Political question?

NoH8

Political question?

NoH8

Did anyone see the republican u-tube debates when the guy asked the question about black on black crime and either Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee talked about strengthening the family/traditional family values (yuck). I felt like the question went right over their heads. To me the questioner was asking what can we do NOW, not what would the ideal be someday in the future. I also think it's really easy to blame the parents/family and not look at or recognize the societal issues. I know that this is only a segment of blacks, I just think it's a part of the population that needs the help of people/society who understand the different levels of the causes and solutions to violence.

shokk

Amy what do you think families are???????  People make up society.......Families are pretty much the largest part of any society.........if you are interested check out the website www.whatblackmenthink.comthis guy made his documentary on his pc for 7 thousand dollars and he has an endorsement from Michael Moore........shokk

NoH8

I have a broader definition of families than the presidential candidates seem to.

badboob67

I am loathe to enter this discussion, but have been unable to overcome my compulsion to do so.

Amy,

First of all, I want you to know that I in no way have any problem with your sexual orientation or with whom you choose to share intimate moments. I have a lesbian niece and cousin and several lesbian friends; I am accepting of their homosexuality and also fearful of the kinds of abuse and treatment they can receive because of their orientation.

That being said, it feels to me (and this is merely an observation) that perhaps you are trying to seek validation for your feelings about the comments made during the debate by baiting other minority groups who may find offense at statements that could be construed as insulting or prejudicial. It just feels to me that you are doing a little bit of "pot stirring" in order to validate yourself.

Please know that you have every right to your feelings and you need no validation from others to be justified. I have avoided listening to debates and campaigning thus far because I have learned that there is really no one out there that I agree with even most of the time.

People say stupid and insensitive things all the time. (like, I may be doing that right now). If you are offended and hurt, believe in your heart that you are entitled to those feelings and need no encouragement from others to justify it.

Apologies in advance. I truly respect your opinion and really just wanted to let you know what I observed.

Diane 

NoH8

Nope, I don't need validation for my opinion. I'm strong in my opinions. I was wondering what african americans thought about this, since I am not one  I am probably coming from this from a different perspective and I seek to increase my knowledge and understanding of cultures that are different than my own. I do not believe that having open discussions about things is pot stirring, it's ignorance and lack of empathy for other groups that is the real problem in society.

badboob67

I am glad that is not the case, then! Mea Culpa. I agree that ignorance and lack of empathy are horrible problems.

Thank you for accepting my thoughts without taking offense.

Diane 

NoH8

It's ok-- you don't know me. I do this all the time, especially with muslim and muslim looking people because they are a culture I know little about (although I know more than I used to). I used to think burkas were horrible and anti female (in countries where only women had to wear them) until a modern muslim woman explained why she wears one when she goes back to visit her homeland and why she doesn't here.

badboob67

It is a fine line we walk when trying to ask a question of someone with a different cultural background or life experience; so many people have experience horrible prejudices and abuses that they become sensitive to what can feel like an attack. I am always thankful when I can have a respectful exchange with someone I may offend in ignorance or poorly constructed phrases.

Lol--if nothing else, I've bumped up your question! I hope you are able to get the answers and comments you were hoping for instead of my commentary!

Diane 

NoH8

It is a fine line. One of the best discussions I had with a stranger was in Barnes and Noble shortly after Barack Obama announced his run for president. I've been following Barack since 92 and am so excited about his candidacy and hopefully presidency. I was looking at his book on the shelf and so was an older african american woman. I told her I was going to vote for him and she said very sadly, "They're going to kill him like the killed King." I almost burst into tears at the sadness of her statement and belief.  I told her I'd like to know more about that time, if she was interested in telling me and we had a cup of coffee (well I had soda) and talked.

shokk

Amy not sure what your definition of society is but I personally don't think that the Republicans were very for off in there response to the question that was asked..........and for that matter it does not just apply to the African American segment of our "society" but to all races in our society...........Mr. Morton puts some pretty hard evidence into play concerning the downfall of his race or what is perceived as a downfall..........examples are "What is the #l killer of African Americans based on 2005 statistics?  That would be aboration........in 2005 there were 363,024 aborted African American babies........nearly a 1,000 a day........second at a distant 77,732 killer was heart disease........at the time of the passage of the Civil Rights Act 82% of all black households included a mother and father and 40% of those homes were business owners.......not so today....one of the biggest reasons for the crime we are experiencing in America today can have a direct link to the downfall of the American family including my own..........I do not think that this is an African American issue but just an American issue........did I want my marriage to fail.......absolutely not........is the chance that my 14 year old daughter will have sex earlier, have children without being married.....is she at greater risk.......I believe she is and statistics tell me she is...........when her older sister was 14 I was a stay at home mom..........when my older child got home from school I was there........now I work full time and my younger daughter comes home to an empty house........there is a two hour window that I must assume she is behaving herself but how do I really know and besides that she doesn't like being home by herself........when she does get a boyfriend why wouldn't she have him over there??????? Not only am I praying that I get to live long enough to see her into adulthood but the guilt I feel for not being there for her now when I believe she really needs my guidance the most is eating me up inside............Shokk

NoH8

I'd have to disagree with Morton because to me abortions are not the same as a "killer". To me a fetus is an extention of the mother until born and her decision whether or not to carry that fetus to term. I recgonize that there are people believe differently.

I agree and disagree with you about the downfall of the american family. The divorce rate is way too high, people should think before deciding to get married- even if one of the partners gets pregnant. I also think that many couples don't try enough to  work on their relationships in terms of professional counseling, but do believe if any abuse is involved that sometimes trying isn't a good idea.

I think kids should have positive role models of both genders, whether a single parent, heterosexual or homosexual parent(s). some of the healthiest families I know are gay families, I think in part because they often have to go through hoops to adopt or do IVF to get those kids.

I think it's awful that minimum wage day care workers are raising children- but I don't have a solution for that.  I think it's great if a parent can stay home with kids and be there after school, but it's not always practical. One of my cousins, a dr. works outside the home and her husband stays home with the kids-- so it's not about women being home. A grandparent, aunt or other relative is also an ok solution if they're capable and competent.

One of the biggest reasons I think is that children are socialized differently than they were a generation ago from a very young age. In the age of electronics, tv, computers and video games, often played before the child's brain has a chance to develop in certain areas. Back when I was a kid in the 60s and 70s we played outside with our neighbors, climbed trees, played hide and seek and kick ball and he learned how to solve our conflicts through communication. In the age of computers, text messages and IMs, kids don't always develop those social skills and allow them to mature.

In cities or areas of cities where there is high unemployment and low income, the external stresses of health, safety, home are often present that people who have moderate or higher steady incomes don't have to deal with. Crime is often higher in such localities.

I believe that a multi faceted approach is needed, supporting families and neighborhoods as well as stricter gun laws. I think that people in the community could and should serve as mentors to classrooms, individual or small groups of kids, particularly if there is something their families need that extra support.

shokk

Amy I personally could care less if it is the mother, father, sister or brother, grandmother, aunt, uncle that is home when a young adult arrives home from school or whether it is a same gender union as long as there is a person at home that loves that child and has a vested interest in their well being.....paid help usually does not and I know there is no guarantee that even a mom or dad will provide the care that a young person needs but statistically a parent is more likely to provide that child the guidance and love that is needed......I mean for haven sake look at nature......of course times have changed for this present generation but every single generation changes.......my grandmother only got to finish 6th grade because girls were expected to work in the fields to help with their families income because of the depression........her children (my mom) went to college and had telephones.........(no television)......I remember when my parents bought their first television.....my grandmother said it would be the downfall of our family........believe it or not we survived.......now we have the Internet (thank god) and my kids don't even sit in front of the tv like I did growing up......they sit in front of the monitor.........its more interactive then tv (imo)......they do their school work, talk to their friends and shop..........is it dangerous........it sure can be.......do I have it set up with firewalls, emails to me if any sex sites are hit.......sure I do.........should I deprive my youngest from the computer.......for her own good and her future she needs to be computer literate.......what will happen to my grandkids.......who knows........when I grew up spent almost all my free time outside but I knew I could go home and my mom would be there.........a neighbor kid who's mom worked had pot parties at his house after school.........all I quess I am trying to say is young people have to be superivsed.............that what families are suppose to do........take care of one another.........shokk 

NoH8

I agree that young people have to be supervised andit's best done by someone who really loves them and ideally is part of a healthy family.

Anonymous

Hey Amy,

I think they all missed the boat. Crime is usually either Black on Black,White on White,Asian on Asian, Latino on Latino ,you get my drift. People commit crimes on those closest to them and America is still segregated so of course Black people commit crimes against other Black people. People (the media) never talks about the rise on white on white crime and the huge rise in Latino on Latino crime in America. That is the biggest growth in crime. What is the problem? I think it is proverty , ignorance , social dysfunction(Americans are violent regardless of race) ,and family dysfunction(no matter how the family unit is set up) . We need to stop putting big business and the Republican agenda first and truly start to put FAMILY first. Health care, Child care,Education,Housing,Employment,just to name a  few things that must be corrected before we can get the violence under control. Children who come home to an empty house are more likely to do "dumb"things. We have become a nation of single homes and not neighborhoods. People do not even know the name of the people they live next door to . In my day I had eyes all over me, My mom(from the house she is handicapped),my pastor, my neighbors,my aunties,my uncles ,if I got in trouble I had multiple b***whippings when I got caught. I avoided trouble like the plague. Now...children know that no one sees, cares or concerns themselves with them except possible their parents if they are not too consumed with their careers. We have a forgotten generation who are violent , disrespectful,brilliant,resourceful,cunning, you name it,take the good with the bad. The blame lies with US, the parents, guardians,caretakers of the children who have been lost by the way. We have to take our places back at the head of the household and start getting to know our children and who lives next door and I think our children will change. I do not think it is a Black/White/Asian/Latino thing it is a NOW thing. I do not think it matters if you have 1 mommy, 2 daddies or a mom and dad as long as there is someone there to love you and supervise you and someone has your parents back. Government has it's role too, what ever happened to a hard days work for a decent days pay? We need better wages, health care, affordable housing, affordable daycare(FOR ALL !).I hope I did not go on too much but I see children now and they are so misguided. I understand parents have to feed them and put a roof over  their heads.You should not have to choose,raise my child or care for my child. I am blessed to have a village to help me with my children. My family, church and neighbors are close and old school. If I did not have the support I do I do not know what would become of my children (There but for the Grace of God). We all have to take responsibility for our children's violent behavior(They are all our children). We must stop seeing color and start seeing our countries future and start making some real changes to get our young ones back on track. That is my opinion . Benita   

NoH8

Benita, the question was asked by a young black man with his father standing by his side.  I agree that they missed the boat and I do think that we all have to take responsibility for youth. individuals and our elected officials.

Paulette531

Amy...I am really curious, what are Muslim looking people? It's a comment you made a few posts up, isn't that the same thing as saying he/she looks gay or I have black friends or I have relatives who are gay or all those other politically incorrect things?