Surgery in 2 weeks

lillyb

Surgery in 2 weeks

lillyb

Hello ladies. I have been following the conversations from afar and have mustered up the courage to ask for help. I am having surgery soon and I am so stressed about making the decision about mastectomy.I recently finished chemo. (stage II/III, triple neg., BRACA neg.) and had a very aggressive tumor. Because of this, I do not think a lumpectomy is a good choice for me. I have "signed up" for a bilateral without recon, but I continue to have significant doubts and fears. I know I need to do this and I am fairly certain that I don't want recon., at least not now. I am opting for bilateral, thinking that my life would be simpler with symmetry. I am very active in sports, scuba, etc. I think that I am just so scared about how I am going to feel after its done. I cannot seem to come to a peaceful place about the surgery. Damn it, no one should have to make this decision!

Erica3681

lillyb,

I'm sorry you're going through this. If you check out my website, BreastFree.org, and go to the "Personal Stories" section, you'll find "Mia's Story". I think you'll find it particularly relevant, as she had triple neg, aggressive cancer and shared the kind of concerns you express. I met her on this site!

Barbara 

caaclark

lillyb,

Yes, you are correct.  No one should have to make this decision but we have to play the hand we are dealt the best way we can.  I was also stage II/III.  I had a lumpectomy first, then chemo, then single mast (bad margins after lump.) and then rads.  I was very worried about how I would feel after surgery but it turns out I adjusted incredibly well.  I think there is a peace that comes with knowing I did what I had to do.  At the time of diagnosis (2 years ago this week) I had just turned 40.  My cancer was also aggressive (grade III).  I wish that I had had the mast. immediately instead of after chemo but my surgeon did not recommend that.  Once the lumpectomy was performed we realized that I had extensive DCIS along with the invasive component.

Definitely check out the breastfree site.  There are lots of us out there who have had masts without recon who are happy with our decisions.

lillyb

Thanks for the replies. I guess I am just having a lot of pre-surgery jitters. Reading other survivors stories does help a lot.

I have looked at the breastfree site and it is great. I am actually surprised at how most info is geared towards recon. at BC sites. I tried to talk about not getting recon at a support group, and they just changed the subject. Even the facilitator of the group overlooked my concerns. I had the feeling that it made them all uncomfortable. But of course they had all had recon. Go figure.

caaclark

lilly,

Yes, I had the same experience with a "support" group.  It was for women under 45 and when I said I was choosing not to reconstruct they all looked at me like I had 2 heads and then said, "Why wouldn't you reconstruct?"  Then they proceeded to try to convince me to change my mind.

I think that's why I have shared with many people that I chose no recon.  Like everything in this journey it is really a choice that only the person it affects can make.  People are shocked to find out that I have only one boob since both sides look exactly the same.

SusaninSF

Lilly,

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience at the support group. You have come to the right place here to find support for your decision, either way. I hope that, as many of us have experienced, the fear and anxiety of losing your breast is far worse than living without a breast. At first, at least for me, looking in the mirror at that scar where my breast used to be, really made me feel sad. But I just kept looking at it and now I don't feel bad at all about it.

Facing surgery is always terrifying but the recovery from a mast is much shorter if you don't have recon. If you decide you want recon later, that choice is always available.

Keep us up on how you're doing.

Hugs, Susan