Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Anneb1149

Hi, everyone

Wow, I miss a week and when I came back today, there are several new friends. Glad to meet you, but sorry for the reason you had to join the group. BatyaD- I totally understand that telling your parents would just add to your stress, but am sorry you will not have their support. I am sure your small group of close friends will hang in there with you.

One of the toughest things I have ever done in my life was telling my 5 kids about my diagnosis. They had lost their father just 13 months before and we were all still struggling with that. I live in So Fla but had decided to get all my missed checkups, that I had let lapse while caring for my husband, while at my oldest daughter's home in Ga. I stayed in Ga for all my treatment, partly because I could be treated at Emory University, which is top notch, and partly because that daughter is so nurturing. I came back to FL for a week between chemo and surgery. My youngest daughter had made it clear that I would not be seeing much of her or her children, because cancer is so awful and she didn't want her kids to go thru that. ( While in middle school, her best friends mom lost a long battle with BC). She came to see me the day after I got home, while both kids were in school. I was very weak, but still me and she took me with her to pick her kids at school and stayed for dinner. I saw more of her and her kids than I did the daughter I live with that week.

On to the great coffee debate. I am not a coffee drinker, never have been. When I got my first job, we had coffee breaks, and I thought that meant I had to drink coffee. I filled maybe a third of the cups with coffee, added lots of sugar and filled the rest with milk. It took months before I switched to tea. When I was pregnant with my first child, the only time I threw up was after I had a cup of coffee- that's almost 50 yrs ago and I haven't had a sip of coffee since then. I still used at least two spoonfuls of sugar in my tea. When pregnant with my second child, they discovered I was a gestational diabetic and said I had to give up as much sugar as possible. As we were coming home from the hospital, I told my husband (who didn't use any sugar in his coffee or tea) rather defiantly that I would try not using sugar in my tea for two weeks, but if it still tasted as bad as it did I that day, I was going back to my sugared coffee and would take my chances with the diabetes. I haven't put sugar in my tea since then. Funny thing though, my husband was the one who developed diabetes- and he died from complications of the diabetes. He was a 100% disabled Vietnam vet and received great care there, and thankfully, they are still my health insurance provider. I don't think I paid more than a thousand dollars for my cancer treatment, and I know that one of the shots I got the day after chemo was $9,000 a shot.

As usual, there is a lot going on in my life. Won't bore you with all the details right now. It was good catching up with old friends and happy to meet new ones

Anne

BatyaD

Because we've been on the coffee conversation here -- I recently switched to green tea. Which I'm not enamored of, but it's supposed to be really good in helping to keep BC at bay (not a cure, but part of the arsenal). I've been experimenting a bit and found that crushing up a fresh mint leaf or two and/or adding some fennel seeds when I steep the stuff (I'm using loose leaves instead of tea bags; kind of follows my coffee-grinding habit) helps the taste a lot. (and adds more anti-cancer ammunition)

I really wanted to have a pig-out tonight because of some backtracking with radiation/chemo/Herceptin plans today---and the worst stuff I had in my house were: more than the recommended 4 oz of organic red wine; organic ice cream sandwiches; organic cashews; organic multi-grain chips and yogurt. Damn---what's my world come to that even pigging out is healthy??????

ChiSandy

I miss Teavana shops in malls: they always had a couple of air pots by the door and offered free samples. (I liked their spiced maté and white tea blends). They also sold German brown rock sugar, claiming you need less of it relative to table sugar for sweetening. The green teas I've been drinking lately are from Republic of Tea: ginger peach, "cherry blossom," and gunpowder green. I do have a packet of 3 CBD-enhanced Pumpkin Spice teabags (each one is strong enough to brew 3 large mugs) but I'm not nuts about pumpkin essence. There's a Ten Ren tea shop in the city's main Chinatown on the near S. Side, but they've yet to open one up near here ("Asia on Argyle," aka Chinatown North, which has a few blocks of Chinese and Vietnamese restaurants, shops & bakeries).

MC, I tried roasting outdoors in a wok over a gas grill, but results were uneven because it was hard to hear the "cracks." I also was given an "SCTO" cobbled-together roaster (Stir Crazy popcorn popper bottom, Turbo Oven top). It worked pretty well (and I could roast a lb. at a time), but it produced lots of chaff. I don't have an outlet on my deck nor a table in my detached garage which has an extra outlet, so I used it indoors. I had a small "Fresh Roast" electric convection roaster with a glass chamber, but it couldn't do even a 1/2 lb. at a time and its little electronic brain died. If I didn't have such easy access to freshly roasted beans (not just Metropolis, but sometimes the Dark Matter, Intelligentsia and Revolution brands WF carries) I might have gone back to "rolling my own." I still have a tubful of various greens--by now, at least 10 yrs old. For Christmas, Gordy got me a sampler box of beans from various Seattle & Portland roasters--there's a subscriprion service for them too. I'm about to use up my last 1/4 lb. of Kenya.

MCBaker

I just got a big can of Folgers', but there is a local roastery that sells in the grocery store. I might buy some to drink with some of the sinful creamer to treat myself. I need to treat myself more often. I suspect that Mormon culture has had an influence on my life.

Besides, I haven't used the grinder built into my coffee machine yet.

IllinoisLady

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
--Martin Luther King Jr.

IllinoisLady

I'm with the group I think that has to sin a little -- so I'm sticking with my last cup of coffee ( 3 in total ) getting liquid creamer in it. I'm going to have to be as good as I can since my yearly checks are going to come up soon. Also, the nurse who does the 'good eating/healthy adults exercised class is having one more class before she retires. She sent a note ( he sees her in the exercise rm. at the rec center ) home with my Dh -- oops I made that backward, sorry --- to let me know so that I could come to class again and get all the newer materials that she has. I'm thinking about it but will probably do it.

Still loving hearing about the coffee and teas, who drinks it, and how much sugar. I can so relate to the sugar. I actually used the South Beach Diet to pretty much break my sugar addiction as well as salt. I still over-indulge in pepper -- but not too worried bout that. It is just Vitamin E. Before South Beach all coffee or tea had to have at least 2 spoons of table sugar. Tried replacing it with Splenda, but it just didn't quite do it so I learned to go without and am okay now, but it was a difficult confront at first. Hats off to anyone who does it.

Hope you all have a good day. Going to Marion V.A. for Dh today. Good thing it is today. It will be 55 or 60 degrees today -- and some sun if partly cloudy, but nice and warm. Tomorrow by noon it is due to snow as much as three inches. Stop for less than a day and then get 2 inches more. We will see as we are in our strangel little pocket here. I do think we will get it though -- just maybe not as much as the St. Louis, Mo. area.

Have a good day and a big hello to Anne. Good to see you.

MCBaker

I just got back from the gym. Going to be going daily except for chemo day, my metabolism slows down with inactivity. Taxi will be the pain about it, I will have to grab some money tomorrow and get a punch card-- evidently punchcard customers are bumped up on the priority list.

Dump trucks carrying snow off of the main street.

Wren44

We're rapidly melting in Seattle, but north and east they got a ton of snow and have declared a state of emergency to get help from the National Guard. Some roofs have collapsed and people are climbing up to shovel the snow off. Not super safe at any age, but for us its twice as dangerous. I managed to get out yesterday and take the bus to an appointment, but the walk from the bus stop was pretty slushy and slick on both ends. I-90 has been closed westbound for several days. I think eastbound opened for a little while yesterday. People here, including me, were really going stir crazy.

IllinoisLady

Just when summer gets perfect—fresh nights, soft sun, casual breezes, crushingly full and quietly cooling trees, empty beaches, and free weekends—it ends. Life is like that too. Just when we get it right, it starts to change. The job gets easy and we know just how to do it, and they tell us we're retired. The children grow up and get reasonable and they leave home, just when it's nice to have them around . . . . That's life on the edge of autumn. And that's beautiful—if we have the humility for it. -Joan Chittister

ChiSandy

Wren, I heard tonight about a couple of “plow rage” incidents in Spokane where snowplow drivers were assaulted by irate homeowners whose driveways had been plowed in. Meanwhile, back in the Chicago area in SW suburban Aurora, a worker reacted to being told he was fired by shooting the “messengers,” killing 5 of the company’s execs.

MC, it isn’t just Mormons who rebel against their upbringing when they grow up. My mom grew up in a kosher household but served us bacon & eggs every weekend, and my dad rebelled against cooked-to-death-all-over-again kosher beef by developing a love for rare steak and raw oysters & clams. My best buddy in law school grew up Adventist in Loma Linda, CA, where veganism was the order of the day. When other kids leave home they often rebel with drugs, smoking and alcohol. His act of rebellion was developing a Big Mac habit!

MCBaker

I grew up in a Catholic household, in a Mormon-influenced part of the country. My mother had briefly gotten involved with them, but became disillusioned with them. She met Dad and his family, and converted to Catholicism. Her family was Methodist, and were mostly happy, but Grandpa was most happy, because he had grown up Anglican.

Coffee and tea were symbolic of being Catholic. I have studied the differences now, they are massive. I choose to live here now because the religious demographics are unchurched, Catholic, Lutheran, and Amish. I even get along with the unchurched, because most of them are not radicals. The Amish, for the most part, ignore the "English". Which is what most "gentiles" in the area of Hancock County, Illinois do to the Mormons. It gets complicated from there.

We need to become more open about our practices, beyond just drinking "hot drinks", saying grace in public restaurants being the most public of them.

My rebellious days had to do more with alcohol as a rebellion against Mormon culture, and a mild incident of child sexual abuse, grossly mismanaged. Our parish priest handled it well. A Mormon, rebuked for excessive proselytization, gave me a book supporting the John Birch Society, which set me off on the opposite course.

I think we need to be quiet on the topic, fearing a collision of differing opinions.

IllinoisLady

We are all afraid of something. But that shouldn't stop us from going on every day. We should not always walk in fear of the shadow while we are in the light. It is certain we will not know when or how the difficult and bad times will come, but if we accept that they will come, then they are easier to face when they do.
And always remember that anything that causes the shadow is smaller than the source of light.

Joseph M. Marshall III

IllinoisLady

Enjoyed the 'rebellion' talk. I didn't rebel too much. In our very small town it just didn't work well. So, I mainly watched my sister and vowed to not 'make' her mistakes which clearly got her nowhere. Maybe that gave me an easier time of things overall. I hated some parts of growing up in a small town. 200 people so the only church was Baptist. My dad help build the church but never stepped foot inside to worship -- ever. My parents had the experience growing up but didn't feel the need to participate afterwards. They did however, believe my sis and I should be schooled similarly.

We never actually talk much of religion here ( though I think light mention explaining who you are is okay ) because that and politics can become volatile quickly. I see myself as spiritual more than religious and so try to look at every day as a special gift. I try not to be hurtful to anyone and to help anyone or anything I can. I am inclined to bring light, love and comfort to anything or anyone if it is possible realizing that we all are on different paths in general for a variety of reasons. It is not mine to criticize too harshly, if at all, what is right for someone else

So rebellions on my end were pretty light and I think as well having gone into the military not long after high school and being highly regimented there ( it was good for me as I see it ) tended to possibly prevent some of the things I might have done or tried. Obviously I like to follow good paths because I don't like punishments. Likely comes from a 15 month difference in sibling age. Often with just the two of us ( actually I saw no value in lying ) and if we each had a different story, we both got punished. Later my folks realized who was more likely to give them the correct version, but I did imprint I think on punishments that were un-deserved and developed an outlook that would keep me from falling err to them.

IllinoisLady

It is my choice to care deeply about others.
No kindness is too small to be important -
the smile to the bank teller,
the sincere "thank you" for all kindnesses received,
the reassuring hand on the shoulder of a loved one or friend.
There is compassion in selfless generosity,
but there is also compassion in heartfelt empathy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

IllinoisLady

Cloudy here this morning, and I don't know for sure what it will do. Temp will go up to around 40 -- so maybe some rain, but all predictions the last two or so days have indicated that any moisture will come at dark. Hmmm, we seem to be staying on that track most of the time this yr. Well, I'm still looking forward to Spring. I think overall it is my most favorite time. Watching my part of the world renew itself so we can have a great summer.

Otherwise I think a quiet day here. I'm back to Steel Cut Oats pretty much daily for breakfast. My friend barely ate anything else. We have a variety, but in the main stick with the oats since the benefits are so numerous. Since I am a 'diet/eating plan' cheater, I need to find things that help make up for that -- as much as anyone can make up. Never sure of that.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

IllinoisLady

No matter what the circumstances, you should never concede defeat.
Never conclude that you've reached a dead end, that everything is
finished. You possess a glorious future. And precisely because of
that, you must persevere and study. Life is eternal. We need to focus
on the two existences of the present and the future and not get caught
up in the past. We must always have the spirit to begin anew "from
this moment," to initiate a new struggle each day.

Daisaku Ikeda

MCBaker

Sandy, I could get deeper into a discussion of the rebellious tendencies of LDS kids, but I won't, other than the observation that many conservative LDS parents are totally oblivious to the causes of that rebellion. Rebellion against the restrictions of a religion that are not essential for an ethical life are a safety valve. Unfortunately, when kids rebel against the non-essentials, and parents double down, that can trigger family chaos.

So, anyway, I bought some hazelnut coffee creamer and some 8 o'clock beans. Diminution of taste and smell with this Taxol makes the switch to better coffee doubly important. Parish sells Mystic Monk coffees, maybe I'll get some for a special treat. Kicking myself for not having upgraded my precious caffeine experience.

IllinoisLady

I hope that works for you MC. I had such issues with 'taste' when I did chemo ( Adriamycin & Cytoxan first and then Taxotere second ). Not meaning to I gave myself some aversion, to of all things, water and it has only been in the last few yrs. I can enjoy it fully and effortlessly. Before that I drank water more than anything else. I didn't have quite as much trouble with coffee, but I think a lot of the stronger flavored things went down better for me. For some time, in order to get waster down me I resorted to Kool-Aid -- something I never drank. It worked for a fair amt. of time, but I really hated to have to get water that way.

You seem to have a handle on things pretty good, so I would imagine you have this figured out already. I mention it mainly as it snuck up on me. I looked at water as mainly flavorless, but refreshing and had no idea I'd get the aversion.

MCBaker

I have been buying pasteurized apple cider for my smoothies, and that is the best. I also am using flavoring drops in bottled water. Late yesterday I was very thirsty and any temp of water was just fine (yesterday was crash-day, so apt for Sunday). I struggle to hydrate because I am uncomfortable with leakage. Silly, I know.

I have house-cleaning on my list, but I think I will get dressed and go to the gym first. And not do too much, so as to have energy left for cleaning.

ChiSandy

I like the unsweetened fruit drops by Sodastream for flavoring seltzer (rather than flavor the whole bottle, I add a half-capful to each glass I pour). Might try it for plain water (especially since I just changed the water & air filters in my fridge). I like the orange-citrus and lemon-lime flavors. All their other flavorings are sweetened to make soda pop (even diet). I really like the cherrry-lime flavor of LaCroix "Curate" limited editions liner, as well as black-cherry-flavor Bubly. Calistoga used to make a wild-cherry flavor, but I can't find it anywhere.

As for leakage, I keep "Always Discreet" in business--the pads, not the undies. Have worn some type of pad or liner since the last few days of my pregnancy, >34 yrs. ago.

MCBaker

I am beginning to accept leakage protection as a way of life. Particularly since hydration reduces facial wrinkles. Ahh Vanity!

CENOK2017

Hi All you older ladies!

I will be 70 this year. Am wondering if any of you had reconstruction after mastectomy? I have a very large breast on my left side, and mastectomy and radiation on right side. I’d like to get a reduction on my remaining breast and just don’t know what to do about reconstruction on the mastectomy side. I thought it would be easy until I heard implants don’t have a very good outcome after radiation. Have any of you had DIEP or other reconstructio?

Any suggestions, thoughts or experiences would be so appreciated!,!

Praying for all of us.

Carol

HikingLady

CENOK2017 Hi - I'm 61. If I were in your shoes, I'd get 2 or more plastic surgeons to see you and advise, and then consider their input when you decide what to do next. Not all PS' do Flap-type (like DIEP) surgeries; some specialize only in the implants after tissue expanders. Do your research by consulting with both types of surgeons.

There is an added risk of implants developing 'contracture' after radiation. A good question for a PS to give you facts and statistics on. It's a solvable thing- a tightening of scar tissue that can be 'released' with a small surgery, usually, is what I've been told.

Fat grafting can be a sequential-surgeries situation. Sometimes, there need to be one or more additional 're-do's of adding fat, since it doesn't all 'take.' Those are questions to ask the surgeons you consult; for those statistics and their experience with that aspect.

Consider how many surgeries you want to go through. Tissue expanders have to be in place for months, they stretch the skin, and then there's a final (very easy to heal from) 'swap' surgery to set in the implants and take out the tissue expanders. So, that's two surgeries. Setting the tissue expanders in means building a pocket. That's an extensive surgery, but all local, and just one place to heal. The DIEP-type surgeries are 'once and done.' Only ONE surgery, but more places to heal, because of donor site. Long healing time and longer surgery.

For me, radiation had been 15 years before reconstruction after 2nd cancer in 2018. My PS said that this wasn't especially relevant. Previous radiation, no matter how long before has a similar effect on tissue. Once you're healed after radiation, it's the same for long before or recently having radiation. Scarring, though invisible, is present in the pecs and in the skin. This reduces blood supply. The tissue expanders stretched skin less well on the previously-radiated side, so when I stopped doing "tissue fills" (the saline that's injected to stretch skin and pec), that side was not very large. I stopped because it just started feeling super awful and too tight when I got to 350cc's. I had both sides done, so they are matched at B cups. I'm sure that flap types of reconstruction would have given me bigger size. However, I chose the surgery that sounded that least traumatizing. I am healing well, getting used to them, and am satisfied. During the months of having the TE's, the previously-radiated side was tight and uncomfortable. It's still less comfortable than the non-radiated side. Not painful. The pecs are just tighter, due to the scar tissue. The implants are under the pecs. This is necessary usually after radiation; for the implants to be behind the pecs, because of thinner skin.

Healing was more challenging on my radiated side. There is a significantly higher rate of infection and slowed healing after there's been radiation. But, that can be managed and watched for and treated. I had slow healing, but no infection.

A friend who's a physical therapist shared with me her concerns about the longer healing for flap-type surgeries, and she said that sometimes they compromise muscle groups, like lats or abs. Which then affects your strength and mobility after healing. That's a question to ask the surgeons you consult with. Those surgeries are significantly longer, which means more exposure to the usual surgical risks.

My decision to have no flap/graft and simply the TE followed by silicone implants was also because I had to start chemo just 3 weeks after surgery. I chose the less traumatizing type of reconstruction surgery for that reason, since I didn't have long to heal and prepare for the next trauma, ugh.

Most people would say that the reconstruction after fat grafting and flaps looks and feels more natural. The shape and comfort and softness can be closer to original breasts.

My PS also said that when there's just one mastectomy, it's sometimes a challenge to 'match' perfectly the remaining, intact breast. It's just hard for the shapes to completely be perfectly alike, since implants are the shapes they are. However, if you're having the other breast reduced, that might be one way to have them be well matched.

Mine are not perfectly matched. Even though their implants are the same size, the previously radiated side is smaller and tighter. Oh well. In a bra and in clothes they look just fine.

IllinoisLady

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
--Henry David Thoreau

IllinoisLady

You ladies are such a wealth of information. One of the biggest comforts of BC. Org. Always someone to be of immeasurable help to another. I have to say though since I only had lumpectomy long ago I really can't add a thing but just feel grateful for BC. Org.

I ( though I feel it seems as bit out of place at the moment ) do have something to share. I read ( don't recall just where but somewhere on the Internet ) some time back about the perfect way to boil eggs. Growing up I learned at home "how" to boil eggs and it stuck. So seeing a lot of different ideas all in one place I looked out of curiosity since I already 'knew'.

Turns out one site gave an interesting way that seemed to 'be all' of any of them. Lately ( couple days ago ) I finally gave it a whirl. Viola' they just might have it. You decide how many eggs you want and find a pan big enough to hold plenty enough water to cover the eggs well. Boil the water -- w/o the eggs. Once the water is boiling good drop the eggs in carefully. I took a large spoon and gently put them in. Boil for ten minutes. Have a pan of ice cold ( I put ice cubes in it ) water ready and rather than pour boiling water into the sink I lifted out the eggs with the same lg. spoon and put them in the ice water.

Once the eggs are cool, peel them ( if you are using them ) like always. I crack the shell in as many places as I can before beginning. I thought at first it seemed like always, but once I got under the 'membrane' of the egg, that shell nearly fell off the egg. I was amazed -- especially since it was nothing like the way I learned to boil eggs. The article said that the 'age' of the egg didn't matter. I always heard 'older' eggs boil and peel better and found it to be true.

Needless to say though it is a bit more work in a way ( only in a way, but certainly not difficult ) I won't be boiling eggs any other way. Just peeling them alone would be well worth it. I don't know how much egg I've wasted because it 'clung' to the shell when I tried to peel it.

We do on occasion here bring out a recipe we love, which is I think nice for us. Use to do it a lot more.

Hmm, today I'm not sure. Very half-hearted sun which may or may not stay and sounds like it will be cold and maybe turning to cold rain and then snow. Really !!! I was hoping to be through that. Well, we are in this crazy little pocket so we will see. It won't do much if anything until dark so we can come and go through the day no problem. Hopefully whatever is inclement won't last too long.

Wishing all of you a wonderful day.

MinusTwo

Sharing another boiled egg tip from the BC dinner thread to make it even easier. It started by putting in cold water & boiling 10-11 minutes, then drain & put in ice water like you mentioned. After they sit in the ice water for 10 minutes, drain the water, put a lid on the pan & shake vigorously. With the shells broken up like this, they really do slide right off. Like you Jackie, I can't believe I've been fighting with egg shells for 70 years & just learned this tip.

IllinoisLady

Hmmm, sounds even easier Minus -- wouldn't have to put those eggs in already boiling water either. Forgot to mention it was said that you will not get the green-tinged eggs and graying coloring of some. I think I'll do your method Minus because you can crack all the egg shells at once. I did a lot of eggs because Dh likes to eat boiled eggs as a snack -- so will have to remember to take some out before I 'crack' all the shells at once. Thanks....now I'm really glad I went ahead and shared.

HikingLady

Well, I will share my egg hard-boiling system. Put eggs in saucepan, cover with water, bring to a boil. Turn off heat and let sit for 20 minutes (set timer). Drain water and put cool tap water over eggs and let come to room temperature or chill in fridge in the cold water (still in saucepan is fine) for 30 min or so. Easy to slip off skins and shells when chilled. That's true with any method where they are chilled after cooking, since the egg shrinks away when it's cooked and then chilled. I learned my method from either Dear Abby or Ann Landers perhaps 40 years ago. It always works for me.

Hard boiled egg + 1/2 an apple, or deviled egg + any piece of fruit = my usual mid morning or mid afternoon snack. The magic of protein + complex carb keeps me fueled and not hungry until next meal. I learned that trick from The Zone Diet. This way of eating was shared with me by a doctor friend who thinks it's the best for a strong immune system. Nothing earth-shattering or new about it. Real food, complex carbs, whole grains, lots of fruits and veggies, eat protein several times a day, reduce white sugar and white flour to near zero if possible (obviously this includes alcohol, since that's a simple carb) and eat more than 3x a day to keep metabolism up.

MCBaker

MinusTwo, how we do it; Cold water start, bring to boil, turn off the heat, let rest ten minutes. Not going to change, but draining the water and roll them around in the pan looks like a good way to get a smooth peel, particularly if you peel under cold running water.

I am looking for someone to help me with housekeeping, thorough once every two months. Kitchen floor looks gross, and I can't get down there and scrub with a brush, or vacuum enough under little furniture to get rid of pesky dust mites. Even a superficial clean is 15 minutes work, fifteen minutes rest. Will need to check references,even though I don't have much of any value.

MCBaker

MinusTwo, how we do it; Cold water start, bring to boil, turn off the heat, let rest ten minutes. Not going to change, but draining the water and roll them around in the pan looks like a good way to get a smooth peel, particularly if you peel under cold running water.

I am looking for someone to help me with housekeeping, thorough once every two months. Kitchen floor looks gross, and I can't get down there and scrub with a brush, or vacuum enough under little furniture to get rid of pesky dust mites. Even a superficial clean is 15 minutes work, fifteen minutes rest. Will need to check references,even though I don't have much of any value.

Woops, Hiking lady, you posted it,