YOU JUST NEVER KNOW

nosurrender

I was diagnosed a couple of days before 9/11. I was in NYC that morning.

I had TN cancer. I knew I had a fight ahead of me and didn't know if I would survive. I was told there was something like a 20% chance I would see five years.

My good friend's husband went to work. He was talking on the phone with her and the first plane sliced through his floor and he died instantly

The brilliant doctor who invented the sentinel node procedure had an office full of patients - they were all breast cancer patients. Some were newly diagnosed and didn't know what was ahead of them, some were metsters and didn't know how long their future would be...

The doctor, while on the way to see these patients, stepped off the sidewalk on her way to the hospital and was struck by an ambulance and killed instantly.

My friend Ann has lived with mets for 14 years.

A fireman in her town was cleaning his gutters and fell off the ladder and died of a broken neck.

Everyone is faced with fear, tragedy, horror and sudden events that change their lives forever.

For us, we are given a head's up. We know what we have and we do whatever we can to live as long as we can.

Flalady is a graceful, giving, strong, magnificent woman who gives hope every day and she has mets. She is LIVING. She is a hero to me.

Pattypoo has a generousity of spirit and a protective nature and a loving heart who cares deeply for everyone who has been diagnosed with this disease. She offers hope and support and the newbies need people like her. She is a five year survivor and my friend.

We have metsters- we have survivors-we have the newly diagnosed... NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS.

You can be diagnosed with this disease and be bitter and take the hard reality of it and live in a way that all you do is stew in the negative. You have every right to do that. You are entitled to do that. But your life will certainly be miserable if all you do is look to the bad and not open your heart to the good... and there is good.

 -or-

You can be diagnosed with this disease and say to yourself: OK, I have cancer. I can't change that. But I can move forward and be proactive and fight as hard as I can and along the way I can offer the benefit of my experience because there is always someone newer than me and what I just went through might help someone else facing it. If you live like that your life is not miserable. It is full of hope and it is full of promise and it is stepping outside of yourself and reaching out to others. The greatest gift in the world is  knowing you helped someone sleep through the night because of something you said to reassure them.

You can also step off a street corner and the Number 5 bus can run you over and kill you instantly. You never get that chance to tell the people you love how much they mean to you, you never get the chance to fight, you never see another sunrise or hear the sound of children laughing.

You just never know.

We have breast cancer.  We have that knowledge. No one knows what will happen- but we can live the best life we can and move forward.

Anger is natural. But it won't get you anyplace. Channel it into something positive in your fight- you will be happier and when you look back on your life you will see you had a life- in spite of cancer. Mets or not.

All feelings are natural. But the women here have made the choice to be positive because their lives are better for it and newbies are lucky to know them. And you know what? Women who are dx'd with TN are not given a death sentence. They are given better chemo and better rads and are winning this fight.  How do you know this? Every day you wake up and are alive on this earth you have won.

FloridaLady

Bless you nosurrender...as always you put it so well. 

Flalady

DianeE

That is just what I needed to read tonight.  Thank you for that.  You are so right. 

Diane

g94u67

Beautifully said.  You just never know... and make everyday count.

 Jeannine

swimangel72

Thank you so much - I totally agree with everything you wrote - I feel there's a reason for my BC dx...........maybe God alone knows the reason, but hopefully I'll be a help to my sisters-in-suffering.

debk55

Thanks for posting your message. I needed to hear that today, I am still coming to grips with the my Dx. I did tell my 16 year old when she asked if there was a chance I could die form this, there was a chance but, there was a chance I could be killed driving to work. Life is to be lived and I just keep focusing on fighting this and being healthy and happy after all the treatments. Surgery is Oct 2nd and I meet with Onc on Oct 1st.  This website is a blessing. GOD Bless you all! Debk

6cooks

I love this site and I love what you wrote. Everyone says to me "you have such a good attitude" and my reply is alwayss "whats the alternative?" Who wants to go around depressed and forlorn all day? I work in a hospital and there are so many tragic stories out there. If BC is what we have to deal with then OK. I am still a bit of a newbie so maybe I"ll feel differently later on, but I hope not. This site has helped me so much, lifted my spirits, answered my questions, given me somewhere to turn where the gals can relate. Just wanted to say glad I found you all.

Marci

kerry_lamb

One hundred percent of NON bc sufferers die.  Stay strong girls. XXX Kerry

VickiG

It is so true!  Last summer going thru TAC my family was (obviously) so concerned about me, and I would tell my mom that it's more likely that I would die in a car wreck on the way to chemo than from the reason I needed chemo in the first place!  We ALL need to appreciate every day we have, whether we have a reason to be concerned about our health or not.

pattypoo53

Gina,

WOW, you can write girl!! You said it all, and it brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for all your support.

Hugs

Patty

pinoideae

Powerfully articulate message.

prayrv

AMEN

OneBadBoob

Thank you Gina.  How well put.

I am taking some time to remember and grieve for all of the dear friends I lost not only in the Trade Towers on that horrible day, but all of those friends I have lost in horrible car accidents, and those who have died instantly of heart attacks and strokes and brain anyorisms (sp?) way before their time.

One of them survived the car accident and after months and months in the hospital, he can again walk and has a painful, but decent QOL.  He is a very dear friend, and often he reminds me to remember every morning when your husband/wife/SO goes off to work, your children go off to school, be sure to tell them how much you love them, and hug them, no matter what kind of disagreement you had with them the night before.   You really just never know if that is the last time you will have a chance to do so. 

Your post is also personally touching to me, and although I am not triple negative (and I hope I do not offend anyone) my sister-in-law was recently diagnosed with pancreative cancer.  Fortunately she was a candidate for the wipple procedure--certainly not easy,   How much worse of a prognosis can there be?  Yes, there is a very small percentage of people who do survive this for many years, and as I tell her, why should she not be one of those who survive?  Where there is life there is hope, and as you say, who knows what the future brings?

With your permission, I would like to print out our post and take it with me as I accompany her to her chemo treatment this Thursday.  I know it will lift her spirits.,

None of us makes it out of this lifetime alive.  It is indeed, as someone said, what we do between the -dash- that counts.

Hugs and prayers for all of us.

maxgirl

Beautiful!   I try to keep the same kind of attitude, but it definitely helps to have an attitude booster every now and again.  Thanks for taking the time to post.

 For all of you just starting on this journey, you're in our thoughts and prayers.

slanderson

I know!  I remember driving home from one of my radiation treatments.  Still weary from chemo and bald and worried about the rest of my life, along with my friends and family.  Then a crazy driver whizzed around me at about 70 mph on an access road.  The driver went around me scaring me to death and about a 1/4 of a mile down the road struck and killed the driver in front of me.  That poor woman was, I'm sure, not worrying about her health at all, not in the least wondering if she would live or die.  So you just never know....

Thanks, Shannon

jacqueb

Your message put my fears in perspective.  Living with this DX is still living and far better than the alternatives.  Thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

danix5

Thank you for your message!  You are so right!  everyday we wake up is a new start and we can do with it something positive. 

I joined the armyofwomen.org today that is my positive so others in the future may not have to battle this disease.

One day, one positive, one smile!

Daniella

coonie

Amen! You just never know!!

jdash

Gina  you write so beautifully -  and your words touched my heart and my soul

i too knew people who died tragically on 9/11 and others who were taken from my life way too soon - i know of a few who lost children when that is the most devastating of it all   i agree that life is worth cherishing and celebrating- it is so fragile and unpredictable    i decided when i lost my dear husband 20 yrs ago to cancer that i would live the best life i could for myself and my daughter who was 2 when he passed-  now i have another daughter who will be 14 next month and it is for both of them and myself that i stay strong and positive  life may be challenging at times but always worth living...