Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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And Tramyar reminded us that Moms are just the best things. YES they are and even though I'm a Mom as many are here --- when I read Tramyar's opening salutation I immediately thought of my Mom and how important she was in my life. Our blessing I think mainly is that we are given an ability to see ourselves as deeply inspired so often by the love, care, deep hope, and attention that our mothers bestowed during our growing formative yrs. If I am good, loving, kind, thoughtful and very decent it is due to the woman who help give me my life. The woman who inspired me to try and make each day count and to be better tomorrow if I could, than I am today. Even though she is gone, I want to make her proud of me every day, even at my age.
Rained through the night and raining some this morning -- and likely through the day. Hope just one day of it will do this time. We were barely dried out well from the last go-round of rain.
Hope you all are going to have a fine day --- and as an aside, so glad for good answers for our worried young friend about her Mom.
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Oh, but then Ducky falls in love with every guy she sees...Hah! How ya doin' missducky??? Okay, Tram... See, these gals all know what they are talking about! But then every case is different... I've heard that somewhere... I was Sooo scared when I heard those words... that "well, it looks like cancer!"... But as each day went on, and then that phone call, that said, "well yes, it is cancer"..... But I was so used to that idea by then, that I just kept goin' on, and followed my Doc's plan.
But ya' gotta just wait.... and then see what comes along! I was 72 when I was diagnosed... Scared to death of general anesthesia, because I always got so sick! But the surgery WAS the easiest part! My girls took my Husband out to lunch and shopping while I was "out".... Had to call them to come BACK, because I was ready to go home!
So that was in 2009... I'm still not as old as the Duckster, but hanging onto her coat-tails.
The point is, life goes on... Don't let your Mom know you are scared... She will hang onto your strength! Even if you shut yourself into a room somewhere, and cry your heart out, don't let your Mom know this.... she is scared too. Just be glad when the waiting is all over....
Oh wait.... THEN I fell and broke my hip... In the alley at midnight, falling off that pole... sort of.... Now THAT was harder on me than the lumpectomy! So now it's nice to "look back"... and see where I was! Now onward & upwards... time to play in the sun!
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LMAO.....She's back!!!!!!!!!.......Hey Chevy girl...how are you doing....
Truth be told we know what kind of a pole she fell off of when she broke her hip.....But I"ll never tell......
And no...I will always be ahead of her in years, and hanging in there
Tram...good advice from the Chevy.....and we are all different...each one handles it the best they can...
I had 6 children at the time....all grown with children of their own..not to mention 18 grandkids, and my first great-grands were born 1 month after my surgery, and in the same hospital...I now have 8 great-grands, and 3 weddings of my grandkids this year......so life does go on, and we all take the hand that is dealt to us.....just keep believing, and be there for your Mom.....that is what she needs....and be patient cause we can get a tad cranky, but we have the right....just be there for her....listen, and when its all over and she has a couple bad days.......even if it is a year later....that is when we need you the most....your gonna be fine dear....and so is Mom..hugs
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When we are conscious of being part of a wider universe, we can begin to see that what we do matters. Every action we take has a consequence somewhere, whether good or bad. Everything that happens affects a part of the whole body of life. Having this knowledge of being part of something larger may motivate us to contribute to the greater good in whatever ways we can.
Sallirae Henderson -
Good to see you here Chevy. I'm home for a break and cup of coffee which I detest doing without since I'm addicted to caffeine. Anyway, we have had some sun today but a few clouds as well. It was raining when I got up this morning but was due to stop with the sun coming out. I hope tomorrow is much sunnier yet. Think we will have a few dry days now and temps that are okay. That is good for me.
I've some things to catch up on and this is also bill paying time so that as well. Nice I will have a little extra from working this week. I will be done tomorrow around noon. As usual --- just in time for me to get home and back to my own bed which is the most comfortable one I've ever slept in. That said, I have a firm mattress ( the kind I've always had ) and then get the 2 &1/2 or is it 3 inch memory foam as a topper. It is just right. I've had memory foam for several yrs. now. They can be a bit on the warm side, but for me they make it possible to keep only light covers on in the winter and no more than a sheet in the summer --- so I find it works out almost perfect.
Anyway, tomorrow should be a really good day in several ways. I'm looking forward to staying home a bit more. I'll see ya'll later. Have a great adternoon.
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Yes! Ducky had 6 children all at once.... right? Or did I read that wrong.... Nah.....
And Tram, I hope you come back... we tend to get lost when we aren't thinking straight.... I just ran into the gal at Starbucks... She has been gone since November.... Said she had breast cancer, plus her other parts were removed... you know... I think as preventative? Because she said she was stage 1 grade 1 in her breast?? Is that possible? She also had chemo, and is on a "chemo drug" called Tamoxifen? Now I know it is an ototoxic drug, but not a chemo drug... or am I mistaken on everything?
I took Tamoxifen, but not for the 5 years... just 1 1/2... because I lost my hearing... one of the few that did that, but STILL! Overnight, and then I couldn't hear. Everyone is different....
So just stay with us.... we might know what we are talking about.... sometimes.
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Welcome back, Chevy! Tamoxifen might have ototoxic SEs (as do aspirin, Tylenol, antihistamine, some tetracycline antibiotics, too much caffeine, smoking, yada yada...I had so many ear infections as a kid, treated with tetracycline--that also stained my molars--that I have had tinnitus all my life. I have no idea what silence sounds like) but that's neither its classification nor purpose. It's not a "chemo" drug (though that's what Medicare Part D calls it). It's an endocrine-therapy (sometimes mis-named "hormone" therapy) drug, an estrogen-blocker (as opposed to aromatase inhibitors, aka AIs like Arimidex or Femara) that "clogs up" cancer cells' estrogen receptors so that the tumor cells starve. (AIs actually drastically reduce estrogen production). Your friend probably either tested positive for one of the BRCA mutations, which drastically increase the chance of both an aggressive recurrence and ovarian cancer--hence prophylactic mastectomy and ovario-hysterectomy; or wanted to prevent the uterine hyperplasia that Tamoxifen can cause, which can become endometrial cancer, hence the "other parts" removal.
Jackie, our weather was much the same as yours. Went downtown to the dentist today--his new office is across from Millennium Park. Check out the photos over on the "How About Drinking?" thread. That's the view from the window of the treatment room.
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Be soft and gentle. Be caring and kind. Be loving in an ordinary way, without any sense of wanting anything back. Life offers you the most precious gift. The gift of allowing you to be present and show love.
Leonard Jacobson
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Be soft and gentle. Be caring and kind. Be loving in an ordinary way, without any sense of wanting anything back. Life offers you the most precious gift. The gift of allowing you to be present and show love.
Leonard Jacobson
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Sorry, as somehow managed to get the quote in twice. Anyway, long but very pretty day. Got finished with my little job today about noon. Took care of the little doggies again and loved it. Of course, as always -- nothing like your own bed which you have made sure is absolutely just the one you need to get good solid rest. Speaking of beds, I just saw an ad for a bed and I was astounded. I didn't look at it -- but knew I'd love it. It was for a Murphy bed. I used one of those in an apt. that my first husband and I rented when we lived in downtown Detroit. Back in those days there was always some crime -- but it was safe enough most of the time is you weren't completely foolish. Anyway, I loved that bed. What fun to just pick it up so to speak and turn the big door it was on until it was out of sight behind the wall.
There was this super tiny kitchenette -- which was actually just the right size. These apts. though were two people at the most apts. No families....There was an exterior door to the outside which anyone could use -- but you had to ring an apt. ( hopefully someone you knew ) so you could be buzzed into the lobby and either take the stairs or the elevator to see someone. Life ( not because of the apt. ) seem complicated now and then. After a few yrs. I learned to see that those were really the simple yrs. It was fun to live downtown actually -- not too far from the Motown Recording Studio. Recall see Chubby Checker one day standing outside. I guess the thing of it is -- like many situations you don't realize that you are NOW living what will become your good ole' days or the times that were more simple or easier than they may have seemed.
Anyway -- my own bed tonight will be fantastic and I'll go over tomorrow and be paid -- for having a good time. It will be nice though to leave my bed and go out to the living room and have coffee rather than washing up, getting dressed, and driving out to the lake in the morning for it. I hope you all have had a really nice day. Spring is giving us a nice preview here. I spend most of the afternoon coatless -- just the way I like it. See you all tomorrow.
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Back in a bit with the quote, but just listened to this and thought ya'll might like it as much as I did.
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Above all do not lose your desire to walk. Every day I walk myself into a state of well being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill. . . if one keeps on walking everything will be alright. -Søren Kierkegaard
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Put this quote in as when I am able to walk as much as I'd like --- I often do sense a wellness that doesn't always seem to be there. One of the nice things about the extra work -- I can get another pr. of walking shoes to take where I like to go. In fairness to myself -- it has been rough weather the past few days so even if I had the shoes I would not have likely been walking.
I also am waiting ( but hoping really soon ) to wash my car. Dh even gave me the funds to do it though it is not too expensive. I decided to wait since I was tired last night and as well there are still a couple of puddles on our road that you can't miss. Even if you manage it, you are off into some mud so I'm sorta of trying to wait. I think the trick is to do it when I have a couple or more days to enjoy 'clean' before the next rain and puddles appear. I think Dh may go down to that spot in the road and cur a couple of channels to drain as much water as possible off the road. Might even be able to get around the puddles better and not have mud created so easily if water doesn't stand.
Bright sun outside which also makes my insides smile a lot. My kind of day, even if starting out cooler than I like.
The cover I left should you care to listen is a brother and sister. The whole family are musicians and I've been subscribed to them since Chevy sent out one of their very early covers.
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When you make the decision to look at. . . your own life and the way you think about it, you do something courageous. You dare to be yourself. It may be terrifying to search inward, particularly when it's so easy to look over someone else's shoulder. After all, when you peer inside, it's hard to know if you've made the correct choice. What if the answers are wrong? What if you don't know enough? But even if someone else's answers are right, they may not be right for you. Making the distinction may not always be easy, but once you see the benefits, you'll develop more faith in what's inside your own heart. -Leslie Levine
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Beautiful and bright out his morning -- so I'm in love. Dh said it might rain this evening.....but I sure hope not. Anyway, I'm just going to enjoy what it out there now which is that fine old sun just waiting for me to venture out. I took Anastrozole for my five yr. pill. Started out with Arimidex and did fine with it. Later on when the generic ( Anastrozole ) came out I was switched to that. I really didn't notice anything then either until the last 6 mos. I found that I felt angry so much of the time and the anger would come quick mixed with a whole lot of impatience.
Once I figured out what was going on I really was so disturbed because I'm not an angry type person. If I'm mad, I'm really mad but you do ( or at least you did ) have to do a fair amt. of work to get me there. Left me wondering how many people I might have stepped on and given a hard time to, so in addition to the original issue ( instant irateness which is not a real word ) I had the depressing thought of what I might have said to others who did not deserve my ire. I stopped taking it about a month early because I knew that it takes awhile to have these se's depart.
I'm not sure if I ever got back to my original 'nature' but I know that I'm far better about things.
Well, I haven't washed my car yet and if its going to rain again ---Hmmmm. I checked my weather bug and it says it is not raining until 2 p.m. or so Monday --- so maybe today will remain as nice and clear as it seems. Fingers crossed --- and I may go ahead and wash my car. Just because it is dirty. If I was truly adventuresome I'd do it myself outside, but not sure I want to play in water when it is 51 degrees.
Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday.
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The cure for all the illness of life is stored in the inner depth of life itself, the access to which becomes possible when we are alone. This solitude is a world in itself, full of wonders and resources unthought-of- is absurdly near; yet so unapproachably distant. -Rabindranath Tagore
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Hello ladies,
Not sure if my tender age of 53 qualifies my presence here but I need to share things before I go stark raving mad trying to sort out all of this stuff.
Biopsy done in 2/18. Confirmed ILC, ++/-, grade one stage II. 3/2/18 did a breast MRI and a bone scan. Just got the reports back a few minutes ago. Need another mammo. And ultra sound of breast. Bone scan showed stuff in my neck that surgeon wants an MRI.
Now I could probably be able to do all of this just fine and hold my head high as I begin this journey except for some recent changes in our home. My DH is 55 and never had any children. We took in my youngest daughter while she battled her drug addiction, abusive husband, and saw her through her pregnancy. We filed for custody Grace when she could not maintain sobriety through or after the pregnancy. She beat her addiction 12/5/17 by taking an overdose of her heart meds.
I am not sure how to face this and raise a 2 yr old. DH wont even tell any of our friends “cancer” . He is scared but not emotionally supportive.
I am sorry to ramble and not make sense just trying to process everything. And honestly this is too much.
Thank you for listening.
GOD BLESS Each of you
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FROMGRAMMAT, welcome to our little corner of BC. Org.
First you are a fine age and we are here for you. Of course, honestly we wish no one ever felt the need to be here but no one gets to live in Utopia. I can't remember when I wasn't feeling some challenge or other. First of all, I think you should congratulate yourself. We absolutely hate to say Uncle over things and as long as too many things don't pile up we just keeping taking the lead pretty much without complaint. You are feeling deep stress which zaps your ability to control your environment and you feel like there is no where to turn.
Your local breast center/oncology team likely might have some resources/groups you could check into. We are here and always ready to offer ideas and suggestions and you might find even more just by looking at the full range of topics at BC. Org. You have had a lot dumped on you at once and doesn't sound like a huge amt. of support.
It is easy for me/someone to say just take one step at a time, but I'd likely choose ( me being me ) to prioritize a bit -- keep the big picture in mind, but don't look at it too hard and pick out one item to deal with at a time -- like making appts. needed for yourself or others. List out your resources that you find ( like this blog ) and use them as much as you can. Be open to whatever type of help might make a difference for you. Some people use medications for a short while to help them over times that are feeling truly overwhelming. You won't need them forever -- but you have had many issues come at you all at once.
There is a great group of ladies here and you will find hopefully a lot of personalities with plenty of suggestions. They all have loving, caring hearts because every one of us at one time or other have worn the shoes you have on now. Hope you will feel free -- this is our place to un-wind and be who we are, in whatever condition we are in and we don't judge -- we only want to make things easier for all of us.
So, we are here for you.
Jackie/IllinoisLady
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GrammatoMom, I agree that this is just too much. I hope that further testing shows nothing more in the way of cancer, but I'm glad your doctor is being thorough. All this uncertainty is the worst part of the whole diagnosis. Once you know the score and have a plan in place, the emotional side gets better. You will need help with Grace for a while, so if you have friends who might help feel free to tell them yourself. I kept it quiet and DH told everyone. I was rather taken aback when he did, but it gave him support from his friends and he was certainly entitled to that. Your DH may be willing to tell once the whole picture is revealed. Right now he's probably hoping that if he doesn't tell it will go away.
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your daughter. That alone is too much. I was in Grace's position when I was a child. My mother died when I was 4yo and her mother raised me. After a little while she was my Mom and I needed to be reminded she was really a grandmother. I'm sure Mom felt totally overwhelmed at first.
People will probably offer to help. Think of concrete things they can do, so when they offer you can ask them bring you dinner on a specific day. Or could they watch Grace while you take a nap. Or perhaps drive you to an appointment when you don't feel well.
Please feel free to keep posting on this thread. And anywhere else you feel comfortable. There are some threads under 'just diagnosed' that have other women wondering how this will turn out.
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(((Fromgrammatomom))). Nobody should have to go through the pain of losing a child, raising a grandchild, and now this cancer. Hoping what they find in your neck has nothing to do with cancer and is easily treatable. (If it's a node, you might simply have an infection somewhere--even a zit can sometimes cause swollen lymph nodes). We're here for you--our expression, especially when you go for tests, procedures and medical visits, is "in your pocket."
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Thank you all for the overwhelming support. I am typically a “bring it on” sorta gal but this has me reeling out of control a bit. And Illinois ty yes I am on 50 mg of Sertaline/day since my daughter passed. It isn’t a lot but it keeps me from “bottom feeding”. It is awesome to know that really I am not alone.
Prayers for everyone here.(even me
)May God Bless yo
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If you're happy, you're wealthy. Happiness doesn't need a bank account.
Mary Christelle Macaluso -
Fromgrammatomom , good for you. Reaching out and sharing some of the burdens tend to lighten the load and we hope a whole lot. If you have read over some of this thread -- I am aways away from my diagnosis, and come to leave a quote ( hopefully good to start the day ) and chat. I don't have tons of ideas, just a few, and hope they help.
Beautiful and sunny here, and my kind of day. There will be more rain, but I'm not sure when. Hopefully it will be nice enough for me to vac out my car and wash the floor mats. More than that I don't think will work out. Bills to pay today and calls to make. Got the kitchen re-done ( organized counters a bit differently ) and I hope it works better for us -- sure looks better and laundry started after my little stint working.
Hope you all have sunshine today. Cheers me like nothing else.
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Nothing like coffee to start our day.
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We're here for you Fromgrammatomom. It all feels overwhelming right now, but you will deal and you have God on your side. Please let us know how we can help.
I finished chemo this week and in a couple more weeks will begin 'the big heal'. Kind of feel like the cold dark rainy day we had today. But this too shall pass...
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Big congratulations to you Murphy.....you did it. A great milestone to have under your belt.
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Mazel tov, Murphy!
Rain/snow on & off all day--snowing again. Snow didn't stick, but there are icy spots on the pavement, so I'm staying put.
On Thurs. I'm getting a LifeLine Screening--Bob insists, mostly for the AAA, DVT & carotid Doppler components (he is skeptical that my low Framingham score=low CV risk). No blood work--up to date on that and getting another CMP next week just before my Prolia shot. The osteo screening on the feet & ankles is pretty redundant considering I recently had a DEXA, but might explain the pain or even stress fx in my L foot. The one thing that has me nervous is that part of the screening is bilateral simultaneous BP readings--and though it's been nearly 2 yrs. since my LE last manifested, I'm wary of having a BP cuff on my R arm for any length of time, even less than a minute.
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The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone. -Orison Swett Marden
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What a good morning -- mainly as it sounds like no more rain for a couple of days. We are moving into the time ( good ole' Apr. showers ) where we could have plenty of rain, but it doesn't sound like it will be a dry March either. Well, at least we should have some sun for the next couple of days which will be fine with me. Going to get a few more things off my list today and then moving right into some Spring cleaning.
I hope you are all going to have a really fine day.
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