Just found out

HeatherL

Hi my wife just found out that she has breast cancer and will have to have a mastectomy on July 22.  We are in shock of course but we have support of family and friends

Anonymous

Hi there,
Welcome to the club nobody wants to be a member of. 

I know this is so scary for you, but it does get easier.  Once your wife gets an action plan going, you will both feel more empowered. 

Check out the mastectomy thread for tips and hints on what to do in preparation-lots of us have posted things that helped us get through it.  (Can someone supply a link? I can never do it right.....)

Keep coming here with any questions, or fears you have.  We have all either been there, are there right now, or are at the same point you guys are.  There is comfort in numbers. 

Love and prayers, Deb

abinneb

hello heatherL hubby

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/91  here is a link for the surgery discussion board regarding surgery - before/during/after.  Great tips there to get ready.  Scroll down and you will see all sorts of discussions related to surgery.   Ask, ask, ask all the questions you want - someone here will be able to help you.  Try to have on hand the type they think it is, and any other info and someone here can direct you to the boards where you can ask the questions relating to it.

Stay strong for her - she will need you more than anyone, and now more than ever.  Deb is right - once a plan is in place you can ask the questions that will come to you and the more you know, the more power over fear you will have. 

you are in my thoughts and prayers,

Amy

Jen44

Hi HeatherL,

I am so sorry that you and your wife are having to go through this.  No matter how you slice it breast cancer sucks.  The upside is that there are so many no treatments and medications that woman are living much longer and better lives than they once were.  You will read on this site about many woman that are still around for 10, 20, and more years after being diagnosed with this life altering disease.  With your name being HeatherL I don't want to assume you are a female or male, but I do want to recommend a book to you that I bought for my husband when I was diagnosed.  He is not much of a reader but he read this book cover to cover and he said it helped him a lot.  I asked him if it was only good advice for a man and he said it was great advice for anyone that was living with a loved one dealing with cancer.  The book is "Breast Cancer Husband" by Marc Silver.  I hope I didn't offend you in anyway.  I just wanted you to know about the book in the hopes that it can help you with some of the crap you are feeling and will feel with this.  Being the one going through this sucks, but being the one having to watch your loved one go through it sucks just as much.  Take care and keep us posted on how things are going.  My prayers are with you and your wife.

Keep laughing (it is the best medicine)

Jenny

HeatherL

Thanks Jenny,  Yes my wife's name is Heather and I am Jamie I will take your husband's advice on the book.

thanks Jamie

Anonymous

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/91/topic/700092

Hmmm.....the link you posted didn't work for me, Amy, so I am trying it, too. 

Jamie-I was heading out the door earlier, so I was typing as quickly as I could.  I also wanted to add that it is equally hard for the caregiver/spouse/family to go through cancer, though in a different way.  You are allowed to be scared, mourn the loss of your old "normal" life, and be mad that this is happening to you. 

Eventually, you will move past those feelings, and be ready to fight right alongside Heather. 

Love and prayers, Deb

Anonymous

Argh-the link didn't work!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

dhettish

Hi Heather and Jamie,

Sorry you have to become members of this club. The good news is that this is where hope and support live. These women rock! I found the boards after I was almost finished with my chemo and wished I had had them during all the pain and fear. But now that I have found these women, I am never letting go. Take care and keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Debbie 

abinneb

Heather & Jamie- sorry the link didn't work.  Not sure why.  I had checked it earlier and it seemed to work.  But Jamie - you can just go to the 'Forum Index' at the top of the page and click on that.  It will take you to the main topics and you can look through those and go to whichever you feel applies to you. 

Jenny - wish I had known about the book too.  My dh would have loved reading it. He is doing everything in his power to make me comfy and help me recover.  But I want him to be healthy and deal with his fears too.  I think I'll look for that book at the book store tomorrow.  Thanks for the info!

Keep choosing hope Jamie and Heather ~

Amy

Jen44

Hi Amy,

I think it will still help.  Unfortunately this isn't something that leaves us overnight.  I posted about the book when I found out but there are so many different places I guess I should have posted it again.  I hope that the book helps him as much as it did my husband.  Take care and my prayers are with you.

Keep laughing,

Jenny

HeatherL

Hi

I received the book you recommended and have started to read it.  This book actually has some good points but also the author had said the same things I did when I found out.  So far the book is good.  Heather and I have our appointment with the Doctor on July 21 to find out what is going to happen on July 22 when Heather has her mastectomy.

abinneb

Jamie & Heather -

How are you guys doing?  I know this part - the wait - is so very hard.  You are in my prayers and I hope you have some down time to rest and try to take it easy.  You two can do this ~

Amy

HeatherL

Tomorrow is the day,  we are both nervous.  We saw the doctor today and he said we have a long process ahead of us.

abinneb

Jamie and Heather -

I will be saying extra prayers and sending you hugs and thinking of you tomorrow.  I hope you can try at least to get some rest.

You're in my thoughts - keep on coming back here - you'll feel so surrounded with the support you find here ~  

Let us know what happens

Amy

HeatherL

Today is the day wish us luck.....

wishiwere

All the best!  Prayers for the steady and capable surgeon and anesth. hands, and for your wife's calm and recovery.  ALso that the wait is not so terrible for you.  I think (I know) it was hard for my dh and family.  Keeping you all in good thoughts today! 

Anonymous

Wanted you to know I am thinking of you two. 
Love and prayers, Deb

HeatherL

Hi I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you that the surgery was a success as per the doctor now we have to wait on the results of the pathology test to determine what the next steps are. The surgery was about 1 hr 45 mins. Chemo is guaranteed but we are not sure at this time about Radiation. She will have some numbness since one of the lymph nodes was near a nerve ending that they took out.  We will have to wait 4-6 wks until she is healed before the Chemo treatments start. After 10 days the 2 drains will come out and the rest of the healing process will follow   Heather is resting comfortably at home now.

Again thank you for your thoughts and prays.  We will get through this one step at a time.   thanks   Jamie and Heather Lake

HeatherL

Hi I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you that the surgery was a success as per the doctor now we have to wait on the results of the pathology test to determine what the next steps are. The surgery was about 1 hr 45 mins. Chemo is guaranteed but we are not sure at this time about Radiation. She will have some numbness since one of the lymph nodes was near a nerve ending that they took out.  We will have to wait 4-6 wks until she is healed before the Chemo treatments start. After 10 days the 2 drains will come out and the rest of the healing process will follow   Heather is resting comfortably at home now.

Again thank you for your thoughts and prays.  We will get through this one step at a time.   thanks   Jamie and Heather

Anonymous

Hi guys-thanks for the update.  I know that was really a scary time for you, and it sounds like Heather is in good hands. 

One step at a time is right!  You've got the right idea!  Love and prayers, Deb

abinneb

Jamie & Heather -

So glad to hear she came through it well.  And happy to know she is home and healing.  Take good care of her - and yourself !

You're in our prayers

Amy