How to Get Out There Again

laurieo

How to Get Out There Again

laurieo

Hi all.  Here I am - stage iv breast cancer (but feeling good and currently NED!!), almost divorced and I would like to get out there again.  Where do you meet decent men?

I'm on SSA disability, so I don't work.  I have lots of girlfriends, but after being married for over 20 years, I'm pretty clueless about how to proceed.

The online dating thing scares me.  Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks-

Laurie

Anonymous

Well, Laurie, there's online dating and there's hoping for a miracle. No, not really, I'm just (sorta) kidding. I was determined not to go the online route because of all of the horror stories and also because it seemed so scary and contrived to me. I mean, it's one thing to be "rejected" in a bar or after a blind date, but it seemed too humiliating to me to be rejected by these online "losers."  So instead I just dated every bozo I met in real life and ended up in a 2-year on & off again relationship with a guy who was critical and extremely immature. I was busy having cancer, so I didn't really notice or care. Once I woke up, though, I vowed to search for a "real" man, one who was emotionally mature and courageous and who really wanted me and respected me. And that's when online meet-ups seemed to become acceptable to me. I finally had confidence in what I was looking for and what my personal boundaries would be. I just knew myself and my goals and looked forward to the search. It's really worked out for me, so I'm happy to have had the courage and energy to pursue it and would do it again if I have to.

If you really want to avoid this method, local meet-ups are one other way to meet men. Go to http://www.meetup.com/ and type in your city or zip and you can peruse all of the common interest groups available or even start your own. I've heard good stories come from these. I really can't think of another way to meet men other than the "usual"...church, book clubs, lectures, dances & bars and, of course, your local hardware or home imporovement store (hang out by the power tools and ask cute guys questions about how to use them ).

Good luck and let us know how it goes! And welcome to the singles world....it's awesome and oh-so-liberating!!!!

~Marin

wishiwere

bumping

jdash

MEETUP is a great idea  i did online dating and it worked for me mostly- a few bad dates but you get those not matter how you meet

i just got a puppy and took him to a dog park  wow!  what a great way to meet alot of nice people - everyone is sooo friendly

jdash

MEETUP is a great idea  i did online dating and it worked for me mostly- a few bad dates but you get those not matter how you meet

i just got a puppy and took him to a dog park  wow!  what a great way to meet alot of nice people - everyone is sooo friendly

jdash

MEETUP is a great idea  i did online dating and it worked for me mostly- a few bad dates but you get those not matter how you meet

i just got a puppy and took him to a dog park  wow!  what a great way to meet alot of nice people - everyone is sooo friendly

LorenaB

Believe it or not, I met my boyfriend through one of the online dating sites (match.com).  Well, sort of.  We started emailing and soon realized that we were neighbors -- we actually live in the same condo complex!  Then we stopped corresponding because I had a brief, trial reconciliation with my husband -- when I realized that wasn't going to work, I contacted him again, figuring that it would be nice to know a neighbor who was also a single parent.  That was almost exactly a year ago.  Of course, this was pre-bc.  And I have friends who have not had any luck with this route.  In my opinion, if you are just looking to meet new people and get out in the dating world again, the online dating scene is a very practical way to start (as long as you are careful and read between the lines -- e.g. my friend was emailing with a guy who wanted to "play" -- hmm, what do you think that means?).  It can be fun and exciting.  But if you are looking for your life partner and evaluate every email and date in terms of whether it will bring you closer to finding that person, you are likely to be disappointed.  Just my personal opinion!

Oh yeah, dogs and kids are great ways to meet neighbors!

Sierra

Hi Laurie:



I am not sure what age bracket you are in

so..



If you want to try a site, I would try

one of the free ones, such as PlentyofFish.com

just try it for fun..



Further, I agree with the above poster

about evaluating each and every e mail

You can screen to a point, but really need to

talk to people and meet them



Also, as we get older, situations change

and it can be more difficult



I have met a few very nice men

but am friends only, and like it that way

They are quite a bit older, but .. very active

and loyal, which is most important to me. A good friend



What are your activities, I like to hike

so seek out younger seniors hiking trips

birding clubs, etc.



Lavalife is one

Senior Friendfinder another (not sure what age brackets this is

50 maybe or 55)



Best on this



PM.. any time



)



I do not feel we can wait

for that perfect person

Time is of the essence

While you want a good match

there will always be something

amiss