How I am weaning from bc

trigeek

How I am weaning from bc

trigeek

Ok so how do we 'move on ??' I find myself thinking about bc while driving, at work, in the middle of the night, at the movies... you got the picture.

Then I thought of something. I will forbid my mind to think about anything related to cancer at certain places/doing certain actions. Then I will add on to the list until I am bc free ! I did not find it possible  'not think about bc at all' suddenly, it is as if I became addicted to bc stuff .. not good ! So this is the way I am planning to wean myself.

First I forbid myself to think about bc at my kundalini yoga session.

Then I added the rule that I am not allowed to think about it in the bedroom.

Then I added the rule that I am not allowed to think about bc while biking.

Hopefully one day this list will include everything in my life..

Aylin

Smile !!

Anonymous

Aylin....If you're anything like me, it may take awhile but it will happen. I'm 2 years out of treatment and have been NED so far. Though I continue to hang on these boards and my conversation doesn't avoid the topic, I can truthfully say that I don't really think about it on its own much or spend any time afraid of recurrence (except when symptoms arise and I try to be proative and vigilant there). I can't really explain it....BC is an important part of me now, one I've incorporated into the person who makes up "me," but most of the time, it's just one more characteristic, like my physical attributes, my political leanings, my religion and my emotional makeup. I do like your plan though. Whenever I want to make some sort of change in my behavior or mindset, I usually do just that....develop an action plan with steps that will incrementally bring me closer to the overall goal.

~Marin

AnneW

It took me a few years to realize that I wasn't thinking about bc constantly, and I did not need "forced" time outs from it. Be patient with yourself. It will happen. I remember wondering the same thing when I was in your stage of recovery.

You can't block it from your mind, perhaps, but "moving beyond" is also about accepting it and living your life with your "new" normal.

Hang in there. Trust me, it gets better.

Anne

lbmt

hi

with me it left such an impact,

that i have started reaching out to other girls beginning

the journey, sometimes they just need encouragement

other times, prayers, and sometimes info

but all in all it has helped me, more than i would have ever

dreamed,  one of my friends would say

i have a friend and she has just been dx, would you email her

and so,,,it started from there, i have been emailing girls ever since then, i am a little over one year since

it all began, and so for me its a blessing, that my life still at times

revovles around bc

hugs,,lbmt

candie1971

I finished tx in March of 2007 after doing chemo and rads. I hang around here to encourage those newly diagnosed. to pray with those who have recurrences and yes, there is life after bc.Only it's different as only you all know. This is the only place I can go where I can be who I am and you all understand. Also, cause I need all you wonderful sisters to stay in my life to help me with fears I may have. You have all impacted my life in such a way that I can never leave. God bless you all!!Life may not be the party we hoped for..but while we are here, we might as well dance.

MargaretB

In a sense, I can't get away from bc.  Unfortunately, I have had way too many friends hear the words "you have cancer."  So without ever intending to, I found myself counseling my friends.

I keep coming back here because I have friends that I want to keep in touch with and hear about.

I agree with Candi - life may not be the party we hoped for..but while we are here, we might as well dance. 

mailman

I am in total agreement with others whom mentioned a plan.  About ten years ago I came down with a OCD.  I allowed a few sx's , (not helped by my visit to the internet and doing some self dx) to push me into a OCD.  It was hell and I put all others in hell with me.  I ended up taking some paxil and some buspar which allowed me to get it under control but it took a long time.  I then promised myself to never again allow myself to become so obsessed over any issue regardless of origin.  I came to this conclusion because worry doesn't change anything.  It truly does not empower you with any more control over an issue and thus it takes away (robs) from energy that could be used in  productivity.  Rather than waste energy on destructive activities I chose to focus and channel my energy on productivity. I know its easier said  than done, etc.  That  doesn't change the reality of the nature of stress and its role in our lives.  So when I now encounter issues that I know will be time consuming, full of lots of stress, heart ache, etc.  I assign the time that I am going allocate to that particular issue to a specific time slot for the week.  I give it all I have during that time but when the time is over ,  it's OVER.  It the tasks or issue isn't resolved I set aside more time after I have done the healthy activites as well.  As with many things in life,  balance is the key. So,  with BC (I don't have it but I have other issues_) I would urge women to schedule the time for bc related activities but also schedule other time for other activities so that your life doesn't become so skewed in terms of the scale.  Yes,  at times BC has to a very large part of the day.  But,  when you have the ability to balance out life and all that goes with it then you are on the right path.  This is my opinion and I know its easier  said than done but it's what I believe to be healthy for those of us facing health related issues.

lbmt

candie,

i ended my treatment in march of 07 also,

it is good to meet you, and you are so right this is the

place we all can be ourselves and i am so thankful for

all my bc sisters,laurie

roseg

I think it takes a couple of years to fade. You need to be gentle with yourself. You'll give those thoughts up on your own terms. So many people feel so out of control about their cancer, giving themselves persmission to let go on their own timeframe can be a relief. 

Dansmom

Can someone explain what a "new normal" means - I mean what it really means.  Like what exactly is different?  This may sound like a bizarre question, but I really am curious.

Anonymous

When I talk about a "new normal," I mean a different perspective, an altered awareness of myself and my own existence, one that acknowledges and incorporates a solid knowing that I am, after all, mortal. Before BC, I never truly sat with that knowledge and, instead, lived rather fancifully and naively. I was innocent. Now I'm not.

~Marin

Maire67

I,

AnneW

For me, "new normal" is like this: I live a normal life, like I did before, but now I have this awareness about cancer in my life, and all the things that go with it--fears, appointments, medicines, and friends. I have found that with cancer, life for me goes on, but not quite as before. Nonetheless, it's pretty normal. MY normal, now.

Clear as mud. It's hard to explain. I'll try again. Cancer means things will never be the same for me. So I have a new way of looking at life and living it. Not better, not worse. Just different.

Anne