My daughter was diagnosed

joah

My 33 year old daughter is about to begin chemo for breast cancer.  Any advice on how to help her to get through this? 

cmb35

joahill

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. Chemo can be tough, but it is doable. There is lots of specific information on the chemo thread as far as side effects, etc., but my guess is you're thinking about how to help her through emotionally. My mom died when I was only 35 (I was dx with breast cancer when I was 41), but I would have wanted her to just be there for me, to listen to me. The funny thing is, my mom probably would have tried to minimize what I was going through, in order to make herself feel better, which would have actually aggravated me! But that was our relationship. I'm guessing that since you're online looking for advice on how to help her out you and your daughter are probably a little closer!

In general I would say to follow your daughter's lead, let her be sad when she feels sad, be positive with her when she feels positive. Ask her what she wants/needs, and then run interference for her if need be.

Be sure to come back here, the women on this board are amazing, and will do what they can to answer any questions you have. Good luck to your daughter, and I'm sorry you have to see your child go through this, that must be rough.

my3girls

Joahill,

Your daughter is so fortunate to have you as a mother. The fact that you came here to look for ways to help her says allot about you. I am sorry your young daughter is having to face this journey.

Be there for her as much as she wants you too. If you live close, there will be days when she is just exhausted and needs to rest in bed. So if you can be there to help her on those days (for me..it was day 3 and 4 after my infusion.)..just so she knows you are there if she would need anything...will be such a comfort for her.

If you have faith in a higher being, pray for her and all of your family for strength to help her keep as positive as she can.  When I knew that I had so many people praying for me, it really gave me the comfort and the fighting spirit I needed to get me through my treatments.

How many treatments does she have to have? Do you know what type of chemo? If she has any children, she will need help with them during those "not so great days". Also get her things that she may crave to eat. Your tastebuds change during chemo...so you may need to wait and see how she feels.  Everyone reacts differently.

You will receive lots of advice and help from these boards, so keep coming back for support...you will need it too.  I have 3 daughters and I couldn't imagine watching my child go through what I went through. But with your help and her keeping a fighting spirit..she will beat the beast!!!

All the best to you and your daughter.

Lisa

Estepp

I am sorry for your daughter and all your family.

My mother and father have been a huge help. They follow my lead. They make three full dinners the week of chemo ( I have chemo every other week).. the meals feed my family and lunch the next day.

They drive me to chemo.. as they want to be at all of them. ( they are retired though)..

And they call to check on me if I have not called them in about two days..

And they PRAY constantly for me. ( I realize this is not everyones beliefs)

If my parents would have sat back and asked me.. " what do you need?" I would have told them I was going to be fine and would call them if I needed help. I am not the person to ask for help. They know this... so... considerately enough.. they just stepped in and said... "we want to come to all the chemos for you and will be cooking meals on chemo weeks.".. etc... this took the "me asking for help" away... they just said... here is what we want to do...

You know your daughter.. so handle her the way you know she needs to be handled.

Get her on these boards to talk daily with us. We are like her, and we will understand everything she is going through...

Gods Love,

Laura

spar2

My whole 4 months of chemo and 6 weeks of healing from the mastectomy my mother came to my house once mainly because my daughter brought her, she said she was too old to go through the stress of all this but my aunt that is 4 years older that my mother took me to chemo.  If you can take her to some of her chemo, provide meals, buy her a box of popsicles, pick up her meds for her. Fix a chemo bag and put in magazine, a snack, drink, book, crossword puzzles or what ever she likes.  It is a 4 to 5 hours process each time.

Will be praying for you both.  God bless