Starting Chemo Tomorrow

nurse2b

Starting Chemo Tomorrow

nurse2b

Hi to all of my new TN friends,

I am a bit worried about tomorrow.  I was dx the day before Thanksgiving after finding a lump and having a lumpectomy 3 days before the holiday.   I had a bilateral mastectomy 4 weeks ago tomorrow, grade 3 stage 2, 11 nodes removed, node negative with some suspicious cells in one node and in the other breast.  The tumor was adhered to my chest wall so radiation to follow.

I am in my final semester of nursing school and going through a painful divorce after 18 years of marriage.  I think I have handled all of this very well, with a smile and my dignity somewhat intact.  Most of my friends coworkers and classmates call me an inspiration, but gang, I am freaking out here. 

I guess I knew what the surgery would be like, textbook..this, then this then that, but I am now going into the land of the unknown and I have no control.  It has finally hit...I HAVE BREAST CANCER and I am scared.  I am 48 and my kids are grown, well the youngest is 15 and they are all in denial, nobody talks about it or even asks how I am.  I am not afraid of dying, I am afraid of being sick and not being in control or worse not being able to finish my last semester of school.

I will be on Taxotere and Cytoxan, 4 cycles 3 weeks apart...any others on this cocktail that can share their experiences?

Thanks

CalGal

Hi Nurse2B -

You've really been give a lot to deal with ... I'm sorry to hear about the recent bc dx, painful divorce and family in denial ... 

As for chemo, I did dose dense AC and then Taxotere & Carboplatin; so although I have experience with the chemos you will do, I did not do that combo.   Chemo is do-able.   Just remember chemo is cumulative, so that while you may bounce right back after the first one, you will likely get more fatigued as it goes ...  I was fortunate and did not get too many side effects.

  

For me, the swelling side effect of Taxotere did not hit me until I flew cross-country!   Then, my feet to my thighs swole up.  I got orthopedic tights from my then-HMO and a prescription for Lasix.   The same thing happened to a friend of mine when she was on the same chemo combo.  So, if you're going to do any flying, I highly recommend preventative measures! 

For specific chemo and radiation tips and experiences, you should check out two threads here, one on chemo and one on rad'tn. 

As for your "in denial" family, what are your thoughts?  A family discussion?  Telling them what you need (emotional or task-specific)?  Looking for books that might help them and/or you?  Support group for you and/or them?

Best to you,

CalGal 

Angie59701

Hi Nurse 2B,

   I am starting my chemo tomorrow as well. I know how you feel with the unknown. I had my portacath inserted today and I got a little emotional because I realized that this was the last barrier between me and chemo. I agree the surgeries were easier to deal with. But my surgeon put it in a different light. We are one step closer to the end of treatment and removing the portacath. So remember, after tomorrow you are one step closer. Take each day one at a time.  My treatment will be TAC so I am not familiar with yours. One thing I did learn after the educational meeting with my nurse is that there is no such thing as a dumb question. She answered everything.

    In regard to your family. I agree that you may want to seek out a support group. My oldest is 14 and she does not openly talk about it. The other day I approached her and she asked a few questions. I noticed that the more I answered the more talkative she became. She still does not approach me easily, but when I ask she is ready with any questions . Good luck tomorrow and you are in my prayers.

watergirl

Your cocktail is fairly common, but alot of women get it every two weeks apart.  That would get your treatment done in 4 months instead of 6 which may help you with school.  Besides, the dose dense (every 2 weeks) has proven to be more effective than once every three weeks particularly for triple negatives.  Maybe you can chat with your oncologist about changing.  Many women have adjusted chemo dosage during treatment so it doesn't really matter that you have had one treatment at this time. 

FloridaLady

Ladies this is all so new to your love ones and they sometime take longer to adjust to each new phase.  I lost close contact with my sister who is my best friend about 3 months into it because she wanted to believe every negative thing she read and wanted me to give up. I think it was harder to deal with than treatment.

My christian support group is the best thing to come out of all this.  What great ladies.  Give it time and you will find many good days with some really not-so-good days in the coming months.

Living in hope,

FlaLady

NancyM

I just want to say that I hope all goes well for those of you just starting your chemo.  I finished treatment a little over 2 years ago and I agree with CalGal that the chemo and radiation specific threads are very helpful.  Getting to know some of the people on this site makes all the difference, as you have people who understand what you are going through that are "here" 24 hours a day.

One thing that helped me was the saying "The woman who finishes the race is not the same woman who started the race."  I don't know where I saw that, but I loved it and thought of it often during the difficult moments.  Best wishes to you both!

gramof4

Nurse2b,

Hi!  I sure know how you are feeling.  I was there a year ago.  I did not have your specific cocktail of drugs.  I just wanted to say hang in there sweetie, better days WILL come and you WILL be fine!  If I can do chemo and radiation, well cancer for that matter, anyone can.  Keep your head up and put one foot in front of the other. 

Joyce

guitarGrl

Nurse2b -



Sometimes the hardest thing about being sick isn't being sick, but in having to deal with other's reactions to your illness. Except for two cousins, none of my family even knows.



There are all kinds of families - sometimes the ones you meet online - especially a group like this where all of us are in the same situation - are more supportive than your own. Don't worry about the flesh & blood family right now. Worry about yourself & get support anyway you can. We are all here for you.