Pregnant after BC

paxton

I am almost 3 months pregnant.  I was diagnosed with Stage 2a invasive breast cancer, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes in July of 2007 when I was 33 years old.  I had a lumpectomy, followed by DD ACTx4/Taxolx4 chemo and 33 tx's of radiation.  I finished rads in March of 2008. 

I am in a commited relationship and have no children.  I am now 35 years old and as I stated, am just shy of 3 months pregnant.  I had my first follow-up MRI July of 2008.  It had glowing areas but showing no evidence of cancer.  I was scheduled to have another MRI in January 2009 just to compare because of the glowing areas.  But TaDA, found out I was pregnant.  I am alittle nervous; wish it would have happened after the MRI.  But I figure I will have the possibility of recurrence for the rest of my life so try not to worry excessively about it. 

I still remember being in the oncologist's office the first time and having her explain how fertility preservation measures would not be available to me, followed by, "I'm sorry about that."  I didn't really know what to think.  I had never made up my mind about having children and I was starting to feel like it was my fault to miss out because I had waited so long.  I was one year into a relationship with the only man I had dated where I felt I would even want children.  It seemed a bit cruel to finally find him and then be denied a family and possibly even my life if the cancer didn't go well.  Because of the immediate concerns with having cancer, I pretty much put the topic out of mind and started to focus on saving my life.  If I was meant to have children after, it would happen. 

And it has.  Patience really is a virtue.  It takes an enormous amount of patience to steer through life sometimes.  You have to deal with things you don't want to and be denied things you do want.  I don't know what will happen down the road.  But I am here right now.  I have lived a year and a half since being diagnosed.  That is a gift.  Life is a gift and I'm learning to stop fighting the current and go with the flow regardless of where it takes me.  Crying is just as much a part of life as smiling.  Embrace both...