Starting chemo January 2009?
Comments
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My eyebrows and eyelashes have stayed, along with some of my hair. I just have stubble in most places on my head, it's not completely bald and smooth like I expected. But, I did go to pluck some of my eyebrows and they practically fell out when I pulled them with the tweezers, didn't hurt at all to pluck them, so I just leave them alone hoping they'll stay. I only have one more chemo to go so I am thinking they'll stay.....unless they wait and fall out after chemo is done which would be a real kick in the pants lol.
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Shocked and LadyJane--Yep. me too only 1/2 through this friday, then 10 more weekly Taxols... then radiation (not counted in the halfway mark). My dr. doesn't give Nuepogen or Nuelasta with the weekly Taxols, but I hope he will if my WBC drop as low as they did during AC.
Today I went to work for the whole day!!! Hard to get up early, but got the kids off the buses on time. I feel good, but that may just be nervous energy. I'm going to lay down now and I'm sure it will hit me. Spent today getting lots of hugs from green booger kids--tried to hex away the germs and was able to close my eyes at lunch. My 14 year old read my horoscope this am, something like Try something new today. Lightning won't hit you. It will help your mood.
True. Some teacher politics to deal with (like how to split my body into 3 different classes at the same time), but I know they all just want the best for the kids and consistency, which I can't promise to provide. Hope I can do it through the Taxols, but I don't know and won't promise.
My teacher angels keep on cooking for us, and I came how with a yummy noodle casserole to pop in the oven.
Hope everyone's tx goes well this week. I'm jealous a bit but mostly happy for y'all who are getting your last ones. CONGRATS!
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BerkeleyKim, I counted my weekly taxol's backwards, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8.... worked for me
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My chemo nurse told me at the very beginning that getting thru chemo tx is at times ultimately a mind game. She is so totally correct. I mean, the sides effects are really crappy and at times scary, but it is so important to stay focused on the fact that we are KICKING CANCER BUTT!!! so we don't have to anymore! As I type, I want to so be done and I am so close to saying NO MORE TREATMENT! Three nights ago I came so close to quitting tx. I had to take my temp, got close to going to the hospital and now am struggling with a spider bite that won't heal. Okay, ENOUGH. I am one day closer to being done. I am one late night up and alive and kicking. I will drag myself thru the day tomorrow and mark one more day done. That 's it!!!! ONE MORE DAY DONE! I am already planning a chemo free party and I am inviting as many people around and we are going to burn at least ONE chemo hat! Whew. that feels so good to vent. It's a mind game!?!!
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Looks like we all have been in the dumps. it is scary but we are kicking butt. after tomorrow i will be 3/8 finished.
my doc hasn't said if i will need neupogen or neulasta when i start AC i guess i need to ask
a big fire to burn chemo hats sound good, when i finish i may take your idea.
hope everyone has a great day
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Hello Jewels! My husband is taking me to Scotland in July or August (without the kids, they'll be with grandma) for 2 weeks, it's a celebration trip for getting through chemo and starting to get our lives back to normal. We've always wanted to go, and now that I have had cancer, I am no longer putting off things like that, I am only going to live once, and it better be to a very ripe old age, but either way, cancer has put things into perspective, and I don't want to come up with reasons not to do things that I would enjoy. We've done lots of hot, lay on the beach vacations, so we wanted to try something different. From what I recall, I think there is a few who will be taking a trip to celebrate surviving chemo.
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Princess-Your post made me laugh! Only I have an even better one for you. My DSO counts those #'s into yet a more manageable sequence. He used my 12 and broke it down as follows: 1-6, then count backward 6-1. Our "mind game" is that magic number 6! I am starting my 6 count backward next Friday! It does seem that no matter how we are "counting" this midpoint has more of a psychological edge to it. I'm sure a lot of it is due to the fact that we are really feeling beaten up just about now.
You Jewels ROCK! Loving the burning cancer cap! On the subject of trips, I just told my Dad that if this ever became terminal, I would not go out feeling this lousy. Said I'd run up all my charge cards and visit all the beautiful places I've ever wanted to see. Credit co's would basically HAVE to write it off- can't get blood from a stone. Then he said that with my luck, I would go to Lourdes and come back cured! Ouch!
Oh would I EVER love a trip, but might not be doable with my daughter's wedding in July. What could be better than being free of chemo and completely "present" for one of the most special days of my life?
Best wishes for keep on keeping on Jewels!
Ellen
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I have had the same experience with eyebrows and legs. The hair has not fallen out completely but it does not seem to be growing.
I wonder what the difference is between taxol and taxotere? I am still baffled by how the drs. decide who gets what.
I am feeling very nervous about tomorrow. New drug...unknown SEs. I've had so little really bad SEs with the AC - no nausea, vomitting, aches or pain from neulasta like most have had that I am sure I am going to react really bad to the new drug. Probably should not be projecting but I am.
Of course since I am still running a low grade 99.5 and feeling pretty lousy I may be worrying for nothing because the treatment may not even happen.
I am also an American Idol fan....Some good performances this week don't you think?
LOST - is also another of my favorites but it frustrates me to death with the twists and turns and bizzare plot.
I usually TIvo both and watch them the day after because I have gotten use to not having to watch commericals and I can not watch in real time anymore.
24 is another show I've become addicted to any other fans out there?
Well I will let you all know what happens tomorrow. I have taken another day off work today and feeling guilty so perhaps I am getting over my funk because while I was sitting high atop my pity pot I did not even feel guilt - I just didn't care.
Patti
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I am have not recieved 3 of my planned 6 T/C treatments. I will not say I am 1/2 through till I am at least 2 weeks into the cycle and hopefully past any serious side effects. The infusion room was less entertaining this time. No accupucture, massage or chatty nurse and I forgot to bring a DVD, but I chatted with another patient for awhile, listened to my IPod, skimmed magazines, enjoy the view of the charles river and ate the big lunch they supplied (soup, sandwhich, fruit salad, custard, potato chips, chocolet chip cookies and cheese. ) I was in infusion from around 11 till abit after 2, saw the nurse from around 10:30-11. I am feeling fine other than tired and a stitch in my side. I have taken some mirlax, a stool softener and a gas pill which will hopefully keep my system running smooth.
The organization that is giving me free housekeep managed to connect me with a family that could use the Omaha steak package I recieved as a gift but did wish to eat because it was not kosher. So now two families can feel the joy of giving and the joy of recieving. It feels nice to think a family dealing with the current hardships can have a meal or two of solid tasty protein while the mom deals with breast canser.
I spoke with four woman today who area all dealing with or have dealth harder stuff than I am. The woman in the infusion room was dealing with her third recurance of bc, she seemed to be handling it well. She was in good spirits and looked well. She has the same doctor I do and loves him. She followed him from one hospital to another and he said she is doing well and she believes him. The other three were in the cancer resource room for Wednsday tea (I managed a slice of apple pie and tea even after that big lunch). One woman is there all the time. She has been fighting her form of cancer for several years now and starts a new medicine tomorrow. She is not psyched but she is always very present and helpful to any newbies in the resource room and remembers people and creates connections. The next woman was resting there while her 4 year old was having either Chemo or Proton Radiation. She is living the nightmare I tell myself I am blessed not to be living anytime I start feeling sorry for myself. She too however seemed to be in good spirts. I think the resource room is such a warm and friendly place that it lifts people up. The third was a woman who had cancer 2 or 3 times as a child. She was upset that she had aged out of the support programs for kids and could not find a program for adults who had had cancer but no longer had it. She published a book that is supposed to be released very soon called Me, myself and I. It is a collection of plays, poems and I think short stories she has written. Me, myself and I is the play which she said is about herself and the two voices in her head dealing with the cancer. She would have a feeling, like - I just want to die. I don't care anymore. myself was the soft voice in her head begging her to hold on. I was the hard voice telling her to just let go. Who cares. It sounded very interesting. I plan to look for it.
DH and talked about bit tonight. He let me know that there were times during the last round when he felt as if I was not contributing anything to the household and since I was not complaining of being beat, which he could understand, it was making him very angry as he is killing himself trying to hold on to his job and pick up the slack at home. But he acknowleged, without me mentioning it that the last two weeks I was obviously making an effort to do more which meant to him that I was aware of the issue and he appreciated it. He wanted to let me know how he was feeling and that he will likely feel that way again. He let me know that it wil help if I tell him how I am feeling so he knows when there is a good excuse for not pitching in. I think I kind of knew how he was feeling and that was part of where my effort came from. Unfortunately I expect this 3 time is going to be tougher than the last 2 but we will see. Of course my parents also helped with the last two rounds. One they were here for week 1 and the second the took Gabe for week 2. They are in Florida till early April so we are on our own for all of round 3 and likely all of round 4.
I got packages from Sharshet - the group supporting Jewish Young woman with bc. They are very generous. The busy box for my son had 2 small knex sets, some kind of art project, a hardcover book and a game of jr scrabble, there was also an activity book and a book for me about dealing with a kid while dealing with cancer and a few pamphet. The Put your Best Face Forward package had some more make up, not as much as the Look Good Feel Better program but it does have stencils for helping draw in eye brows, that my be very handy. There as another package with lots of info about the group and many ACS pamphets for family members that I all ready have. There is one more box from some store I don't know but with New York and Beverly Hill locations. It is wrapped with a ribbon. I am saving it for a down day.
Someone posted that they were gettting housekeeping from Cleaning for a Reason. I looked them up and they have a provider in my town so I am going to put in an application. 4 session a month for 4 months goes alot farther than the 4 sessions in 4 months that the organization helping me out at the moment can do. And my nurse finally mailed in my treatment confirmation to Hope in Bloom so hopefully I will soon be planning a garden to be planted in the spring or summer. Something to help get through the end of this long cold winter.
Tomorrow I may go try on wigs again. I wore my blond with today and 2-3 people commented, after I said something that told them it was a wig that they had no idea and that it looked great. I still want one in my normal color though. I am also going to drop off my LOA from to try and return part time if a reasonable schedule can be worked out and my request for a disablity accommodation to get parking at work and an adjusted schedule. I have two weeks left a earned time, than I need to either get my LTD or the extended leave bank or be earning some money. DH's work was cut back by one day so things will be very tight if I am not bringing anything.
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Princess--thanks for the COUNT DOWN idea. I'm going to do it. Jess and Rsben--I wish we could all get together and burn our chemo hats in a big bon fire. I think I had a day like yours today.... Jilly--sounds so good to go on a trip! And so does a wedding, REKoz! LadyJane--can't remember if you're doing Taxol or Taxotere. I'm doing the Taxol (12, 11th), and have had much more energy than after AC. I think the 2 are similar, but you're right--how in the world do they pick a chemo. for us. Mine is just because I'm on the Avastin/Placebo trial (and now I just read that drugs like Avastin might make cells mutate more successfully-yikes. I'll have to ask my dr.
Yes--such a mind game. I feel like I'm coping with txs and ses, which I hate but I feel like I can do them, and that they are just something to contend with. More difficult is my fear of recurrence, and I have good days and bad days for that. There's the logical, live life for the day and enjoy part of me and then that damned worry wart sad part. Renrel--I feel like that woman you met--the me myself and I. I can really see that in myself.
Looked in the mirror at school today and my wig is RED. Everyone says it looks good--a couple teachers even were going to say they loved my new cut but then remembered...I thought it was mousey brown at the salon, and matched my hair--looked the same at home. Out in the world--another story! Well, maybe I'll just have to dye my new hair strawberry blond!
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LadyJane - Hang in there. Also, I think it's perfectly normal not to want to go to work. During my bad days, I don't want to do anything. I don't even want to talk. Hope the dr can help you better with your wb counts.
It took me longer to recover from my 3rd tx. I can't say I fully recovered. I am still exhausted and my taste buds are still not right, and I have my 4th and last treatment this Friday!
My hair did not completely go. It is very sparse, but I still have some hair on my head. My eyelashes are ok, but my eyebrows are thinning a little. My other body hair didn't go that much either. My nails! They were feeling funny after tx3, and now I noticed that the bottom part of my thumb nails are turning a little black!
Although I was a little tired, I went to Elton John and Billy Joel concert the other night. They kicked off their tour in Jacksonville FL. I had a good time. Got my spirits up.
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HelloJewels,
well I'm steroided up - waiting for the alarm to ring to go to TC#4 this morning. Decided not to worktomorrow-- the feel good day - did that last time and wished I'd taken the day for myself - this time I will...then ease into the FLS days. My DS will be home from college to keep me company this weekend - always a wonderful distraction - and Spring break is around the corner - it will be nice to have him here on my "feel good' days too.
In your posts - I sense we are all weary from the chemo journey--- I find it interesting how everyone copes so differently -- for me, in part, it's getting to work, being around my work "family" and pretending my life hasn't changed -- at least for the moments I can be distracted... until I walk down the hall and someone stops and lends me support and a hug and a kind word and say they are praying for me --- it is emotionally overwhelming sometimes. Reality comes crashing in --- in this wave of --- Wow, people sincerely care- about me- and prayers--- for me -- what a gift to be prayed for--- then I walk away with the holy crap / I have cancer -- then the "mind work" to put it all in perspective go to , this is a "good cancer" - odds are with me, this will be ok.... sometimes, I just have to stay in my office and avoid the wave.. I know the day will come, when this is all behind me, that it will all fade and I will miss it and will miss/need that support - maybe therapy, maybe a support group -- just seems like the time will come when I will need to have a safe place to "be a cancer patient' and for the rest of my life/relationships/interactions/roles just be who I need to be for them and me.
Yesterday my head was reeling in cancer -- I've mentioned I am a nursing director in a 25 bed community hospital - we currently have 5 hosptialized patients with really nasty cancers. It was hard to hear they stories. Then in the morning I hear a dear friend's dtr has died - a blood clot - she just finished chemo, got her port out and was ready to live again - she was 33. She had a very nasty rare cancer. Then the afternoon brings word of one of my staff nurse's husband - lung cancer finally won and he is gone. Im sure, if my situation was different, it likely wouldn;t effect me so strongly.
Here's the weird thing-- if my FLS days are manageble, I will go to funerals--- these folks all know of my bc - they will extend their support to me -- it's who they are - I feel guilty accepting support, when my situation is not a grim as the ones they have faced...I have a "good' cancer an "easy" cancer. Sometimes I would just like to be seen as "me', not "me, with cancer".
well, time to get ready. thanks for being my therapy... til I employ a professional
.Jan 2 Jewels - mimi07, eadsla, and AZStacy08 - this is our week. Hang in there.
Prayers to all of you ---
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I've been away for a while, but it seems like all the January Jewels are experiencing a lot of the same Tx fatigue (both physical & emotional!). I also have had a harder time recovering from TC #3 -- been logging way too much time in my bed (unfortunately not in a fun way!). Like Shocked, I also vacillate between thinking "only about 1 more month of chemo-related misery to go - YEAH," and thinking "CR&P! Another month of this stuff!!"
I've always sympathized for those who are working during their Tx, yet in a way, I wish I could've worked kept working b/c it would've been nice to have something to take my mind off all this (my independent contractor position ended at year's end, & they don't have any work to hand out as they are having trouble keeping their full-time employees busy). Guess the grass is always greener! Been looking for a job during my "good" weeks, but it's a scary job market out there!!
DH and I are trying to plan an "end of treatment" trip like you, JillyG, but with no employment in sight for me at the moment due to the recession, it may end up just being an overnight trip to a hotel downtown!! Wishing we could go biking through Switzerland (our dream trip), but I'm not really in good enough shape for that right now anyway LOL!!
Like so many of the JJs, I also am having trouble at times dealing with all the attention when I go out in public, which makes me feel guilty as I know people mean well, but sometimes I just want to blend in with the woodwork and don't have the emotional energy to discuss my situation with friends or well-meaning strangers! I went to an exercise class on Tues., and a fellow class member (who I'd never laid eyes on before) asked me how I was feeling (that bandana is a dead giveaway!!), and told me that I was an inspiration for being there & working out. I would've felt buoyed by that comment, except I was feeling self-conscious b/c I hate how I look in scarves/bandanas!! Like kt57, I know the day will come when I'll really miss all this support & encouragement, but these days I really wish I could just be invisible! I'm dreading going to my niece's baby shower on Sun., as I know I'll be seeing lots of people who will want to do the cancer discussion, when all I really want to talk about is my niece & the excitement surrounding her baby!
Sorry for the rant, but, as many of you have commented, you guys are my "therapy!" Wishing everyone a good rest of this week & weekend!!
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Maybe we could make up buttons that say something like - Thanks! But I really don't want to talk about it. Or "For today, I am not sick, so don't ask". Maybe that would hold some of the well wisher at bay and not force us to be rude and speak the words?
I have been worried that the 3rd TX will be worse and that I will not be able to do the stuff I need/want to do this weekend. Purim is Monday night so I need to back humantashen with my son and make up gifts of food for friends to be delivered on Tuesday. DS will probably want a costume to wear to services. He also has a Passover family event on Sunday -way early because they are making ceramic seder plates. And I want to take him swimming again. Have to keep the momentum up so he getts brave enough to swim without some sort of float. He hates getting water on his face to it is a tough battle. I also need to come up wiht a menu of easy meals for next week since I expect to be Tirrrrred and do the shopping to make those meals happen. DH can of course step up for some of this but I don;t want eerything falling on his back and I am usually not that bad for the first few days after treatment. Of course I am also handing in paperwork today to return to work part time so I have to talk about accommodations and what kind of a schedule really makes sense. I wanted to half days but if I don't get parking that will not make sense. Can I handle a full day of work and two hours on a train with a 5 yrs old?
Well time to get moving. DS is not even dressed and it is almost 10. I have a 11am wig appointment and no friends lined up to help and a 2pm nuelasta shot. Then I will stop bu work with all my paper work. I should also make a few p/c - make sure papers were recieved by LTD and Hope in Bloom and call my Reike lady for a suggestion as to when is the best time in cycle to try her service. I think I will try that instead of accupuncutre this cycle and see how it works. It will cost an additional $25 though. Too bad my hospital does not offer this treatment yet. That would have been a nice advantage at Dana Farber. They have just about every kind of complementary treatment over there.
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All I can say is just DITTO all of the above posts re: this emotional roller coaster, the public perception of us going through bc and our own private thoughts. The feelings of needing things from people whether in words or deeds at some times but not at others. How those "not now" times can cause a bigger funk through no fault of the giver. How we could NEVER explain to that person why we feel what we do at particular times. And the guilt we feel when we feel offended when one causes an emotional nosedive when their intentions were so good. And the guilt we feel when we are just flat down for the count while the others are shouldering our former "duties." As I've said to those close to me, having this bc is just ALWAYS present. I explain that it's not as if I constantly go into a pity pot and let it depress me. Actually, I rarely do. It's just that this experience is so very POWERFUL on every emotional level and we so often are ruled by the power of it all in ways that we ourselves don't expect.
I cannot WAIT to look back and say: "What a long strange trip it's been!"
Blessings, Ellen
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I have really enjoyed reading these posts this morning. Yesterday was not a happy day for me. I'm sure my blood counts crashed because I couldn't even walk across the room without the heart pounding, out of breath stuff. Somehow, just knowing others are dealing with similar circumstances is helpful---even though I feel bad that others are going through the same thing! Does that make sense?
My "Cleaning for a Reason" housecleaing service came yesterday. She was awesome! I had a very emotional reaction when she left--was like that the rest of the day. I know that because I felt so bad physically, the emotional stuff just kicked in.
The other day in a grocery store an older lady tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if she could pray for me---I said "Of course" thinking she meant she would going home to pray for me. Instead, she gently hugged me and whispered a short, sweet prayer in my ear. At the time it gave me comfort---that day, I had not worn my wig but had on a hat (I think it is called a bucket hat) that I got from the TLC catalog. She was not loud or intrusive but it was quick, very natural for her...
I don't think I would ever do that to anyone but I appreciated the gesture at the time.
I am working during this garbage....I usually take about 4-5 days off per treatment cycle (I am on a 3 week TAC treatment). I was granted 25 days from the Sick Leave Bank but I have to request, with the doctor's signature, every day I use. That means I have to really stay of top of the days and how they fall into the payroll schedule. If I don't get them in on time, they'll dock my pay and won't reimburse me.....I still have a few days left of my own leave that I have to exhaust first.
As some of the rest of you have experienced, this third treatment was the worst.....day 3 and 4 were horrible. Felt well enough to work days 5 and 6 and then yesterday-day 7 was another bad day. Today I'm feeling much better but still not able to do much. I'll have my blood counts checked again tomorrow.
Our Spring Break is next week and I hope to fly to see my mother. It will be the first time I've been on a plane since diagnosis/surgery/chemo......don't know what to expect. Have any of you flown since doing all this......? Any suggestions or hints?
Hope everyone has a good day.....
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Just a quick note to say thanks to all of you who have posted your thoughts over the past couple of days. It makes me feel less alone to know others are experiencing the same feelings on this rollercoaster.
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Hi all. I have been away from the forum for a long time. I only read some of the posts that popped up right when I logged in.
Jilly G - With AC I had a sensation that I thought was best described as having meat tenderizer through all my tissues. I thought it might be from the Neulasta but I just don't know. Everything was very sore close to the surface and sore to the touch, especially my face, head, neck, shoulders and back. That lasted about a day with each AC and was barely helped by Tylenol. I was immobile or taking hot baths on those days. The heat seemed to help oddly.
I had AC #4, 2 weeks ago tomorrow and I have had very low energy. I am also back to work full-time so I haven't done much that doesn't absolutely have to be done.
I am so anxious about starting Taxol tomorrow. I hope it's as easy as the nurses said it should be. I have heard so many varying reports from patients.
I am sick of struggling with all of this and at the same time, it already seems like the end of May will be here soon. I am sure I have my job to thank for that, as long as I don't get too bored and can stay engaged anyway. This is a busy time of year.
I'll second that Diane, everyone take good care.
Nancy
Nancy
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#3 does seem a bit tougher. I am very tired today and feeling the slightest bit of queasiness. Also some inching in my hands a bit earlier and some aching in my foot. But it was still a busy day for me. I was at the hospital and busy. I got my "good" wig. The $400 one that insurance will help with. I liked it at the hospital and now I am not as sure. I got several compliments on it including one from a 5 year old at DS school who thought it was my hair. DS immediately told her it was a wig and told me to take it off. When his last friend asked me to I did but this was in the hallway with everyone around. And he asked not her. She told him she had seem me lots of times and knew what I looked like. I told her that I had lost my hair and looked different. I asked her if she wanted to see. She shook her head no. DS was not happy. He wanted her to see "the truth."
I managed to get to the last 15 minutes of the knitting hour and learned the basic knit stitch. Then I asked a woman who was there who had mentioned before being lonely at home if she wanted to join me for lunch. She does not eat due to an eatting disorder but did join me. She is dealing with recurrant brain cancer and has already had three surguries. She is only 23.
Then I got my nuelasta shot. It was not bad. Barely hurt at all.
Then I went to the cancer resource room to post on my care page blog. I ran into a woman I met at my first support group. She was having a really hard time with her treament. Bad nurapathy and bone pain. She was using a walker and a cane. She looked better. She has finished radiation and physical therapy. She still has the walker but expects to master turns in a few months and give that up for just a cane.
Then I posted on my blog and talked to the support staff about my idea for an exchange party. Unfortunately hospital rule won't allow exchanges like that because they could be contaniments of some short. I need to check with the ACS.
Then I picked up DS. (See above story about wig.)
When I got home I had calls from the LTD company wanting to talk to me about my claim now that all my paperwork is finally in. A call from Cleaning for a Cure to talk about what they can do for me. A call from my nurse telling me my vitamin D count in low so I need to pick up a prescription for a mega suppliment - one pill a week for 4 weeks, then daily suppliments.
After all that I was too tired to think about dinner. i did an inventory and just gave that to DH who just got home. I think I am just resting the rest of tonight. As I am typing I am feeling a bit of nail bed pain in my fingers. UGH.
Good night JJs. I hope everyone has a fantastic Friday and a fullfilling weekend.
Renrel
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What is it about treatment #3.........It was to be my next to the last; but since "I'm tolerating the chemo so well", 2 more T/C added. I'm okay with the decision and have had minimal SE's this time but the fatigue has just kept rolling over me. Sitting at the hospital yesterday while my sister-in-law underwent bilateral mastectomy and hearing it was in the nodes just about did me in. Today, I'm as angry and down as I have been since all this started for real back in the Fall. Throughout all of this, I've been surrounded by love and support and have been constantly congratulated on my can-do, positive attitude. This past week when I've heard these on-going congrats, I've snapped back, "What other choice have I had!' Anyway, as Rekoz says, "strange trip".
My best to all of you.
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Hi all: So good to read all your posts--you have all REALLY helped me throught this.
Nancy (year of the Hat)--I'll be joining you at the Taxol bar tomorrow. My second of 12. I was so bombed out on the Benadryl and Adivan. Got the munchies and downed a bag of Fritos, which I haven't had in years--EXCELLENT!! Also, my chemo roommate's fam. brought McD's, which smelled SO GOOD that i would have ripped it away if I weren't tethered down by IV. I never had that experience with AC.
Liked the wig story Renel--at school today I ran into a guy from my teaching program who was visiting, and he was GUSHING about my new do and color--so I lifted a corner (not to freak out my students) to show off the condor chick do. So, we got into the cancer conversation, and he is a testicular cancer survivor and could relate to so much to how I'm feeling. Of course testicular c. is now near 100% curable, but he's still my inspiration.
Gotta put my feet up. Made 3 whole days at work and am so glad I did it.
Hugs to all--kim
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I've been pushing myself and working 24-32 hours a week all during chemo so far + being a mom to 5-yo and partner to DH. For the last month+ I've been sick with a chesty cough / chest ache and I finally hit-the-wall today. On the phone with my doctor she realized that I was at work and went, "Hmm, think that might be the problem??!" So, I'm going to go out on full medical leave for a time, maybe through radiation therapy. I feel guilty about leaving the job to others as I watch my work get farmed out to others, will let that guilt go now.
This whole process of treatment will have been seven months when chemo is done in a few weeks and there is still more to come.
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wow. i'm so glad i came here tonight. maybe misery loves company!?!? i CRIED today at my oncologist appt. And....it wasn't like we were discussing anything BAD. I'm just tired. My doc hugged me (she's so nice....like a friend) and I just started crying!
I posted my whole long story on my caring bridge, if anyone wants to read it. http://caringbridge.org/visit/lisamittleman
but, basically, done with cycle 4 of TC. have 2 to go. i have an infection in my belly stitches from my DIEP reconstruction. so....now have another small wound to pack. packed it too tightly this morning and hit wrong....and blood flowed and flowed....all over me, my bathroom floor, my cabinets. ugh. i guess this is what started my breakdown today. ugh.
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new topic....is anyone talking with their oncologist about what kind of hormone therapy they will take? i'll be put on tamoxifen after radiation. 2 options were presented to me today:
1) a trial called the "soft trial" anyone heard of it?
2) tamoxifen with zometa (a bone strengthener). been shown to reduce breast cancer recurrence by 36%!!!!
#2 sounds GREAT. if you want to google it, google ABCSG-12 or "gnant" is the name of the doctor who did the study.
i don't know enough about #1 yet. but if you want to google it, its study number is 1BCSG 24-02 (SOFT)
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Wow are we all feeling yucky or what?
Well, I'll share a joke a friend told me right after my hair started it's own "Spring Break."
"A woman who was losing her her woke one morning and had three hairs left on her head. She looked in the mirror and said, 'I think I'll braid it.'
The next day she woke and had two hairs left. She said, 'I'll think I'll part it in the middle.'
The third day she woke and had one hair on her head. She said, 'Today I'll wear a pony tail.'
Fourth day there were no hairs and she looked in the mirror and said, 'Wow, I'm glad I don't have to mess with that anymore.' "
At the time it was funny, I hope it brings a smile to someone's face today!
I'm going to try to go to work for a few hours today. Hopefully, it will lift my spirits. I'm tired of staying at home and being alone.....
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Hi everyone. I'm leaving soon for #4 A/C. I just hope it doesn't put me under like this last one. I'm so tired of being tired. AllI want to do is sleep. At least I'll be able to recoup for 3 weeks then I start taxotere for 4 treatments.
Bevr-loved the joke. It made my day. Its funny how we can laugh about our hair or should I say no hair? I don't worry about mine much. I don't miss washing my hair. It was so thick. I just wonder how it will grow back.
I hope everyone has a good weekend. Prayers to all of you. I'm also praying for myself after the neulasta shot I'll get on Sunday.
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BevR LOL!!!!!! Thanks you!
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Bev R LOL!!!!! Thank you!!!
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Went to the ready care for a cut/bite/scratch/owie that wouldn't heal and got antibiotics. So , now I am on Keflex. It was on its way toward healing, but too slowly for me and the doc. BevR--thanks for the joke. I like it!!!!! I am two weeks away from the dreded taxotere. Gosh, I hope I can tolerate the ses. I also talked to the doctors about my trip to Tennessee next week. They don't want me to fly, but if I do, they said to wear a mask on the plane. plus, the usual "Wash your hands"........Hugs to all
Jess
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lisalisa - my second opinion med onc at UCSF has recommended zometa to me after radiation, for six months. my med onc in reno is adamantly against it. i've done a LOT of research, talked to many different BC specialists about it and have decided against it because of the potential "jaw rot" side effect. i know three women who got it from zometa, and it's horrendous. my reno med onc said six of his patients have developed jaw rot. that was enough for me. i was told i've already gotten my chance of recurrence down to 2% by having a bilateral mastectomy, dose dense chemo, and 36 radiation treatments. so i'm passing on zometa.
will start taxol on wednesday. i know my RBC count is very low right now. can barely walk across the room without heart pounding, extreme exhaustion. have bloodwork on tuesday.
taxol vs. taxotere: here's a good link discussing these two drugs:
http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/c/78/10887/ac-act-tac/
From that article:
>>One more note: Be aware that Taxotere, which is another form of Taxol, comes with the potential for more side effects than Taxol. With Taxotere, you're more likely to feel some pretty significant weakness; if you do, rest! And you're also more susceptible to infection, due to low white blood cell count. Since you've already been through AC, you know the routine; stay away from crowds, wash your hands... make believe it's flu season. Because for you-it is. >>
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