Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

ChiSandy

Carole, so sorry for the loss of your SIL--may her memory be for a blessing. Too bad you can't drive to the funeral. Here in IL, funerals are being limited to only 10 attendees, preferably at a graveside service.

The rain let up; it's foggy, so I lit the grill to finish the steak I'm sous vide-ing. Hope I can do that before the storms roll in.

keywestfan

Sandy, had that very same meal at Next of Kin a few months ago. But the best cauliflower steak ever was at Joe's Crab House with very thin strips of apple marinated with fennel and cilantro on top.Hoped to go to Joe's for my birthday which once again is on the second night of Passover, but think both family occasions will not take place- birthday celebration will be later. Last year, on March 23 was my first lumpectomy, re-excision for wider margins was day after birthday. Glad it was last year and not this, given what it would be like to be in hospital, even as an outpatient now. We can, thankfully, still walk outside, but can go nowhere else, not even to doctors' appointments without prior approval. There is a roof garden, as well as very large outdoor gardens, but best not to be near other residents. Apartment visits(some residents want to play bridge and canasta) are forbidden. My BS'PA, Jada, cancelled my next Monday appointment- offered me phone consult, but I think the value in going is the physical exam since I don't have any symptoms I could tell her about. Rescheduled for June 1. So I feel relieved, won't be anxious on Monday, but am anxious, sort of, that I don't have the appointment on Monday.

Wren44

It seems like the majority of funerals are being postponed. I think the immediate family does something, but any celebration of life with other people is being put off till late summer or fall.

karen1956

MC - yup - change is the name of the game!

Big snow storm in Denver today - wet heavy cement snow - not sure of the total, but it took me 3 sessions of shoveling as the snow is so wet and heavy - I had to shovel by 3". The last shovel was around 5 or so, and not that much more snow just a layer. Sure hope the snow is done. By Monday it is supposed to be in the 50s or 60s

Everyone stay healthy!

ChiSandy

Up most of last night with this @#$% unilateral pulsatile tinnitus. I don't know why they call it "tinnitus" because it's not at all like the usual ringing or hissing (which I've had all my life). So many people (including my ENT's nurse until I set her straight) think it's just another form of tinnitus and suggest doing stuff like playing music or white noise. The only similarity between the two is that they're both generated internally.

But pulsatile tinnitus is usually unilateral (one-sided), positional (intensifies when lying down or bending over), comes on late at night just before bedtime, and is rhythmic--in perfect sync with one's heartbeat--hence "pulsatile." It sounds like "whomp, whomp, whomp" mixed with "crunch, crunch, crunch," like an army marching on crusty snow or jabbing a shovel repeatedly into a pile of gravel. It can accompany Menière's Syndrome--except I hear just fine, and am neither dizzy nor nauseated (so that rules out Menière's. Of course, to get a complaining patient off their backs (so they can concentrate on things they can actually fix without further investigation), ENTs often call it a "diagnosis of elimination" and give out an insanely restrictive diet sheet (no sugar, salt, caffeine, alcohol, any "brown drinks"). Actually, ENTs do that whenever they come across a problem they can't explain.

Everything I've read says it's more likely a vascular (AVM) or neurological (tumor) problem--and my requests to see a vascular or neuro specialist for an MRI have fallen on (you should excuse the expression) deaf ears. Primary said to start with an ENT--so when I contacted one, she insisted I see an audiologist first to rule out earwax, ear infection, etc. Of course, that wasn't the problem, so I had to make an ENT appt.--first one I could get was 2/26...which turned out to be the day of a funeral I had to attend down in South Bend. Earliest resched. date was today--but on Tues. the office called to postpone to 4/30, and then Wed. they called again to postpone it to 6/22 (calling it a "followup," even though the doc wasn't listed yet in my "care team" on my patient portal because I had yet to see her). I emphasized what I was suffering was not regular "tinnitus," and asked if it could be caused by something dangerous--that could give me a stroke or kill me. "Maybe," she said after an awkward pause. But in these times, they generally won't waste resources treating anything that isn't COVID-related.

I am going to throw one Hail Mary pass and ask my audiologist (who IS listed in my care team) if there are any apps & Bluetooth devices that could fit into my ear like an earplug and dial up the hissing to mask "the army in my head." Regular earplugs make it worse. At this point, the only thing that works is CBD+Xanax+CBN--and the latter is no longer being sold at the dispensary. And even then it might not knock me out.

ChiSandy

Here's what I'm talking about:

Pulsatile tinnitus is DIFFERENT and can be deadly

carolehalston

Sandy, the tinnitus sounds awful.

My SIL's funeral will be in IL. She lived in Decatur where my BIL was a gastroenterologist. Having him as the caregiver was a blessing since he was able to navigate the medical world much better than the typical dh. He plans a celebration of life memorial at some future time. He is going to be lost without her.

I find it really offensive that people who are "somebody" are able to be tested for the corona virus on request. The Saints coach, Sean Payton, is one such person. He tested positive after attending a horse race in another state where, presumably, there was a crowd assembled. He isn't hospitalized so I gather that his illness isn't severe. I saw an interview with him on local tv.

Dh has gone shopping to Sam's Club and Winn Dixie, a local supermarket, with a list. I plan to start mulching the flower beds this morning.

Wren44

Sandy, Very interesting. Sometimes I can hear the blood if my ear is blocked by the pillow. Fortunately, changing position does away with mine. Love the ENT diet for unexplained conditions!

Wren44

My hair has suddenly become much grayer to the absolute glee of both my kids. DH is prematurely gray and both kids got that gene. DD says my hair is about as gray as hers was at 25. She's trying to let hers go gray, but it's a long process. I'm sure it will be lovely once she's there.

IllinoisLady

In examining our own lives, we might be able to spot the heavy weight of yesterday's deeds that we persist in carrying around with us. We might be carrying bitterness and resentment because we may have felt betrayed by a friend. We might be carrying anger and a feeling of injustice because we lost out on something we really wanted while someone else got it. We might be carrying hurt feelings because someone we liked criticized us. But continuing to carry harsh and negative feelings from the past can be like picking up a pebble in your shoe while you are out walking. You can stop and remove the pebble, or you can continue to walk and let the pebble irritate your foot and cause pain. The choice is yours. You can release your anger and hurt feelings, just as you can remove the pebble from your shoe. -John Marks Templeton

IllinoisLady

Late today too. Wow !! Not sure what I'm doing different, but hope I can get with it. I like to have this done in the morning. I did go early today so my lady friend ( home from the nursing home ) could have a bath. She had home health aides for a couple of weeks, but is without now. The person who normally sees after her is male so I told her I'd come over while she does a bath twice a week.

TV man is coming later on to see why we have lock-ups and loss of parts of words from time to time. Off and on ( after about a yr. ) we have noticed things. We needed service then and while I didn't completely blame him, the guy who was under the house saw a couple of snakes and shot out of there like coming out of a cannon. His solution was to put wires outside -- along the house. I'm thinking something ( it could be a tiny pin prick I think ) has happened to that line -- though our interruptions in service don't seem necessarily tied to the weather conditions. Had one guy out and he couldn't find anything in testing so he said just keep a log -- and call back. So, this is the second time and second guy. I hope they will DO something this time. We had very little issue ( have had Charter for ten yrs. now ) at first and service calls were few and far between despite the fact we are bundled -- with phone, Internet and T.V. For what we pay we don't want to hear -- you people are at the end of the line -- and your point is??? My point is so what -- if this causes us to have poorer service why are we paying what everyone else does. I guess I'm odd because I don't see what being at the end of the line ( not sure that is factually true ) means unless you don't know what is wrong.

Sandy, the ear problem does sound awful to have to experience. I think I have done what Wren has a couple of times -- heard sounds in cadence with heart-beat that I can easily change by change of position. Wren, lets hope that is all it ever takes. I hope you are able to get that properly addressed.. Sure sounds like something to dread for sure.

No real sun today, but no rain. I think we may be okay for a day or two, but we are definitely going to be saturated for awhile.

CindyNY

Good night/morning ladies! Here in SWFL we just closed the Fort Myers beach last night (Thursday) and there are others still open. Boggles the mind. But I believe it was a $ over caring about health.

Many of our Canadian neighbors have already left to go home. "Season" is ending early. Our friend & handyman extraordinaire, and full time resident, believes within 2 weeks our development will be deserted.

Our original plan was to head back to NY in early May. Depending on COVID-19 it may be later. It's a catch 22. If we race home now, we're really stuck inside. At least down here I can bike ride daily and get outside. Also, I wouldn't want to stop for overnights, I'd drink Red Bull and/or hit a truck stop for No Doze and drive 24 hours to get home. And, as of now, NY has way more cases than Florida.

ChiSandy- I'm hoping one of your Drs can get you the testing you want to get to the bottom of it.

Carole- On the loss of SIL, so hard being far away. Someone mentioned limited people being able to attend, and that's what's happening in NY too. Our next door neighbor here is from Decatur; long haul.

Everyone stay healthy & safe.

petite1

Carole, I am sorry for your loss. Some funeral homes are "streaming" services.

carolehalston

Looks gloomy outside this morning. We had some light showers during the night. Today is my Walk in the Neighborhood day. To spare my feet, I'm taking a long walk every other day. I need to start doing my own Silver Sneakers routines. If it stays overcast, I may get more mulching flowerbeds done today.

I feel sorry for my dh that we cannot get together with his family to share grief and good memories of Bonnie. Her daughter has a huge job dealing with Bonnie's sewing room. She was a quilter and always had projects going. She owned a number of sewing machines including an embroidery machine. She was a member of quilting guilds in IL and in FL where they own a condo in the Naples area. She had a full life when she was healthy.

Is anyone else realizing how often we touch our face?

Betrayal

This video provides all the information you need to know about the coronavirus.

CindyNY

Carole - I have allergies and touch my eyes & nose multiple multiple times a day. I try my best when I'm out not to, but its inevitable that I'll slip up.

Betrayal- great video!

IllinoisLady

Finding the center of strength within ourselves is in the long run the best contribution we can make to our fellow people. . . . One person with indigenous inner strength exercises a great calming effect on panic among people around him or her. This is what our society needs--not new ideas and inventions; important as these are, and not geniuses and super people, but persons who can "be", that is, persons who have a center of strength within themselves. -Rollo May

IllinoisLady

ChiSandy

I occasionally have to rub my itchy eyes but I wash my hands first and use a tissue (eye drops too). And I have to remove my retainer for eating and put it back after brushing, so there's no way around putting my finger & thumb into my mouth. Hence all the handwashing. Even with lots of hand cream after, my knuckles still feel like sandpaper.

Bob suddenly has shorter hours, and has been home for dinner four nights in a row. Closing the office to all but telehealth/e-visits and keeping his hospital rounds short, plus drastically reduced traffic making for a speedier commute, is making his work schedule closer to "normal" (like his colleagues who are also attendings but have for years relied on house staff to be "scutpuppies"). Speaking of house staff, yesterday was "Match Day," when M4s found out where they'll be doing their residencies. Normally, they would gather in the auditorium to receive the envelopes containing their assignments; but now it's all done by e-mail or even text. Many in the healthcare community are calling on medical and nursing schools to graduate their students a couple of months early (they can't exactly hold commencement ceremonies) to fill part of the shortage of doctors & nurses ASAP.

Wren44

I saw an online tutorial about making masks for a hospital. Not hard to make, really. They plan to wash and reuse them.

ChiSandy

Bob's main source of income now is what he makes for those two days a week he spends at the union HMO--and it's all getting deposited back into the practice so everyone can get paid (and his partner can keep her health insurance till she's old enough for Medicare--3 years to go). He hasn't done quasi-surgical procedures (caths, pacers, ablations, etc.) since he turned 65--they used to be his bread & butter and now he has to farm them out. The practice is seeing only the most urgent heart patients in person--and is finding it hard to get reimbursed for phone consults & e-visits. He does get paid for visiting hospital patients (because he can bill insurance and Medicare for that), but not for visiting his remaining nursing home patient (who is in the orthopedic rehab wing after a leg amputation). Meanwhile, his ex-partner and mentor is 85 and in assisted living--but still sharp as a tack. We talked tonight, as well as to some far-flung friends and my sis.

Speaking of his partner, the second "spot" in her breast turned out to be a cyst. She's getting a lumpectomy on Monday. Her prognostic markers are Luminal A, but whether or not she'll need chemo will depend on the tumor size and SNLB. (Odds are the OncotypeDX, if she has fewer than 3 positive nodes, will be low enough to avoid chemo).

And--knock wood, kinahurrah, scutta malocchio--Gordy still has a job. As he suspected, his department was spared the first wave of layoffs. But not only is he still investigating fraud, they've pressed him into service because of his customer-service skills: he's especially good at convincing customers not to ask for a chargeback but instead to accept the company's offer of a 120% credit on future events. His major challenge is keeping his dog away from the company laptop during work hours. I am breathing a sigh of relief because he will be able to afford his asthma inhalers. And he & Leslie will be able to get those government checks because they're in the income sweet spot. We won't--it's gross, not net, income. Doesn't matter that all of Bob's gross income goes into the practice's bank account, and he's been taking only half his draw. (We've had to already start tapping our reserve). At least he pulls in a decent amount of Social Security (about the same as his half-draw).

CindyNY

"Match day" was so much fun 6+ years ago for my step son. The excitement of finding out who is going where. He is now in his 2nd year fellowship for gastro, 1 more year to go. I believe all his clinicals have been cancelled, they're back to internal medicine and on high alert. Our new normal has changed.

ChiSandy its good to hear your son is still working. We've got one working from home, more time with his wife and 2 yr old son. I believe he took him for a walk yesterday and he promptly threw himself in a mud puddle. Gotta love it!

IllinoisLady

What is important is to realize that whether we understand fully who we are or what will happen when we die, it's our purpose to grow as human beings, to look within ourselves, to find and build upon that source of peace and understanding and strength that is our individual self. And then to reach out to others with love and acceptance and patient guidance in the hope of what we may become together. -Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

IllinoisLady

Thankful for those who can still work ( like your son Sandy ) and those who can work from home. I do wonder if that could in some cases become permanent or semi-permanent. Not a great time to think of benefits, but thinking travel times for some as well as less pollution. Just fleeting thoughts since so much is going on.

Still hoping for all that we get through this. Lots of challenges, but then we have all shown some resilience for having to deal with the illness of BC and what has to be done to take care of it.

Dreary today. I think we won't see it ( I hope anyway ) but their was a prediction of a possible wintry mix -- snow, sleet and then rain. As the day progresses I think ( it tends to warm thru the day ) we here will be more concerned with the possibility of showers. To what degree -- who knows. It all sounds pretty temporary for which I'm glad.

Also still thankful that I'm not much bothered by having to stay 'home'. Dh tends to wall-climb a little so always comes with me to feed the feral cats. He does get an outing that way to help him abide later on when he gets restless from being inside. Yesterday he had some garage time, but I think having become so chilly today that will be out. We have heat for the garage, but I'm thinking to save it for now. May be in short supply later or maybe ability to pay for the gas. I did make a double payment on propane this last time -- so we have a month's lee-way if needed. I didn't know I'd be glad at the time -- I was just trying to get ahead while I had some funds I could use, but maybe it will help.

Hope you are all doing well, staying well, and adjusting to living differently as much as possible.

petite1

Great video!

CeliaC

Sunny here today, at least until late afternoon. DH and I will go out to give the car a spin around 2 pm. We will not, but DD & Liv will be entitled to government checks. As they live in NYC, the $ will be a welcome relief. DD had to quit her job just before Covid Craziness commenced, due to bounced payroll checks, so not sure whether she will be entitled to unemp. Liv is working on Masters degree from home & as of yesterday still working in a coffee shop, which may end soon. Two theatre grads in one household!

Between DH's SS + 2 pensions from UK (was a detective sergeant with Metropolitan Police) + my KY pension, we are in good shape. I have not yet filed for SS - hoping to do some Roth conversions later this year, especially since it would seem logical that tax rates will rise. Glad I retired effective 12/1/19, as I would have been in the thick of "disaster recovery" plans at the airport to enable admin staff to WFH where possible. My "work son" in IT said it is an IT nightmare.

Gotta sign off here & go throw on some clothes for our driving outing. Stay safe!

keywestfan

Everyday there is a new restrictive announcement here in Evanston at the Mather- now the housecleaning has been canceled. And Beate, who I love, my cleaner from Glencoe, who I have here on Saturdays, of course can't come into the building. So, here I am, washing sheets, etc., vacuuming. It's a learning experience for me how to fold king size fitted sheets. And how to cut Dahlia’s nails( our little girl snowshoe Siamese.)

What is fun is we still have our morning coffee- 12 of us or so every morning- using ZOOM which I've been busy trying to figure out, but sort of did. It works well and is the only way we can congregate. Also use it for Northwestern classes. I bought 100 shares of the stock and amidst the complete disaster of the stock market and my enormous losses, have made $ 750 so far from ZOOM.

The bad news, amidst all the bad news, is that the virus is in all 3 of the Glencoe schools, children and parents have it. The children are in kindergarten, fourth and sixth grade. They have not been in school since March 12.I met my grandson who is in fifth grade on March 14 at Glencoe Starbucks. That night he came down with chills and body aches, no cough or fever. He’s fine now. As am I, at this timeThe virus is also in Winnetka a few miles to the north of us, home of New Trier High School. It’s all so worrisome. This and the stock market, all the losses and BC- we have to stay strong.

Wren44

King size sheets cannot be folded by mere mortals IMHO. We manage to do a good job with the top sheet and do our best with the bottom, figuring most of the wrinkles will come out when it's put on the bed. Some of ours have elastic on all 4 sides.

I told my DD not to visit because she's working in her office and they've sent home a couple of people who were feeling sick. I wish she wasn't going in. She has type II diabetes and asthma. It's no place for her right now.

They described a couple of women at the store who were buying cases of spam. I think they ended up with 6 cases apiece. I sure wouldn't want to eat up that amount of spam in my lifetime.

CeliaC

Wren - OMG about the Spam! I remember eating fried Spam as a kid in the 50's. Hoperfully, never again to that or to creamed chipped beef on toast (otherwise known as s--t on a shingle).

keywestfan - Somewhere out there, believe you can find a tutorial on how to fold fitted sheets. I have it figured out, but poor DH has a terrible time. I used to trim both of my cats' claws & it always took two people, one to hold & one to trim. Just be careful not to cut down too far!

MinusTwo

I solved the problem about folding king size sheets (and queen for that matter) by washing & putting the same sheets back on the bed. That way I don't have to fold. Yes, I have an extra pair of sheets - but this is such a time saver.