anger... depression.. this isn't me???

heatheready

I can't seem to deal with life right now.. you would think that since my mother has been gone over a month that life would seem to even out again and become somewhat "NORMAL."  I don't know how to deal with the day to day happenings of a young mother of two.... i'm falling apart and i just can't seem to pick myself up..... I don't know what to do with my father either... he is still so young and he doesn't seem to know what to do with himself anymore.. he and my mother were married for 26 years and he is so lost.  I want to be there for him but it seems hard when i can hardly take care of myself... i wish i could go back three, four years and spend more time with her... i wish i could have fought with my parents to go to a different doctor.... to try something new... to do anything.. i fear that this will happen to me too... the doctor had already told my mother that my sister and i need to have gene testing to see if we have the cancer gene she did.. since i guess it's extrememly hereditary... how do i deal with all of this.... is there no end????

Maryiz

Heatheready, I can not tell you how to deal with this because I have not been in your shoes.  I can tell you that the healing process will take a long time.  You must not think of the global picture right now, but think of one day at a time, otherwise, it would be too overwhelming.  I think for your father, he will feel better spending time with you and your children for you are what is closest to him now.  I know when I get depressed about BC, my little nephew comes over and does take my mind off of it for a short time, and he also makes me laugh.  As far as the BRAC testing for you and your sister, you don't have to do that today or tomorrow, you have time, but you should find out at some point when you are much stronger. Right now, spend time with your family and take it slow.  I hope each day gets better. Maryiz