How do I cope with the fear?

julianna

How do I cope with the fear?

julianna

Please be patient with me, I've never been in a chat room and don't really know the etiquette.  But here's my story and question:

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago.  Of course I was scared but I handled it all, chemo, radiation, etc.  well.  My friends and family all called me "the rock." Now 5 years later I'm losing it. Basically my life has gotten back on track and the thought of cancer is not an every day thing.  Yet now everytime an issue with cancer comes up I start to fall apart at the seams.  Every doctor's visit, every test, mammo, sono, even self exams has me near or in tears. I was never like this.  Any suggestions on how to deal with this?  

Fitztwins

Hmmm. Prayer, wine, zoloft, focusing on other stuff. Letting my mind go there, deal with it and close the book.

Someone quoted this to me once. FEAR , you can Face Embrace and Recover or you can f *&^ Everything and RUN!

Hang in there, I would suggest a counselor. You might be experiencing depression.

Janis

Member_of_the_Club

Therapy and drugs. Many of us hit this particular wall earlier than you, but please don't accept this kind of suffering. First, find a good therapist. She or he will help you with tools to counter the fears. Second, consider meds. They can literally stop the runaway thoughts dead so you can get a handle on the situation. I was on effexor for a year and it gave me my life back. I've been fine since going off of it as well.

maryannecb

Sorry you are feeling like this Julianna.

Sometimes,stress can be felt much after the event.I bet you are obsessing because here you are at the mythical 5 year mark...

 If you truly can't shake this feeling you could try a vigourous exercise routine, seeking a good counsellor to talk about all you have been through and considering medical help if needed.

Fists up!

julianna

I've tried the wine and exercise thing.  Both help.  Along with copious bowls of Ben and Jerry's.  Any suggestions on just HOW to find a good counselor? I asked at the ACS on suggestions on how to find a counselor that deals with life threatening illness and they had no idea where to look.

Binney4

Hi, Julianna,

Is there a cancer support group near you? A woman joined our local group about three months ago with a story similar to yours. She realized after several years that she'd handled everything so well it was almost TOO well. Her approach was to put it all behind her as quickly as possible and to get on with her life. But then, like you, it caught up with her. So she started coming to the group for the sole purpose of finally acknowledging all she'd been through and all it had cost her. She's found substantial healing in dealing with it in this way, and now she's truly able to "move beyond".

On the other hand, Julianna, perhaps that's not your situation at all. I'm six years out and I still find that the tears come more easily now -- even surprising me when I think I'm going to be just fine. I've learned to carry kleenex with me.

Perhaps we will always find these bc reminders stressful. Perhaps that's not all bad. Considering the nature of the beast, it sure isn't unreasonable.

I hope you find peace with this. Hugs and prayers,

Binney 

marlegal

julianna, i hope you find a good counsellor/therapist, but i gotta tell you, i just love reading "five years" in any way, shape or form on these boards.   don't lost sight of that ... it truly is cause for celebration.

(((( hugs ))))

Mary (marlegal in chat)

chemo072

The cancer center at Prov. hospital in Portland has wonderful, experienced counselors, for free.  Is there a cancer ctr in a major hospital nr where you live?

julianna

Thanks AmyaM for the advice to check out the hospital.  I'll do that.

julianna

Goodness, Binney4, this sounded just like me.  I tried a support group about a year out but it was not right for me.   But after reading this, I think I'll try again.  Thanks

Julianna 

silvergirl9114

Julianna-



Where in Upstate are you? Hematology Oncology Associates of Central New York (Syracuse) maintain 2 social workers on staff for one on one counseling and they also have support groups every week. I'm not sure if these are limited to only their patients but even if that is the case, they should be able to refer you to support groups and therapists outside of the practice.



I am a mentor for women newly diagnosed with BC through this practice.



If you would like their phone number pls PM me. This is a very proactive practice---they also offer accupuncture, reiki, massage therapy, a nutritionist and art therapy!



Acknowledging where you have been the last five years could be very healing----



Jeannie

Member_of_the_Club

Cancer centers generally have oncology social workers who help cancer patients at no charge (or minimal cahrge). I would start there. Also, you could ask your GP for recommendations. I went to a psychiatrist I found through a friend and it turned out she had plenty of experience with patients who had medical issues.

Fitztwins

Even though you /we are not metsters, I would call the local Hospice, because they have good counselors. The counselor I take my son to worked Hospice, she is wonderful.

Also oncologist office's social workers can refer you to one.

Janis

don't forget the drugs! legal ones ofcourse.

jrp1

Hello:

I found that when I was first diagnosed and going through treatment, I was trying a bit [ok, a lot] too hard to be strong, but now I find that a year our, I'm calling the the regional cancer institute to connect with a support group.  I think that when I was "doing" the treatment and initial recovery, I felt like I had some control.  Now, that it is moving foward with AI, and the various side effects, in general, I would appreciate hearing from other women who are dealing with things.  Perhaps for me, it is the holiday, and I was just finishing initial treatment at the end of last December, and I am dealing with the emotional issues related to the first anniversaries of different events associated with diagnoses, and those early raw feelings.

My best to you.  Colleagues and friends who are 5-9 years out, tell me that ocassionally, everything is just "right there" for them as well.  It's OK to just put things on the table with other people who have gone through the same thing.

Jrp

JunO

Man, I've been feeling this too for about the last month, so I'm glad to see it's Not Just Me!



I've been obsessing with this feeling in my ribcage lately. It doesn't hurt, sometimes there's just tender spots and sometimes I'm just ... aware of my ribs, if that makes any sense. And I keep feeling myself, wondering if I'll find something, but I never do.



I think part of it is that this is my first time going six months between checkups (next one is at the end of the month), so it's been awhile since I've had that hard evidence that everything is OK (and all my checkups-- with mammo, blood tests, x-rays even a bone scan once -- have all been fine). Also, in my support group, we've lost several members this year, and several more have dealt with it again (but are doing well). Plus, my dad is dealing with a reoccurance of his prostate cancer and will undergo radiation soon. And on top of all that, I'm having some job and money stress. Add in the holidays, and I think my brain is just latching onto more things to worry about.



I keep trying to relax and tell myself things are fine, but the worries just seemed heightened right now.

Sierra

Hi there:



It can just come on at times



I am coming up to eight years

and sure, there are some days

that for whatever reason

bring on those clouds



Meds, counselling, and venting

sharing with sisters is great help



I always reach out and have never

been disappointed, so hope you have

a support system at your hospital



If you have arty, as I do in both

shoulders and hip, then it is difficult

at times, as you might feel a recurrance

has come on



Sending lots of healing



Try to enjoy the Holiday Season

forthcoming. WALKING really lifts
you up, especially around trees and nature
and I also have on classical music more
now





Hugs