Take it lite, sisters!

Blundin2005

Felicia,

I backed away some time ago for the same reasons.  That said, I come back from time to time....like today....to see if I can contribute anything useful or learn something helpful.  

Member of the Club made a very good point.  The off breast cancer topics can be draining of precious enegy we need to heal.   I find it helpful to remember that while we are all created equal, our paths take us on various journeys.  We can be at any point along that journey--these may not necessarily coincide with mine. 

You are wise to know when to care for yourself.  It's not selfish in a negative way at all.

Hope that you return sometime in the future.  I miss the 'good old days' too.

tanti auguri,

Marilyn

Anonymous

OK - I just stoped in to send to say that Ilove you all (well, most of you, or I wouldn't be leaving) and thank you soooo much for your kind words.

I'm so upset by the nastiness that I can't even describe it. To know that such hatred exists is one thing, but to see it in action is a totally different story. To think that women who have fought/are fighting this beast would even TRY to tear fellow sisters down with words is absolutely beyond me. It makes me so sad and is literally draining the life out of me...

I'm sure I could come here and stay away from the ugly threads, but they'd still be there. So many requests have been sent to the moderators about removing them, but they never even get answered. I'm done trying to figure out why, so I think it's time for me to pack my cyberbags and head out of Dodge...

The reality is that if some of the folks I'm bumping elbows with here were my neighbors or folks I was forced to have regular contact with, I'd have probably moved by now or found ways to kick their sorry a$$es to the curb already. I love this place, but because it isn't being watched/moderated/monitored like it should be, it is turning into a place I'm not even comfortable going to anymore. Sucks, but I've got too much stuff on my plate to add dealing with catty women to my to-do list.

My black belt test is less than four months away. I started my karate journey just after my breast cancer journey began, but the negativity here is hindering my training in ways I never even imagined. People, it seems to me, will treat you as badly as you let them. This is just me saying that it ends here...

I love you guys - I really do. I'll miss you all terribly, but I gotta jet...

Medusa has left the building, lol...

LuAnnH

Felicia, I am not sure what is going on and who the people are that keep deleting peoples posts but I am so angry that the mods are not stepping up to the plate and oding their jobs!!!!  I am going to miss you as I always read your posts and they bring smiles to my face.  For me I rely on these boards to get through most of my days and I really lean on you all to help me.  You will be one less person there to lean on.  You are the 2nd person today I havel talked with about this and just todn't get it.

How could someone dislike you or do mean things without knowing who you are?  Why haven't the mods noticed a behavior of certain people deleting threads that did not violate any rules?  Whay are they not being punished for abusing the rules and privileges of the board.  maybe if we ban together approaching the mods they will respond?  Maybe a new thread specifically addressed to the mods ofor the mods?

Either way, if you leave I will miss you.  Please find a way to keep in touch.

leaf

I have never posted to you directly, but you have been such a lifesaver to everyone.  I remember your posts from when I first got diagnosed. 

LuAnn says things so well, and I won't be able to say it better.  I will definitely miss you if you leave.

AnnNYC

I'm really upset that someone has deleted Felicia's comment (above) on her own thread that she started!

crazy4carrots

So am I!  What gives?

Blundin2005

I'm really confused...deleted "by the community"?  This is not the moderators?  There's a sniper?  I've been away from the boards too long it seems.  I don't know what's going on either.  I didn't see the post before it was deleted but given what's been said here so far, I can't imagine it was outside the guidelines for posting.  But I really don't know because it's been censored.

I've always recommended these boards to women here who find themselves needing support during this time.  I had such high praise of the quality of the support.   Not that people can't make their own choices about life, but I don't think I'll be recommending this site any longer. 

I'm not looking to put my head in the sand--and I don't want to add to anyone's burden who I might recommend here dealling with this disease (one very recently).  God I remember well my first days, months and even years!  How much I needed these boards!  How much I still do! 

The negativity here, even though reflecting the potential of our human condition, is a cancer in and of itself that eats at the energy of health.  

Sad, very sad. 

 

BethNY

Can't imagine how anything Felicia could have written would be removed by the community, but I'm sure it's one person with multiple screen names, too much time and their hands and

NO LIFE!!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF for running off someone as caring, loving, and  as STRONG as Felicia is. Clearly, this person does not live their life by the rules outlined in Felicias original post.

If you're reading this Felicity , you know who you are, and so do we. A beautiful, intelligent, strong, and most of all supportive sister.

wishiwere

Pm'd you a few days ago Felicia, and hoping you got it?  IF you're reading, please read your pm, would love to stay connected through emails dear friend!

SheriH

I just saw this as I don't really post a whole lot anymore, either.  I am sorry that this has happened and am sorry this board isn't what it was.  I still check on people I know and want to keep up with.  I also have depended on it for advice and help at many times.  I really hope the problems can get worked out and people like Felicia don't feel like they have to leave.  Felicia, you give good advice and I've apprciated your comments.

sbmolee

Gonna miss you Girl!  I also had no idea of the negativity going on. 

Isabella4

Does anyone know what Felicia has written in her post that has offended some evil bitch?

I am so disgusted as to why Felicia is being treated this way, she always has been one of the most helpful girls on this board, and I have never seen her be disrespectful or nasty to anyone.

Surely the mods want a shake up over this... how do we do it ???

How can someone sit there, with mulitple names, and be allowed to get away with this ?  How was someone have been allowed to hound Chemosabi off these boards recently, another disgraceful happening .

I don't normaly get angry, but I am beyond angry about Felicia, and Chemosabi's treatment.

Isabella.

BethNY

Apparently it all has ties to the political threads, which I think if the mods were smart they would remove all of the threads having anything to do with politics, b/c all it does is cause rifts between folks.

I thought once the election was over things would calm down, but apparently is hasn't stopped, and people are deleting posts that don't violate BCO conduct rules, which then sets off everyone else in turn.

Can't we all just get along?

Isabella4

I am still sizzling, what on earth has the political goings on got to do with bc anyway ??

This is a bc support group. Occasionally we step out and go off topic, but these threads have a life of their own, there are some very smart (well in their own opinion !) people shouting at the top of their voices, drowning out anyone elses comments. THEY are right...sit down and shut up, and listen to me..... that was what I got when I looked in on this thread. Maybe one young lady in particular  should have run for president, she was so much in the business of trying to instil her ideas on others..

Perhaps they should bog off and start their own boards, and stop creating on this board. Maybe 2 or 3 of these people should be banned for good for causing so much trouble and upset to people on here, who in some cases are fighting for their lives.....keep politics light...this is a bc support group.

Isabella. 

sbmolee

There are alot of threads on this site not really related to BC - such as the games, etc.  I think all should be allowed and folks should be respectful of the variety of opinions.  The off-beat threads take our minds of the BC crap and at times that is what I need for a few minutes.  If you can't be respectful, then don't post on the thread. 

Just my little o'opinion ...and I am entitled to it.  ;o))

nosurrender

I cannot believe that Felicia has had a post removed.

Please- can we have that post put back?

I am CERTAIN that there was nothing there offensive or against the rules.

Having Felicia leave here is a tremendous loss to this community. All she did was GIVE.

This is really very upsetting. 

iodine

I look forward to the political threads being removed. 

I enjoy "moving beyond" but not the nasty stuff I've seen on those boards--other topics are great and, I agree, take our minds away from the bc crap---but not those threads.  They just generate hate.

pinoideae

Felicia, why should you leave?  I am not sure what is going on with the "post removed by Community" stuff.  It is really upsetting what is going on.  Thanks for the recipe Felicia.

Member_of_the_Club

I added to the Obama thread saying that I think the idea of taking down the political threads is a terrific idea.  They are so divisive and don't serve our community at all.  I am a very political person but I go elsewhere for that, there are plenty of blogs and forums for politics.  There aren't many like this for the bc community.  I hate that Felicia felt she was driven away and I hope she comes back.

ADK

I hope Felicia comes back, too.  And - Hey - who the heck is this "community" that decides to remove perfectly good posts?  There are reprecussions for removing any post that doesn't meet the definitions that are laid out, I just don't know if they are enforced or not.  Hopefully, the little "community" of five will suffer the consequences of their actions.

WellWater

Felicia:  I sure hate to see you leave - your posts were always interesting.

I agree that the political threads should be removed.  There is no room for them on this board - there is way too much animosity.  I am going to write to the moderators asking that they take a look at this suggestion, perhaps if more do the same they will remove them.

pinoideae

I see no point in supporting anyone other than the President for President.

nowheregirl

                   

I just want to remember each and every single person on this forum that how much effort our newest angel Deb aka AlaskaDeb had made in order to bring peace to this place. Everytime something went wrong here and things got out of hand, she was almost always the first one to change the subject to something delightful or funny. She had never told anyone what to do or what not to do, but she had loved peace and always tried to be a peace maker and she really was, as y'all know. Considering how much she and all of our sweet sisters who are lo longer here must have wanted to be here with their beloved ones, it's certainly not the time nor the place to let our bond go rotten. Just my two cents.

             

Hugs,

Fum

dreamwriter

I don't normally follow the elections closely but I, do watch the news..... so I know that Obama won.  It will be interesting to see how he rules the country.  But even on a thread started by Felicia with respect to her leaving, someone had to put in a  political statement....."I see no point in supporting anyone other than the President for President".  I dont even understand what that means.  Have people forgotten that this is an international board.... I am Canadian and there are people from Europe, Middle East, etc.  I understand having a political thread but the election is OVER. 

Please explain to me.... if the moderators delete a post.... they put their name on it... I have seen it.... "this post deleted by moderators... melissa-tami"  but if 5 people agree to report the board will automatically delete the post.  Is this right?  I want to be clear.  But no one reviews these decisions.  And therefore any 5 people together or someone with 5 sign ons can have the power to control the communication between people on the boards.

My next question is do we know for certain, as in can prove who is doing this?  If so, why has this gone on to the point of people leaving.  I know I left the mountain thread because there were accusations flung at chemosabi and I could see no reason for it.  But like I said, I could not read the deleted posts.

I think we should have a panel to review member related actions.  If a post is reported, it must be suspended until a member of the panel decides if it meets the standards outlined.  If it passes the suspension is lifted and if it doesnt, it is deleted and the person must write an appeal to the moderators.

I know it sounds like work, but sometimes you have to work for what you believe in.

Isabella4

Dream..... VERY good suggestion.

Isabella.

cmb35

Fumi - It's so hard not to think of how Deb would respond to this latest issue of deleting people's posts and getting them banned - she would throw her hands up in disgust. And then she would speak her mind about it and try to get everyone to stop it.

I will never forget her "it's just a rock" post, directed at another group of warring women. She was talking about the middle school girls fighting and being mean to each other on the playground because they all wanted a certain rock for their fort.

Life is too short, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all, "it's just a rock..."

hollyann

I agree..Felicia's post should never have been deleted.......It is such a shame that our sisters are being run off because of the few who are such dirty rotten lowlifes.....This is appalling to say the least....I have seen this board go down hill for the past 6 months with all the bickering and name calling....This is a support board!...But apparently some of the newbies and possibly oldies (like dream says how can you know who is doing these awful things?) ...Felicia  please don't leave....You are needed here...You helped me with recon decisions back inthe day and I still read your posts to keep up with anything and everything......Such a sad state of affairs we are in.....Also I too am looking forward to the political thread being removed.....Politics are not needed here......Hugs to you all...Lucy

Anonymous

Please don't let the low-lifes win. If we ignore them as much as possible and keep these boards for their intended purpose then they can't stop us.  

BethNY

Whats really pathetic, is that Felicia has been banned from the boards for 10 days due to a post she sent to someone.

So on the thread about Deb C., Felicia had to pass her words of condolence through someone else.

Enough already! Everyone should comitt to not spew word vomit on other people. Everyone should comitt that even though we can't pick our family of BC sisters, when push comes to shove, no matter what our differences are, we will always have each others back.

Right now, I could care less who you voted for, or what G-d you pray to. Another one of our sisters is dead, and all we should be screaming about is Where the hell is the cure???

It's bad enough we have to lose each other to the beast... I'm not going to lose sisters over petty fights.

AnnNYC

I totally agree, Beth.