Need a Friend about Surgical Menopause

ostate2003

[Please excuse the spelling]

I don't have cancer but my whole ordeal started with my PCP having concern that I had ovairan cancer due to pain and other symptoms as well as my mother's breast cancer history.  Long story short, I was just released a week ago from being admitted to hospital through the ER and stayed 11 days to undergo various tests and be bounced back and forth between specialists (Gen Surgeon, Urologist and OB/Gyn).  They found a cyst and decided they would do a LAP to figure out what was causing my problems - but it turned out to be a 4 hour surgery.  They took my tubes and ovaries because they were damaged, I had "infected" adhesions that also damaged my colon, so after they removed the scar tissue (from my partial hyst 10 years ago) they had to  repair my colon. 

Well I'm home now and needless to say - I'm "Crashing" into menopause.  I don't have a lot of friends so I'm just looking for folks to talk to about what I'm going through to get some advise and sensability - since I'm an emotional basketcase.  I'm on my second vidella (sp?) dot patch at .05 but am horribly depressed, anxious and overwhelmed.  I can't sleep due to the night sweats (let me just say I'm sorry to every woman I've ever dismissed by suggesting a fan.....) and just the all around general discomfort.  I know I'm lucky and would like to extend my thoughts and prayers to everyone here that is dealing with cancer on top of the surgical menopause.  I just hope someone here can help me find some chatrooms or offer some advise on websites for treatment, etc.   Thank you for your time.

lisettemac

Hi Ostate -- I know what you mean about "crashing" into menopause.  I had an ooph in April because my breast cancer was estrogen receptor positive (well, that and I had a huge endometriosis that was also previously dx as potentially malignant -- gee, we have a lot in common!).  I remember calling my OB/GYN about a week after the surgery feeling the same way you do -- hot flashes all the time, sleepless nights, emotional basketcase.  He told me that the estrogen levels plummet about 3-5 days after the surgery and that's why the symptoms come on so strongly.  Here I am, 6 mos later and I still have some hot flashes (although not nearly as many), and some sleepless nights, but I also take Arimidex which also reduces estrogen.  All this is to say, hang in there.  It absolutely will get better.  My OB/GYN reminded me that some women have perimenopause for up to 10 years!!

Since you do not have a bc dx, I'm wondering if you can take some HRT?  Effexor is an anti-depressant that is said to be very effective at curbin hot flashes, too.  Other choices are herbal remedies, but I'd consult your dr.

Anyway, just want to let you know you aren't alone.  Feel well.

lisettemac

P.S.  As for a website/community that might be helpful on this issue,  have you checked out hystersisters?

ostate2003

lisettemac -

Thank you so much for your words of encourgement.  I think this dot/patch thing they have me wearing is HRT - but I'm going to call my OB/Gyn on Monday to see if there is anything else they can do.  I would much rather use the natural supplements than the man made HRT's - as I am still concerned about what the years will bring me due to my family history.  However, I must say that my true goal is just finding something with the least amount of side effects that will help me stop feeling this way.  I've always had some type of female/hormonal issues, which is why I had a partial hyst at the age of 25.  Lucklly I have 2 wonderful boys of my own and my 2nd husband has a daughter he has to raise all by himself - so I didn't miss out on that aspect. So I'm used to the issues....but at a MUCH LESSER degree.  It's funny, I was diagnosed as just starting to go through perimenopause about 2 years ago - but WOW, nothing compared to this. 

Thankfully my current husband (as well as my ex and his wife) have all been really great about all this.  Again, I can't complain to much - but it's differnt trying to talk about all this crazy stuff with people who think the same way I USED TO...and bottom line, just don't understand the impact. 

Again, my thoughts go out to you and I wish you well.  I will check out the hystersisters website - thanks so much for just your reply. 

Anonymous

ostate--I was also going to mention the hystersisters website.  I had a total hysterectomy 3.5 years ago due to large ruptured ovarian cysts. The first year was rough, especially the hot flashes--I still have them but they are more manageable now--I also have insomnia (I take melatonin for that) and achiness (I use ibuprophen as needed).  I finished my 5 years of tamoxifen about 2 weeks ago.  My SEs from tamox were very mild before my surgery,  so my oncologist feel that any SEs I have now are more related to the loss of estrogen from having no ovaries. I can't take any HRT due to family history of bc (my mom ), I don't use Effexor, but many say it is very effective in helping with the hot flashes.

Anne

Curlylocks

 I am 44 and had my ovaries removed in May due to estrogen positive bc as well.

I dealt with the hotflashes and nightsweats, mood swings for almost 2 1/2 years until I said no more and my oncologist prescribed effexor (75 mg) which is a lower dose anti depressant.  It also worked wonders for the mood swings.  I had relief of the hotflashes by about 90% within 3 days of starting the medication.

I would stay away from any HRT, especially due to your family history.  Studies have shown that HRT increases the risk of bc by 50%!

It is not fun being slammed into menopause, men just dont know how lucky they are....

I hope you get relief soon!

Michele 

ostate2003

 awb and Curlylocks -

Thank you both for your replies.  I've been reading a lot over the last couple days and effexor has been mentioned quite a bit.  My husband was on this medicine several years ago when he was facing a 2 level fusion for his back problems at the age of 40.  He had complained about some "withdrawal type symptoms" so he quit taking it after a couple months.  But at this point, I'm ready to try anything so I will discuss with doc on Monday.  I'm scheduled off work for another 5 weeks and I really need to get my emotions under control due to my positon and how I have to function.  My boss has been great, but I don't want to come back and be an emotional basket case for an undetermined amount of time.

I also hate that my boys are having a hard time with this.  My two boys 14 and 15 don't want to spend time with me except for a couple of hours at a time (I share joint custody and they usually split the week between the two families).   My husband says it's probably better because I need my rest and of course I'm crying all the time and most of the I don't know why.  I just went online to buy several books from Amazon and got some add'l websites, hopefully reading as much as I can about this and hearing other's stories will help. 

As I've been saying, my thoughts are with everyone that has gone through this and espically those who have the additional complications.  Thank you for reaching out - being able to connect with folks here has been VERY helpful and appreciated! 

PinkyLee

ostate2003

I had surgery induced menopause at 39.  I am now 52. 

The first few months are going to be the worst.  At the time, I had a 13  year old daughter and life was dramatic for both of us.  I cried a lot and wanted to stay in bed.  The doctor's had insisted that I wasn't experiencing meno because they had cut one ovary out of the mass.  In the end, that ovary never worked.

I could never take HRT because of my family history. 

I would suggest that you go to the health food store and get some women help teas.  These help me a lot.  Also, try sleeping with at least one foot out of the cover.  This tended to decrease night sweats abnd keep a fan and cold drink on hand. 

It will seem like if never going to get better, but as time goes on it will.  Don't be afraid to ask for some happy pills if you need them. 

It took years for my daughter and I to reconnect after this because no one was there to help.  I was too proud to ask for help or pills.  Don't let pride keep you from reaching out to your boys.  Explain to them as best you can what you are experiencing.  In the long run this will help your relationship.

Good luck

ostate2003

PinkyLee -

Thanks for your insight.  They did come over today for a little bit and that has helped me.  The strangest thing happened when we had my husbands kids here, my mother and my boys - I got overly anxious and started feeling sick and had to get away from everyone.  Again, I'm so grateful to my husband for being there (regardless of how much he understands)....he just talks to everyone telling them I'm having a hard time and then listens to me cry/babble (although he does have the occassional eye roll). 

I've been trying to find everything I can about alternatives to HRT so when I talk to my doc's office tomorrow I can ask specific questions.  Truth be know, the dot/patch they have me on hasn't really helped and this is the 3rd one.....so I'm ready to move on to something else.  I did look up more on the effexor and don't want to take that avenue.  Too much is said about loosing libido and that too me would be worse than all the symptoms put together.  My husband and I went without having a physical relationship for almost a year because of his back and it caused such a strain between us.  I don't think you can feel that intimate connection with someone when you are not able to intimate.  I do take something at night that has at least helped me get some sleep(Trazodone).  I've only been taking about 1/2 a dose so maybe I'll take the full 300 mg tonight and see how things go. 

During my partial hyst my boys were very young and my ex was totally not there (physically or emotionally).  I had some of the same issues for the 1st couple weeks and luckily my doc was supportive and told me that even though I still had my overies - my body and hormens were still going to go through shock.  My ex was not a bad guy - he just can't handle much.  So my doctor was actually there for me more than he was.  But as hard as that was, compared to what you had to endure - I'm grateful. 

It's too bad that when it comes to "women issues" the general consensus is it's just us being emotional and not handling things well.  A lot of strides have been made - thankfully - but we still have so far to go.  For me, posting here has been so beneficial.  Thanks for sharing.  My thoughts are with you regarding your daughter and all other challenges you have to face. 

ernursen

I had a total hysterectomy 2 years ago due to endometriosis and extreme pain, multiple cysts and many abnormal paps.  I tried not using HRT, but the symptoms I was having were terrible.  I tried the pills, patches but the only thing that worked was estradiol injections and I had to fight to get them because it is "old school."  I only knew about them cause a close friend of mine used them and we are both nurses so she gave me my first injection and I felt 100% better in a day.  The shots are given every 4-6 weeks.  Right now though, I am going through hell due to a abnormal mammogram so I am questioning the HRT and I don't think I will take any from today on out (just my personal thoughts on it, I have no idea if that is what is causing my problem.  I can only hope for a b9 biopsy)  But I do agree with above posts regarding hystersisters web site.  I found it very helpful.  Good luck and may God Bless.