My Journey Begins

NanaOfTen

My doctor (surgeon) called today, a day early. He has the results of my biopsy. I have infiltrating adenocarninoma in my left breast.

I looked it up: cancer that has grown through the cell wall of the breast area, in which it originated, and into surrounding tissues.

He told me he had paged an oncologist and I am to see him as soon as possible, and I would be going through tests in the next week, mri, bone scans, etc. The onocolist called me a few minutes later. I see him tomorrow morning. Will have blood work done then. 

I have a feeling things are going to go rather quickly now. I don't know what I am feeling at this moment other than rather overwhelmed. I had a gut feeling it was bad, but didn't expect it to be of the sort that was not contained, in just one spot. I pray it is only in my breast.

Cheryl

samedaynurseJan

Hi Cheryl

First of all take a deep breath, yes things will move quickly, but there is always time, time to ask questions and get answers, time to discuss options, time to feel informed if not totally in control of your plan. You are still missing a lot of information and anyone on these boards will agree with you that waiting and doing tests is the worst.....once you are armed with information and a plan things are a little bit easier. The fact that your malignancy is termed infiltrating is not necessairily a bad thing, its a very common type of breast cancer. I was just diagnosed on Dec 1 2008 and I have had my surgery, my radiation therapy (Mammosite) and all the additional testing , there were times I felt totally out of control and of course overwhelmed and unable to talk without crying no matter what anyone said , this is certainly not a journey we want to jump on board for it has been given to us , ask questions.....have your family ask questions, I took 2 people with me everywhere I went and by all means come to your bc sisters with questions and fears and concerns and anything else you need. *Fingers crossed for positive results as you go along....*

caaclark

Hi Cheryl,

Many many of us have been where you are.  The overwhelmed feeling is, well, overwhelming.  Once you have a game plan you really will feel better.  Things went incredibly quickly for me and in retrospect that was a good thing.

I also had multi-focal (in more than one area of the breast).  None of the surgeries or treatments were nearly as bad as I imagined them to be.  Don't get me wrong...I do NOT want to do it again, but I was surprised to find out how quickly we girls bounce back.

Keep us posted.

jancie

Our journey is beginning together at the same time.  I was just diagnosed a week ago and am going through further tests.

There are many women here that have a wealth of information to help you so please feel free to ask tons of questions.  I am in awe of the support on this board.

NanaOfTen

The ladies here are all great!

At first when I felt the lump, I knew it was not good, it was too hard, too big not to belong there. But now, knowing that it is more than just the lump does bring more fear into it. And yes, the loss of control is nasty. 

My daughter just stopped by on her way home from work just to give me a big hug. My ex's new wife may take me to the docs tomorrow with my son. I don't drive as I have a head injury from a car accident, have seizures, etc., and the appointment was made too late to schedule a ride with the bus service for disabled persons.

I have no appetite, can't sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time, I hope he will give me something tomorrow to help.

samedaynurseJan

oooooooooo.......I wish there was some way we could help you to see just how much alike we all are and how similarly we all react to all of this......

From Dec 1 til Dec 30th I lost 17# due to having no appetite.....I lived on Mots for Tots apple juice and graham crackers , now that I am on path and more than halfway through I have already put 5 of those pounds back on. I accepted a prescription for Ambien from my breast surgeon and took one every single night until my surgery was completed , having that sleep made a huge difference. Ask for something..........

jan

NanaOfTen

Jan,

I know what I am going through you all have gone through. I just need to voice it. You are the only ones who truly know what I am feeling. My kids can only imagine. I know I can say, express my feelings here and hopefully no one will say 'you shouldn't feel that way' because we all know we do and we will untill we get past what part we are going through.

I keep trying to call my mom and there is no answer at her house. I so want to chat with her. She is a 15 year survivor. She had a lumpectomy and radiation. I can connect to her not only in this way but ... she's my mom.

DonnaDio

My journey begins ..like the post title as it is so true!!!

 My diagnosis of IDC began the week before Thanksgiving and just been assigned a surgery date of January 20th!  Never having any major surgery before this is  all still surreal to me!! I am emotional and tired as i am so focused on getting all  the right info and staying connected to all i am doing. I have decidied to do a bil/mx with recons. This PS does not use expanders and should be a one time surgery.HE will harvest a muscle and use that to secure the implants. There is still alot to this all and recovery will be personal to each of us! This is defintiely a journey and one i need to accept wholeheartedly and fight!!! There are so many strong and awesome women in this forum!!!!

Any encouraging words of getting to and thru the surgery would be greatly appreciated. Healing thoughts to all here!!!

jancie

Ask for xanax or valium and definately some Ambien!  I am having horrible mood swings and so I asked for a prescription from my doctor today.

I was so dreading the MRI and bone scan tomorrow but not anymore because I am going to take a valium before I leave the house.  I have no problems admitting that I need some meds to help me with the anxiety of the testing phase of this.  I am emotionally falling apart right now because I don't have answers, I don't have a game plan.

If it weren't for the ladies here I don't know what I would do!

I just keep reminding myself that I have a wonderful husband and a drop dead gorgeous horse that needs me so I am determined to fight and win this battle.

NanaOfTen

DonnaDio,

I have had several major surgeries in my life. so this part is not new but does not make it any less scary.

I was in an auto accident six years ago this May, i was rearended and my thigh bones were pushed into my knees, the seat belt tore a tendon in my shoulder in half (that surgery was one to write about . . . ), my hip was damaged by the buckle from the seat belt, I have two bones in my neck touching my spinal cord, my eye was detached on the inside, my lowser spine is compressed and the nerves are pinched so it's hard to stand still for longer than five minutes, and I now have a brain injury - seizures, memory problems, loss of math, comprehension, etc.

We all are tough people, been through a lot and now we are traveling down a new way

I have to have a CATscan tomorrow morning. I am nervous because i have a problem with the iodine dye they use. last time, it stopped my breathing, so they gave me predisone to take today and tomorrow to help stop it and to take benedryl. I pray to the Dear Lord for it not to happen again. Was like an elephant sitting on my chest.

Janice, my doc did give me a script for ambien. it didn't work after the accident, but he said with the way the chemicals change in the brain after a TBI, it may work now so I am giving it a try tonight. I hope to get some good shut eye. I really need it.

Tell me, how do you ladies help your children deal with waht we are going through? My youngest son, 27, is really having a hard time. He is crying a lot. He does not want to see me sick, I have hair down past the middle of my back, always have since he was a little boy, that's how he remembers me, and he says he doesn't know how he will handle it if I get really sick. I tell him, I'm NOT GOING ANY WHERE! I AM FIGHTING THIS MONSTER!   I PLAN TO BE HERE FOR MANY MORE YEARS!!! I don't know what to tell him because I don't know what my treatment will be yet, but know i will find out in the next week. Friday, when I see the surgeon, he should have the cat scan result and then I get the PET scan done next wednesday and see my oncologist the next day. That day, Thursday, is the day i believe i find out my treatment plan.

They mentioned a diet. Are any of you on a special diet? Are there certain foods I should NOT eat? SHOULD eat? 

ha, i have no appeitite and here I am talking about eating certain foods ... I would have to make myself eat anything, . I have to make myself eat when the day gets to the end and i realize i haven't eaten all day and need to get something in me. can't fight this monster without fuel.

lots of thoughts always in my head.

I didn't call my mom today, wanted to give her a day off. she is probably wondering what happened at the docs, but she is more hurt/scared each time I talk to her .

Any suggestions?

Cheryl

GracieM2007

Boy, I remember how scared I was when I first heard those words.  Definately ask for some kind of anxiety meds, they will help you through this first scary part.  My kids were great, and yes, I did lose my hair, and I also have always had long hair.  But I figured better to lose some hair.

 I found out in April 2007.  Mine was 1.7 cm. Stage 2, Grade 3, 1 node positive, ER/PR + (very strong, 97% on both) and Her2-.  I do not have either of the BRCA genes.  I am almost two years out.  It gets easier every day I think, although it will be with you the rest of your life.  My cousin, who had breast cancer 17 years ago (yes, she is a 17 year survivor), said to me "you will never have a normal headache again".  How true that was.

 But, you are in the worst part right now, at this moment.  It's scary.  You hear the word cancer, and you think "immediate".  You think you are going to maybe pass away from this, and you think it might happen tomorrow, or next week.  But this is a long road.  You will get some better information as you go along, which will help you know more about your cancer, and then will decide what path to take with it.  And once you have a plan, you will feel better about it.  We all do.

Until then, check on some meds, and remember to breathe.  I know that sounds silly, but so often when we get this DX, we start breathing shallow, because that old fight or flight syndrome takes over, so a couple of times a day, take three or four really deep breaths.  Then let them out slowly and try to release some of that built up tension when you do.  It really will help you out.

 If you are worried about what to eat, ask your doctor if you can see your local nutritionist.  Most hospitals have one.  Discuss what's coming up for you and ask him/her what you should be doing in the meantime to ready your body for what might be coming along.  I did this and it helped out immensly.  

Gracie 

DonnaDio

 KEEP fighting Cheryl as you are one testimonial and as far as the kids go. Just keep being yourself and keep bein gan example. Life is a journey and it is not always easy.I do teach, and one thing is, kids are more resilient than you think.  It is important for them to see and learn, it is not always what happens to us that matters but how we react to it. They are fearing the unknown.Abandonment that maybe MOM is not always goin to take care of us with the treatments taking you away and all of the unknown you are feeling they feel too!!! you have been through hell and back, you are a true example what true strength and courage are about!!!!!

Thanks for the suggestions Jancie and Gracie on the meds and how to use them!!!!  I KNOW there is alot of unknown ahead of me as you all know, and it does cause unnecessary anxiety. The recovery part is the one i am so wondering how it will be and it is different for everyone. Thank you for everything!!! The breathing part is so impt., thanks for the reminder!!!!

NanaOfTen

Hi ladies, you know, when I was in rehab after the accident, we went through breathing treatments and I forgot all about those and how much they help. Thanks, thanks, thanks, for the calm that comes after.

I saw my surgeon yesterday. How does one know they are making the right decision??? 

Okay, he told me a lumpectomy would be the best as I have large breasts and the amount he would take is that of a breast if "normal" and then if I want, I could have a reduction of the other breast later. Or I could have a mast done. If I decide on a mast with a recon, then I have to see a pc first and all is postponed.

I so want this part behind me so I can get on with the fight!

I may have to have chemo, he said a high chance (90%) that I will. shi$%^()&BT&)T 

My daughter went with me. Moral support and a sounding board. I decided on the lumpectomy. He will also be taking out 3 (I believe he said 3) lymph nodes. I am not getting a recon, and may decide later to have the one not operated on reduced, but then again, why? if I may get cancer in that one later? then if a surgery is done, what is left?

What difference does it make in how old we are as to whether we have a recon done or not? We are all women, regardless of age, we care how we look. I am of the mind, right now, thinking, this is me, I will have battle scars, but it's part of me. At least I am here. But they said something about ... if you were of your daughter's age, i would recommend the recon, but since you are of your age, well, maybe you don't want to have it done.??? This did NOT influence my decision, if I wanted it I would be going for it.But I thought, what the heck? I'm not that old, and I don't look bad, most people think I'm still in my 40s. geez

I still need to have surgeries done to heal my body from the auto accident and feel having the recon would only postpone getting those done, I want to walk without pain ... my knees need fixing! I can put pads in my bra. I do not need to be perfect for anyone. This is me, baby, take it or leave it.

How does one decide, and live with it. I wake up and then think AM I making the right decision.

I get a call yesterday and was asked, "are you 'happy' with the results of the visit?' happy? i ask. no. i'm not happy. what the heck!  I don't want this, can't think of anyone who is "happy" with the results of having a lumpectomy, radaition, chemo, hormone therapy ... ?!

hmm, think my irish temper is flaring

Well, i was finally exhausted and slept like a baby without the use of meds. I slept close to 11 hours. emotionally and physically pooped out. 

Any suggestions, tell me your stories of decisions and how you came about them. please o please, surgery is scheduled for next wednesday.

Love you all,

xoxoxox Cheryl

GracieM2007

Cheryl, I opted for a single mastectomy.  I did this because I have a long family history of breast cancer.  I don't have the BRCA gene, but still family history.  When I was 18, (many years ago, I'm getting older too  ) I had a lump in my breast.  At that time, my grandmother had just had a mastectomy.  So when I found the lump, I went through all of the worry and everything, and at that point, just said, if it's cancer, just do a mastectomy, so I don't have to worry about it.  At 51, nothing had changed that opinion, so I had it done.  I never waivered in my choice, but now, looking back....I wonder if I would have felt differently doing a lumpectomy instead.  Knowing me, and how I worry, I would have just worried that much more with the lumpectomy.

 I hope you find peace in your decision.  I think you will, over time, it just takes some time.  And don't let anyone tell you that you have done wrong.  You have made the decision that is right for you, and that's the way it should be.

 Will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Gracie 

apple

my cancer was fairly advanced when I met it. 

I wouldn't dare, in anyway, inhibit the ability to detect future cancer... which is kind of what i thought of when I considered reconstruction.

NanaOfTen

I believe I have come to a conclusion. The first recommendation from my surgeon was to have a mastectomy, but then he said a lumpectomy would be enough since I had enough breast that he could remove the mass and surrounding tissue and leave "enough" for a breast. I would then go through radiation and 90% chemo. What I didn't like him saying was that 'because of my age, the need to preserve my breast may not be an issue' ... WTF!?!?#@*^&%

I've had these babies since 5th grade, why wouldn't I want to preserve them just b/c I am over 50?

After chatting with my family and the doc again, I have decided on the mastectomy with reconstruction. This breast has been biopsied several times before and I don't want to go through this again in six months. The doc said I could still get cancer again in the other breast. That is why some choose to do bilateral, I said. He said, but that is rather radical. Yes, I said, I understand and, and will deal with it if it happens. I wonder that I will have two different size breasts, but I can live with that. I have been searching and looking at pictures of reconstructions, and so far, what I saw is much better than the lumpectomy he suggested.

I would rather have nothing, meaning no surgery, but bootface caught me and I have to make a decision ... so I have to do somehting and this I believe I can live with easier.

Cheryl

NanaOfTen

I just wish the shaking would stop.

DonnaDio

Cheryl,

     I feel the same way!!!  My gyn/obgyn about 15 years ago, suggested i consider a masectomy because of my family's history!!!  I was horrified back then!!! Today, it is becoming the norm as many women are taking charge of their bodies and being their own advocate!! My breast surgeon told me this as well and as long as i was choosen a bilateral for the right reason, he was ok on that decision. He did not see it as radical as majority of his patients have been goin this way for some time. This surgeon by the way, this is all he does so he sees alot of B.C. patients!!!

The reocuurence of cancer coming to my other breast had me most concerned and that is why i am goin with the bilater/mx and recon next week!!! Nervous as you are, but we are doin what is the best for us and to eradicate this cancer as best we can!!!BTW. i am 52 and think it is vital to have what we can in breasts if that is what we want!!!Your doctor surely has a strong opinion and may hurt others very easily!!!! Healthy wishes being sent and know you are not alone!!!

NanaOfTen

Having my surgery Thursday, January 29.

Unilateral mastectomy with expander.

This is still a twilight zone experience. A friend of mine emailed me info re baking soda as a cure for cancer ... what the heck!? So ... am I not to have my breast removed and instead have it injected with baking soda? Gamble?

My tumor grew from 2.2 x 1.5 cm to 2.2 x 3.7cm within three weeks. That is fast to me ... I am just glad I had the sense to check out why my breast was tender when I was watching TV that one day. The lump was not there the week before! I am praying it hasn't grown too much more! Right now, I won't have to have radiation tx, will have to go through chemo. Radiation only if it has reached my chest wall.

My hospital stay will be about 3 days then I will go home with my daughter to stay with her and her family for a while. I worry about my skin, I can take a while to heal. I had surgery a little over a year ago and it took almost two months for the incision to heal. Will that affect the expander being filled? I imagine my incision bursting open when they try filling it. 

Nightmares ...

My breast hurts. I was thinking the other day, as I sat watching tv, holding my breast (it's gotten noticably larger than the other and the weight of it,pulling down on the lump is painful, so I place my arm/hand under it while i sit and watch tv - living alone makes this easier ) that having the surgery done and over with may be a relief, this pain will be gone. The pain of knowing it is cancer causing the pain I believe makes it worse. I know I will have pain and discomfort from the surgery and the process of recosntruction, but the cancer will be gone. I pray for the grace to handle that uncomfort ok.

DonnaDio, my mom is a 15 yr survivor, she just told me her aunts all died from cancer. I said, Mom, this is something you should tell me ... a long time ago. My breast that has the cancer has already been biopsied twice before, this is the 3rd time - so much for the charm - but this time it's malignant, b9 all times before. My oldest son wishes I would have a bilateral. My oncologist is truly optimistic re my NOT having a recurrence, but we all know it's a crapshoot. I am large breasted ... DD's, and my ps seems to think he can make my "new" breast as large!  I don't know if I will handle the expansion for all that time, to go through that much stretching. If not, I will have a reduction done on my right side and either way, an uplift will be done.

4 days and counting. Wish I could sleep till then, but too much to do to get me and my place ready.

Cheryl

Bethie1

Hey Cheryl

I was newly diagnosed this past Thanksgiving, andnow have had surgery.  They attempted a lumpectomy on my last Friday the 16th, based on what they saw on MRI, ETC.  It had gotten into the all of the breast tissue and set of lymph nodes off breast.

You're in my thoughts

Bethie

NanaOfTen

Bethie, do you now have to have more surgery? My surgeon said they will be taking out some lymph nodes to check, the result of that and if it has spread to my chest wall will determine if I need to go through rad tx.

Let me know,

you're in my thoughts as well,

Cheryl

RIV54

Hi, Cheryl, When I was dx in March, 2007, the lump was just under 2cm (see my signature below). My breasts we a small D. My surgeon said a lumpectomey should take care of it. So I went through the process of onclology appointments to get my options. If I had lumpectomy I might only need radiation therapy. If I had mastectomy I would need chemo and no rads. I was more afraid of side effects and other damage that might be caused by radiation than I was by side effets of chemo. I opted for the mastectomy and chemo. I should also tell you that the biopsy results were stage I IDC. After the mastectomy and pathology report I was stage IIIa IDC with 6 of 25 nodes positive. This meant that both chemo and rads would be necessary. The conclusion I came to was that if I had only the lumectomy I probably would have had to have a re-excision, so I was greatful and more positive that I had made the right decision to begin with. I hope this doesn't scare you, but until you have the pathology report and know if your tumor is ER/PR/HER positive or negative and if there is node involvement, its difficult to know wether or not you are making the right decision. Trust your gut and your breast cancer team and try to get as much information as possible. There is much information to be had on this website and through the knowledge and experience of the terrific ladies here.

I also had a tissue expander place at the time of my mastectomy and a breast reduction of my right breast when the exchange was done. That of course is another story. I'm through it all now and am on the other side hoping to stay clean. Good luck with your decisions and treatments and keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

NanaOfTen

Gina, one of the reasons I opted for the mast was to avoide radiation as much as possible. I know I still have a chance of needing it, but it's a small chance. My oncologist says if it's on my chest wall, then I will need it.

I call to talk to the nurst anesthsiaists today to prepare for the surgery. I talk to "Bonnie" for over an hour. She takes a detailed history of me. I had an EKG this past october. I get a call about half an hour later to let me know I need to call my PC to get a clearance befor they will do the surgery. ??? I say to her, this had to be done, no matter what. I am NOT dying from cancer.

I call my pc and he wants to see me today before he will clear me. Now I have to call a taxi to go in and see him this afternoon. (I don't drive due to the head injury from the auto accident -seizures, cognitive problems, etc.)

I get there and they do another EKG and my doc and I talk, I love my doc. He is glad I opted for the mast/recon. The dizziness I have been having is from my head injury and he feels I need my seizure meds adjusted (dang, we were trying to reduce the amount of meds I am on) and the reason I am so cold all the time is more than likely my thyroid - my neurologist thought i had a problem with the thyroid, too. So, he orders all these blood tests I have to have done today. The cab would be too expensive to have them cart me around.

I then call my daughter at her work. She is able to leave work a little early. I wait at the doc's office for her, we go and get the blood work done, I get a bonus of seeing my granddaughter (she's 4, a little sweetie) (I'll be sleeping in her bed for a while after I get home from the hospital - I will be staying with my daughter and her family) and then home I go. My daughter was able to find out the tentative time for my surgery - 7:30 a.m. and have to be there around 5:30 a.m. no sleep Wednesday night for me! 

Two more days.

My neck is so sore from the tension. I can't wait to sleep.

Cheryl

Curlylocks

Cheryl,

I am truely sorry that you have had to join us here. You have already been through enough challenges in your life in past few years...

I was 41 when diagnosed with invasive ductual carcinoma, 4 cm tumour, grade III and 3 positive lymph nodes.  I had no family history of bc and was thrown for a loop thinking this could never happen to me so young!

I chose a lumpectomy as my surgeon assured me he could get clear margins and would do radiation which he said equalled a masectomy.  Now looking back I wish I had removed both of them and went with my gut feeling.  At the time when I was diagnosed over 3 years ago, I was so afraid, uninformed and just wanted the tumour out of my body!  I worry that I may have made the wrong decision only time will tell.

I went through 6 months of chemo and I too had long curly ringlets down my back prior to bc.  Now 2 1/2 years post chemo, my hair is getting long again and is even thicker and curlier if that is possible than it was before.

I also had 5 1/2 weeks of radiation and had my ovaries removed, got pushed into early menopause and have been on Armidex (hormone theraphy due to er/pr+ status)  for 3 years come May.  I am still cancer free!

The anxiety of waiting to have surgery done and getting treatment underway is so stressful as is the emotional side of dealing with breast cancer.  Your life is turned upside down and will never be the same or normal like it was before.  You will establish a "new normal" in time, just give it time...baby steps one day at a time....

I took Ativan throughout my entire chemo as the steriods kept me awake.  I am now on Armidex and being put into menopause has caused sleepless nights once again so I have been taking Immovane for 2 1/2 years.  It is so important to get sleep so take whatever your doctor will prescribe for you, this is the worst part of breast cancer right after diagnosis...all the worry is enough to keep anyone awake...

I wish you all the best on your breast cancer journey and that surgery is successful. 

 Just look at me, I am proof that you can come through the other side of this disease, be happy and cancer free.

Michele 

NanaOfTen

All of you ladies here, after reading your posts, I really feel I am making the right decision re having the mastectomy instead of the lumpectomy. After seeing my doc today and how his face lit up when I let him know I decided on the mast instead of the lumpectomy was a good feeling, too. He was glad I chose this route. I really trust him.

Yes, this site has given me a lot of support. You are there with me, I am there with you. No one can understand what one goes through unless they have walked in our shoes. 

While I was out running around today, my oncologist's office called and left a message...I had already made my follow up appt for the 9th of February. So will see what they want tomorrow.

I saw the thread on the Jan. 09 surgeries. So many. Prayers to all of them. 

And to all of you.

God bless.

Cheryl

DonnaDio

Cheryl....   My surgery is now a week over!!Where has the time gone. YOU now will feel the peace of knowing you are making the right decision for YOU.  Not once have i regretted it.Taking the time as i did after my diagnosis to the surgery date, gave me ample time to do what i needed to do for me and be well informed.

This aftermath is  defintiely a journey. Will write more later on. Getting stronger each day. Today my path report should be revealed and Thursday is my first appt with a well noted onoclogist and then Friday I get two of my four drains out. They gave me xannax and ambien and do it as i need my rest. I am also on Celexa. i have  a customized melatonin creme that i had before as i had been goin thru menopause also . Need all of this to finally get sleep!!!! So thanks for that validation on how anxiety is so part of this journey and it is OK!!!! Phewwww..plus the drains are hard to sleep with. I get two of the four takened out on Friday. Will this hurt????

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Cheryl....  You are so right about the anxiety!!!! NEVER would  I think I would need stuff to sleep..but have to!!!!  

Thanks here for such real and genuine words.What this journey would be like if we did not have this forum~~~~!!!!!Healthy wishes to all.

DonnaDio

OH SORRY!! Meant Michelle  for my ast response in last post!!!!Too hard to focus after only a week from surgery..lolol.

NanaOfTen

DonnaDio, I am so glad you are done with your surgery. Four drains, huh? phew. My ps mentioned two for me plus the port. I will see in two days.

Had to call and have all my docs get my blood work results. Never knew I'd be so wanted would rather it be for something else...like my lasagna! My gf and I used to have our own catering bs and when my brother married we did his reception. He wanted the lasagna but only if I made it. I told him no way could I make lasagna for over 200 and be a guest so he didn't order it. Bad sis, huh? no ... lol

ok, what is that called ... mind blank, when one just banters on, i'm doing that today. nerves are really bad. think i'm going to lie down for a bit. I have a lot to do, tho, to finish my house to be ready for post surgery readiness. I live alone so have to have things ready. I will be staying with my daughter for a bit, but eventually will be back here.

I worry about just changing the litter box, the germs, I will wear a face mask to do that so I don't breathe anything in.

Cheryl

apple

Nana, I've been reading your posts recently, and just wanted you to know how very easy it was to recover from my surgery.  I had a radical modified mastectomy.. a complete zipper from my breast bone into my armpit.  I shopped the next day, 'performed' 4 days later.. I was really fine.  The only thing that bothered me was the pesky drains... yuk.

I hope all goes well with yours.

NanaOfTen

Shawnee, thanks for the info. Mine will be a radical modified mastectomy ... a zipper is one way to phrase it.

I had my shoulder operated on after my auto accident. Before the surgery the anethestic guy said to me the only worse surgery is open heart surgery. "Now, you tell me", I said to him. I had a morphine pump in my shoulder, plus got morphine shots every 4 hours and a different pain shot the alternate 4 hours (every 2 hours I was given a pain med). I was not able to move my entire arm, shoulder area (the supra-something tendon in the shoulder was severed in half by the seat belt and they reconnected it. it was torn for over a year before the surgery so when they put it together, it pulled the arm, shoulder blades ... anything that connected to the area) and the pump was in my shoulder for about 5 days after I got home. I was also on vicadin. I didn't know just how much the pump helped with the pain until it was done and they removed the tube. within two hours, i wanted a shot of morphine so bad! one 7.5 vicadin was not enough! I had 4 c-sections, a tumor removed from my thigh (that tumor was 5 x 8.5 inches - not centimers) both knees operated on and the shoulder surgery was by far the most painful.

This surgery I am not so concerned with the pain. Though, since the accident I notice my pain threshold has been lowered, my doc says it's becasue I have everyday pain now, and my brain is just tired of it, so more pain is not welcomed at all. I am more concerened with the having cancer, the removing of parts of my body.

Before I signed on to write this, I was lying on the sofa, watching some tv, and daydreaming. How nice it would be for the phone to ring and my doc to tell me they relooked at my labs, a mistake, he said, it's benign, the surgery is canceled. 

Reality is, it's real, we have cancer, I have my surgery in two days, and I will handle it. I wonder how sleeping will be. I have trouble now because two bones touch my spinal cord (the whiplash was bad - my neurologist said if i was hit a little harder, my neck would be broken), for the past 6 years I have to prop a pillow under my neck so I don't suffocate - once I woke up paralized from the neck down until my head was moved and released the nerves that were pinched.  It's already hard to get comfy.

With tubes hanging out of me, I think I will be sneaking down my daughter's basement steps, her hubby has a lazyboy recliner down there, I hear that is a great way to sleep afterward. I think I will get me some more pillows to help prop me up where ever I want to be propped.

Thanks apple,

Cheryl

apple

 Cheryl.. hopefully you've come thru surgery with flying colors and are lying in relative comfort with your feet propped up.  I hope your pain meds work, that all goes well.

just thinking of you.