i'm angry

annabanana88

i'm angry

annabanana88

my mom was diagonsed with breast cancer and i am trying to deal with it while at college. my problem is that i find myself really angry right now and picking fights with people, especially my boyfriend. i don't want to do it, but sometimes i can't seem to control it. i am angry that i can't be home but i need to learn to deal with this anger and frustrations. any ideas on how to dealwith it?

MelbMum

Hi annabanna,

I think you have taken the most important step which is to talk about it. It is a normal human reaction for you to feel angry at the moment.

 I would suggest a counsellor to 'download' to (if this is at all possible?). I personally see a counsellor quite regularly to help me with my anger.

I hope that things improve and that your mum goes from strength to strength.

You hang in there girl.

badboob67

Annabanana,

I remember reading your first a little while ago. Were you able to get any help from the support people at http://studentsofamf.org/ ? Even if they don't have a chapter near you, they have a "contact us" link on their site where you could ask for help.

As for your anger, it is perfectly understandable that you would feel angry, afraid, anxious....and any number of other emotions. It is also normal to cycle through emotions rather quickly when going through something like this. Since you are feeling that the anger is getting in the way of you having positive interactions with others, it would be a good idea to talk to a counselor to help you work through things. I have a 17 year old son and I also have stage IV breast cancer. My cancer recently progressed and my son had similar angry feelings with his girlfriend. When we talked about it, it really sounded like my son was angry that his girlfriend seemed so bothered about "nothing" when he is going through something so "big". When cancer enters your life--either as the patient or someone who loves them--there is a near instant shift in priorities for lots of people. Whereas b.c. (before cancer) you may have been very upset about, say, a bad haircut that would take weeks to grow out. After cancer, those things don't seem so important. It's hard for us to even remember sometimes what we ourselves were like b.c. It's this huge thing that just exploded into your life and even though people can be sympathetic and they try to help, they can make mistakes when dealing with us if they've never been through something like it.

Annabanana, I am so glad that you are reaching out here and not keeping this to yourself. That is a very GOOD thing! Please keep reaching out and getting help. This, I know, is an extremely difficult experience to go through!  School is almost out for you now, isn't it? Will you be able to go home for a while?

((((HUGS))))

Diane

haylieann

Anna

I understand I'm going through a similar situation. After coming back home after my 2nd year of college was over, my dad told me that my mom had breast cancer stage ii in the car after picking me up from the airport. The shock took a while to sink in. I was angry and still am a little angry at life that they kept it from me for three months. She had her operation a few months ago while I was in school and I have to give them props for hiding it from me for hiding it so well. Their intentions of hiding it from me was to not distract me from my studies. I find myself being angry with my friends as well and can't help it. Sometimes I think it's jealousy that my other friends are living a more carefree life that gets to me. Maybe we are both still quite getting over the shock or it's our way of coping. Exercising and running helps clear my head and take things from a different perspective. Running is a mental sport and exercising where you feel the adrenaline rushing through your body helps numb the pain in my heart.

I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers.

Haylie

sorrow

Being angry is a normal reaction to hearing upsetting news like that. Everyone is different but maybe take some time to yourself to cry, scream, write, or do whatever helps you get through this initial phase. Just remember that what your feeling is normal and you CAN get through this!

Try to explain things to your boyfriend/friends so they understnad that they might need to be a little patient with you right now.

heatheready

Anger i hate to say it... but it's very healthy... i think that if you were indifferent or unable to show emotion then you should be worried... believe me, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 18 months ago... she was young like i imagine your mother is.. just 46.... I was so angry.. and i still am.. but i know that if you believe in God that you will be able to make it through anything