Moving on?

darCraig

I was active on these boards during treatment, but thought it would be best for me to "move on" and be like everyone else (ie, those who have not had cancer), 

So, how do you "move on"?  And I'm not like those who have not had cancer!  I need those who have gone through the same thing, because, I'm not the person I was before.

The cancer centre here has discharged me to my family doctor!  At first I was just relieved to not have to go back there, but then the discharge letter came, outlining 6 month check ups, etc. and so, no I'm not in the clear.  And they are not saying I am cured.  It frustrates me that it can recur so long after original diagnosis - it seems like too much to have to live with this uncertainty for another 10 years!

Yesterday, the paper had an obit of a lady I knew of who died of BC.  It went into GREAT detail about her diagnosis, how she had been given a clear bill of health 5 years later and then was dead in a year, how many seizures she had, how brittle her bones were etc. etc.  I can only assume that this was somehow cathartic for her family, but I sure didn't need to read it (and I know it was my choice to).

Several years ago, before I was diagnosed, my family dr. made the comment that BC before menopause is usually fatal, but afterward is not so serious.  I was premenopausal a diagnosis (chemo took care of that!).  I know that this is not true, but it sticks in my mind.

So sisters, how do you move on?  Does denial help?

nosurrender

I don't think that I could personally move on. Maybe because I was diagnosed twice with two separate primaries over five years apart. I want to be on top of every change in my body so I can make sure I am able to catch things early.

But it sure feels good to be with people who don't have cancer, don't know about my cancer and we talk about life - it is like an emotional vacation for me.

So, while I am still and will always be involved in the cancer world, I try to take those cancer-free vacations as much as possible. 

shrink

I think I'm moving on, but slowly.  I was diagnosed just over a year ago and only see the onc and bs every 3 months now.  I haven't returned to work yet but I find that hours go by that I don't think about myself as a cancer patient.  It used to be minutes.  I guess that's progress.  I like not working to be truthful and have begun some of my old hobbies - beading, making greeting cards, etc.  My creative side is reawakening. As long as a feel almost like my old self, I don't worry too much althugh there's plenty to worry about.

pinoideae

I received my frequent flyers points and was discharged this year from the cancer hospital. (I am participating in a 2 year Canadian bc study - transfer of primary care to family doctor care, and answer questionaires about myself and medical care every 3 months which has worked out really well for me, the family care doctor...really, I just have to make sure I go for mammos every year, and the family doctor schedules me at the cancer hospital for my mammos, so the same experts who have my mammo history are reading my mammos still). Having had cancer is not as scary but just enough scary to be watchful of the "cancer what ifs" as possible without be crippled by it; keeps me vigilant about my health and healthcare.  Since I joined the cancer club I think I have just incorporated it into my life. Yeah...it's just a part of my life.  Learned to live with it, made my peace with it.

anneshirley

You can move on just not as you were before.  The first year I read everything I could about HER2+ positive breast cancer and actively participated on the boards of the HER2 support group.  I realized that for me I was keeping my anxiety level up and stopped posting, and reading more than once a month.  I post here but mainly on the political threads and occasionally on the threads concerning cancer if I believe I can answer a question.  And once in a while when I have a medical problem, I'll ask questions. My anxiety level is much lower but it does return from time to time, but there are many days when I don't think about breast cancer and also many days when I'm convinced I'll die of old age. It depends on your personaity type but for some people it helps to stay away from cancer boards and reading too much. I still get Google alerts on HER2+ but I rarely read them.  Hate to admit that I'm a head in the sand kind of person, but apparently I am.  And it's working.

Mary-Lou

Life didn't stop because of BC, so I thought to myself "Why should I"  I don't move as I did before ....so things have changed. But I try my best to make my life worth living.

Don't get me wrong, life is not always a bed of roses, and some days are hard. But I just have to pick up and go on. After I have a fit or two. It helps me feel better if I just vent.

Anonymous

life is just different.

i have definitely moved on but it will always be the six hundred pound gorilla in the room.

i will be four years out in november.

i have come to terms but still have a hard time when we lose a sister.

but it does get easier.

head in the sand, lalala, denial river, call it what you want but

what ever it takes, i say gooo with it and enjoy.

no rules...