapes puddling on the floor is a good idea. That's a lot of sewing. I've only been ambitious enough to make lasagna once or twice. It's a lot of work.

CindyNY

It's a sunny 36 here, dusting of snow on Christmas night lingers. I've stripped the bed, every Sunday, but today I'm doing all the blankets too.

We just had a text, a good friend of my partner lost his brother to covid. He is a Dr in NYC, a pathologist working on tumors. So sad, he lost his mom his year too.

We've decided to stay in NY thru March. Partner will be 65 on 3/1 and should qualify for the vaccine. I've offered my FL home to a friend and her husband who are not afraid of catching covid down there. Choices choices choices, we are staying put.