No Cleavage!

Anonymous

My history: Age 49 now.  Dx at age 46. Unilateral mastectomy, no reconstruction. 

I don't think I will ever get to where I am willing to undergo another surgery just for asthetics, and/or have anything unnatural inside me, or have other parts of me operated on just to have another "lump in front".  And I can stand the shoulder pain from trying to hold up that side of my bra.  And I can hold something in front of me when the front door rings at 9pm and I'm in my jammies so I'm "lopsided".  Etc.

What is causing me a real problem is - what the heck do y'all do about cleavage!  I mean, there is nothing but a turtleneck (which of course many of us including me can't wear due to hot flashes) that doesn't present a problem at the neckline.  OK, so there are T-shirts.  How many of us 50ish gals look good in a T-shirt, eh!  I need to be able to wear "nice" clothes.  But I don't care how tight I wear my bra...my silicone prosthesis STILL leans forward and I would be able to see down my shirt to my navel if my new big fat hormone-less belly wasn't in my way! 

I'm constantly worried about who can see what.  You have to bend forward sometimes, less face it.   And...no matter how hard I shop...I simply cannot find anything that is high enough to cover it, but low enough that it doesn't look like a feed sack.  People keep saying "Oh, you don't need low cut shirts".  But...I'm not talking about low cut.  I'm talking abut very average tops.  I've NEVER been one to actually SHOW cleavage.  I want it covered up. But even a shirt that comes all the way to the top of the breast and above...still means there is a problem because...there is no "top" on one side of me.  I'm caved in.

I use "fashion strips" to tape my shirt to my bra...it helps a tiny bit.  But not much.  And they come lose.  I can look straight down and see the lump of skin against the center of my chest. Are ya kidding me? Who knows how many people have seen that on me.  I run outside to pick up some fallen pine cones and have to use one hand to hold my shirt to myself.  I hate to wear necklaces because I don't want to draw attention to my decoletage (yeah...I'm not even gonna bother to go look up how to spell that!). 

I haven't tried the stick on prosthesises.  I have enough trouble if I put some of the fashion tape onto my skin... I don't think I could do the stick one.

Anywone have any miracles?  I KNOW you ladies are creative.  Necessity is the Mother of Invention. But I've not heard this discussed so far. I buy smaller, tighter camisoles and wear them...but, even if I buy the ones that are straight across the chest...they STILL don't come up high enough!   There's gotta be some miracle I don't know about, right?  I'm assuming it's not quite the same situation with a double mastectomy, as your clothes would lie flat against your chest.  But my existing breast pulls the clothes out where they should be...then the other side falls away.

Suggestions?? (Thanks)

BMac

What about a lightweight camisole.  I was in a store yesterday and was thinking about getting some (didn't feel like trying them on at the time) because I have 2 prostheses and I like to wear V-nects.  I hear you about not wearing anything that will make you hot.  Not having cleavage is definitely a problem for me too.

Anonymous

I do wear a camisole.  But, again, they're too low.  I don't know how, they SEEM like they'll be fine.  But then the prosthesis pulls away from my body and falls just a bit forward, not matter what I do.  I wear camisoles with practically everything.  It's nice that it's now "stylish" for them to show (well, maybe not in a 50 year old!).  And I get the very highest ones I can find.  And wear them backward so they're even higher.  But STILL I'm constantly pulling them up to cover myself.   I have all different types including those that have a prosthesis pocket. Nothing stops it from pulling forward. It only takes a TINY bit and ...boom...you can see down my shirt again.  Or, I'm constantly glancing down and I can see the pocket area of the bra...filled with the prosthesis...where the othe side has a lump of skin.  It's odd what a tiny difference can make.  Guess it's button blouse type tops for me from now on.  I wonder, since I don't hear this discussed, if I just cave myself in naturally. I know tall people sometimes hunch down as they're ashamed of their height as they're growing teens (wow...the grass is always greener, eh?  I'd LOVE some more inches in height!).  So I think I might be "pulling myself inward" saying "don't look here".  If I "puff out my chest" the prosthesis sits better.  But I hold my shoulders forward instead.  Oh well, small price to pay for my health. Still a pain.

OLBinNJ

whatnow,

     Boy can I relate!  I am concave on my mast side, which  is a major problem.  I tried the stick on form, but had a hard time having it stay stuck because not enough of it was actually in contact with my chest so I ended up using the fashion strips as backup to help it hold - then I developed a sensitivity to the sticky stuff, so I now use the stick on form with the backing on in a regular mast bra (with something behind it for more "projection").  I live in t-shirts, have them in a bazillion colors.  Nothing else gives enough coverage.  And bathing suits.....grrrrr.  I have found the Lands End tankinis (not necessarily mast suits - just sew in a pocket) are the only ones that give me the coverage I need.  People probably think I am very modest.  I was never one to show cleavage, but this is crazy.  Try finding a dressy dress that's not low cut. And even just nice tops - low cut has been in style for too long!  Try the Amoena 126 leisure form with a loose bra at night, so you aren't too lopsided when answering the door - no need to annnounce to everyone that you had a mast!   Sounds like you need to keep trying to find the right form for you.  I had a mast in '96 with recon, and a year later had the implant removed.  I have been on a quest for the best form since then.  I finally found a mast bra that works for me last year!  Still experimenting with the forms.  I like the 126 for night, swimming, exercising, and sometimes for everyday, although it's not so good for the "hug factor" - it's a little dense.  Sorry no real suggestions, but I really do understand.

Anonymous

OLBINNJ: That's actually a good suggestion, that I might not have the right form.  I've not yet tried any bathing suits.  I bought two...right from the start.  One was Land's End and another from the U.K.  But...with my new puffy (fat!) body...it's been 3 years and no way am I venturing out in one of those. But mine both have a very high collar, so I think they'd be OK.  But, like you said...it's the "dressy" clothes that present the problem.  Nothing that doesn't look matronly.  Again, because of the weight gain, my blouses don't fit, and I hate to keep buying expensive clothes and outgrowing them.  And blouses are uncomfortable to me now anyway.  I couldn't figure out why one side of my shirt was always PULLING over toward that side.  I found out I'd grown so much I had to get a new size breast form. I went up two sizes and COULD go one more now, but I refuse.  I've gone from an 8 to a 12 (plus) in clothes...and, again....I REFUSE to buy anything bigger.  So - with weight, hot flashes, neither young nor old, and one breast...I guess I'm just being picky but, when ya have to wear these silly things all day every day...seems like I could find something that fits.  Maybe I need to look for a different bra, that hugs me better AROUND instead of killing me in the straps trying to keep up the heavy old thing.  Ah well...again...there are worse problems so I don't want to whine.  Just hoping someone might say "ah-hah!...I know the answer!".

Mary-Lou

Is your prostheses silicone? I am lg busted, so I had to have the weight to balance me ...otherwise my back hurt from the real side pulling against the NO breast side. It didn't move to much.

After two years of fooling with that stupid thing I went for reconstruction. It is so much better and I have my cleavage back. I had a reduction done also....wow what a difference.

All the back pain is gone! And I don't have to search for parts anymore.

Best of luck.......

yorkster

I try to always wear a cami under my clothes after what happen to me one day shopping.

I decided that I would wear a regular bra not my mastectomy bra to go shopping with my friend wanting to feel normal, as I was trying on shoes bending up and down I saw a breast stuffer on the ground and thought WHAT is THAT then it dawned on me that was mine, so I picked it up and put it in my purse, my friend acted like she didn't see a thing, I know she did. Anyways later in day I was thinking about what happened and started laughing and my friend admitted she did see what happened and wanted to laugh but out of respect for me held back.  I'm just glad it happened when I was with my good friend instead of around other people. Can you imagine if that happened when I was out to dinner with my friends and their HUSBANDS, my face would of been a permanent red for the rest of the evening and probably every time I would see them.  Oh well I have breast cancer these things happen is my excuse.

Now if I decide to wear a regular bra I either wear a cami or I don't put my breast stuffer in.

issy1

Hey, for an answer to 'no cleavage' problem and 'who sees what' when you bend down............contact lingerieillusions.co.uk   If you can get toWillenhall....go and visit them! It is a company set up by women who have had breast cancer/mastectomy. They sell a fantastic selection and I bought a wonderful bra that sorted this problem! Well worth a visit for support help and advice and a great selection of bras and swimwear.

smithlme

I've had two mastectomies and I don't plan to have reconstruction. I wear mens "beater" t-s under my clothes. These are the sleeveless tank tops.They're 100% cotton, soft and cover all I need to cover.

Linda

abbadoodles

The local service for cancer ladies in my area (wigs, prostheses, etc.) is able to make custom molded breast forms to exactly fit the individual.  I imagine it is more expensive but could solve your problem, esp. if you have concavity. 

Erica3681

whatnow,

my situation is a little different in that I had a bilateral and I'm quite slim. I definitely used to have the problem of hunching my shoulders forward, but my physical therapist worked with me and I got used to standing up straighter than I ever had before bc. It definitely makes for less gaps in low-cut tops.

But I would never pick a top where I had to always be standing just right. I'm 59 and still live in all kinds of tees--cotton for everyday and nicer fabrics for dressy, and sometimes a tank top under an open blouse or jacket. I find that some deep vee necks and other low-cut tees can work just fine if the fabric is a little clingy, as many of the microfibers are.

My favorite tank tops are the Chicos Travelers tanks. They're a synthetic and don't gap at all when I bend over. I was a little nervous the first time I wore one but now I feel very secure in them. I really don't know what it would be like if I had a unilateral, though. And it also probably helps that I wear size 3 or 4 breast forms, an A or B cup. Still, if you have a Chicos near you, it mght be worth checking them out.  

I was always a very conservative dresser and never showed any cleavage. After my bilateral, I kind of took it as a challenge to be able to wear low-cut tops. So I'm now wearing lower-cut clothes than I ever did before. Weird, huh? I often wonder what my friends, who know I'm breast-free, think.

Good luck. Please let us know if you find something that works.

Barbara

BreastFree.org

caaclark

It sounds like I am smaller on top but also had a unilateral mast.  I use fashion tape like crazy but what I have discovered is that if I use a whole strip and tape it to my bra strap and then stick the straps of a tank top to it, then it stays.  Does that make sense?     I wear tank tops and camis all the time.  I would die in a turtle neck!  Early menopause has taken care of that.

I was reluctant to use the stick on prosth. because I was worried about being sensitive to the sticky stuff.  But...as Barbara knows...I LOVE the Amoena tresia stick on boob.  It is the solution for the prosth pulling away from the body.  Since it is attached and I wear a regular (non mast) bra with it, well, it solves the pulling away from the body issue.  Again, I was very reluctant to try it since I really thought it would not work for me but I am so glad that I gave in.  It opened up a whole new world for me.

Like Barbara, I wear lots and lots of low-cut tops.  Again, depending on cup size it may be less of an issue for those of us who are smaller. 

Anonymous

Thanks to everyone for all these suggestions.  I tried to wear a "soft" prosthesis today, just to avoid the shoulder pain, but, honestly...as bizarre as it sounds, those hurt me even more beause, instead of being solid pressure, they press against the very area where most tissue was removed and cause a different kind of pain.  And they MOVE, which isn't fun either.  So...guess I'm just whiny.  Still being very sensitive in the entire area, I don't THINK I could use the stick on prosthesis, yet I think that might be my only hope.  I've tried all the tape and under-camis in the world without luck. Thanks again.  I'll just keep on looking and instead feel blessed that THIS is what I'm worried about instead of all the things that could be worse (I have a good friend who had my same excellent prognosis and she's been recently diagnosed with lung and brain mets...so if cleavage is what I'm worried about...psht!...who CARES!). Best to you all.

sunshine2003

Love the sticky prosthesis - and it is a good solution - except if you had any radiation - yikes - it's like taking off a bandage.

Re the cleavage problem - try reversing the camisoles (I buy plain - not necessarily lacey - the back is higher - just remove the tag carefully.

Also love my bra with the lace insert - looks great - they're quite common.

J.

joyful

Hi Linda,

I am looking for women who actually go out without any breasts, bras or prosthesis. Are you one of those women? 

otter

joyful, is that something you are considering doing?

otter 

kathimdgd

Joyful,since i'm retired and at home most of the time i do go braless.I had a bilateral mastectomy in august this year.I got my prosthesis and bras a couple of weeks ago,but since the insurance only gives me 2 bras and one set of prosthesis,i figured i'd make them last.

When i go to the stores or drs i just wear the sports bras,and they cover well.In fact for me they came up too high in front,and showed above my blouse.So i took off the top 2 hook and eyes on each one and then folded the fabric in and sewed it down.I don't wear t-shirts,so that might be an issue for you if you are the t-shirt wearing type.HTH

Kathi

AnnP

I've been playing with this issue since my bilateral mastectomy in Dec 07. I also just cannot get my brain around another surgery or two and something foregin in my body... I still have numbness and pain the way it is, although I must admit it's improving.

Lately I have been buying regular bras that have 2 layers of fabric, cutting a slit in the back layer at the arm pit to make a pocket and slipping my prosthesis in. I actually am even back to an underwire occasionally, I never thought I could tolerate it, but it stableizes the prosthesis and holds them closer to my chest wall. I notice a gap now and again but figure, what the hell, I really think people would not even know what they were looking at... your perspective is different than someone standing away from you. I had a "Chick Weekend" with my girlfriends a few months back and one told me "I forgot you didn't have boobs" I just laughed. They really are just bumps.

I've been through the same "expansion" going from a size 8-12. I am working (I'm only 43) and have to wear a professional wardrobe. I found many cute blouses this summer that were button up but shaped, (fitted but not tight) which are now transitioning into fall and going under sweaters and jackets. they were cute, modern and really comfortable. I also wear camis on occasion, get a strechy one that will "hold you in". I've been ridiculously obsessed with wardrobe. And having watched a bit too much cable TV during my time on the couch recovering, discovered all the "fashion" makeover shows. Some good advice is if you are having trouble with clothing fit, buy a size up and have it tailored. it's amazing how you can change the fit of a garment by taking it up at the shoulders to pull the neckline up and in. I've always sewed so have done this for myself.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, this is my first post, it probably helped me more than you. Just feels good toknow I'm not alone in this.

Peace,

Ann.

Thanks for the tips on the "press on" prosthesis, I might just go for it, I have a pair of size 7 prosthesis that were just too painful at first so I have hardly worn them, ironically they are really comfortable now in my underwire bras. Then I got a "hand me down" pair of size 4's from my Mom! Yes, can you believe I wear my mom's old prosthesis! There are some advantages for having BC in the family. LOL!!!!! That pair is the amoena conform I think, with the white back that is really soft and conformable, I got rid of alot of pain with those.

Erica3681

AnnP,

Your story is really interesting--glad the underwire bras work for you (I'm still nervous about using them because I had radiation on one side). Over time (two years since bilaterals), I've come to feel that the bra is often more important than the prosthesis and it sounds as if your experience reflects that. 

Regarding your mom's breast forms, that's a great story! My m-i-l had bilaterals and, while she never gave me hand-me-down breast forms, if she found a bra she really liked, she'd buy an "extra" for me to try. Sadly, she just passed away at age 82, not from breast cancer, though--she was a 52-year bc survivor!

FYI, Amoena has now changed all the names of their forms. I believe the one you describe, with the white back, is now called the Individual, which comes in both asymmetrical and symmetrical shapes. In the asymmetrical, Amoena has just introduced the Individual with Comfort+, a new technology to minimize perspiration behind the form. I suspect they'll also come out with Comfort+ in the Individual symmetrical soon. So next time you need new forms, that might be something to look into.

Kathi,

Breast forms are usually under warranty for two years, so you shouldn't have to worry about making them last--if they break down, they would have to be replaced by the manufacturer.

Barbara

BreastFree.org

joyful

Hi all,

Yes, am considering going bra free most of the time whether inside the house or outside. However, I did order a couple cute non-underwire soft bras from Title Nine and some softies from Bosom Buddies as my back-up. I really an unwilling to go back to underwires and heavy prosthesis. I have heard you can get upper back aches and pains from the sudden change of losing the weight of your breasts and that it is actually good for you to use the heavier breast prosthesis. But, since I had my rt breast removed 6 1/2 years ago and the left just 4 weeks ago I think I might be sparred yet another side effect of cancer. Last mastectomy was elective. Tired of tests & worrying about it coming back. BRCA1 and long family history. I am loving reading everyone's comments-very helpful!

BoobsinaBox

Joyful,

I had bilat masts in May 2006 and went form-free for most of the first 2 years. I tried silicone forms when I was 6 months out, and they weren't that comfortable, but I had a lot of nerve pain to deal with.  This summer I found forms I like (Pals gel forms) and I have been wearing them most of the time in camisoles, but once in a while I like the freedom of no forms.  I have found that people either don't notice or don't care about my flatness (concave on the L).  I wore jackets or vests or scarves or light shawls much of the time to camoflage it a bit, but when I went to the Y in my T-shirt, I really wasn't ever made to feel uncomfortable.  My theory is that most of us are more concerned about how we look than how someone else looks.  I also found that standing up straight and flashing my best smile at people kept their eyes on my face instead of my chest!  Good luck finding your new normal or normals. 

Dawn

joyful

Dawn,

Thank you for your helpful reply. You are right-a smile does goes a long way, that and accessories! 

Joyful 

shrink

Hi Joyful - I go braless 90% of the time and I haven't been arrested.  I'm very comfortabable flat unless I'm wearing a fitted blouse or jacket.  Then, I wear my mast. bra with the silicone forms.  I find that they move around in the cami's though.

ebann

Hi everyone. I had surgery 3 weeks ago. My mother noticed that I was very emotional about not having any breasts. So my mother decided to crochet me some breasts. I saw them and just started laughing. It was too funny for words. Come to find out they are so cute and fun, colorful and soft to wear. She made them wearable for me and they do not slip up. I wear a spaghetti strap top and then another top over that. I wish I had cleavage. I can not have reconstruction for a year cause of the type of cancer I have. I love my mother for it. (I loved her before that too. LOL)  It has made a difference to me going out. I feel more confident. Hmmm maybe she could sale them.. LOL oh no I can just imagine!

Blessings; Elizabeth

otter

Elizabeth, that is soooo sweet of your mom!  It is so personal and touching; and to find out you really like the boobies she made is even better.

I'm sorry to hear so much anguish about not having cleavage.  I wrote a post about that a few days ago, but erased it because my words didn't seem helpful.

They still aren't helpful, but for those readers in the same situation I'm in, I am going to write them anyway.

I've never had cleavage.  My breasts were always small:  generally, a 34A bra fit me just fine; lately a 34B seems a better match, or maybe a 36A or 36B in some styles.  Regardless of the band or cup size, though, my upper chest has always been flat.

So, my left-side mastectomy (without recon) didn't change things all that much.  I can wear all the same shirts and blouses I ever wore, whether I wear them over my new mast bra + silicone booblet, or over one of my old bras with a fiberfil puffy stuffed into the left side.

I never thought of myself as being lucky because I was fairly flat-chested pre-BC.  I never had any cleavage to fuss with or worry about.  The end of my mast scar is tucked way down there over my breastbone, well-hidden by any bra I care to wear.  Nearly any bra I try on (if it's sized correctly) sits flat against my breastbone.

Now I realize that being small-breasted and flat-chested might make this post-mastectomy hunt for prostheses and bras a bit easier.

otter 

NancyD

I haven't done anything about being fitted for protheses after my bilat mx in July. I knew it would be a while—I just finished rads and am still helaing from that.

When the outfit calls for something, I just stuff in the puffy forms I got with my Softee Two mastectomy camisole. They're no where near as big as my old C breasts, but they give enough shape to my form so that the top doesn't look "wrong." However, there are many tops that I have that don't need to be filled out to look OK, and when I wear those, I just have a thin camisole underneath. I found the Jockey brand ones to be very comfortable.

Since I plan to have some kind of recon in the next year, I doubt I will go to the time and expense of getting fitted. But if recon turns out to be undoable, for some reason, I would have no problem going flat without protheses most of the time. I have seen and found some very beautiful tops...sexy, too...that don't rely on showing cleavage to get the point across. They have enough coverage that there's no worry about gaps.

And the point that we worry more about our appearance than others notice it is so very true. 

LindaLou53

Joyful, I had my bilateral mastectomy in Dec 2005 and did not do reconstruction.  I did think I would wear a prosthesis initially, but after not wearing anything during the 6 weeks of Rads I decided I liked going flat the best.  I also had developed lymphedema of my left arm and did not want to aggravate it by wearing heavy prosthesis and tight bra bands around my chest.  I have been going "flat" now for almost 3 years.  Last time I wore a prosthesis was for my brother's wedding a year ago, otherwise they just sit on my closet shelf.

For me going flat is certainly the most physically comfortable and convenient approach.  I do get a little discouraged at times about how I look in certain clothes, but that is mostly due to my prominent belly and rib cage which is now so noticeable without boobs.  Whenever I want to "dress up"  I wear lots of layers or interesting patterns or bodice designs that tend to camouflage my flat chest.  I am very tall, so wearing long tunics with a blouse or tank underneath works well for me also.  In spite of wishing I was younger, thinner and had gotten better hair, eyelashes and eyebrows back after chemo, I still feel going flat has been an easy decision for me!   

Initially I felt a little self-conscious in public but that did not last long.  I have found that most people just really are not all that observant.  I decided my personal comfort and sense of freedom was of more importance. 

SusaninSF

WhatNow,

I've been off the board for a couple of months and this thread has drifted quite a bit but from reading your original post, I think I have some ideas. First, and most importantly, it sounds to me that your bra doesn't fit you. I had a similar problem with the form gapping when I leaned forward. I went to Nordstroms for a fitting and found that I was wearing a bra that was 4 inches to big around and two cup sizes too small. A bra, particularly a mast bra, is supposed to fit very snugly around your rib cage. At first, it felt uncomfortably tight but it definitely keeps the form in place. If the bra fits snugly it won't gap out when you lean over. Definitely go for a bra fitting.

Regarding clothing choices, have you tried wearing a mast sports bra? I love the Janac sports bra and often wear it under clothing styles that might gap. One of the styles comes up very high on the chest and it keeps the form snug against your chest. You can buy these on-line. I've never seen them in stores.

I have a similar problem that I can't wear anything that's even remotely low cut. I think that for me, the problem is that my chest is very small in area (I'm only 5'1" tall) but I wear a size 7 form so the forms come up very high on my chest. Also, my remaining breast is full all the way up to my collar bone so the difference shows. Since I live in SF, it's cool year round so I wear a lot of turtle necks or blouses buttoned almost to the top. I also wear blouses with high round collars. When I see a style that works, I buy several because it's hard for me to find anything. I don't trust the tape. Luckily, low cut seems to have finally gone out of style.

Hope this helps!

- Susan 

ButterflyLady

My problem is that I had a masectomy on my right side.  I had a tram free flap reconstruction, but the majority of it failed and had to be taken off.  I now hav just a very small amount of flesh on my right side, with the top where my cleavage would be, completely gone and sinks in quite a bit.  I have just enough flesh that I can't wear my prothesis and not enough to fill my bra.  I have taken what is called NuBra and put the two silcone pieces together to help fill out the right side, but it does nothing for the fullness at top toward the middle.  No matter what I wear you can tell I have fullness on the left and concave on the right.  I have had so many complications from surgeries that I am afraid to go back and let them try something else.  I have just decided this is what I was  dealt and I need to learn to live with it.  If other people don't like the way it looks, then that is their problem.  I have way too many other problems to be dealing with than to have to worry with  how my clothes fit,

barbe1958

Wow, glad I found this thread! I go to my surgeon on Wednesday and my husband and I are adament that if my left has to come off, so does my right! I am not going to be looking over my shoulder (or down my chest) for the next number of years waiting for it to show up on the right.

I have been big breasted since I was 13 (38D). I actually got a reduction 5 years ago and loved my smaller breasts. I have no intention of reconstruction as I don't want another surgery. I have told a couple of my friends that I won't rebuild my breasts and they were shocked. I said "Why should I get fake boobs to make YOU feel better?" They said, "But you're in sales!" That surprised me; I've never flaunted my breasts or cleavage. I think with the right jackets, scarves, etc, like a number of you have mentioned, it shouldn't be noticeable. I am presently a 42C so there will be clothes I can't ever wear again, but getting rid of this load will be a pleasure! (Let's hope I don't have to re-post a change of heart.)

The sounds of the hassle to make it all work so other people don't notice is disheartening. I am not ashamed of  my cancer, I certainly won't flaunt a bare chest, but hey, why give myself something more to bitch about. 

I have always admired smaller chested women as their clothes fit much better. Carrying this load around all these years has caused cervical disc degeneration too!

Thanks for the inspiration ladies! 

Erica3681

Barbe,

Good luck with your surgery. I love your answer to your friends. I do think wearing breast forms allows my friends to kind of "forget" I don't have real ones. It seems that many women, by artful dressing, are able to look lovely without any breast forms. Since I've never been good with scarves and tend to wear simple tees with no vests or sweaters (too prone to hot flashes!), I've found wearing small, light breast forms is a good solution for me.

Given your inclination not to have reconstruction, it's certainly worth trying that route. You'll have the quickest possible recovery from the mastectomy surgery and if you change your mind later on, you can have delayed reconstruction.

You might find my non-profit website, BreastFree.org, helpful at this juncture. Many women from this forum contributed their personal stories. And there are photos to help you know what to anticipate after surgery, as well as a section on preparing for surgery and one on living "form-free"--that is, going flat.

Barbara