I was dx October 1, 2007, and now its happening to my sister.

Joviangeldeb

I got a call from my mother last thursday, telling me that one of my sisters had a breast biopsy and will find out the results early this coming week.  I'm not taking this news very well.

I spoke with my sister and she's going thru exactly what I went through a year ago.  She found a lump, went for a mammo, that turned into more mammograms.  They did an ultrasound and the tech started it, left and the doctor came in stating he wanted to perform it.  This happened to me, except while undergoing my u/s, the tech left then came back asking if I would go right to the hospital to have mine done, cause they had a 'stronger machine' ?! 

We don't know if her tests will prove negative or positive but how do other's cope with this?  After speaking with her, she seems to be taking it better than me.

I've been doing good, its been 5 months since chemo ended and I'm getting my life back.  Keeping busy. On arimidex and I have alot of body pain, but I choose to ignore it and try and live my life to the fullest even tho I move slower. But now with this news, all my worries and fears are returning.  I feel like hybernating and haven't gone out of the house this entire weekend. I dont' want any of my loved ones to have to go through any of this and I feel so out of control.  I even feel like it should be me again. I've done it, I can go through it again.   Why her? 

One of my other sisters is really angry that this is happening to our family. I have no anger but I know each of us handles traumatic things differently.  Now I feel, who's next?  

I realize that I'll get over this and get back to my 'positive attitude' but right now I feel down.  If she indeed has bc, I plan to fly up to be with her during her surgery.  She's planning a double mastectomy if she does have bc.

Thanks for listening.  It helps getting it out.

Joviangeldeb

I got the call this am.  she's been diagnosed with breast cancer too.

heatheready

I'm really sorry for everything that your family is going through... i can't even begin to understand how it feels to get cancer.. but i know how it feels to love someone who is diagnosed.... My mother was diagnosed 18 months ago and just passed away last month and believe me it's the hardest thing to deal with in the world.. but i'll tell you this.. i really don't think that there is anything or anyone to blame for this... It happens to the best of people it seems and i know that if i could have traded places with my mom i would have.. but i definately wouldn't tell your sister you would rather you have it... that may just upset her for her part in hurting you more after your struggle.. i think the best thing to do is to be there for her... cherish everyday with her and just let her talk, compain, yell with you.. anything to get her thoughts out... just be there for her as much as you can.. i believe having a strong family is a must when fighting this terrible sickness... hang in there and i really hope everything goes well with you and your family

Joviangeldeb

Thank you Heather.  I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.  Yes, you are right. Family support is a must.  My sister is handling things differently than I did when I was first diagnosed. I was very open and wanted everyone I loved around me.  she's handling it the exact opposite.  The only one she's requesting to fly up is our mother.  She's requested that we give her some privacy to cope with the news and not call her.  so we're giving her that. Right now, I've sent her a note in the mail and emailed her that I was praying and thinking of her and to let her know I'm here whenever she needs to talk.

At first I had a very hard time with this.  I felt that I needed to help her.  I've been through it and I was hurt she didn't want us to call her. I kept crying for a day and a half.  I kept thinking  that the reason I have it was to help others and how could I help my sister if she didn't want my help.  The rest of my family helped me through this as well and I finally came to terms that what she needs right now is some time alone. I'm helping her that way.  My mother and other sisters are supporting each other. Each of us is coping in our own different ways. Also, there's 4 girls in my family, so the other two not diagnosed are going to breast specialists in the next few weeks for a physical, mri and mammos.  They will be discussing things for high risk. 

anyways, I wish you well. And thanks for your words of advice and encouragement.

Take care,

deb