My co-worker

melann0331

Hi all.  I started at a new job recently.  I've become very close to one woman.  She's been diagnosed and currently being treated.  I don't understand what stage she's in.  I don't know how to be supportive.  I know she gets questions all the time, so I don't want to bombard her.  I have no idea what her prognosis could be.  Again, I don't want to ask. 

What I do know is this: she has lung nodules, tumors in her hip bones, gets hormone injections and if the injections don't work the next step is chemo. 

I appreciate any information or help you can give me. 

Mel

BMac

Dear Mel, I feel bad that no one's replied to you.  I know I've hesitated because I really don't know what to tell you except since you're close to her  just continue to be a friend to her and treat her the same as always.  It's hard to know if she's sitting there wondering why you aren't talking about it or she could be relieved that you aren't asking her.  Who knows.

You could ask her (the next time someone asks her) if it bothers her when people ask.  It could open up conversation. 

Yogi70

Mel,

First of all, let her know that you are there for her.  If she feels like opening up she will.  Please let her know that while you may not understand everything she's going through that she can lean on your shoulder.  Please be honest about the fact that you don't know what to say and that you need her guidance as far as boundaries are concerned. 

The fact that you are reaching out and asking for advice demonstrates what a good friend you are, so you really can't go wrong as long as you are genuine.

Yogi

irishdreama

It sounds like you are a caring, concerned person, so just be yourself!

LuAnnH

with tumors or nodes in the lungs and something on the bone that would make her stage iv, which is exactly what I am.  Not sure how long she will continue to work, but some people work long periods of time out of necessity and others don't.  I am also able to determine she is hormone positive because it sounds like she is getting faslodex which is what I am getting.  I have been on this tx over 14 months successfully now.  I know questions get old and you get tired of answering them.  One of the biggest complaints at this stage of the game is fatigue and bone pain.  Are you close enought to help her out at home at all?  Those are the biggest things that will help her.  Work wise I can't imagine what to offer to do other than your friendship.  You might pop into the Recurrance and Metatasis section where other stage IV girls are and show this site to her.  It is a great help to me and a wonderful place to come to with my questions and get answers to my questions without running to the onc constantly.