Adoption after/during cancer

cancerkicker

Hi.  I am 36 years old and just learned that my bc has mets to my lung lining after 8 years from my original diagnosis.  My treatment this time around was a hysterectomy as I am ER+.  I was fortunate to have had one biological child in the 8 years I was cancer free.  However, my husband and I would like to have another child so we began looking into adoption.  I never realized how difficult it is to adopt a child after a cancer diagnosis - almost impossible if you have a current case of cancer.  You need to have a doctor's letter that says you are cancer free and have a "normal life expectancy."   I can understand the reasons why agencies would not accept you into their program but it is so unfair.  Single parents can adopt so why can we?  And no one knows how long you are going to be on this earth any way - you could get hit by a car tomorrow.  I guess I am wondering if I am really off base in even wanting to try to have another child.  It's frustrating that someone besides God can tell me that I am qualified to be a parent or not - when I know I am a great parent already.  Has anybody else had any experience with this type of situation?  Or have any advice for me on how to get a handle on this?  It is a huge emotional roller coaster. 

aquariusgi

It's funny I came across your posting because I feel that I have no choice but to begin hormone treatment although my doctors want me to and say I can wait until I've decided I'm done with my family planning. I'm a divorced (currently single), mother of one 4 year old, 30 year old woman. I had just started having hope again, that I would meet someone and maybe have another kid just before my diagnosis. Now all of a sudden I'm having that option/hope taken away from me. I'm finding it hard to decide what I'd like to do. As much as I would like another child I also feel like it would be selfish. I'm already worried about being around for my daughter. I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was 8 years old. I know how it feels to grow up without a daughter. I've always lived my life as if I was trying to beat the BC clock just so I could be arounds for my future kids. The clock finally caught up with me. Like you, I've also considered that breast cancer or not you'll never know when you'll die. So, why not have another. I don't know if this helped at all...your situation is a little different. The adoption agencies should be focusing on the fact that you are married. There would be another parent left to raise the child. That would be the case regardless of how one was to pass. Thank you for reminding me that I can always adopt.