What do you think about the pregnant man?

NoH8

What do you think about the pregnant man?

NoH8

What do you think about this story?

I have to wonder if it's a step backwards for the understanding of transsexuals in mainstream society. This guy decided only to have the top part of the surgery, which is fine, but was still granted status as a man and able to legally marry a woman-- which is GREAT. I wonder if becoming pregnant is just going to muddy the waters for those who are on the fence about LBGT rights including marriage and adoption. Maybe I'm not giving the general public enough credit for understanding gender issues, but I think since most people are just warming up to civil unions, are scared of marriage and this is way too much for them. IMHO we need more of the publics' supporti if we're going to get our rights and this may just be too unusual.

Pregnant US man defends right to have child

1 hour ago

NEW YORK (AFP) - Thomas Beatie, a US man who was born female, underwent gender realignment surgery and is now pregnant, has sparked renewed debate in the United States about the rights of transgender individuals.

Beatie, who is legally male but decided to keep his female sex organs during chest reconstruction surgery and testosterone therapy, has appeared in several magazines and on Oprah Winfrey's talkshow since revealing that he is pregnant.

"I feel it's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human need. I'm a person and I have the right to have a biological child," Beatie told chat show host Winfrey this week, sporting a light beard.

His unusual situation first became public when he wrote an article in the leading US gay magazine The Advocate last month, entitled "Labor of Love."

"To our neighbors, my wife, Nancy, and I don't appear in the least unusual," he wrote, explaining that his wife was unable to have a child after undergoing a hysterectomy and that they had conceived by artificial insemination.

"Our situation sparks legal, political, and social unknowns," Beatie wrote, adding the couple had experienced opposition from health care professionals, friends and family.

One doctor refused to treat the couple, after consulting an ethics board.

"How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible. Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am," Beatie wrote.

While some have come out in support of Beatie's right to bear a child, and decried the discrimination that Beatie and other transgender individuals are up against, others have been less supportive.

"Seriously, how selfish Beatie is. He is not able to breastfeed, guaranteed, which is the single, most important thing you can do for your child nutrition-wise," said one letter-writer in the Advocate.

"It's called 'childbirth' and it is a 'female' thing -- not a 'male' thing. Period," wrote another.

"If I choose to not have 'bottom' surgery and keep my original genitals intact, as far as I'm concerned I've chosen to simply present as male, not become a male," said the writer, identified as Alicia "Joey" Brite.

But Robert Haaland, a female-to-male activist, said he believed most Americans were comfortable with the idea of Beatie bearing a child.

"The Beatie pregnancy is simply the Beaties' way of using the reproductive choices that were available to them. Most Americans can understand that," he wrote in The Advocate.

rferraris

I sure hope they have plenty of money for counseling for the child.

NoH8

LOL-- I assume they do, since gender reassignment surgery, even just the top is considered elective surgery and not covered by insurance.

gsg

I'm really torn, but only because I worry about psychological impact down the road for the child...and other children in school will no doubt have a field day...we know how kids can be.

I don't have any moral problems with him having the baby.  In fact, I'm fascinated by it and think it's kind of cool.

AnnNYC

A really interesting moment in the Oprah interview was when Nancy, Thomas's wife, when asked what she thought other people were thinking, said "Well, I think there are a lot of women who wish their husbands could go through the pregnancy..."

There was a huge belly laugh of recognition from the women in the audience!

gsg

LOL.  she's right!

caitb

Being from San Francisco and now living in Bend (the same small narrow-minded, red-necked town as the Beatie family), I have to say that I wish them the very best!  I think it's fabulous for all involved.  They love each other and they are bringing a loved and wanted child into this world. 

Calypso

I'm with Caitb:  the child will be loved, wanted and cared for (although granted closely watched by the world! But that doesn't have to be a bad thing.)  I think we can challenge ourselves to expand a bit, as the human race.

wishiwere

Okay, I have to admit, it was gross to me to see this man with hairy armpits and a beard with the belly.  Same is was the other day when my sister sent me an email with a man with an absolutely HUGE belly.  I can't even remember what the reason of the email was, b/c I deleted it promptly, b/c it was just a disgusting pic of this HUGE belly looking like he was going to explode on the email, I swear!

Anyway.............  My only thoughts after being grossed out by that, is the health of the child. I only caught the tail end of the info on the news the other night and didn't hear anything about how long before he got pregnant he'd been off the tetosterone.  I'm just hopeful this child won't have more than psychological problems from the kids in school in the way of physically problems as the result of the hormones and such.  Just a weird situation to me.  Of course, that's my opinion, as selfish as it is, the child is the one that will carry the brunt of these 2 people's decisions, for hopefully a long and healthy life.

AnnNYC

wishiwere, Thomas Beatie said he'd been off testosterone for two years before trying to conceive the first time (this pregnancy was preceded by an ectopic pregnancy that required emergency surgery and removal of one fallopian tube) -- so I guess that's a total of 3 or 4 years?

AlaskaDeb

OK....sticking my neck out here....but "he's" not a biological male, so I don't know why it is news at all!  "He" started out life as a female, never did any surgery other than to remove the breasts.  "He" is a "she" in every biological way I can figure out.  Other than the emotional damage it might cause the child some day I think it is a non-event....though the publicity seeking behavior has kind of creeped me out a bit....

Deb C

candie1971

well, I have to agree with Deb...."he " is a she any which way I look at it..that's why she can carry a child.

marejo

I agree with Deb and Candie.  What's the big deal.  "He" really is a "she" so it's no story at all.  It's ridiculous and it's just a story to stir up controversary, in my opinion.

Mary Jo

Yogi70

I also agree "he" is a "she".  I do hope the child is physically healthy and able to have a normal childhood (whatever that is).  I do believe the child will be loved. I just think the media can sometimes do more harm than good (for the child of course).

Yogi

NoH8

Here's a PC lesson in gender identity. He is biologically a woman, but has a gender identity of a man. He is legally a man having had top but not bottom gender reassignment and went through the legal process. Transexuals prefer to go by their gender identity whether or not they have had the surgery.

This is an area I've struggled with on a personal level, in part out of my own fear of being on a date with someone and later finding out that she is biologically male-- it would feel like a betrayal. Intellectually I know the likelihood of this happening is next to nil and I know it's morally wrong for me to have difficulty with part of my (the LGBT) community. They have to struggle so much for acceptance.

I want to say,hey, whatever floats his boat-- but it's freaky to me and I'm trying to be more accepting. Alaska Deb's comment and those who agree with her is part of the reason I am against the pregnancy,because I think transgender is hard enough for the public to understand w/o adding this to the mix. I have never before met or heard of a F to M trans who wanted to give birth although I'm sure he's not the only one. It's confusing to me and I'm part of the community.

I agree with you Yogi, when you say the media can do more harm that good, but I blame the parents more so than the media. How could they not jump on the story.

I feel sorry for the child-- it's hard enough growing up and being a teenager. Fortunately now kids with gay or lesbian parents don't feel the need to hide in many situations, but this is a whole new dimmension.

AlaskaDeb

I understand the concept of transgender gender identity, and really don't need a PC lesson.  I would politely call this person "him or he" in a conversation with him.  I actually know a person who began life as a man and is now living life as a woman.  I have no idea if she has done surgery or not...in fact I have NO wish to know.

I thought his conversation was a question about what we thought about the pregnancy.  In that case, if we are talking about biology, it is a non event.  If we are talking about how this will affect the child that will be born, I still think it is crazy for them to seek all this attention.  In my opinion the couple is seeking money or notoriety.  They certainly are not handling themselves like their concern is moving forward the acceptance of transgender issues.

As always. just my opinion....and my concern is still that this kid is going to have real problems due to the media frenzy.

Deb C

AnnNYC

Very well stated, DebC.

I have to say, the thing I found most troubling in the couple's Oprah interview was at the end, when Nancy said they had closed down their business and it seem like she was saying their ONLY financial plan for supporting themselves was that Thomas was finishing a book about his life! 

So... yes, they seem to be "seeking money or notoriety"!  In fact, it sounds like they're counting on notoriety to provide income, whether they admit that to themselves or not -- to me that doesn't sound too good for their child.

Beesie

I fall into the "biologically he is a she" camp so from that standpoint, it's a non-issue.  

I do worry about the child pyschologically.  If the parents had not gone public, the child might have had a normal life, but now??  The kid will grow up with media attention and will be considered a freak.

And I do worry about possible physical damage to the child.  If the pregnancy didn't occur until 2-3 years after he stopped taking testosterone, how is it that he still appears so male?  I would think that after two years, his male features would have softened considerably.  A biological female who is not taking hormones simply wouldn't look like that.  Or was it fake stubble?  (I have intentionally avoided his television appearances.)  Something seems fishy about his appearance.

spar2

I agree with Beesie in that he appears to "male" to have been off testosterone for any length of time.  On Ophra he said his/her clitoris grew into a small penis ( can't even imagine what that looks like) and I wonder where and how they chose the sperm.  It is just too weird for me.

AlaskaDeb

OK....that is WAY too much information!  they really said that on Oprah???  How would you like to be this baby in 20 years and having that clip played about your parent?  I knew there was a reason I don't watch daytime TV......

Anonymous

Yes, Deb, they said that.  He made a joke about the size.  Cannot remember.

The sperm came from some donor.  They had to travel over 300 miles to be inseminated.  Soooooo, they got their own little ole container and she inseminated him.  Yep, she did.  She explained that it had to be done quickly...something about not being in the air too long.  Perhaps Amy can remember that part.

His wife mentioned the book and said he had started writing it when he was 17.  Oprah didn't say much about it..so no plug for them.

I do think it was unwise to bring this to the public's attention.  If he was concerned about "showing" and worried about what his neighbors would say they could have taken the last three months and gone somewhere else.  His neighbors thought his wife was pregnant.

If I recall correctly, I believe the transsexuals were against him getting pregnant. 

Shirley

ravdeb

I have issues with this whole thing. I just happened to see this on a news program last night here in Israel.

I am not talking about the sex change and won't even go into that (I have some spiritual/religious conflicts with this however).

My feeling is that this person is very confused and did not make a final choice as to which gender he/she wants to be. Because of that, I think it's irresponsible of her/him to get pregnant. I wonder what the reason was for getting pregnant and I can only assume that he/she needs an extremely huge amount of attention (which he/she is getting) at the expense of the child. When children are in the spotlight like this, it can be very damaging for them. (By the way, I'm a child development specialist).

We often are concerned about parents here who adopt babies from the far east because the kids look different and there could be problems for them in school and so on. And this pales to what that child from a parent who is female in technical terms but appears to be male on the outside, may go through.

We can joke about wishing our husbands could get pregnant and then maybe understand what we went through, but the fact is that men do NOT get pregnant and it's absurd to do more than joke about it. Besides this, most men would not be able to deal with the emotional and physical issues that women are capable of dealing with in regards to pregnancy.

I went for a blood test this morning and they told me an interesting observation on their part. I closed my eyes during the test (I always do, or I look away but the way I was sitting was weird so I closed my eyes). They were worried that I was passing out and then they told me that young men who get blood tests often black out.They aren't sure why, but it happens with more young men than older men, or women.

I found that interesting (my daughter's boyfriend blacks out) and it sorta confirms my belief that men are not put together to deal with pain or things that surround pain.

Just my thoughts....

NoH8

Ravedeb, I agree with your premise that he sounds confused. I have never known of a transexual who would willingly give up hormones and go back to the biological gender, because they have had to fight so hard to be accepted for their gender identity.

Contrary to what you may have heard, most LGBTs are fine with the situation and encouraging of it. I am in the minority on this point, more conservative which is a very unusual place for me to be, even with LGBTs.

Deb, glad to hear you're confortable with transexuals, I wasn't sure from your post.

I am concerned for the child, especially in light of the fact that the family income is going to come from writing a book about the experience. I don't think that's fair to the child and I agree with those who said the parents are out for attention.

Anonymous

As I remember his story and how he decided to become a transexual it was confusing.  It seems like he evolved.  Some transexuals on a previous show said they new from a very, very young age...even as young as 4 and 5 yo.  He was a beautiful woman.  I believe his father made him do modeling and he lost his mom when he was young....maybe 12 yo..can't remember.  Her presence was very important to him because, as I remember, he said his dad was not "present" as much until his mom died.  It was really quite an unusual story.  I don't know if Oprah has a video on her sight that can be viewed.

Shirley

NoH8

That's interesting-- people don't usually decide to become transexual any more than they decide to become gay-- they just are and they know from a very young age, as you said,3-4. The loss of a parent or other situational traumas don't play into things. I wish I had seen the Oprah show.

motheroffoursons

A lot of women on this site have had bilateral mastectomies and are taking anti-estrogen medicines.  Women also produce testosterone  Based on his/her definition of sex change,  maybe a lot of us are morphing into men in the long run!

In all reality, this is just a case of a woman having a baby.

I think all this attention on an individual who is so messed up that he/she vaciliates between sexes during his/her adult lifetime, is ridiculous. Choose a sex and embrace it.  I feel sorry for the child who is going to be born into an unstable situation where the parents want to gain finanically from this (book deal) and the child is wide open for the cruel comments of other children.

Pehaps in 20 years Oprah will have a really messed up individual on her program in a segment entitled "My mother has a penis."

NoH8

I couldn't find any articles, but on gay usa they reported that Beattie is in potential legal trouble from both the state and federal governments due to his publicity. He's being investigated for tax fraud, because of having filed jointly with his wife and general fraud from the state because he's not (biologically) a man and questions over the legality of him changing his sex due to the fact that he's now pregnant.

holly77

If they love their child...that will be all that matters. Not who had the child. Yeah it looked kinda weird...lol but kinda sweet at the same time that he wanted to give birth to their child, especially if his wife was unable to for some reason. I give kudos to them for having courage to stand up and say...who cares...we will love our child.

NoH8

I heard on the news that the little girl was born by C-section a few days ago. Let's hope they stay out of the spotlight for the sake  of the kids.

rayne_23

i dont' understand how an embryo would take...in someone whom that has taken enough Testosterone over time to change his gender.

i guess i'm a little jealous and confused:

i'm a total femme and i don't even have enough estrogen in me to have a child.