Try for Alimony Extension While Trying to Get Disability?

nancyu

My divorce was March 6, 2007.  I was given 3 years of temporary/rehabilitative alimony to get back to work and up to my former position and salary.

After 4 moves in 3 states, and 4 Motion requests were the first year - trying to get him off my back, and trying to get one very important sentence in my agreement honored and enforced, "The wife shall be held harmess for  ..." (what his not honoring paying the mortgage, etc.) while I was out of state taking care of my dad for 3 months and burying him 12/18/05.  My third funeral to take care of that year.

I was diagnosed on 4/26/07.  I have been dealing with Police, the Prosecutor's Office, the creditors, doctor's, disability, NJ Victim's Comp.  I came up here for what was to be 6 months near my mom.  It's an economically depressed area.  If I earn $1, I would loose my Medicaid.   I have a Master's in Publlic Administration - I'm familiar with "overqualified" and that was before the market tanked.  I can't even do what I used to do physically and mentally.  Every once in a while I try another angle. 

I am very depressed and am having what I assume to be "late effects" that exhaust me and are painful.  Guess you can say that I am really beaten down right now. I don't want to deal with that Judge or the legal system if the result will be the same - futile.  I don't know if I want my ex to know that I have been sick because I'm not in the mood to have him start busting my chops again.  I won't tell you what he did to me during the last two years of a long term marriage - new, and completely unaccetable behaviors.  He should be in jail.  I just wanted him to be ordered to get help and for the PD/PO to acknowledge what he did.

He has a large income, his meteroric rise in position and salary came from my support.  We had a deal after I lost my last job -- I temped part of the year and and spent the warm part being the General Contractor, laborer, landscaper, etc. on bring our house up to Code (we opened Pandora's Box in April 2001.  It was supposed to be 4 months, $10,000.  It was almost done when I filed, 4 years and $100,000+ later), only to have him be totally uncoorperative and selling the house way under market. 

People keep telling me to take him back to court for extended alimony until the disability hearing is done.  I'd even take less per month and/or as a loan.  Has anyone been in this position?  I'm not a gold-digger.  I really don't want to stir things up.  But I have one more big surgery in February.  I'll be cleared at the end of the moonth -- right when my alimony ends.  I have nothing left to sell or nobody that can help me financially.

Has anyone been in this position or know someone who was?  What was the outcome?  I can't afford a lawyer, and am overlimit for legal assistance.

Nancy

Nancy

iodine

Sorry I cannot help, but my heart goes out to you.

hooptiedoo

While I haven't been through your exact situation, I do know what it's like to wait for a disability hearing. I was diagnosed in 2003, and just as I finished treatment in 2004, my husband became permanently disabled. It took three long years just to get a hearing. Even though I worked two jobs, we ended up in bankruptcy to save our house. Yes, try to get an alimony extension, because if you're looking to disability to help you out, it won't happen. Our attorney told us when my husband first applied for disability that it would be at least three years before he got it, and she was right. We've known some people who've waited five years, and still others who died while still waiting. After what your husband has done to you, you deserve that extension.

Anonymous

Take that word "golddigger" out of your vocabulary RIGHT NOW, young lady! Go for it. You have been through a tough time and deserve more help to get back. If he is OK financially, who better to support you now that you need it? How do you spell quid pro quo?