Hair Hair Hair - Another question

Jen1832

Summergirl - I too had long hair (just past my shoulders) and dreaded the hair loss.  In preparation, I had my hair cut just above my shoulders, then to my chin and finally into a pixie.  My pixie lasted about 4 days (which was day 18 after my first chemo).  When I noticed it falling out, my DH scissor cut my hair as close as he could to the scalp.  Then I had a friend come over and buzz it.  I found that having it fall out in my shower or in the bed was not something I wanted to have to clean up.

I bought two wigs before my hair fell out so that I could match the color.  My mistake was buying wigs that were longer, like my own hair.  Guess what happens when you put your purse or laptop bag on your shoulder???  Yep, you can pull the wig right off your head.  After a few times of that, I stuck mainly with scarves and hats.  I bought some of the soft caps from headcoverings.com.  I found the ones made out of soft material (like thick tee shirt material)  irritated my head less.  The wigs were also very scratchy and uncomfortable even though they had lace caps. 

I know how hard it is to go through this, but you will make it.  You have to do whatever it takes to make yourself comfortable.  You can always vent here.

Saralmom - Your hair looks awesome!  Very fetching. 

Cat123 - You should do whatever you are comfortable with as well.  My previous comments were from my own experience....others didn't care nearly as much as I did!   That was an eye opener!

Jerseylicious

SummerGirl, I am right there with you!! I am due to start my chemo in September, and I am so so stressed about the hair thing! I don't think it makes us vain at all, I think just from reading these message boards, most of us feel the same way:) Anyway, I've been wig shopping and actually bought one, but now i don't even know if I really like it and I definitely don't know if I will ever feel comfortable wearing it! I'm fine with hats and scarves at home but I teach Kdg. and I really have to wear a wig to work. The problem is, there is so much selection in the stores and on websites! I've pretty much ruled out human hair i think, but is that a mistake? Can anyone offer pointers on what makes a wig LOOK more realistic? I just feel like once I have that settled, I will be able to stop stressing about it and I will be able to concentrate on getting better. Thanks!

survivor11

Jerseylicio,

What looks realistic on one person may not look realistic on another. Thats why I stayed away from web sites and actually went into wig stores so I could try them all on. Have heard human hair has more natural movement. My wig wasn't human and I can't tell you how many people said they didn't know it wasn't my own. I went with a wig that was the same color and length as my natural hair. Hopes you get to your decision soon, so you can move on.

To the vets that have been blessed to start going their hair back, what does your head feel like before your hair starts to grow back. My head has felt weird all day, can't even put the feeling into words.

LuvRVing

Jerseylicious - I have 3 wigs, but the best one - the one I feel is most "like me" is the one I purchased from a professional fitter.  The cap fits my head (I've got a small noggin, apparently) and it's the only one of the 3 that is truly comfortable.    If the cap is too big, it will hurt behind your ears, or slip down on your head or ride up at the nape of the neck.  So try to be sure about the fit.  As for the look, take your DH or your best friend or anyone you can trust to be honest.  Even my two that don't fit me all that well still look like a hairstyle I've had in the past. 

 I think we tend to be far more self-conscious about it, when the truth is that no one is paying nearly as much attention as we think.  With my really good wig, I can apply some double-sided tape that holds the cap in place so it doesn't slip at all.  With that security, I feel almost like it's my own hair.   I can even sleep and shower in it.

When  you get fitted, ask for pointers on where the cap should sit on your forehead.  Mine is 4 fingers above my eyebrows.  Having what looks like the "right" hairline is another thing that makes the wig look natural. 

Good luck!

Michelle

dragonfly1

Jerseylicious I definitely recommend a synthetic wig because it's so easy to care for if you will be wearing it a lot-wash it once a week, brush it and it stays in the same shape/style. I have been wearing mine 5 days/week for work since Feb. and it's holding up very well. As far as how you feel about the wig-it's normal early on to worry about how it looks and whether it will look natural. I chose a wig that closely matched my highlighted hair and the style to make the transition easier. People can not tell I am wearing it and a lot of people have actually said, "oh, you got your hair done". It just makes you feel self-conscious because you are so aware of it but over time you will find that other people have no idea. I vividly remember the first time I walked out of the house wearing my wig-I went into a Dunkin Donuts and felt like I had a neon sign letting everyone know and of course no one even looked twice at me:) I also had my wig cut to thin the sides and make it less "poofy" since I always wore my hair so straight and had bangs cut to soften it a bit. My avatar is the wig-I'm actually amazed at how good wigs are now...

SpecialK

The wig I bought is made out of Versa fiber - it is a Racquel Welch.  It is heat tolerant and you can blow it dry or flat iron it.  I took it to my stylist and had it cut a little to make it look more like my style and the color is exactly the same as my actual (highlighted) hair.  I always feel strange wearing it but often people want to know where I have my "hair" done, or if I just came from the salon.

LisaGH

I was worried after chemo hair wouldn't come back. Tomorrow will be 12 wks PFH. Very short (half inch maybe) but getting thicker- still a little skimpy at some male baldness sites top of my head. I went topless at about 8 or 9 weeks PFH gradually. Will wear ball caps at times. My hair has a few places where the scalp can be seen.

I did like wearing the wig as others said- when I just didn't want the looks or didn't want to talk about anything. Never felt confident in the wig though. 

Glad we have options- and we all need to do what makes us comfortable- we deserve that. I need to take another photo of my hair & will try to post it to see if my buddies (all of you) on here think I have had any growth & if it's like some others who have passed this stage (which I consider sort of awkward the phase I am in). 

hdangelbaby

i have been back to work over 2 months now. it's hot so i either sported a hat or gelled my hair for work.

i still have my long haired wig. i so want to wear it one day to mess with everyone/.

what do you all think?

bdavis

I have two wigs... One long and one shorter, with bangs... I bought the shorter one (same as the longer one, just shorter) because i was going on spring break to st john, and was afraid i would be too hot with the long one... And the wig boutique cut bangs into the short one... Mine are both lace front, whichi love because i could pull it back off my face.. My wigs look great, and the color is blonder and more strawberry than my hair, so i may take one in when my hair is long again, and have my stylist match that color... It was gorgeous.



I plan to go topless for everything, but i have my 30 year high school reunion at the emd of sept, and may choose to wear the wig... But i will need to lighten the front hair as it will po thru the lace and look funny. When i bought the wig, my hair had a lot of highlights, especially in front so it blended in just fine, but my hair is more or an ash blond, not currently sun bleached so i will need to help it along.. Maybe after another inch of hair.. Its only about an inch now... Need a little more.

LuvRVing

Hdangelbaby - I think you go with whatever feels good that day!  I see changing wigs or wearing a ball cap as having a bit of fun with the whole thing.  I haven't found the whole hair loss thing as traumatic as I expected.  On the other hand, losing the eyebrows and eyelashes (they're going away a little at a time right now) is a little more freaky, even though I knew it was coming.  It seems that every time I wash my face I see a little lone lash or brow on the cloth. 

Speaking of ball cap, I never, ever wore one when I had hair and vowed never to wear one through all this.  I always felt that it made my hair stick out like Bozo, never liked the look.  My little hairless noggin works better with it, although I hate looking up and seeing the bill.  I do like it for those quick grocery store trips or hanging around outside. 

Michelle

mccrimmon324

I bought a synthectic wig and a natural hair wig, don't like the style of the synthetic on me, looked better in the store I guess.  My other wig the natural hair is the one I wear all the time to work.  While I do have to wash it, then air dry it and curl it, I do love it.  The very first time I went out in public with it I went to pick up a prescription, the pharmacist said she loved what I did with my hair and I told her it was a wig and that I just shaved my head.  For some reason I felt really fake, and had to let her know, Now I can't believe I said that but I'm sure with all the meds I'm on she's got to know anyway.  As far as work, I get complimented daily on how everyone loves my new hairstyle, sometimes times I just want to whip it off and say THANKS, wanna try it!!  LOL  Sorry, that's probably not funny but I have to find humor in my baldness somehow. 

It will take a really long time but once my hair grows back I think I'm going to try and grow it into this style. 

I

bdavis

I always told adults that i had a wig on when they complimented me... With kids (and i work in a school) i just said thank you.

marjie

It's funny how sensitive you can be....even after time passes.  A "friend" of mine saw a picture of me in my wig on facebook - she laughed hysterically and said "what the hell is that on your head???" - ouch!!!  I tried to be a good sport and laugh along with her but I sure wasn't very amused.  It was Christmas and my DH and I were dressed up to go to a dinner dance and it was the only time I actually wore a wig.  When I see that picture now, I just remember how terribly sick I was and how GOOD it felt to dress up, hair and all, and have a 'normal' night out.

lilylady

  I am sorry to report that I have had so many compliments on my hairstyle and why hadn't I cut it like that years ago ect. Here I thought I had a beautiful head of hair and a great style before and my $100 wig gets all the good comments.

   The one change I might consider is how I look in gray hair. I have been dying my gray for 20 years. have often wondered if I would like the gray but never had the patience to grow it out. I will see how it looks before I dye it. My gray has always been that shade that looks like a used Brillo pad left on the back of thre sink-my Mom has this gorgeous lustrous gray that everybody always comments on. hoping after the chemo hair is gone maybe mine will turn out that way.

YamahaMama

Margie, that totally sucks about your "friend" making fun of your wig...  I'm glad you remember how good it felt to dress up, and I hope you had a FABULOUS time.  Not that you ever want to see someone else go through cancer, but there are just some people you would LOVE to see having to deal with some of the side effects, aren't there?     I only wore my wig a handful of times (MAYBE 5), and I really dislike any pictures of me in it, but that is probably because of the weight I gained on chemo's fault more than the wig's...    

BDavis, I had my 30 year high school reunion this summer, also, so we must be about the same age.  Hope you have a GREAT time!  I thought my 30-year was WAY different than the 10 and 20-year reunions had been...  I had my last chemo the Tuesday after my reunion, so I didn't have any real hair to worry about. 

I, too, usually tell people my hair is fake when I got any compliments on it.  Although I didn't wear my full wig very often, I did wear the halo a lot.  Maybe I was/am worried they're being sarcastic or something, so I feel the need to make sure they know it's not the REAL me? 

mccrimmon324

Marjie,

That was very rude and hurtfull for your friend to say.  My husband and I joke around about my baldness and wig all the time.  I have one other friend, the one who shaved my head that will joke around we me and it's ok because I've started and it's to find humor when we need it.  I would have been devasted if someone laughed at me especially if they didn't know it was a wig and I was going thru treatment.  I am very sensitive. 

marjie

That person who made fun of me actually went through treatment herself so I think that's why I was a little more than surprised.  Like you mccrimmon324 my DH and I joked around all the time - mostly about my changing appearance - IMO you need to be able to laugh at yourself, but that being said, we are sensitive and it IS a very personal thing.  One think I have learned is that some people just need filters!!

sweetcorn

I am 6 weeks PFC, and it is coming in, but slowly, it seems to me.  I still wear the wig to work and sometimes shopping, etc. but find myself going more places in just the ball cap, mainly because it is still so darn HOT!

The hard part now is the eyebrows and eyelashes are virtually nonexistent.  When do those come back? It is cruel and unusual punishment to lose them so long after treatment has ended.

Those of you who are further out from treatment give us hope!

Jane

SpecialK

sweetcorn - I am double your PFC and saw new brows and baby lashes last week, so maybe another month?  I was fortunate that I did not lose all of either, but they are making a comeback.  Right about that same time my very sparse hair on my head increased.  My DD was out of town for a week and noticed the difference.

mccrimmon324

marjie,

I agree, people do need filters!  Again, I'm sorry she said that to you, maybe she thought she had the right since she went thru it too?  Who knows why people say what they do. 

I'm wondering if anyone who was on TAC still had any hair left, I still have fuzz and next week will be 5 of 6 treatments.  I ask my doc every time if this is normal & he says yes but I'm afraid that the chemo isn't working since I'm not completely bald.  I also still have eyelashes, eyebrows & arm hair, although the eyes have thinned and the body hair just hasn't grown. 

Has anyone else still keep some fuzz?

bdavis

My wigs (both) are just great. No one, even those who knew i was in chemo, thought it was a wig.. They just thought i didn't lose my hair... But the wig in pictures doesn't look as good... Which i don't understand.

ksmatthews

I did TAC and I did still have fuzz left.  I was told my tumor is completely gone so the chemo did work. 

DivineMrsM

My brows seemed to come in around 10 weeks and it only took about a week to fill out once they did.  My eyelash line is showing the tiniest of stubble beginning to grow out now, and it's been almost 12 weeks.  I will take even the stubble, because it makes me look less washed out,

SpecialK

mccrimmon - although I did TCHX6 I kept a lot of hair on my head, had to shave my legs and underarms through chemo (just not as often) kept brows and lashes, they thinned out.  I lost all nose hair though!  They say no connection between amount of hair loss and effectiveness of chemo, even though it is easy for our minds to go there!

mccrimmon324

SpecialK, Glad to hear I'm not the only one.  I haven't had to shave the underarms but my legs I've shaved once or twice, think it may be time to do again.  My brows were pretty think but light before chemo so actually I don't mind them thinning, just don't want to lose them all, the missing chunks of eyelashes are weird and I want them back. 

What's the H in TCH?

mccrimmon324

SpecialK - I forgot to mention how close we are, only about 2 hours and I actually work up in Sarasota, summer in Fl is too darn hot for a wig!!! 

SpecialK

mccrimmon - the H is Herceptin for the Her2+, still receiving it every three weeks until 2012, finished the TC part in June.  FL is too hot for just about everything, especially a wig!  As soon as I get back in the house I rip that thing off my head.  I throw it on whatever surface is closest - my DH calls it "roadkill" and it always startles him to see it laying there.  I like my "underhair" better because even with a hat it is cooler and more comfortable.  I need to come to Sarasota - DD went there to see the Dolphin Research Center, and talk to someone about an internship and she went to St Armand's Circle and said I should check it out.  She is not a shopper so I was pretty surprised, but she loved it.

dragonfly1

Sweetcorn I agree that the loss of eyebrows/eyelashes is cruel and unusual punishment after all we've been through! I'm 12 weeks PFC and my eyebrows had thinned throughout chemo and then at about 5 weeks PFC I lost a lot more on the ends near the bridge of my nose but then the shedding stopped and I'm having to fill that part in with powder as they slowly grow back. Almost every single eyelash fell out at the same time but they seem to be rapidly growing back-they were super long before and now I have full but short eyelashes. I think the eyebrows are harder to deal with. I can use eyeliner to define my eyelids and nobody notices the missing lashes but I'm not as good with the eyebrows... 

sewingnut

I went to a Sephora store and a wonderful girl showed me how to "put" on my eyebrows with a very fine pencil.  I had lunch with a gal going thru treatment and she said "at least you didn't lose your eyebrows".  I told her to look again they were drawn on !!  We had a good laugh.  Eyelashes are starting to come back and I am surprised they are coming in DARK.  Always had blonde eyelashes before.  At 12 weeks PFC my hair is coming in very slowly.

Paula1231

Ouch Margie!

Your story about your cruel friend made my eyes water up with tears.  I remember back during chemo too, and just getting the makeup on and the wig secured to my head was exhausting, but it did feel so good to be up and on the town.  I did not get many comments on my wig other than everyone loved my hair.  LOL.

When I finally had a bit more hair I decided one courageous day to go commando.  A co-worker asked me if I did not think my hair looked a bit "dykey".  What a b*t*h.  I said I was trying to attract love from all quarters. We laughed..ha ha..Still that hurt.  Still stings when I remember how proud I was of my new spiky hair.  Mean people can sure suck the joy out of precious moments.