I don't want to be a "survivor"

guitarGrl

Is it just me, or do other people not like that term? To me, by calling yourself a "survivor" you are defining yourself by the disease. I want to go back to being a person who just happened to have a really sucky year.

susan 

roseg

Agreed.

Be sure you take the pink ribbon magnet off your car!  

NoH8

I always say it's better than the alternative. If you don't like the term, don't use it. Just think of 2008 as the year you had cancer or don't think of it. If people use the term, say you prefer them not to, though don't begrudge those of use who prefer to use the term.

abbadoodles

Unfortunately, once (many if not most) people know about your diagnosis, they tend to think of you in terms of cancer.  The only way to get around that is to not discuss your medical history with anyone that has no need to know. 

"Survivor" is one of those media concoctions and can be used to describe everyone who has had any form of cancer and who is still alive.  It is really not descriptive of the state of your health.

Harley44

Madalyn,

I agree... it made me feel less alone to see the pink ribbon.  I would like to help others who are  newly dx'd, so I have joined Reach to Recovery as a volunteer.  My training is on Nov. 1st.

It's nice to be 'moving past cancer'.

abbadoodles

And, let's all try to remember to frequent these boards to help answer questions of the newly diagnosed to to provide general support.  I've been so helped here and I am really fond of the ladies in general and a few in particular.

Anonymous

I did a making strides  walk on Sat--there were over 13,000 people walking raising money for bc---a big sea of pink--hats, clothes, balloons, even men and teenage boys wearing pink--I thought it was fantastic to see such support for a cause.  My team raised nearly $2200 and the event overall raised over 1 million for bc

Anne

Margerie

Susan,

I think I get it.  Sometimes I don't want to be a cancer survivor, cancer lady, lady who had cancer, cancer patient, breast cancer patient....... I just want to be me.

KAK

I saw a great statement on another site:  I had breast cancer -- it didn't have me!

Loved that!

Kathi

guitarGrl

Oh Kathi - I love that statement. That is way better than being a "survivor."

susan

farila_1966

I just happened to complete my 42 years (born between october 23/24 exactly at midnight) and I consider myself a survivor .. not just of BC but many other hurdles.  I had BC 12 years ago and I have moved beyond being a cancer patient, but the cancer survivor thing sort of has not been erased totally. I don't mind it much though.

 I will sit down and think over it now that you have brought it up here..

otter

guitarGrl, I know what you mean.  Actually, I don't mind so much when I'm referred to as "a survivor" (without the BC designation), because, as Madalyn said, we're all survivors of something.  Being "a survivor" makes me feel strong.

OTOH, I do not like being called "a BC survivor" or "a survivor of BC."  It's just a feeling I have, but it does seem to stigmatize me.  I am grateful that my dx and tx have allowed me to be associated with the wonderful women on this website.   I do feel proud that I "survived" an unexpected ultrasound-guided core biopsy after having a BIRADS 2 mammogram; I "survived" hearing the words, "I'm afraid it's cancer"; I "survived" a modified radical mastectomy; and I "survived" 4 rounds of chemotherapy.  More recently, I "survived" a mild (hopefully transient) bout of lymphedema in my at-risk arm.  But, that's because I am a survivor.

One of my close relatives had a mild heart attack a few years ago, and was tx'd with angioplasty and a stent.  I've never heard anyone refer to her as a "heart attack survivor," as if it was some badge she was supposed to wear.  Another of my relatives is struggling with Alzheimer's disease.  Does that give everyone permission to pat him on the back and call him an "Alzheimer's disease survivor"?

<sigh> 

otter 

mke

I don't like survivor either. If I have to think in labels at all I prefer to think of myself as a BC experiencer. That works for me. I've had a lot of experiences in my life - BC is just one.

tami48

I don't mind being a labeled a "survivor".  My sister didn't survive breast cancer, it hurts when I think of what she went through---5 years of hell.  So, I feel lucky to be a Survivor and I don't mind the word survivor.

SharonS

BC experiencer....I like that one.....it seems like I continue to experience things b/c of this diagnosis...some bad - numb arm, swollen arm, hot flashes, sore joints, night sweats - but did you read the article about those last three that shows if you have those symptoms on tamox...that might be a good thing?  Still trying to tell myself this is good when I am sweating like crazy

of course lots of good b/c of this experience also...I truly feel I have new eyes and am a different person...not so uptight and keep in mind what is really important...and also this experience has been less difficult b/c of all the great people on these threads

bluewillow

Susan, I understand perfectly what you're saying.  I too have mixed feelings about the term "survivor". (but like Obama said, it's better than the alternative!)  All you ladies gave the greatest responses here!  Otter, like you, I've never heard the term "heart attack survivor", or "diabetes survivor", etc.-- tho I'm glad for those who are!  I do know now at this point, I feel like I want to help others by what I have experienced, so those who are going through the awful treatment times will know that they too will "survive" and there is life after treatment.  By the way, Harley, good for you on being a RFR volunteer!  Tina, I agree that we should hang around this site for those who need us! Farila, you are such a wonderful inspiration to us all! 

Although pink has always been my least favorite color, right after I was diagnosed, I absolutely despised anything with that damn pink ribbon on it-- and I mean anything and everything.  Now, I don't feel that strongly. I even have a pink magnet on my office door that says "early detection saves lives", and that is my mantra.  I do hope when people buy pink stuff, the sales will benefit somehow in finding a cure and better treatment.  And sometimes I think the media makes it harder on us trying to move on.

Hugs to all!

Mary Jo