Ok, this is my thought

LuAnnH

I don't think I want the hassle of a full time man in my life, sex drive is zero so how do you find a guy to date on a regular basis for more companionship than anything.

well my thought was to put out a personal ad, title would be 'NICE LADY IN 40'S IN SEARCH OF IMPOTENT MALE'  what do you think????  At least I wouldn't have to worry about my sexual inadequacies at this point and he wouldn't either......  wonder if I would get any good real responses????

Jaybird627

How about taking up golf? Don't golfers want to hit a ball rather than hit that special spot!

Seriously, maybe look into an activity that you enjoy that men enjoy, too, (like golf! ) and see if you can strike up a friendship? Sorry, I'm at a loss for ideas here because I want the opposite.

LuAnnH

I used to want the opposite, dang gone drugs for cancer drains it out of you.  I've just been without estrogen too long  LOL  Hate Golf!!!!  Nice try!

Traci-----TripNeg

lol....LuAnn.....I'm not just saying this.....I literally just went on Yahoo personals either Wed or Thurs nite...(can't remember) and the "title" to my ad is "love without sex".

I put in the 'about me': Got breast cancer; have no desire for sex and looking for a man who doesn't need sex."

Swear.

I just checked my messages........ZERO so far.

dah0123

I'm with you on this LuAnn - I've been without estrogen for 12 years now.  I'd like someone in my life but . . . not sure sex is even possible at this stage!  I thought of the same thing re: impotency!!  I think we need to find men with high blood pressure as I understand the meds for it cause impotency!!!!!  Traci - let us know if you get any responses!!!

LuAnnH

See Traci, I wouldn't disclose the bc in the ad.  they need to be worth knowing to know about that.  I'll see how adventurous I feel tomorrow, maybe I'll give it a shot.

Not to get me wrong, I used to love my sex life and had a very good adventurous one.  My mets dx just threw me into a whole new ballgame and doctor visits are my life's work anymore.  I don't need the stress or pressure of a big relationship, just an occassional dinner with a nice man who is interesting would be wonderful.

Jaybird627

Gosh, I just had a thought - if you only want companionship (and not anything sexual) why not get together more often with your women friends? LuAnn, I understand your 'dilemma' but what exactly are you looking for - just friendship or something kinda but not really sexual? (just asking, don't get mad, okay?)

And I still think the golf idea is a good one as you can pretend to like it then decide that he can be with his friends glfing while you spend time with your friends and then you can meet up for dinner afterwards! (I really would like for you to have a date/dates if that's really what you want!)

LuAnnH

I'm not mad, a man to go do something with is always nicer than with my girlfriends.  I honestly don't think sex is much of an option but I am open to other ways for closeness and/or intimacy.  Geez Janice, you are making me really think this through.  I suppose I want more than a girlfriend kind of thing with a guy but I really believe stage IV cancer is alot of baggage to bring along not to mention the other health issues that the tx's have caused me.  I don't feel sorry for myself but sure do miss a man's company and would love someone to hold me when I'm feeling low. 

Jaybird627

(((LuAnn))) We all need to be held! And I DO hope you find what you're looking for! Just post on a few on-line sites and I'm sure you'll get at least some casual dates if not more. Many have had success on PlentyOf Fish.com.

lauren_wyp

Hi

Why not take up Yoga or Tai Chi. This way youll'll get youself more healthy and if you're healthy you'd look and stay young. In turn that will attract the guys whether its is for long term or otherwise.

That's my opinoin.

Good Luck.

Laren

Prevent Cancer by staying healthy

LuAnnH

lauren, thanks for the thoughts, but I am currently having alot of back issues and was almost bed bound recently.  I am currently recovering from surgery to help this issue and may never be able to do some of those types of things again without risking injury that would put me in a wheelchair

Anonymous

Hey LuAnn....I'm hardly ever here on the weekend anymore and just saw your post. I'm wiondering if trying some of the sites where older gents look (www.seniorfriendfinder.com ?) might help, especially if you specify that you want a companion for casual dating and day trips. I'm sure that if you describe your desires correctly, you don't need to blatantly say "don't want to get laid" Besides, since you have a legitimate need and there are probably guys out there who would be happy to spend time with you, you have the right to state your mission in positive language rather than apologetically. Another alternative is to check out some of the dating sites that cater to those with a chronic illness or cancer. I'm not sure how active they are and it might be a long shot, but if they turn out to be free, what have you got to lose except the few minutes of time it takes to create a profile? Two of these have been cited on this board before. They are www.cisforcupid.com and www.prescription4love.com

I hope that you find someone cool, LuAnn. It would be so nice for you to get away from the cancer crap for awhile now & then, huh?

~Marin

LuAnnH

I am getting away next month Marin!!!!  YEAH ME!!!!  I am going to Vegas for 5 days!!!!  No babies, no teenagers!!!!  I am so excited, my first real trip away from my kids for any length of time.

Anonymous

LuAnn....that is absolutely fabulous!!! And how amazing it will feel for you to be with real grown-ups in a real grown-up town! I hope that you have a blast! And who knows who you might meet among those slot machines !

~Marin