Adoption

lv2trvl214

Adoption

lv2trvl214

Hi.

I was wondering if anyone pursued adoption avenues that did not have a restriction on how long you have been cancer-free. My husband and I have only been married a little over a year in which time I was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a lumpectomy, completed radiation and am now on tamoxifen. I just turned 40 so waiting 5 years to start a family is really not an option. We starting pursuing adooption and was told that I needed to be cancer free for 5 years before being considered. I know all agencies will not have the same restrictions, but I was hoping to obtain some information on avenues others pursued where they didn't encounter these restrictions.

Any information is greatly appreciated!!!

Laura

ADK

Hi Laura,

I have not done this, but my cousin and his wife wanted desperately to adopt.  They explored many avenues and were running into problems because my cousin was over 40 (you cannot adopt a baby from Korea for example if you are over 40).  They went the international route and found that they could adopt a Russian child.  They adopted a baby boy (about 6 months old) in 2005 and in 2007, adopted an older boy (about 10).  There was no cancer issue with them, just my cousin's age.  Just throwing it out there for you.

koshka1

Laura,

I am facing the same situation.  I am 39, just got married when I was 37 and found out I had breast cancer when I was 39, and just about to start a family.

I am struggling w/ the idea of taking and not taking tamoxifin.  Scared NOT to take it, but then if I do take it can't have kids.

I am in Canada, and have no idea what the adoption rules are, so I would be interested to hear if you found out further information, whether it be international or local.

Hugs and Luv....

Kosh.....

LorenaB

Hmm, that is a good question.  I have a friend who used to be an adoption social worker -- I'm going to see her tomorrow and I'll see if she knows anything about this.

I am 41 and a single mom to a 7 year old.  I've always wanted to have a second child -- it's not going to happen biologically now (chemo is probably going to put me into menopause ) but I am still considering the possibility of adoption someday.  I am leaning towards international, perhaps from somewhere in Latin America because my son is half Colombian.

lv2trvl214

Hi all,

I know its been forever but I wanted to let you all know that we adopted a baby girl last November.

We found an agency that accepted us as long as our doctor gave me a clean bill of health (I was Stage I and my doctor gave me a normal life expectancy after treatment).

Interestingly enough, international adoption was much stricter on health issues. You have to be cancer free for five years. We therefore chose the domestic route and within 7 months of applying, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our lives!

 We are so thankful it was an option for us. I am now experiencing some issues with my uterus and ovaries and will have a hysterectomy in the next few weeks. It would be much more upsetting if we didn't already have a beautiful baby girl!

Good luck to all! 

Lauren3

Congrats on your baby girl! 

I am full of questions about adoption so I'm glad you brought this thread back to life.  I had no idea there was a 5 year wait for international adoption.  This could change everything for us potentially.  I'm still in treatment but I do think of this a lot.  It gives me something good to focus on anyway.

I wish you luck with your hysterectomy.

cancerkicker

Join the yahoo group adoption after cancer - lots of good info there.

Lauren3

Joined it, thank you!

ryder

Wow, congrats on  your new addition, that is so exciting!

I am also exploring options, as I was beginning ivf treatments when I was diagnosed, likely a result of fertility drugs.  My ob/gyn has suggested I do a donor cycle, which can still be done if I go into menopause.  My first tx was Sept 3, and I just had a period, so no meno as of yet!

Good luck to all of you

lv2trvl214

I am happy to provide any info if anyone is interested. I know how overwhelming it was when I first started researching it. So many doors were being closed but it made us want it more!  It was certainly a tough time accepting the fact that we wouldn't be able to have our own child, but now that we have her, I couldn't imagine it any differently!! 

johall27

Thank you! I am so happy for you about your daughter. I was diagnosed at age 32 and am now 34. I had chemo, radiation, still on tamoxifen and lupron. I am afraid to stop the drugs and excited about the idea of adoption. My husband and I are eager to start the process and I cannot imagine waiting for 5 years. We have mostly been researching Russian adoption. It is all so much more complicated than I expected. We have several friends and aquaintances who have adopted from Russia, all of whom had similar  backgrounds and support systems to our own, so we naively thought we would have the same opportunities as them. They however, were not cancer survivors. I had no idea it would be such a big deal since my prognosis is good and I am currently cancer-free. Perhaps we should give more thought to domestic adoption. We have been running into a lot of discrimination in our international adoption research due to my cancer history. I am wondering if you could share the name of the agency you used that did not require a 5 year wait? I just joined the yahoo group and am hoping to find information there, too. Thanks to all who recommended that. So happy to have finally found others who understand my frustration, and sending best wishes to all for positive outcomes!

shadow2356

Hello! I was doing IVF to try for a second child right up to my diagnosis. Obviously that is over. I think I might try the surrogate and egg donor route after this is all over.. It is about the same cost as adoption but really there are no restrictions such as 5 years cancer free. If you go to surro moms online you can read a lot about it.

Good luck to everyone.

lv2trvl214

Hi

We used American Adoptions - americanadoptions.com

I had to get a letter from my doctor/oncologist stating that I had a normal life expectancy and was in good health. Once that was cleared, everything went smoothly! We found the same restrictions in international adoption and reluctantly went with domestic adoption. As we were further into the process we heard about some international programs closing down and people waiting for years. We were so happy we ended up going the route we did. We had called this year to check on the waiting period, etc as we were considering doing it again. It seems to be a really good time to adopt if you can afford it. Sadly, in this economy, most can't and birthmoms can't afford to keep their babies either, so we were told it was a very short wait. Good luck!!!