Getting married during chemo

mela4409

So I posted this on the wrong board....I meant to post on here!

I am currently recovering from bilateral mastectomy/reconstructive surgery, and going through fertility treatment so that I may be able to have children later in life.  I am waiting to start my Chemo, which should start in about 3 weeks.  Before all of this started, my fiance and I have set our wedding for April 4, 2009.  We have almost everything done, and then BAM-"You have cancer."  I'm only 24---so much for the dream wedding!  I am trying to decide if I should move my wedding back, hope my Chemo treatments are done before April, or have the wedding between treatments.  We also had planned to leave for Mexico on April 7.  I know that I will know more once I meet with my oncologist on Wednesday, but I was wondering if anyone out there had any advice for me. I know I will have to wear a wig either way on the wedding day, but I don't care much about that.  My main focus right now is beating this, but I can't help but want to have a great wedding day as well.  HELP!

BethNY

If you go to www.youngsurvival.org there are a whole group of girls that have ben married during chemo-- wig and all.

If you start chemo in 3 weeks You'd be done with chemo LONG before April, and I'm guessing since you had no nodes and the mastectomy you don't need rads, so you'll have plenty of time to recoup before the wedding.

If everything is already planned, deposits and all I would move fwd with the wedding as planned!!!!

Also, don't worry about having kids-- that will happen.  The one and only good thing being dx so young, is that even if chemo stops your periods for a time, they come back when treatments end. I was dx at 26, and my periods returned 6 weeks after chemo ended.  Now at 31, they have come every 28 days since, and I am as fertile as the next girl.

Congrats on your wedding!!! Don't let this stupid piece of crap cancer take away from your life plans!!!!!!!

lisettemac

I would wait and see what your onc says.  As Beth says, it is very likely that you will be done with the chemo before April.  Don't know what other treatment you have planned.  You may decide if you are still in the middle of some treatment to postpone the honeymoon if you think you might be too fatigued for it.  But again, I'd see what the doc says about scheduling.  But no way I'd postpone the wedding.  You found a good guy -- don't put off starting your life together!!

Best wishes to you!!

Anonymous

I second what Beth said on the stupid piece of crap cancer statement. 

However, I will say that I did not have any node involvement, and still had rads.  Nonetheless, rads was a total breeze for me in comparison to chemo. 

You really should be well recovered by then.  Chemo sucks, there is no denying it.  However, it is nothing like television and movies portray it to be (usually).  It is VERY doable.  I went through chemo with a 15 month old boy.  Can you imagine?  I can hardly keep up with him nowadays, and I am 2 years post-chemo, 3 years post dx. 

So, what I am saying is that you should NOT let cancer get in the way of marrying the love of your life. 

PS-I got married 2 or 3 weeks after having a laparotomy of the right ovary.  They removed a tumor the size of an orange out of my ovary, and I still had my special day.  You will, too. 

mela4409

So I talked to my oncologist today and I will be finishing up Chemo (if all goes well) right at the end of March.  She said to keep the wedding and have my day as normal!  We may have to move the honeymoon...she doesn't know if I should go to Mexico right after Chemo, but we will see as the months go on.  I should be starting Chemo in a few weeks!  I'm very nervous, but ready to get it started and over with.  Thanks for the help girls!

BethNY

I went away ten days after finishing chemo-- yes, my counts were low, but it was an important trip.  When I got back I got a shot of aranesp (to boost my reds) and then a few days later was celebrating again in Atlantic City...

It take about 4 weeks for your counts bounce back after chemo.Are you HER2+?

mela4409

That's good to hear.  I'm really hoping that I can still go.  My path report says that I'm HER2 - I'm glad we bought insurance for our trip!  Something this summer was telling me that it was a good idea.