Crying all of the time.

heatherbless

I am going through treatment now and am doing quite well with symptoms, etc.  I don't know why I feel so sad all of the time.  My boyfriend and I just bought a new house on a lake and it is beautiful.  I am mad at him today--because he went to play golf all day when I need him here to help me-put the house together and make some progress, and help with the kids.  Do I have the right to be upset with him?  I am also mad--because my own family never even calls me anymore to check on my since I was diagnosed with BC.  I feel so sad and alone most of the time--I can't even get through the day without crying mostly.  No one even understands what you are going through in this process.  Only my nine year daughter tries to comfort me from her heart.  I hope this emotional roller coaster gets better.  heather

KKing

Heatherbless

Going through all of this is very difficult.  You  are getting treatment now, so it  takes a large toll on your body.  You have every right to cry or be angry or whatever you need to.  Your husband may not realize that you needed him there today.  I was always one that looked after everything but once I was going through what you are, I started speaking up when I needed the help.   When it comes to the rest of the family.  Sometimes they think if they are calling they are disturbing you, little do they know you would like to hear their voice.  There is nothing wrong with calling them and telling them you are having a bad day.  Remember when people don't see you they forget what you are going through.  People are so involved in there own lives that they don't always make the effort.     Cancer feels like a great loss, so we all go through a grieving period as our lives won't be the same again.

I am now 2 monthes since my last treatment,  I had chemo and radiation,  I am feeling fairly normal.  My hair is growing and my energy is coming back.  So, just know that you will make it through this and that it does get better.  Look after yourself.

Karen

dlb823

heatherbless ~  As women, we tend to think we can do it all.  When we're at 100%, that works, but when dealing with a dx of bc, we really have to learn to let others take care of us, even if that means asking for help when you need it.  It sounds like maybe you haven't leveled with your BF or your family about not being able to function at your normal level, and needing more from them both physically and emotionally.  What Karen said is so true about people not realizing what you need and also being reluctant to call because they don't quite know what's going on at your house or what to expect when they talk to you.  My stats are similar to yours, and I found it helpful to tell people before they asked that my doctors had assured me that they could cure me and that my long term prognosis was excellent.  In other words, some friends & family may not even be clear on how bad your bc is, so aren't quite sure what to say to you.  Letting them know that I had a positive prognosis helped make them more comfortable calling.  Also, some of the best advice I got from my doctors, was to be sure my family understood that I wasn't going to be able to be the caretaker that I've always been, and that they would have to do more for themselves, as well as for me.  It would be wonderful if people just got this without being told, but not everyone does.

The feelings you're having today are so normal and a part of the process, but if you can be honest with your BF and your family about your sadness and anger, they might be more understanding and helpful.  Just be sure to tell them what they can do to help, because not everyone is intuitive about those things.  And remember, things will get better.  You are still in the midst of your tx.  A few months from now, when the tx is behind you, you'll have an entirely different perspective on things. 

Thinking of you ~

nobleanna007

Heatherbliss,

     I echo the others on this. I had days that would come and I would cry for no reason. Our bodies are so fragile as our minds our at this time, I think its good to let your emotions out. And like the other women I was the doer and everyone had everything done for them plus I worked. There whole life changed and I needed them to understand that. If it does get to overwhelming for you talk to your Onc. about maybe getting a antidepressent they sure helped me and alot of the others on this board.It does not show weakness it just helps us deal with this rollercoaster ride we are on.

                                                     Takecare, Bridget

spar2

I too was depressed and cryed a lot that first year but it does get better.  I promise.  Your family may not know how to handle your diagnosis.  I never heard from my mother but my daughter said when she told her she broke down and cried.  Try calling them and telling them that you need them and need to feel their love.  Also, don't try to do it all, if he plays golf, then you read a book or watch a movie with the kids and wait for him to get home to help you.  Remember this to shall pass. gentle hugs.

heatherbless

thanks for all of your support-- I am doing much better now this week.  best, heather