managing anxiety abt recurrance

Cathy-D

managing anxiety abt recurrance

Cathy-D

Hi, I was diagnosed 12/05 with stage 3C, her 2 neu negative, with 16 of 20 nodes positive.  I have lymphedma in my arm and must wear a sleeve.  My toes will always be numb from nerve damage and my eyelashes havent grown back yet!  Most of all, I have crying jags every week of so; Im on meds but really want a way out. I think about just stopping all follow up since my chances are only 50/50 that I will have lived 10 year after treatment.  Does anyone else feel this way?

lastminuteD

Cathy-D - first of all - big hugs!!!

I was diagnosed 12/05 as well, but started with widespread DCIS, had mast, found .2cm IDC, went back in for axillary dissection with 0 of 5 nodes, did reconstruction with mast and was put on tamoxifen. ER+/PR+/HER2+++.

All through reconstruction I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and it did just as I was finishing up with my tattoo - I found a lump in my reconstructed breast!  Surgeon was  pretty sure it was  scar tissue but no, it was  IDC again, this time 3.5cm er-/pr-/HER2+++!  That was  a little over a year ago.  Since then I've had  chemo (A/C, T/H & still H through August), radiation (SUCKED! major burns), hair loss, brows, lashes (losing these again as we speak), weight gain, fatique, neuropathy in my hands - etc.  I totally get tired of this and I am so scared of another recurrence or new primary but I will fight this until I know I can't any longer!  I want to be here to have grandchildren (my kids are 25,21&17) and I want to have a golden anniversary with my DH!   

You can do this too!!  The women on this board are incredibly supportive - ask questions, whine.............. Someone will be here.  Please  call your oncologist and go over how you are feeling.  Maybe a different med would help you feel better or a change in diet, exercise, alternative treatments.  I'm sure someone else will be along soon to talk to you as well as there are many on here that have and are going through more than you or I can imagine.

More hugs!

Dawn

Cathy-D

Thank you so much for your uplifting note back.  I feel like a whiner but truly, comparative to what others have gone thru; My head must be screwed up.  I havent felt like it has been on right ever since this happened.  You are all so tough and brave!  You are also so lucky that somehow you got that surgeon to believe you about the 2nd lump!  I never know what is real.  Thank you for your kind words and God bless.

roseanne

I am a stage 3, survivor, just starting my 7th year. I have found some solace in thinking that BC is a chronic illness, and that you have years of no evidence of disease (NED). Always be proactive with your health care. This is the place to be with your anxiety. A,-We understand as we all have been there, and B,-we recognize that your anxiety is real. You are not alone. I believe all survivors have a ton of anxiety-try not to let it drive your life though. One day at a time. When you are feeling physically well, celebrate it, and forgive yourself if you are anxious. I think what you are feeling is common to the illness, and trust me it will get better.

juli0212

Cathy~

I'm a bit over 1 year out of treatment (on Tamoxifen right now with visits to oncologist every 2 months since dx 5/06) w/bone pain, and have days of anxiety.  I've been told that's VERY normal for YEARS for us breast cancer patients...as we are NOT known as survivors yet (I have no prognosis yet)...I think a GOOD doctor who listens to you (oncologist/primary doc/radiologist?)...is a VERY good idea.  You have EVERY RIGHT to feel the way you do.  We ALL now live in uncertainty, for life, not to be pessimistic, as I don't think of myself that way...but it's the truth.  LET yourself feel what you are feeling...it's kinda hard to fight it anyway!~!   AND let a doc know.

MAYBE a different med COULD help...who knows til you try?  GOOD LUCK and all my best....keep us posted...when you feel down, just write.  ~juli