VALENTINES DAY

jdash

VALENTINES DAY

jdash

valentines day is a great day when you have someone special to share it with this year i feel blessed that i have a wonderful guy in my life but what about all our sisters that dont right now any good suggestions on how to spend vday and make it special without "a man"

Anonymous

How about some good self-lovin'? Uh, NO, I don't mean that, y'all....I mean how about a day spent totally pampering yourself...a long, leisurely, lazy morning in bed with a rich cup of coffee, a perfect bowl of fruit or whatever you like (danish, pancakes, bagel, cold pizza?) and a juicy magazine or novel. Then a day trip to the spa or a wonderful yoga class, run, or swim - and then the jacuzzi and spa. A massage is essential, of course. Hang about in a coffee shop with your laptop, maybe, or spend the afternoon at the movies (chick flick, of course) with a bucket of popcorn. Evening...starting with the finest wine you can afford accopanied by a beautiful cheese, a bowl of cashews and some rockin' music, then dining on your most decadent, delectable foods (I'd have to pick lobster, but steak lovers..?). And then, of course, the chocolate....oh, the chocolate! Long, candlelit bubble bath (more wine here, my girls) and lights out....with Mr. Hitachi!

I also have a man this year (absolutely a first, as you all know), but this shit sounds so awesome....hmmmmmm?

~Marin 

cmb35

Love this forum in general, and jdash, thanks for thinking of this thread...

Marin - I read about you all the time (is that weird? I'm sorry if it is, but in many ways, you are my hero! ) You helped out once, long ago, when I was in rads. You probably don't even remember it, but I do.

Anyway, guess what I'm doing this Valentine's Day!?!?!?!? I'm getting on a plane at 9am and flying with 2 girlfriends to the Bahamas! OK, so it was a coincidence that it's Valentine's Day. And yes, the 2 girlfriends have loving and adoring husbands, and I am tragically single. (I had a tragic dating life long before bc came into the picture, and it continues after bc. LOL) But whatever, I'm going to the Bahamas. No kids. Just us grown-up girls. For 5 whole days. Happy Valentine's Day to me!

As far as ideas, as I'm assuming most of you don't have a friend with a husband that cashed in all his points to get a hotel room in the Bahamas for his wife and told her to invite a few friends, all they have to pay for is airfare (I wasn't kidding when I said adoring husbands!), I'm with Marin, pamper yourself big time. And maybe try something solo that you haven't before? I have this weird thing about going to the movies alone. Up until a few months ago, I had never done it. Now, I have plenty of friends, but it sometimes happens that on my non-Warren (my son) weekends, I might feel like going to the movies, and no one is available to go. After having a conversation with a good friend who said, "now let me get this straight, you were strong/brave enough to beat bc, including saying 4 months of chemo was "not that bad" (OK, so I lied! LOL), but you're afraid to go to the movies by yourself? Just think about that!" I took the plunge and went to a movie by myself. I have to admit, I was nervous driving there (went to the little funky theater, not the giant multiplex), and felt weird and a little bit self-conscious standing in line. When the movie ended and I stood up to leave, I "realized" that I was by myself, had completely lost track of that little fact as I was enjoying the movie, the french with subtitles movie that I would have been hardpressed to find someone to go with btw. I know how completely pathetic it sounds, but I was so proud of myself! I mean, you would have thought I had accomplished something huge. It was just overcoming a weird irrational fear/neurosis, and who doesn't like to beat things?

OK, this post is too weird for words! Maybe this is why I don't post much! LOL But I'm going to leave it anyway.

As my 11 year old son would say, "peas" (as in "peace", he thinks that's really hysterical for some reason!)

Anonymous

Oh cmb (colleen?), thanks so much for your kind words! I do remember you! And as for the solo movie-viewing, I actually went through the same angst "my first time"....so either you're not being weird at all or we're both weird ! I remember that my first solo film was The Family Stone. I have since seen several movies alone and enjoyed each one, along with huge buckets of popcorn, which I didn't have to consult anyone on regarding if/how much butter....I asked for a ton! Also, about your son's "peas," it reminds me of a bumper sticker/T-shirt slogan I saw...."Create Whirled Peas"....I loved it!!!

OK, back to Valentine's Day.....my man already gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers as an early gift and has been trying to determine what else I'd like. He said he's considering lingerie and/or a sex toy (does this man know me already or what? ). I told him I just want HIM, which is true but, let's face it, I'd be disappointed that he didn't want to give me a little something romantic. Anyway, we're celebrating on Friday and I've already bought a kit with edible chocolate and strawbery body paint...... Then, I bought a V Day gift bag and an assortment of candies and a nut mixture, a pair of boxer shorts with little hearts all over, some Godiva chocolates, a tin of red hots and am creating a coupon booklet for him out of pink construction paper, with each page a coupon for something I can do for him, from a massage to cooking a meal to an earth-moving BJ, etc. I'm curious as to what everyone else is doing, if you have a SO or if you don't..? So far, I'd say the trip to the Bahamas trumps all!

~Marin

cmb35

Hey Marin,

Yes, Colleen. That's so funny about the movies, I guess you either have a thing with that or you don't!

Sounds like your guy is still swell, I'm so glad for you. You seem like you are well-equipped for a kick-ass Valentine's Day (and night!)

Colleen

BethNY

Marin-- with the coupon book, if you have time, I would add stick figure drawings to accompany each coupon... you don't need an artist's hand, and the drawings get very funny.

We are seriously not doing anything for V-day. I'm so swamped with work, and my idea of a romantic night is some snuggle time on the couch. Of course I'll get him a card... but that's the extent of our big v-day.  We're going to the jeweler for the final fitting of my ring this Saturday. That's when the true excitment  begins.

jdash

marin i am ahead of you ! hahah i gave nick a coupon book for his birthday! but i didnt make it i bought it and he loved it - we went out to dinner with a bunch of his friends and he was so proud he showed it off at the table lol and of course all the guys loved it but they are all married and i thought their wives were not as amused

i am thinking of something fun to do but havent got around to the planning yet

thougt this thread would get more attention then it did - well i do hope that all of us here

single or with men have a wonderful valentines day

xoxox

Anonymous

Cool, jdash. I got the idea because I used to make coupon booklets for my daughter on various occasions and since I'm pretty broke, I thought it could convey how generous I'd like to be if I could, ya know? And I love Beth's idea about the stick drawings (especially for the BJ coupon, huh? ).

Maybe most people just don't celebrate V Day. Since this is my first year doing so, I'd be where they are now if I hadn't met J. My last boyfriend was so pathetic, it wasn't worth getting psyched about....just led to disappointment. But I KNOW that this year is completely different...yay!

So I bought some edible body paint (a chocolate tube and a strawberry one) and plan to wear the red satin corset with black stockings, etc. over to his house on Friday evening under work clothes (I'm going there after work, but will actually stop home to get babed up). Black boots maybe too....

~Marin

BethNY

Marin are you experienced with bedroom "edibles"?

If not, LESS IS BETTER.  Things get VERY STICKY. Like out of control sticky.

(I can't believe I'm admitting this... but one time I got a sour apple flavored c*ck ring and that was a trip in bed).

I digress.

Anyway, avoid over stickiness--- put on exactly what you plan on licking off, and REMEMBER, less is better.

My mom always made valentines day special.  My dad rolled out when we were 5,7,9,10.  Every V-day, my mom would leave a brown paper bag (like the one she would pack our lunch in) by our beds, full of candy, and hersheys kisses, and heart shaped stickers, etc...

It was always so special, and we looked forward to it every year.

I told that to my best friends years ago, when her babies were 3 and 4, and she started doing it every year...makes me smile just thinking about it.

newvickie

roflmbo...you girls are having too much fun...

being single sucks sometimes (as I'm imagining sour apple things LOL)

Anonymous

Actually, Beth, I'm not experienced with edible stuff for sex unless you count Altoid BJ's . So I appreciate the tip. He has a new Sleep Number king size bed and it would be awful to get anything on it that can't be washed out. So, "less is better," huh?

I also gave my daughter a bagful of goodies...everything red...every V Day. That's actually where I got the idea for a coupon book since I'd usually include one of those. Her bag would be filled with red pencils, stickers, red shoelaces, bows, candies, etc. She loved it!

~Marin

BethNY

I am so glad I said something to you... put on exactly what you will lick off--- trust me...

joykeeperorg

Hi ladies well since V day is my B day and I dont have someone special my co workers have planned a whole day for me Movies, Dinner at Benihana's and go to the Margarita lounge Im so excited!

jdash

beth i am sooo glad you said that being a single mom i always tried to make v day special for my daughter and i hope she has all those fond memories

marin i bought this coupon book at this store and it had all these "fun" coupons for great BJ's it was very cute and my boyfriend got such a kick out of it of course he never wants to surrender one of his coupons

LOL

as far as all that edible stuff goes = i hate it all ! i bought this whipped cream stuff and i am so not a sweet person so all of that is so unappealing to me ~ it can be lots of fun though

i did the body painting years ago with a very special guy (it washed off in bath ) and it was lots of fun i love lots of candles and anything you do for your man that is special to him is fun

enjoy valentines day all

AnnNYC

Well, whatever I do this year on Valentine's Day oughta be a big improvement over last year's fine needle aspiration!!!  Even though boyfriend has to be away ...

Happy Valentine's Day to all, plus Happy Birthday to Chantal!

Ann

lvtwoqlt

Ann, your Valentine's day sounds a lot like the Valentine's day I had in 2005. I had my first sterotactic biopsy (b-9 ADH) then had lumpectomy April Fools day. What a way to remember holidays.

Sheila

AnnNYC

Hi Sheila -- we'd better at least eat some chocolate on Thursday to build some better V-Day memories!!!

Ann

lvtwoqlt

I've got my large hershey with carmel bar ready!

sheila

Anonymous

Hey y'all....I found this recipe on Sparkpeople and thought it looked yummy....

Cupids Pillows

Flaky, pre-made puff pastry with gourmet chocolate and sweet, romantic berries make for an easy, quick and perfect Valentine's treat for couples everywhere.
57 Minutes to Prepare and Cook

Ingredients

1 pkg. (17.3 oz.) puff pastry sheets (2 sheets), thawed
1 egg white
3/4 cup good-quality semi-sweet chocolate chunks
2 cups fresh or frozen raspberries, pitted cherries, or chopped strawberries (or a mixture)

Directions

Roll a single puff pastry sheet into about a 16" square.
Brush pastry lightly with egg white.
Cut pastry sheet into sixteen 4"x4" squares.
Place about 1 tsp. chocolate and one or two raspberries in center of each square.
Fold to form a triangle and press firmly on both edges with a fork or pastry crimper to seal.
Prick the centre of the pastry with a fork
Repeat with remaining pastry sheet, chocolate and raspberries.
Put filled pastries onto large un-greased sheets. Freeze 30 minimum minutes.
Pastries can be fully frozen individually at this point and sealed in a heavy-duty bag for later use.
Preheat oven to 375°F.
Bake 17 min. or until puffed and golden.

Number of Servings: 16

ENJOY!!!

~Marin

BethNY

Well if I cooked, I might attempt the above mentioned recipe.

HAPPY V-DAY GIRLS!!!

Anonymous

Yeah, well don't look at me! It took me 2 years in my house before I ever turned on the oven! 28 years of cooking for a family has left me scarred indeed. But J is all about the cooking, though not so much baking. I'm headed for Godiva's after work today....why cook when you can buy ready-made heavenly treats?

I also hope that everyone has a lovely celebration, whether with a man or with that other Special Someone...yourself! I heard on GMA this morning that some huge number of people send themselves V Day cards and I thought how awesome is that? Yesssss!

~Marin

LorenaB

Ack, I think V-day is overrated.  I was single for sooooo many years and the only person who ever sent me a valentine's card was my grandma.  It felt like a holiday that was created to make single people feel excluded and lonely.  Even though I was married for 9 years and have a boyfriend at the moment, I still feel like it wouldn't be right to dive into the whole commercial holiday and pay big bucks for a mediocre dinner with red candles on the table.

I actually had a terrible day today.  My 7-year-old son has been sick since Saturday, so I've been trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to work from home with those awful cartoons in the background.  Today I brought my son into work with me and then to my pre-surgery appointment with the nurse practitioner (2nd surgery -- axillary dissection plus taking additional tissue).  My ex USED TO be great about splitting the child care with me when our son got sick, but now he and his gf have a brand new baby and of course he can't bring a sick child into their home (do I sound pissed off? who, me???).  Lumpectomy was 3 weeks ago, but my breast is sore and red -- the nurse looked at it and diagnosed me with cellulitis.  So now I'm on antibiotics.  Plus I have some weird rash on my arms and legs that doesn't seem related to anything else, and it's starting to itch.  maybe it's stress-related?  And my son's temp went back up to 103 today. UGH.

Anyway, my boyfriend has been very sympathetic to my woes this week (he's also a parent).  Tonight he suprised me with a whole bunch of really thoughtful gifts -- one of those connector thingies to listen to my ipod in the car, earrings, a forehead thermometer for me to use on my son, and the last 8 red roses in the flower shop.  And this morning he sent me an ecard -- sweet, but he managed to find one of the only v-day cards that doesn't say "I love you."  Gifts are nice but they don't replace heartfelt sentiments and passion (he's getting over a cold and is so darn practical, there wasn't a chance of any hanky panky happening tonight, phooey!). 

He's gotten better at supporting me emotionally over the past couple of months, and I don't think he's going to jump ship when I start chemo in March and he has to deal with me bald and pukey.  But every once in a while, I wonder if he's staying with me because he would feel bad about dumping a woman with cancer.  He's a nice guy who always does "the right thing" -- maybe he's just sticking with me because it would be rotten not to?  (I've never said this out loud and I don't even know you ladies yet, but I'm wondering if anyone has ever felt this way about a significant other.)

Lauren

Anonymous

Lauren....Although you might feel alone and unusual in that worry about whether your bf sticks with you out of guilt, lemme tell you that many of us has had similar thoughts. My bf throughout my treatments (I have since broken up with him and found a great guy) seemed very devoted to me and I sometimes thought he took my situation almost too casually. And, oddly, once I completely finished and started to feel strong and more self-reliant, he actually began to act strange and started picking fights with me and being really contrary and difficult. It was like he only wanted me when I was dependent and weak because that made him feel powerful. So even though that's not exactly what you fear, the bottom line is that our treatments make us different people and we get scared that those we are close to won't accept the changes we need to go through. Chances are, of course, that you'll weather the storm together and be stronger for it, so why not forge ahead assuming it's gonna be fine. Sounds like you have enough on your plate right now that you don't need to fret about the future too, right?

I hope that your tomorrow is better (at least it's not a holiday!) and that you get some lovin' from your bf when he feels better!

~Marin

Anonymous

Lauren, I want to thoughtfully respond to your post and I will later on ... I have read it but want to think about it and you ...  congrats on being cancer free for now!!

I really came here in this thread to say what my dd had to say this a.m. ..

She said, " Mommy, I didn't make you a Valentine but if I did, here is what it would say:  Happy Valentine's and I'm glad you didn't die from chemo."

I think the translation is: I am so glad you are here today with me!!!!  (she is 6 .. she was 4 when this all started and mommy ended bald .. vocabulary of 4 year olds can't express what they truly fear and also, I don't think she knew what we were up against.  Right now she "get's it" and she is so happy we are out of the chemo/taxol/herceptin (I started chemo in Oct 2005 and finished Herceptin in March 2007) ...  

She is my rock and I am hers.....

WildRose

Sort of a post-game wrapup of my Valentine's Day:

Had an argument on Messenger with "sort-of" boyfriend
Went to doctor's appointment. News wasn't all bad but he did remind me that I might also need radiation to the node area if too many of them come back positive
Went to the supermarket with a lot of help from my friend
Watched some "Red Dwarf" episodes on Netflix, then something on Jacques Derrida (his theories are good but the video was boring)
Ate some ice cream
Went to bed early 

AnnNYC

Rocktobermom -- is that your dad with your daughter?  Both are so beautiful!

Lauren -- I know the feeling ("is he just staying with me because it's good form?") but personally I felt "damn right, it's good form, and I'm going to make the most of it while I'm getting it."  Had to remind myself of how often I made that decision -- to be happy BF was around for the worst -- once the worst was over and he was back to being "sort-of" boyfriend...

which brings me to WildRose!  I know that "sort-of" BF thing -- in fact I've been using that term for 9 years!!! -- I feel good that mine "rose to the occasion" during dx, mast and recovery -- whatever you decide to do about yours, I support you -- just make sure you cultivate the people who do support you.

Marin, Beth, Sheila, Chantal -- hope your V-days (and B-day) were great!

I had nice phone date with "sort-of" BF who is far away at work (musician)

and grilled a small organic steak for dinner, sauteed broccoli with olive oil & garlic, roasted potatoes with rosemary

and dark chocolate M&Ms

not bad! (yes, definitely beats FNA hands down!)

Ann

Anonymous

Well, it sounds like everyone did a little self-nurturing on V Day, so I say rock on for that!

My last bf was a "sort of" boyfriend because he didn't want to name the relationship and I couldn't think of any way to refer to him other than that 'sort of' category. IMO it's their loss.....

~Marin

Anonymous

Ann, yes that's my dad with my daughter.  They went to her FatherDaughter school dance together.

Anonymous

Got back from J's this afternoon and, all in all, had an awesome weekend! We did lots of kissing & touching & spent many hours in bed and it was just what I'd always wanted Valentine's Day to be! We ate chocolate and cooked yummy meals, cut up firewood and had fires, listened to lots of jazz and blues, went out for Thai food and even went to an RV sale, with J talking about "us" living in & traveling around in one ! Not very practical, from my viewpoint, but so cute that he was thinking that way.

It was the best V Day I've ever had, y'all! I think that after 55 years, it was about time, don't you?!!

~Marin

carolsd

Yup Marin, you shouldn't even have had to wait 55 years for it.

We had a special lunch meeting at work and everyone was supposed to mention their best Valentine's day ever. I couldn't even remember one! I was not alone; most of the folks did not have a memorable Valentine's day to talk about.

When I got home my b/f was cooking linguine with clam sauce, stuffed mushrooms, and baked zucchini and butternut squash. For dessert he had soaked some strawberries in Italian liqueur and they were amazing. It was wonderful! Of course he had the day off so he had time to get it all together, but it was just so sweet. Then we collapsed into bed for the icing on the cake, the "cherry on the sundae." It was a really nice day, nothing spectacular, but lovely.

Can't wait to hear more of your adventures, Marin.