About-to-Start-Hormones Group

elisabeth

Hi Pattyk.  I just wanted to let you know that I feel exactly the same way - I am so tired of bc, the worry, the drugs, etc., etc., etc.  I can't seem to get out of this bad, bad feeling.

E 

Makratz

PattyK,

I am sick of the black cloud too.  My docs told me the same thing  about being so treatable.  I just don't want to have to go though this again, once was enough.  My doc also gave me antianxiety meds to help me sleep at night.  I'm normally a worrier, and now it's just constant.  I hate this too!  Hang in there.

pattyk

It helps to know I'm not alone in these feelings.  I hope and pray each day for all of us....that teatment will work and we can be our "old" healthy selves again.

I don't know what I'd do without all of you.

mzmiller99

pattyk - It's one thing to have that fear of recurrence tucked in the back of your brain and another to have it slap you in the face. 

Yeah, we've all been through it and yeah, I suppose it shouldn't spaz us out. 

 However, because we are just beginning to relax - just a teeny bit - the mere mention of recurrence  brings us back to the awful question of our mortality. 

Sorry to be so morsoe, but I think we should be able to mourn the loss of our innocence, and not apologize for it. 

Remember how we all encouraged each other to rant and rave when we first started this crap?  Well, I think we should allow ourselves to do some of that when we have our next scare.

 Eat a pound of dark chocolate and then go into "can do" mode!  We know we can, we just hope we don't have to.

Hugs and thoughts -

Susan

KAK

Hugs to all.  Just a quickie again.  Still pooped from the concussion.  Did I tell you all that I got a concussion last week from a fall on black ice?  I can't remember jack, I can't remember who I've said what to, I forget where I'm going in the middle of going there.  It's like cancer brain cubed (Susan, read your post about forgetting to complete the transaction for paying the mortgage!!  I'd be doing the same thing except I have auto-payment set up, thank god, with my bank!).  Anyway, I'm so sorry for everyone's troubles.  I hate this gosh darn disease.  I'm so tired of being tired.  I realized today that I haven't felt like myself in so long, I don't remember what "myself" feels like anymore.

I see my breast surgeon on Friday (she who "preferred" that I drive up to an hour each way to get a mammogram when I can & did get a good one 5 minutes from my house).  I'm in such a rotten mood, I'm going to have to work very hard not to take her head off if she says one thing to me about where I choose to get my mammograms.  

Susan's right.  Dark chocolate is one thing we can count on.  And I started this thread with a rant, so I think we should all feel free to let it rip.

If it weren't for all of you, I'd be in a rubber room, I swear.

Kathi

AllieM22

Hi ladies--I am in the same boat I guess--about to start taking tamoxifen...giving myself one week between the end of radiation and starting it. Did get the test that says I will metabolize it well--just hope I can stand taking it!!

Have most of you found splitting the dose morning and night works well? 

KAK

Allie, I started by splitting the tamoxifen into 10 and 10 mg, am/pm, but now I just take it all at once because it gives me one less thing to remember (and I have marshmallow for brains right now), and I've been fine. 

Valjean

My last rads is Thursday, and I will start Aromasin Friday.

I do not want to........but, I will...........

Val

(silly question perhaps, but: how does one get more words above our DX in the signature area? I have looked around & can't figure it out. Help!?!)

NancyD

Valjean, go to My Home and click on the "Edit my Profile" button. Since your diagnosis come up automatically if you make it public, you can add more info to the field that is for your "Signature", and that will appear above your diagnosis.

Kleenex

I, too, had my first follow-up mammogram and there are apparently changes from radiation that they are "watching." I finished radiation almost three months to the day before having this digital mammogram. On top of that, the tech apparently took my comment of "my tumor was outside the field that is normally mammogrammed" as a challenge, and she did about six different shots to try to capture an image of the clip marking the previous tumor area. She scored a winner with the final shot - in it, striated muscle tissue was visible (so you can imagine how comfortable THAT was), and about NINE little metal things. Apparently, it is not unusual for there to be that many in there, and I was happy I did not see the outline of, say, scissors or a clamp or something. Anyway, it occurs to me that if each follow-up mammogram is going to include this multi-shot struggle to capture the area of former evil, I'll probably just develop cancer from the excessive mammogramming! Or as a reaction to injuries sustained during the repeated compression of my breast tissue and chest muscle!

So with this "changes from radiation" thing - I don't see the onc for another couple of weeks, although she said through a nurse on my answering machine that the wording used on my report was "misleading" and I shouldn't worry - is this common? And should I have waited longer before that first follow-up mammogram, even though this is the date they gave me several months ago? It seems obvious to me that there would be changes from all of that zapping, especially only three months out. The comments made specifically said "not cancerous" - but it was very frustrating because they indicated that they wanted to "watch" the area in an ominous way. Okay, they didn't SAY it in an ominous way - I just HEARD it that way.

Coleen

Makratz

Hi Coleen,

I heard my digital mam results the same way you did, ominously!  Mine was also 3 months after rads and had chest muscle in to too.  They called me in 3 more times to redo the mam because the spot where my cancer was is similiar to yours. My lump was on the right side of my right breast, almost where the elastic is for your bra. It hurt to do the mam, but I'm sure it's just the hard to reach location they were trying to get. Plus, being an A cup just makes it that much more challenging.

Did they say what they thought it was that was different?  I had calicifcations.  Did they show up on yours?  Perhaps you should call your onc or go and see him/her, if only to make yourself feel better.  I called my BS after my mam because I was freaking out because of what I "heard".  It did make me feel better to speak to her.  I hope everything turns out just fine for you. Keep us posted.

Valjean

Nancy D~Thanks so much for the directions, I'll do it when I get the chance!

Coleen & Makraz~My tumor was at 10:00 on the far outer quadrant of the right breast & the tech that did my diagnostic ditgital mamm had to do several shots to get the tumor to show up. I've been wondering how future mamms were going to be, I guess I have something to look forward to, don't I? Great......

Take care all,

Val

elisabeth

Hi All.  I had a similar experience with my 3 month mamm after rads.  My medical onc said that he does not want the radiologists talking to his patients because they scare people.  He said that of course there is going to be something showing up where the surgery and radiation is done.  He feels that the radiologists should look at the mamm and talk to him so that he can talk to his patients.  He feels that the radiologists scare women into getting more tests when they don't need them.

E 

kamico3

I started my arimidex two days ago. Very nervous about taking this medication, but i guess I have no choice so I have to try to make it work. Maybe I won't have any side effects!  :-)

Makratz

Goo Luck Kamico3.  Welcome to our group.

Anonymous

KAK--sorry to hear about your fall--hope everything's OK now. I finished my 5 years of tamox 4 months ago.  Just started on Evista this morning for further prevention.  I'll continue with it as long as I tolerate it well.

Anne

Lories

Hi all - I have 4 more days of rads to go, and wondering, how soon did you all start taking your cancer pills (tamoxi, A1's)? 

I know a few folks started while on rads, but I thought I would just limit my side effects to one treatment at a time - I know I am indeed a wussie. 

But i suppose its getting time to make that Femara call, or hmm maybe he will call me - gosh I feel like I am back in high school waiting for a date call. 

Springtime

I have the same Q as Lories. I have 3 Rads zaps to go. Meeting with ONC next week (I get 2 days off of going to the cancer center! after rads and prior to the Tam/AI meeting!)

Did you get a break between?

NancyD

I don't think it matters if they overlap...my feeling, though, was that I wanted to hit anything remaining after surgery when it was at it's weakest. So when my rad onc wanted to start my rads less than two weeks after chemo, I said, "Go for it!" And when my med onc wanted me to start the Arimidex during the second week of rads, I said, "Go for it!"

Kleenex

My rad onc and med onc both agreed that I should start my Tamoxifen two weeks after finishing the rads. The rad onc said that it could exacerbate radiation side effects. It ended up being more like three weeks, since I waited until after Thanksgiving and started Dec. 1st. I was initially worried, but when you think that you'll be taking it for five years, it seems wise to just get on with it!

Congratulations on being so close to wrapping up radiation, ladies!!!!!

Makraz - the tech did have me look at the screen after each image. It is AMAZING how crisp and clear the digital image is compared to the other type! I didn't SEE any little dots or anything, and the word "calcifications" was not used. The letter I got specifically refers to "benign, non-cancerous" stuff that's being "watched." Although why, then, would someone watch it? La la la I'm not going to think about that! I'll just wait and ask my oncologist for a translation of what's up here.

Also - I think what I might do to avoid the festival of left boob mashing is to make the tech START with the most up-in-my-face, chest-muscle-smooshing attempt. None of this starting with the normal shots crap. We KNOW we're not going to see this area without a little discomfort, and maybe if we get the money shot first, we don't have to do the other five shots...

pattyk

Hello all,

Just came from my radiation onc appt. and was told my mammo and MRI looked fine to her!  Such a feeling of relief.  She did say that my onc will give me the full results of the MRI but that I shouldn't worry.  Mainly what she saw was some fluid buildup - normal after rads. So worry for nothing, I hope.

 Regarding the MRI - what an experience- talk about having your boob in a sling!  Not a pleasant experience.  Hard to hold still for 30 minutes laying on your stomach with your hands over your head and your boobs hanging out of two appropriately placed holes.  Not painful but plenty uncomfortable.  Lots of loud noises and strange sensations.  But, it is over. 

Thanks to all who responded to my last posting.  It was helpful and encouraging to hear from all of you.  Now just going forward dealing with the Arimidex.  Not too many side effects, at least not that I can't handle.  Hot flashes, dry skin and eyes and just general 63 year old aches and pains.  I continue to think of all of you and hold you all in my heart.  We will kick some butt by being survivors.

pattyk

mzmiller99

pattyk - Whooppee pickle!!!  Good for you!!  You must be so relieved!

Susan

KAK

Good news, pattyk.

Makraz, nice to see your smiling face in the avatar.

Coleen, my negative mamm report made note of changes and artifacts that were due to surgery & radiation, so I think that's normal lingo & doesn't mean anything's wrong necessarily.

NancyD

Kathie...I like that term "artifacts"...like we're an archeological dig or something.

Makratz

Congrats Patty!  I can't wait to have the MRI done someday. I've heard it's just awkward.

Kathi, I too like the term artifacts! After last weeks mam, and having them redo it so many times, I do feel like an archeological dig!   And yes,my smiling face is up for awhile.  I miss the sunset, though, it was very peaceful for me.

Lories

Hi Springtime, I finally broke down and called the oncologist's office to set up my next appointment.  I am curious to hear about my bone scan anyways. 

So on to the next stage - 3 rads to go for me too!  Congrats!!!

bee5467

patty --

It's not kind of dramatic.  I feel exactly the same way, and I'm sure most everyone else here, does too.  Hang in there sister.  I'm glad it worked out so well for you,  and wishing for a smooth road.

mzmiller99

Makraz - it is good to see your smiling face!!  May I use your face instead of my old, wrinkly one?

Susan

Makratz

Susan, Believe me, the wrinkles are there!  Between raising boys and breast cancer, the wrinkles are deeper than they should be! We all know about that.  BTW, I love the picture of your grandson and his binkie, my boys used to do that too!  He is adorable.

mzmiller99

Makraz -

Thanks.  He is a pip!  Way too far away in Maryland. People are right, if I'd known grandbabies were so much fun, I'd definitely have had them first!!