Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

Wow, Sandy. Some days all you can say I think is OMG. Hoping with all my heart that the air-bag problems are resolved quickly. I am almost afraid to say it since I'd hate to think I was a jinx, but my friend Jo here has a Ford and so had the same issue. The part had to be ordered. She ended up waiting weeks and having a rental car which the dealership had to provide. Never was an answer for the 'waiting' time for this part. Of course, I do think the need to fix this issue sounds like it must be massive. So, hope I didn't jinx a far faster fix then Jo dealt with on her Ford. After the repair finally happened, Jo's dh traded in his Ford ( no recall on it ) and got a brand new Toyota Camry, gave it to Jo and took her finally repaired Ford.

Brrr today since it won't get past about 22 degrees, if that, but we will have all day sun. I am thrilled about that as it will make the cold ( just let there be my wonderful sun ) so tolerable to me. Was hoping for more warmth since I'd like to get the rental washed. I just have I think neve driven a car ( seemed perfect on the inside pretty much ) that dirty with road salts etc. Anyone knowing me knows I'm not enormously particular about most things, but I am hugely fussy about my car. It is hard where we live in the woods to stay clean though we do have our entrance road far better since they covered the gravel and dirt with oil and chip, but through those long yrs. I learned how to keep my car from being awash in dirt. Now it is a really bothersome aspect to drive around in a filthy car.

Looking forward to my day and the sun and wishing a sunny day to everyone.

jo6359

illinoislady- mt car is always a wash in dirt. I always keep my house clean little cluttered but clean. My car is a whole different ball game. I work home health so my floorboard is loaded with empty water bottles I don't care if my car is dirty on the outside. It doesn't bother me at all.

Chisandy- how frustrating for you with the eyeglass debacle. After going through all that frustration you still don't have a pair of functional eyeglasses. It might be time to switch to a different place. LOL

carolehalston

Sunny outside but cold. Warm inside as we watch Mardi Gras coverage on local tv. I will go visit my mother later and maybe do a little shopping. I have given up on shrinking back into my size 12 clothes and will buy more size 14 as my 76th birthday approaches on Friday, the 8th.

Happy Mardi Gras to all.

jo6359

carolhalston- do you have big plans for your birthday?

Puffin2014

BatyaD: here's what my backyard looks like right now, more snow coming this weekend.

MCBaker

I would be worried about that load of snow on your roof.

jo6359

puffin- we are expecting a cold spell late tonight. It's supposed to go into the low 60s or high 50s. By midday it's supposed to hit the low-to-mid 70s. Perfect winter weather. I still love looking at your snow pictures. The snow looks beautiful.

nanette7fl

Hello. I have a question and am thinking this group might have the answer. I'm 56, young for your group I know. I'm almost 2 weeks past my last Taxol treatment and had my 1st Herceptin last Friday. I've noticed over the past few days that my skin is much more fragile than it was. I have a lot of surface tears... you know not really breaking the skin but just under the surface but some breaking the surface. My forearms look like I've been through a war...an ideas? I have type 2 diabetes but my sugars are coming down now that there's no more steroids...

~Nanette

jo6359

nanette- I'm 59 years old so I'm a few years older than you. My skin was susceptible to blisters during chemo . The blisters would come and go in one to two days. Overall, my skin looked fabulous during chemo. Must have been all the toxins from chemo. I did run into a few women at the Cancer Center who reported frequent skin tears and bruising. Two of these women had type 2 diabetes. And I experienced minimal diarrhea from herceptin and perjeta. I have minimal neuropathy on the toes of both feet but my doctor believes that's from the chemo and herceptin. I don't know if this helps you or not.

HikingLady

RE: skin issues

I'm 61--treatment/chemo started when I was 60 y/o. I didn't have the same exact chemo as you, and it's also probably different for everyone. During chemo and for the 2-4 months after I finished, my skin was fragile, especially fingers. I found skin breaking and tearing easily, and also nails. I ended up using clear nail polish all the time, also around the edges where my cuticles were also really shredded, and ALWAYS rubber gloves, to do EVERYTHING around the house. I bought a box of surgical gloves and used them every time I had anything to clean or wash. Now that I'm about 6 months PFC, skin has been back to normal for a month or two, and nails have been normal again for about a month, so it all took awhile to resolve.

IllinoisLady

Nannette7fl, I'm sure 56 qualifies you to be here. We mainly had this thread/forum opened due to the fact that older women seem to have slightly different issues from the younger women. Past menopause and things like that. So welcome. I hope you can find some answers/thoughts/feelings that you can identify with and use from the ladies here. We really are only as old as we feel anyway. That makes me 37 once in a great while though I am really 73. Please feel free to come whenever you like. Our thread is not too flamboyant or maybe I should say we don't get too rowdy here.

I am wishing you well and lots of good answers.

ChiSandy

I have several functional pairs of glasses--in fact, practically a wardrobe of them. I bought these as a favor to our friend the ophthalmologist, who doesn't charge us for eye exams or refractions. Bob says it's the right thing to do. Spoke to the office's optician this morning--she's ordering a new set of lenses, and will inspect them before they arrive before she calls me to come down to pop out the defective lenses and replace them with the (hopefully) good new ones. (Third time lucky)?

Puffin2014

MCBaker: I had that much snow all over the roof, they were able to reach that far up with their roof rakes. He said what's left up there is OK now that they've gotten the bulk off the lower portion removed, he said there's more support at the peak of the roof.

jo6359

My fingernails and toenails continue to break. Biotin, nail hardener and gloves have not helped my problem. I keep my nails very short and they still break. We all respond differently. One day this to shall pass.

ChiSandy

Some chemo nurses recommend using dark (aubergine, navy, black or "rouge-noir") polish on fingernails & toenails to hide the damage, as well as icing them during infusions (easier said than done).

jo6359

chisandy-good suggestion. I never wear dark polish. Im an OT and I want my clients to see clean fingernails. Im weird . Im going to NOLA for a conference in April. I might have my nails painted a dark color for my trip.

MCBaker

My nails are short, and I have kept them so since advised that chemo is rough on them. I have only one that looks sick, and that not too bad. Every time I put polish on them, it is either the polish or the remover that causes them to get weaker. Luckily my fingernails are holding up well. I have several toenails that are a source of pain.

Puffin; glad you have been advised that your roof is safe. I like the new metal roofs, it slides right off (as well as not having to be renewed every twenty years).

carolehalston

Jo, April is usually a good time to visit NOLA, as far as weather is concerned. Not too hot. No hurricanes. I live on the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain, less than an hour's drive from downtown NO depending on traffic.

My only birthday plan is lunch with some golf friends.

I went to Dillard's yesterday, an upscale store, and didn't find anything to buy. I was looking mainly for capri (or cropped) pants. I went next to Penney's and found a style that fit well. I bought three pairs in different colors. Today I will venture out to several more stores. I don't really need anything but will be on the lookout for something that strikes my fancy.

I got out my beginner bridge books and have started re-learning the basics. I go to Bridge Base Online and play games with robots as partner and opponents. It's good practice for bidding and playing hands. Does anyone in this group play bridge?

Today is Ash Wednesday. I will see quite a few people out and about with ash smudges on their foreheads.

Wishing everyone a good day. Especially those in treatment.

IllinoisLady

A single act of kindness may have a long trajectory and touch those we will never meet or see. Something that we casually offer may move through a web of connection far beyond ourselves to have effects that we may have never imagined. And so each of us may have left far more behind us than we may ever know.

Rachel Naomi Remen

IllinoisLady

Sunny and bright here this a.m. Temps today will not be all that great 35 - 35 or so, but seems like the weekly forecast shows a slow steady climb. That will be nice, but you usually get some rain when the temps. start into over-all much better. Will be so nice to see winter start to fade well. Hope it has the lasting quality that will get us into late Spring.

As to nails. My fingernails had some issues that were more noticeable after treatment. I have to watch how I cut and file them as a few turned in/out just enough to be off and it is not possible now to clean them up as I once did and I have to ALWAYS adjust for the ones that had the slight turning. I cannot say the same for my toenails. I got toenail fungus to they are thick and hard to deal with, but so far I've managed. As long as I can stay limber about reaching them I can pretty well get them trimmed and filed.

We do still have some of our snow on the ground, but I don't think it will be with us for long. My car may be done tomorrow. I'll check some time today and see how things are progressing or not. It will be very nice to have my car back though I must admit I am 'enjoying' driving a brand new car even if some of it is very different. Still amazed that you only throw a key type fob down ( it actually unlocks or locks the car mainly ) anywhere in the car though Chey's always have a little tray area in the middle console area, and then put your foot on the brake and push a little rubber round area and 'viola' the motor springs to life.

Hope a beautiful sunny day is the order of the day for all of you.

nanette7fl

Hello all and thank you for the welcome. I didn't have any nail problems until the very end my taxol treatments then I got a purple lone with white near the nail bed. My finger nails continued to grow. I use "Nail Life" from Sally's Beauty Supply. I love it and have been using it for years. It makes your nails really strong.

Last night I went to my 1st breast cancer support group. It was really nice and informative, the majority of the group was 45+! So nice to talk to people in the real world who 'get it' without having to explain things. I was able to talk a bit about my upcoming bilateral mx and ask how do I accept losing that part of me that makes me a woman. For me that's the hardest part of this whole journey..that IDC will rob me of my boobs 😭 Well it's taking leftie and I'm letting go of rightie for a matched pair....

I meet with the PS tomorrow afternoon and I want to discuss what is better immediate reconstruction or the temporary implants. I hate the idea of surgery I really do and omg there's those scars! I believe the temps are better in the long run.

I don't understand why my BS said the PS will be putting them in higher and under my muscle. Can any one explain that to me? Do they drift down?? And if I'm having skin sparing surgery how do the temps make their way down to where the incisions will be. I'm naive and thought everything would go into the pocket of my old breasts...I'm so confused.

Today it is only 39°F in St Augustine and all I can say is BRRRRR! 22 yrs here and it's cold. When I lived in NY 39 was cold but not that bad lol So glad thise of you in this storms path have faired well.

Nanette

jo6359

carolehalston- I've been to New Orleans several times. My last trip was 5 years ago. We have Dillard's here in Miami. I need to purchase a new dress for my niece's wedding. I'll check out Dillard's.

Nanette- I didn't choose reconstruction after my BMX. I thought I was going to miss my breasts a great deal but strangely enough it didn't bother me. And I don't know why it didn't bother me. Occasionally I wear a padded bra but for the most part I just go flat. I have been thinking about ordering some gel pads they go inside a bra pocket. For special occasions I need something better than my padded bra. Each of us are different and are entitled to our feelings of loss. I didn't choose to go to a support group (scheduling issues) but I did have a mentor through the Susan Komen Foundation. My mentor was wonderful and supportive. These threads also provided enormous support and information.

MCBaker

Nanette, they did the same thing to me. There is a pocket under the muscle where they used to put the implants. However, the reconstruction is unnaturally "perky", damages the action of the muscle, and it looks artificial. This is what they initially tried to sell me on. There is no pocket where the breasts normally go. Normally, they are held there by their connections to muscles, lymphatic system, veins and arteries. That loose attachment is what makes them look natural (and why we wear bras). However, there is an alternative which they did not describe to you or me, and which I found on these pages. In the subcutaneous (or supramuscular) procedure, the temporary implant is wrapped into a kind of tissue made of animal fiber and attached to muscles (?). The body then claims that tissue as its own, and intertwines veins and arteries around it, so that in six months or so the temporary implant can be replaced by a more natural-looking one, neatly contained by its pocket.

Not all people can have this done, though. Thin skinned or very slender women, for example, do not have strong enough skin to withstand this procedure. It depends on the ability of the skin to stay alive while it re-establishes its circulatory connections.

Don't let them sell you short.

HikingLady

nanette7fl Here's how my reconstruction went. I was 60 years old at diagnosis. Turned 61 three months later. The BMX surgery was quite traumatizing. On the cancer side, the breast cancer surgeon (surgical oncologist) 'tunnelled' through the breast to reach the armpit, so that she could excise lymph nodes (using the sentinel-node dye procedures) and then those are frozen-sectioned during surgery to check for cancer. This avoided an additional armpit incision. They take out additional axillary lymph nodes to a certain point if there's cancer seen. This is part of what informs future treatment. I mention this, because that (right) side had a rough time---its surgery was more traumatizing than the left side.

As the breast surgeon completed her removal of all breast tissue, the plastic surgeon moved in to do his part. He stitched a pocket of Alloderm (which is a product made from cadaver tissue) to the top of my pectoral muscle. Then he set Tissue Expanders in those pockets--they were attached with tabs inside, in three locations. It was a very difficult surgery to recover from, with lots of restrictions on arm movements for awhile, since there was so much healing that had to happen, and there had been so much trauma.

As MCBaker describes, Alloderm is friendly to our own tissue, and behaves like a 'matrix,' and our own cells grow into it. Several times, I went to the PS office, and his medical assistant injected saline to made the tissue expanders bigger---that helps the pec and the skin stretch. It was uncomfortable and tight feeling for a day, but nothing horrible, and not that bad, and always felt okay a day later. The tissue expanders are BEHIND the pecs. This is unlike real breasts, where the fat and structure is below the skin and on top of the pectoral muscles. I did not qualify for a variation on this, called 'pre-pec' implants (implants on top of pecs), because I'd had radiation on one side 15 years before--scarring and fragility and blood supply made me not a candidate for that type. I have a hunch that age is also a factor. Months later, after healing (and after chemo, in my case), it was time for the Exchange Surgery. My PS opened me up using the same incisions, took out the Tissue Expanders, and set in permanent implants. That surgery was extremely easy to recover from.

BMX without implants is probably a lot easier to recover from than what I had done. BMX with TE's set in has an additional amount of trauma. As my PS explained, you pay the price for reconstruction right then, at the beginning. Later, when it's time for the setting in of the implants, that's the much easier end of things. I chose this type of reconstruction because it's absolutely less trauma than the flap-types, and I was about to start chemo.

I'm 2 months past the final 'swap' surgery. My implants feel comfortable. My upper body strength is pretty good. I'm swimming and lifting some gentle weights. I went x-c skiing for an hour two days ago. I am in the pool daily doing 'deep water' aerobic exercise.

MCBaker

Pre-pectoral is the same thing as sub-cutaneous. I just turned 69, and have nice thick skin. And no desire to have anyone mess with my muscles. Subcutaneous probably messes less with nerves, too.

HikingLady

MCBaker - I have heard that pre-pectoral are more comfortable? I didn't have that option, due to previous radiation. Yes, exactly as you say. My skin is too thin on that side--that's great that you could have the on-top ones. Mine do jump around a little when I flex my pecs, but Oh Well! I didn't have a choice, so I'm accustoming myself to these, and they're fine.

nanette7fl You asked about why the reconstructed Foobs look higher. My PS explained that it's because they're installed near the top of the pecs, using the pecs + Alloderm as scaffolding. At least this is true for mine, which are beneath the pecs. There will be zero sagging. Once they're in, and have healed and settled (which some people find to be 6-12 months after implant surgery), they'll appear to be, and probably ARE a bit higher on our torso than natural breasts would be. As if we're 14, I suppose. In my case, having them a teensy bit higher is not the least bit noticeable. My Foobs are kind of modest / small (B cup) and they don't look the least bit weirdly high-up.

I've noticed that the new 5 pounds of extra weight I've gained since chemo ended and I got my regular appetite back has lodged itself carefully at my stomach. In the Old Days, my breasts shared the extra weight if I was heavier. These Foobs will always be the exact same size, regardless of weight fluctuations. No more fat tissue in there; all gone with the BMX. This should be motivation for me to lose weight, but apparently nothing budges my bad will power.

nanette7fl

thank you that is a lot clearer now. There's so much to learn now ...sigh I'll get it before surgery time I'm sure.

HikingLady thanks for the laugh and yeah it has to be weird not to lose or gain there...teehee

carolehalston

I had the immediate reconstruction with alloderm and implants. The healing is more challenging than healing without reconstruction but I'm happy with my decision. It would have bothered me to not have breasts. Nine years later I'm very accustomed to my changed body.

I know about TE's but not about temporary implants. That must be something that came along after 2009.

I had some success with my shopping for clothes today and made some good buys.

Wren44

I may have to go there to shop. We've lost Sears and Penney's closes May 3. Macy's is barely holding on. I could have something to do with them spending several years putting in a light rail station. And now they're going to revamp the whole shopping center to add offices and housing (expensive) and a hockey center for our new team. Sheesh. I'm going to have to order online or drive an hour and a half to shop. I think the middle class has shrunk, at least here, and that's part of the problem. I just hate to buy things I can't try on because it's a big hassle to send them back. I might try on 5 pr shoes to find a pair that's comfortable. That would be a lot to send back. We had a Fred Meyer until they decided to only sell their own brand called Dip. Shoddy clothes, cheap material, and entirely designed for thin people under 25.

MCBaker

Tissue expanders and temporary implants are the same thing. It is an easy go-to for those who have word-finding problems.