Is anyone else thinking "Oh the heck with boobs"?

mke

I'm close to a year past my bilateral mast. and I haven't done anything about getting prostheses yet.  At first I was waiting to heal up, but that happened long ago.  It isn't a matter of convenience, I live close to a reputable place and it isn't a matter of money as my insurance will pay.  Really I just don't care and no one else seems to notice or care either.  I was planning to get some for formal occasions, but I've been to a few events now and it didn't matter then either. 

Likely I will get something sooner or later, but I was just wondering if there was anyone else who had a similar opinion. 

lisa-e

I went shopping for prostheses this past weekend. I found some forms that I liked - they looked very natural on me and felt comfortable. However, I found it very funny to have breasts again. It has been about 3.5 months since I had my mast and I have been going flat. I think I got used to my appearance.



I doubt if I will wear the forms a lot; it seems like too much trouble. My normal attire is a tee shirt and it looks fine if I am flat. However, I have a few dresses that would look better if I wore the forms.

Sher

Actually I started out with forms, but am going the other direction now.  After my bilaterals in July, I started wearing the poufy forms that came with the post surgery camisoles.  Then I got latex forms which were a problem keeping in position and I seemed always to be yanking on the bra and straightening my boobs!  Later I graduated to silicone forms, but still only wear them when I go out...........the minute I'm home, the boobs come off.  So, I'm leaning more and more to "the heck with boobs" altogether and am so much more comfortable and "me" without them.

MariaG67370

I had my Bi-Lateral Mast on June 12, 2008, had 4 treatments of TC and will finish up radiation today.  I said to heck with boobs before I even had the Mast.  Very happy being flat chested and very comfortable. Very happy with my decision!  BTW I am a professional, have my own business and a director on a number of boards. Makes no difference that I have no boobs.  My brain still works!

dianeh1954

I had a double mastectomy September 2007.  When I was going through chemo, one of the nurses gave me some protheses.  Sometimes I wear them and sometimes I don't... Sometimes to work and sometimes not.  I am really not bothered by being flat chested.  It doesn't bother me at all.  I'm 54 years old and still have alot of life left in me, but I don't think I have to have breasts to be happy.  I am leaning toward not doing anything.  I think I had enough pain and discomfort for awhile and I'm enjoying life.

Diane 

smithlme

I had my first mastectomy in April of 2007 and attempted TRAM recon, which failed, in January of 2008. Two months later I was diagnosed a second time on the other side. After my second mastectomy, I was diagnosed BRCA 2+, had a total hysterectomy and decided I have had enough. I use to wear my prostheses, but they are uncomfortable and heavy. I am very happy being flat and comfortable. Even when people notice, no one says a thing...

Linda

jbau

I was so glad to see this post. I had bilateral with tram in April 2007, it failed in May '07 and I've been flat since.. I've gotten prostheses and we. Maybe one of the benefits of this is no bra! too many things to do in life to worry about boobs so much. I'm especially enjoying exercising and swimming without breasts.

Jennifer 

Anonymous

Ya know, MKE, mine were never that important to me.  Sure I like looking feminine and being feminine, but there always hidden, so who cares!!!  Biologically the only reason we have them to nurse children.  I've still got both, but if I had to have them off, I think I would have just left 'em that way.  Women here have had so many problems with implants that don't stay put, infections, and every other thing.  The idea of having a foreign object sewed up inside me doesn't seem right.

 

Maybe I'd have some nipples tatooed.  Maybe. 

smithlme

Besides additional surgery and pain, I have a fear that if I get implants, how will I be able to feel if I get another lump? I found my first cancer and my second was found by mammo. Right now I can feel all the way to my rib cage, which I check often. With implants, I'd have no way of knowing what's lurking underneath. I've been that "fluke" too many times and I soooo don't trust my body anymore...

Linda

haltsaluteatx

Thank you for this topic. I had a bilateral without reconstruction Oct 28. I had no interest in recon. I do not have any interest in forms either. I like not wearing a bra. My breasts were never too important to me. I mostly wear casual clothing. I felt alittle uncomfortable at the gym when I was changing for the first time wearing just an undershirt.No one seemed to notice but I thouhgt they were.  I bought some Jockey womens undershirts and they are comfy. I am more comfortable being flat chested. I am getting married in July. We are planning an informal wedding. Can't recall the last time I wore a dress so probably a linen suit.

apple

flat's good.

they don't get in the way that way.

wallycat

I was too chicken to have implants and not enough fat to do the other surgeries.

Once I came to terms with flat, I LOVED it.  I've been flat since the surgery and never bought forms.  My boss and I joke around about my flat-look and I openly talk about my mx/bc.

I too have gotten so used to the look, I would almost find it odd to have boobs again.  Funny how our brains adjust.

pip57

No boobs or foobs for me.  It's like being liberated!

12954

Unilateral last December. I was small to start. The form ( even the smallest) is not that comfortable. I wear one only when I really need it to make clothes look right. Never at home &  I'm down to about half time at work. If I didn;t teach high school it would be even less at work. I don't think anyone even notices. The poofy didn't fit right for me.

anseliam

I found the best boobs! Amoena has the best products. I had to get them after my surgery as I was not flat but "caved in". I feel better. 

d5holmes

I am about to do a prophalatic bilateral mastectomy since I am Brca1.  I wasall ready to try non recon then the docter told me I would have a fat shelf...  Now I don't know...

hipchik47

Well, I had a bilat in December 07.  I knew I did not want to have recon because I have had enough surgeries and did not want the hastle and the possibility of failure.  I do not regret my decision. I love being flat. I have foobs I wear once in a while, but only for special ocations.  d5 holmes your dr is right about the shelf.  I have it and must say I do not like it, but in order to get rid of it I have to loose weight.  So, I've adjusted....

anianiau

d5holmes and hipchik47, exactly what is a fat shelf? and where is it located?

I had bilateral mx December 8 and opted for no reconstruction. My surgeon pushed me to see a plastic surgeon, and I'm glad I did. I learned a lot, and he was a nice person. After a lot of thought, I opted out of immediate reconstruction for reasons others have already mentioned. However, I will see him to have a revision of my incisions. That isn't something everyone needs. In my case, the surgeon left too much skin. He said he wanted to be sure of a good closure, but deep down, I don't think he believed me when I said I didn't plan on reconstruction for at least a year--if ever. He also took the drains out too early, and today, a chest wall ultrasound showed fluid & clots. All of this is likely to be resorbed over a period of months, if not it can be 'cleaned up' at the time the scars are revised.

My belly sticks out some, but I wouldn't call it a shelf. At home and for casual wear, I find the freedom of not wearing a bra refreshing, partly because I live in a tropical climate. Bought half a dozen 'frilly' cotton camis--Calida makes some nice, soft ones--from an online discount seller, saving about 65% of the cost. My husband really liked them, and even more important, they make me feel feminine. I wear the post-surgical cami with 'poofs' when I need to fill out a dress, for fit. (I was a 42DD, so some clothing really needs them--or else I will need to have those things altered.)

But for wearing fitted dress clothes, once I am totally healed, I do plan to get a set of lightweight climate controlled prostheses, as well as a pair to wear with a swimsuit. (Land's End had a simple navy blue one piece mastectomy tank on sale for under $20.) I am sure the breast forms will be put away once I walk in the house and change into casual clothes, if for no other reason than I don't want to ruin them putting something into a hot oven!

Have you seen the www.breastfree.org site? I found good information there, with personal stories and photos of women who have opted to use forms only sometimes, or not at all. There are also good links for resources through that site. For me, there was a lot that was extremely helpful.

Good luck to you. Sounds as though you are finding your way very well.

kmccraw423

Thanks for bringing this up.  It is especially appropriate for me now.  I had a bilateral mastectomy on December 19 and opted for immediate expander insertion.  Before I could leave the recovery room I had a hematoma and both had to be opened again.  It was one month later on January 18 I had to go back to the hospital having "sprung a leak."  I went on IV antibiotics (the big guns) and on January 19 underwent another surgery to remove the expanders.  Even now they don't know if the antibiotics worked so quickly it killed the infection or it was a rejection of the expanders. because the cultures were negative.  I spiked a fever, had diarrhea, went for a chest ultra sound to determine if I had developed pockets of fluid just to determine if that was the reason for the infection, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

I'm scared to death about reconstruction.  I am 62 years old and a diabetic.  My primary care physician thinks I'm crazy to even try but then he thinks 62 is over the hill and women my age don't still want to be attractive!

 I saw the price of the foobies - good governor!  The prices of post-mastectomy bras are more than I would have considered paying for a bra when I had breasts.  Has any one tried a padded bra with extra padding added and if so, what kind of padding?  I doubt I will want to wear it often but I would like the option.  I think the conditions under which I would re-consider a re-construction is if (a) this whole experience was a distant, faded, and fuzzy memory; (b) I had lost all of the excess weight; (c) I became a marathon runner; and (d) my blood sugars were under such tight control that they squeaked.

Jule

Hi. I am 37 and had bilateral masect on Sept 28. I did not have reconstruction because I had radiation and just finished at the beginning of January. I have to wait awhile because of the radiation. BUT I am not upset without....less weight and I am comfortable. I think sometimes other people feel uncomfortable, but i don't really care it. Maybe in a year I will think about it. Maybe.

d5holmes

The fat  shelf the surgeon described would be where my upper absomen meets the bottom of where my breasts are.  Because I probably have 1 to 2 inches of fat on by absomen. there would be a shelf there.  He said skinny women are often flat because they don't have the fat layer.  It sounds sort of gross but I guess I could adapt if I had to.  I still occilate between reconstruction or not.

anianiau

Thanks for the information, d5holmes. Well, I have some abdominal fat and had a bilat mx last month but no shelf has appeared--and I wear a size 16. I do notice that the tummy area appears more prominent, and other women have confirmed that they found the same thing. This is less evident when I wear the camisole with the 'poofs'--one reason I want to get prostheses of some kind for occasional wear.

kmccraw423, sounds as though you've had a really hard time. I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I've done a lot of research into lower cost mastectomy supplies, because insurance doesn't pay for all that much, and I would like a few extra. If you want to PM me, I'll be happy to pass on what I've found. (Anyone else, too.) And no, I won't get paid per click for those referrals.

barbe1958

What a great thread! I LOVE not having my 42Ds anymore! I wear pretty cami's under my jackets, sweaters and bloues, and most people haven't even noticed even when I'm standing right in front of them! Their first thought is I've lost weight and I explain it just looks that way. (was 6 pounds tho!)

My surgeon mentioned smaller women have an easier time, but I thought he meant they lost less in their profile and adjusted better.Now I understand about the shelf thingy (though he didn't explain). I have a layer of fat over my ribcage that is prominent now but I'm thinking of it as ballast for my previous breasts and assuming it will disappear now that I don't need it. (crossing fingers) 

One of the younger girls at work actually poked the "swelling" and said "Oh, is this your bandage?" I told her it was swelling from where my drain had run.

Now the guys I work with in sales say I'm even more one of the guys! They laugh, but "cried" too at the loss of my beautiful sweaters and tops...

I don't wear any clothes that require a shape so I don't feel any pressure to wear foobies.

Very happy with my decision. Over 37 years as a 38D or bigger! I've done my boob term. 

MariaG67370

I am not seeing a fat shelf either (I was a 40 D) and wear a 16W top, but tummy is more prominent.  I wear mostly casual clothing and have been wearing stretch camisoles from Wal-Mart $5.95 each, nice selection of colors.  Very plain and simple but very comfortable.  This camisole does have a shelf bra which does ride up, so first thing I do when I get home is cut off the tags and the shelf bra. Also planning on clean up surgery in the spring.  Surgeon left too much skin.  But again  not at all sorry about my decision of not having recon. For swimming I use a speedo type swim suit.  No form necessary.

Sher

Debbie H, I'd also advise you to ask your surgeon about dog ears.  I'm overweight and have the prominent abdomen, not the shelf, which I can live with.  But my surgeon left really large dog ears on either end of my incisions - especially on the prophylactic side and this I absolutely hate!  These dog ears are prominent enough to show through clothing.  I was insistent that I would NOT be having reconstruction, but to my way of thinking, most (but certainly not all) breast surgeons remove just breast tissue, leaving tidy up stuff to be done by plastic surgeon later.  It's extremely frustrating to me that this tidy up surgery will be necessary when I hear that many women, also overweight - my fitter for one, had incisions that were tidy from the start!  You can get good results with the right breast surgeon. 

d5holmes

Maybe I need a different breast surgeon not a fancy reconstruction.  The big belly doesn't really scare me.  The "fat shelf" sounded really gross.  It's funny because I don't think I am vain.  When I was 21 and about to be married I got contacts.  Since I always wore glasses I thought it would be obvious but nobody noticed.  It was a rude awakining.  I wore them for the last time on my wedding day (LOL).  If he hadn't told me about the"fat shelf" I think I would have scheduled that day.  I am thinking of asking him to leave skin so I have options if I do want reconstruction (if I go the non recon route).  I just seem to be waffeling.  I don't have cancer (I am BRCA1).  I have a lousy family history that skipped a generation (boys only in dads generation) and I am 47,  I am at the age this seems to hit in my family.  Sometimes I think I think I am waffeling because this gives me the excuse not to schedule the surgery.   I live in Boise Idaho  and there isn't that many options.  I am a bit confused.

Lolita

Thank you for this thread.  I don't wear anything at home, but at work I wear a push up underwire strapless just to give a tiny bit of shape.  Also, it helps me when I change for my lunch time yoga  class.  Its pretty comfortable and works under a bathing suit also.

Snowbird

Same here. I love the freedom and have no need or desire to go through recon. I did crochet a booblet to stuff in my old bras whenever I want my front end to look "aligned", otherwise it's au naturelle for me. So far, if anyone's noticed, they've not said... Will probably have the "other" removed for convenience, but promised myself a year to decide.

sarabhealed

kmccraw--so sorry about your reconstruction ordeal. Stories like yours helped me opt for no reconstruction after my Bilateral on December 10th--PLEASE check what your insurance covers for prosthesis and bras--they are required by law to offer this and it doesn't matter that you've had a failed reconstruction--they still have to have it as a service. I know that sometimes deductibles/copays etc. add up--but any help can make it more manageable.

I am happy flat--I am happy with foobs--I am happy not to have cancer! Lymphatic massage has helped my swelling, scar area and comfort level immensely and physical therapy was well worth it to regain range of motion. I recommend both highly!

hipchik47

I love this thread.  So my fat tummy is there plus the layer of shelf. It is exactly where my drains were so I though they would dissapear, but did not after a year.  I have the dog ears too. My breast surgeon told me I would have them so I kinda accepted them,  but now I resent having them.  They feel like tennis balls under my arms lol.  I have not found camis that I like. I have walmat ones I had presurgery and now find they r too low. I live in Florida so I need cool and comfy.  Any suggestions????    d5holmes, there is a chatter in Boise.  Her screen name is lynnid.  She might be able to give some info.  Kmccraw I had a seroma too 2 weeks after my drains were out on one side only.  I had it drained 2 times and  then just squeezed out the puss(eeewww)  after that. It took 3 weeks to go away.  I slept with sanitary pads in a sports bra to absorb everything.  I know they do not like to leave in drains 4 too long cuz of chance of infection, but hello, a seroma is a big mess. I also think I should have been warned I might get a seroma so i would have know not to panic.  Its a very common occurance.  So all,  find good breast surgeon and ask a lot of questions.  love Hippy