dating question

enjoylife

dating question

enjoylife

I have been divorced 4 years and I have dated since then but I haven't dated since December and all this came down when I was taking a break from some of the jerks I had met on line too but not to say that doesn't work for some. I have been busy with test and 2nd opinions and more test since then and I didn't know when a person feels its a good time to go out and date again. I dont plan on using the Internet and I don't think I should even consider seeing anyone while I am on Che-mo just started 2.5 weeks ago should be done with that part Sept. When did any of you decide it would be a good time to date or meet someone of course he would have to come out of the sky and land in my yard at this point ha and I didn't think I would have the energy for a relationship so that is why I decided to go this route but not knowing when you do meet someone when you tell them about what is going on???
Any suggestions????  Oh yes I do have someone in mind to call for a coffee when its time if I get the guts never have asked a guy out from the old school ..56 years young...raised very stick and married out of high school so you know where I am coming from ...

 

Anonymous

Well, enjoylife, the possible answers to your questions are one of the main topics we discuss here....when to date, how to date, who to date, and where the hell to find a date? We also talk alot about if/when/how much to tell about our bc experiences.

I, for one, dated throughout all of my treatments and continue to do so still. I adore men and dating helped me to feel "normal" and attractive when I wasn't particularly so. Some of our women found that they didn't feel at all like dating or were just too sick to go out. Others waited until active treatment was over. It's such an individual choice and also depends upon your opportunities, as you point out.

And, btw, I'm also divorced for 4 years and am 55. I was raised in a strict, Catholic environment, but I find the free-spirited life far more appealing.....and loads more fun!!!!

My advice to you, enjoylife, is to take your time and focus on nurturing yourself. Try to surround yourself with girlfriends and those who will support you. There's plenty of time for dating once you're past the more challenging part of this journey. Your gut will tell you when the time is right....and then that sky just might open up and drop you a hot man!

~Marin

LorenaB

"Come out of the sky and land in my yard"  -- hee hee, that's pretty much why I decided to look on line, I live in a condo and don't even HAVE a yard!   Plus I work in the nonprofit sector with mostly women -- the few guys at my office are either 25, married or gay (or in one case, married AND gay -- hey, I live in Massachusetts!).

I was fortunate to meet someone about a year ago who is sticking by me through all this -- not that he is a rock of support or anything, but at least he didn't turn and run away.  We are both single parents so we don't have a lot of time together anyway.  But if things don't work out with him at some point (I'm sort of ambivalent about a future together) I don't think I'm going to date again until I feel more like myself, emotionally and physically (which includes having some hair).

I agree with Marin's advice to nurture yourself and enjoy the company of people who care.  When the time is right there will be opportunities to date and get into a positive relationship with a caring man.  Anyone who gets scared off by the fact that we have/had bc isn't worth our time IMO.