"Dad, Is mom going to be OK?" -Telling your children

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For those worried about telling their children: 

I thought I'd share this story about our 8 year old son.  It made us both smile and cry in a time of high stress.  It has been about a month since my wife was diagnosed and the surgery will take place in 7 days now that the kids are back in school.  We thought it would be okay to tell him and his 6 year old sister about the cancer in as open and honest a way that we could as we didn't want our children to fear cancer.  Our situation is a bit unique in that both grandmothers are living healthy survivors of  breast cancer, so our children do not view breast cancer as scary:

We've managed to keep an even level of emotion in the household so it was a bit of a shock while on a walk to the store yesterday with my 8 year old son he asked me, "Dad, is mom going to be okay?"  I stopped and told him everything would be all right and gave him a big hug.  He's always been wise beyond his years.  He then asked, "Are you going to be okay?".  I hugged him and said, "We're all going to be okay".  When we got home, he vacuumed our whole house which made us smile.  I have to admit that if any of you remember the show, "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" starring Bill Bixby, I felt like I was living in an opening dialogue of one of those episodes.

School starts tomorrow so the kids will now be able to preoccupy their minds with friends, teachers, soccer and schoolwork.  Anyone who says having kids take years off of your life needs to laugh and spend time with them as they are going to be a big part of your healing process both physically and mentally.  They have a lot of things going around in their tiny little heads, but they aren't immune to the situation and can be an emotional pick-up before, during and after the surgery.

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LUVmy2girlZ

Adorable.... 

My children have been both my strength and support...and the humor side of questions were a "reality of humor"

Making the routine just how it was is important - if possible.  Children are stronger than we give them credit for.

To all our little blessings!

Much LUV

Fitztwins

My boys (age 7 ) seem to be clueless most of the time. They have kinda grown up with all of my doctor appointments, bald and not bald.  They know I need to rest. If they vaccumed the house I probably would have fainted! you raised a compassionate little guy.

Janis

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Janis,

I'm sure your children have been through a lot.  We were fortunate in having to do deal with this for a month so far.  I did have the chat yesterday with my children about their mother's surgery which just went well. 

Our 8 year old was curious so I showed him diagrams of both in situ and invasive ductal carcinomas.  I showed him blown up diagrams of the tissue inside the breast and explained to him that we needed to remove the tissue.  Our son said he thought we were made 90% of water.  I told him yes and that his mother was going to be filled now 92% with water.  I've learned just to answer the questions that he asks.  His response, "So mommy is going to have to flat tires and instead of filling them with air, we fill them with water?! Cool."

Yep!  Kids are so great. 

Route53

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