23 year old dil has stage 3 bc

marque

23 year old dil has stage 3 bc

marque

My beautiful 23 year old daughter in law has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  She had the lump removed today and we are waiting for the results to come back...other tests.  They told my son it is stage 3 and that it had encased the lymph nodes (? no clue what that means).  She will need radiation and chemo (doctor said a low dose of chemo).  We will see...move info will be coming as the tests come in.  How can I help her?  I'm in Florida, shes in VA. 

thanx

marque 

TenderIsOurMight

News like yours and another 20 year old just diagnosed defies comprehension. We've come far with dx and treatment of breast cancer, yet clearly, its frequency in younger age groups just keeps growing. It breaks my heart at any age. 20 and 23 is just unfathomable.



Your daughter in law might seek a comprehensive cancer center or university based centers, which have some frequency in dealing with young women and men with bc diagnosis. Here is a list of some:http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/cancer_centers/cancer-centers-list.htm



She and you may wish to visit the Young Survival Coalition for young people with cancer diagnosis.



Just talking and staying in touch is a world of support to us all. Perhaps she may like to visit here too, as there are many struggling at a young age with this diagnosis, and many oldbies who can share hope based on experience which breast cancer treatments provide.



We're there to walk this journey with you,

Tender

BethNY

The first thing I would advise you to do, is to learn about the stage/grade/ and tumor characteristics of your DIL's cancer.  On the home page of bc.org you will find a ton of info, that is reliable and up to date. Just scroll to the top of the page, and you'll see all of the options.

Second, when a family member gets a cancer diagnosis, everything seems to happen to fast.  information overload, combined with making decisions where there is no right or wrong, just risks vs benefits... it's hard, scary, and frustrating at first.

But it won't be like this forever.

I was diagnosed at age 26, and I know my family was in shock.  I can't imagine how my mom felt, but I know if given the chance she would've gladly changed places with me.

But you just get through it.  You find the right support team, and you make it through.  And there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and a lot of life to live after cancer.

Here's some good resources:

www.youngsurvival.org

the book Fighting for our future by Beth Murphy

the book Why I wore Liptick to my mastectomy by Geralyn Lucas

and for info on breast reconstruction www.breastreconstruction.org

The best thing you can do since you're far away from her, is get educated, so you can stay on top of the medical treatments and words that are going on.  Send cards, warm blankets... you can find other tips throughout these boards for what to send people after surgery, and during chemo.

I know this won't calm your fears, but four years ago, I thought, wow, I may not live to see 30.  What if I can't have babies?  I'm losing my hair, and my breasts... I was living in a parallel universe.

However, I'm 30, healthy, can have babies, have great breasts, and a really bright future ahead.  Breast cancer will change her life-- but it won't claim her life-- she'll push through treatments with the support of family and friends, and other girls with cancer, and there will be life after cancer...