Holding cyber-hands for the holidays club

Anonymous

Hi sisters. 

We have been talking in our little November 2005 chemo group about the need for some hand-holding this holiday season.  

I am coming up on the anniversary of my Dad's death.  It will be one year on the 15th.  If any of you remember, it was a hellacious experience and totally unexpected.  This is going to be a really emotional Thanksgiving especially, because it was due to my trying to invite my Dad over for dinner that we discovered that he had the end stage of cirrhosis.  

I need some hands to hold me. 

Some of our other sisters (I'll wait for them to come and share) have struggles....sick mom, anniversary of mom's death, possible job loss.....

 They need some hands to hold as well. 

Does anyone want to join the club and share their needs for the holiday season?  It just seems that things are out of control for many of us. 

I promise to hold your hands and hope you can hold mine. 

Love and prayers, Deb

Bugs

This will be a rough holiday season.  A very dear friend of mine died on Sunday morning from the effects of years of alcoholism.  Same age as me and we grew up living next door to each other.  I consider her 20 year old daughter my daughter. 

Bugs

LisaSDCA

Deb-

I can do some good hand-holding from afar. I always miss my sister, especially, at the holidays. And it's been years, but my father died prematurely from cancer, too. Their birthdays were Dec. 1st and Dec. 23 - so the whole month was a celebration in my family.

Loss of a loved one is so difficult. You've got to remember the bittersweet along with the tragedy. I know it's fresh for you, and you'll have tears understandably. We're here for you, hon.

Lisa

Anonymous

Bugs,

It's just impossible to fathom losing somebody to the internal effects of alcoholism, isn't it?  That is a disease that you truly don't see what is happening on the inside until it is way too late.  My Dad's cirrhosis was due to a lifetime of alcohol consumption.  When his best friend from the Marines called to offer condolences last year, he told me with a hint of pride in his voice, "I gave your father his first taste of alcohol."  He had no idea that is what killed my Dad, but hearing those words made me want to claw that man's face through the phone. 

Is your friend's daughter nearby?  Hopefully you can share some time and memories with each other. 

Lisa, you are just a dear woman.  You got a crap-load of crap-news and you are offering your hand.  My hand goes out to you, too! 

I can't imagine the entire month of December having been all celebrations!  How cool that must have been when you were younger!  My mom (died from cancer at the age of 43) and I shared a birthday (July 4th).  That day was the BEST when I was younger because it felt like the entire world was in a celebratory mood just like we were.  There was always something special to do, and lots of people around to join the fun. 

I don't know why the first holiday just sucks so badly!  I guess essentially the first holiday was last year, but we literally buried my father then had turkey a few days later. 

Maybe we can share our goofy memories here!  Like how my Dad used to decorate a Strawberry Shortcake high chair (my toy when I was little) for our kitty and feed her Thanksgiving turkey as though she were a human.  He loved that cat. 

Or when he caught on that I was pregnant on Christmas of 2004 and looked at me with amazement, literally whispering, "You're pregnant?"  He cried tears of pride.  Of course, he took us out and had a beer, but that's besides the point!!!!! 

yellowrose

Dear Deb, Bugs, and Others,

When I read your post, I immediately remembered a poem that helps me get through the rough places.  I think that I originally found it on these boards but am not sure.  All I know is that it continues to encourage me.

Keep Walking... By Barbara Aldrich

Here we stand together,

Dressed in our pain,

Covered with scars

From wounds we did not ask for

Or deserve.

So what now?

We can't go back and relive our lives.

We can't take back the innocence we lost

Or make the sadness we felt into happiness.

But we can go on from here,

So let us start.

Stretch out your hand to mine,

Close your eyes

And slowly let the pain slip away.

Let go of the sadness;

It belongs to yesterday,

And let's walk.

The earth is firm beneath our feet.

The sun is warm on our face.

Heavenly Father sees our struggle,

Smiles at our effort,

And sends us strength.

My friends, we can't stay, looking back,

Lest we falter.

We must face forward,

Eyes wide open,

And keep on walking.

Hold tight and don't let go;

You aren't walking alone,

And neither am I.

So Deb, Bugs and my other sisters, here's my hand...together we are all stonger.

Anonymous

That was absolutely perfect.  ABSOLUTELY. 

Thank you, dear sister! 

nowheregirl

To those in pain, sorrow or grief, physically I am thousands miles away but my thoughts are and will be always with you.

            

                      

{{{hugs}}}

Fumi

Anonymous

Fumi,

Another beautiful one.  Thank you, dear friend and sister.