laughter and humor....

kapiolani1969

i do have to share this only because it actually helped me realize that i need to find a little humor in what i am dealing with or i WILL go insane.

what is the one product that you purchase that is a pound?  my answer hamburger.  now on to why....my best friend was over and my fiancee, myself and denise were talking about me having the masectomy and i just said well that means each breast weighs (roughly) a pound.  the only visual i got was the square package on hanburger wrapped in plastic.  go with me on this.  my body instead of breasts, 2 packages of hamburger.  i couldn't believe what i had said and it struck me as funny and i needed to laugh.  then of course my best friend said, your not a pound each  your about a total of 5 pounds.  ok.....so a family pack of hamburger?  2 1/2 pounds on each side?  we got a laugh out if and it is helping me realize to not lose myself with cancer.

i find humor in so many things but yet when it is as important as this, the reality of it is, i am 39 years old with breast cancer and i am scare to death!  i have figured out that laughter is healing me and helping my fiancee.  but............i breakdown often, the moments in the shower where you think no one hears you cry, to the i'm in a different zone look, to the realization....it's happening to me.  

i have become to realize my own mortality and that i am living on borrowed time, and i am fighting to borrow more.  but i will not let my cancer take over my life completely, i have to find me and hold onto to me to make it through all of what is to come.