Starting chemo Dec 2007

wishiwere

Yeah, maybe burning them in a cauldron this summer.  Or next Dec 5th, in celebration!  The first day of my last period!  

suz45

Hello Ladies,

Hope those of you south of the border have a great long weekend, for anyone driving be safe. We had our provincial long weekend last week so dh, the dog and I did a two day motorcycle road trip over to Vancouver Island. It was nice and the hottest weekend so far this spring (aprox 90f), we spent some time with his sister and then his mom. Heh heh, sure felt those butt muscles complaining after that one.

Rads seem to be going alright, I'm at #12 of 20. So far not too many problems. Am starting to get a sore throat & ear, some shooting pains through the breast and armpit and am turning pink, its sore but still tolerable with lots of aloe & cream. I noticed the fatigue almost right away but an afternoon nap is the perfect cure for that one when I have time. TGIF so I get a two day break.

Hair..... I'm still not quite there yet. The sparse ares are definitely filling in with a salt & pepper look, but not long enough yet to go topless all the time. Happily my eyebrows and eyelashes are growing in and hair is retuning to all other areas as well.

I have an appointment on Monday with a gyn surgeon. An oopherectomy (sp) will be my next line of attack. Whoo hoo fun .

I swear it would take a whole crew a week to tackle the weeds that have taken over all the gardens & pond since last summer. Unfortunately I dont have a crew so this ones gonna be all about me . Well eventually it will be when I get around to it.

Anyway again hope everyone has a nice weekend. Much love and hugs, Suz

suz45

Still Hope your all having fun this weekend!

Well I did it, I went topless to my first summer BBQ (besides family) DH wanted to ride the bike over... my hair is still way too short, but I was stressin about wigs/hat and the motorcycle helmet (helmet destroys the wig and a hat looks dumb under it) when he said Sue its not like your completely bald. Leave the wig behind and just bring a hat in case you feel you want to cover it up. Its honestly the first time he has said a word about going out with my brush-cut.

I felt a little on the butchy biker bitch side  (which I am so not) but it was such a relief to just not bother with the wig. Three of our best guy friends were there and they were so happy to see that my hair was coming back in. Hair seems to equal healthy recovery, heck I'll take that. LOL, but it really felt like I was one step closer to just being myself again. Love you ladies and thanks for letting me ramble. Big hugs to all, Love Suz

p.s. we fell to page #2 in one day

bibliowarrior

Hi ladies. A big warm hug to everyone. 

Suz, congrats on going wigless/hatless. I laughed at your description of yourself... ha ha ha. And I always love your little emoticons :-)

I can't wait until I feel comfortable enough to do go wigless at work. My grey hair is peeking out of the sides of my brown wig. And I'm getting tired of the hair comments from people who don't know about the cancer... I used to have long hair, and last week a lady came in who I hadn't seen for many months... she looked at my "hair" and said "That's a nice haircut on you. So, how do you like your hair short?" I had to stop myself from saying "Lady, you have no idea how short it is," but instead I just smiled and said it was ok.

How soon do you think you will have your next surgery, Suz? Good luck with those plans.

I finally changed Plastic Surgeons. I should have done this from the start, but at least it is done. The only drawback is that it pushes off my last procedure... probably won't get the implants until August now. I don't mind, except I think the expanders are loosing saline solution or something because they are "rippling" more every week. Oh well, whatcha gonna do. 

My husband and I were able to get away for an overnight trip this weekend. A friend of his has a camp on a quiet lake and we were able use it Sunday/Monday. The weather was perfect. I read a book, took a walk, watched some DVDs, watched some hummingbirds from the porch, and even went kayaking. Usually my husband and I fight whenever we travel together... it's always something. But we didn't have even one little argument the whole time. I think we were both so appreciative of the fact that I'm getting better. I have to say it was the best "vacation" my husband and I ever had.

  

Hope all are well.

-Sal 

beasgirl

OH, Sal, it's nice to hear you feeling so ...fine! How did your back handle the kayak?  The weather was gorgeous last weekend--glad you got to be in it.

Suz. Way to go on the hair! It's HARD at first--I feel much more like I really HAVE to wear make-up, earrings, etc. than I ever did before. But that's probably a good thing...Just when I thought I was through with the local awkward conversations about it, we went away on a big family gathering and I had to do it with that whole group. Ugh.

I got on here to say that I seem to be experiencing some extreme hormonal fluctuations (ie, I am a rip-roaring b*tch/weepy mess) lately. I'm guessing this is me kicking back into menstrual gear (and maybe a little me going off antidepressants...?)...but I was wondering if anybody else was having this experience...? Ugh. I'm glad enough to get back to normal, and even glad to be FEELING more... but I am kind of impossible.

It's gorgeous and green here--hopefulyy I can get ou to the garden tomorrow, and plant a bunch of stuff I got in the woods in VT this weekend.

Love to all--

A 

clsd

Sal ! What a studette in that kayak! You look soooo happy. Big smiles for you here in NJ. The camp/lake looks so beautiful and very relaxing. Good for you two.

A-I hear you with the mood swings, but I gave up trying to figure it all out. I think my body is in such a transition, between healing from surgery,chemo,rads,now tamoxifen,chemopause, reality,etc....I try to just go with the flow....our little bodies have been through so much, and I believe we are still on the emotional rollercoaster ride ( though I asked to get off the flippin ride a long time ago!) Good weather and good times are here....one day at a time. Sending hugs!

Kids' school and sports are winding down, and I am soooo looking forward to the summer. xoxoxoxo to all !! cindy

wishiwere

Wow!  Sal, that looks like work!  At least canoeing, you'd have someone else to let do the work!   Then again, I'd not have the energy for that or the shoulder this year!  Was just thinking I'd love to be on the river canoeing this summer too, so that's nice to see someone is doing it!   Glad you two had a good time! You both deserve it!

Cindy, glad your summer is coming soon, enjoy the time off if you have it!

A?  WHat STUFF did you get in the woods?  Love to hear about it?  I've had gorgeous trilliums these past years continue to do well from excursions!

All others, hope everyone is still doing well with the aches and pains and groans and moans.  Switching Ai to aromasin soon   We shall see if that changes the SE's or what, but not holding my breath!  I think dh is though! Funny how a man's idea of significant SE's are different from ours hey? Even the onco is more worried about the sexual stuff than the hip/joint pains!  Hmmmmmmmm...since I use my hips/joints more than just for sex, I'd say THEY are more important, but who I am?  Just a freaking woman, right?

joyh

Hi all, 

I haven't posted in a long while.  Things have not gone very well for me.    My tumor did not respond well to chem, and I had my mast.  on May 15.  Am feeling  pretty well after surgery. 

My path. report came back, grade 3, 5.3 cm. and 19 out of 22 nodes positive.  So I begin new chemo next Tues.  My onc. said 80 to 90% chance of recurrence, and even with new chemo, still 50%.I'm thinking of getting a second opinion.  Everything is moving so quickly, muga today, pet scan on Mon. chem on Tues., shot on Wed. that I will get this much behind me and then use the three week interval to decide what to do about second opinion.  

I have been lurking and am so glad all of you are doing so well, sincerely happy for you.  Can't believe my hair, what there is of it, is getting ready to fall out again!  

Joy   

clsd

Hey Joy!

I am sending you prayers and big strong hugs! My heart skipped a beat while reading your post. I am just plain pissed that the fricken bc did not respond to the chemo. You have been through so much, but I know you will continue to fight and win! You are one strong lady! Peace to you, and I will continue to pray. xoxoxoxo  cindy

wishiwere

Oh {{{{{JOY}}}}}  I'm so sorry things have turned out poorly for you!  Dang it!  This is just so not what anyone one of us want for anyone, especially our own!  I wish there were something to say or do to help and let you know how sad I am for you but how hopefully this next round of chemo will be the one for you!  I'll be keeping you in positive thoughts and prayers (if you don't mind) and hoping that things go smoothly for you throughout this next stage.  Darn I wish there were more to offer you in this whole mess!  It's just so hard to sit here and know you are hurting and feeling poorly! Please just know you in our thoughts.... Many gentle {{{hugs}}}

suz45

Joy, {{{{{big gentle hugs}}}}} I don't know what to say... I'm so sorry to hear that the cancer didn't respond well to that chemo. You have been in my thoughts a lot lately, I was concerned that you hadn't posted in so long. I cant imagine how you must feel, but I wish you strength and so much love as you battle the beast again. My heart is in my throat right now and I wish there was something I could do or say to help you through this next round. Please don't be a stranger and let us know how how your feeling. Keep us posted with the second opinion. Much love and hugs to you. Suz

                                

bibliowarrior

Joy, I'm so sad and scared to hear your news, but am with the other ladies in wishing that this next round of chemo will take care of it for you. I you feel that you need a 2nd opinion, then go for it... trust your gut. I'll be praying for you and your family. We all care about you, so let us know how it goes.

Many hugs, Sal 

joyh

Thanks, Cindy, Wishiwere, Suz and Sal,

I have had a gut feeling for weeks now that everything was not well.  Main  reason I have been so quiet. So I really am not surprised.  Although when the onc. said 80 to 90 %, I was shocked.  

I feel quite well, considering only two weeks from mast.  Other than chemo se I have felt good throughout this ordeal.  I am trying to enjoy each moment even more than before.  I was really scared at first but am settling down more now.  I so hope for good news from the pet scan on Mon.  Back to waiting for test results.  That really sucks. 

Thank you all for your prayers.  I will post again when I have results of tests.  

Joy 

wishiwere

Joy?  I can understand how the mass didn't respond to the chemo, but how can they say a different chemo won't?  I know I missed it along the way, but how long had you had chemo and what type?  Did they not check to see if it was responding during the neo stuff?  Man, this sucks big time!  I'm am so praying that this new stuff with be the right one, and that the scans are clear and only the nodes were involved and that this new chemo is gentler with the SE's, but kicks @SS on the beast this time!  Hang in there, and lean on us girl, we're here for you!  Or pm and just rant all you want!  Gentle{{{hugs}}} for the waiting yet again

suz45

Sal, Sounds like you had a fabulous weekend! I love camping whether it be camper, cabin or boat. Ok.... I'll throw tenting in there as well, but it has to be a pretty spectacular place for me to want to sleep on the ground. How was the kayaking? You look like your really enjoying it. Its something Ive always want to get into, but never had time for. Now its on my new things to try list.

Good for you on changing surgeons! Although it may delay the procedure, at least you'll have a surgeon your comfortable with. Hope the leaking expanders wont cause you problems.

As for my surgery, I'm going to go ahead and have a bilateral salpinggo-oopherectomy (tubes & ovaries removed). The surgeon said I would need to wait about a month after rads were done and although its a day surgery procedure it would take about a month for recovery. That would have put me out of commission smack dab in the middle of summer. We talked it over and since its not an urgent issue she booked it for early September instead. I'm really comfortable with that.

Amy, Hormonal mood swings really suck! I'm sure cutting down/out on the anti-d meds would probably escalate the problem as well. So try to be good to you and give yourself some time to adjust. {{Big hugs}}

Only 2 more boosts and rads will be done. Thankfully the boosts are at the left side of left boob cause my nipple is now rebelling!  

Hope everyone has a nice evening, big hugs to all. Love Suz

clsd

Wow, Suz, so Weds. is your big day ! Super woohoo to you! I LOVED your "help" cartoon! Your decision to wait (?? you still are doing rads, so it is not much of a wait) until September makes perfect sense. Enjoy the summer to the fullest.

Joy, praying hard for you, and hope you are feeling well. Love to you!

Sweet dreams to all you wonderful ladies. xoxoxo cld

loriann

Evening all!  It's been a while since I checked in...life seems to be back to normal (almost) or maybe it's just been busy.  I am feeling really good though!  I finished rads on May 29th and am glad to be done.  My collarbone area was pretty raw but it is already totally cleared up!  My DD had her sweet 16 party Saturday and is finishing her segment 2 drivers training tomorrow so it looks like she will have her license by this weekend.  That seems so scary to me!!  She does a great job but between inexperience and other crazy drivers I just can't see turning her lose.  I think she will do alot more driving her dad and I around before she goes alone or with friends.

Well, Vegas is under 3 weeks away now and I've got some things it the suitcase already!  Gosh, no one knows how ready I am for the trip...well, I'm sure you guys totally understand!!  I'm also spoiling myself a bit...Getting my pink & whites back on on Thursday and going for a massage on Friday (only the 2nd one in my life!) 

Amy, I hear you about the makeup and earrings!  Anything to feel more girly and not the butch biker look Suz talked about.  I have some camo capris I love but won't wear them yet because without the long hair I feel I give off a different vibe in them!!  LOL

Sal, I'm so glad you got to enjoy your getaway with your DH!  It looked great.  We are ready to take our camper out too and I can't wait!

Joy, I am so sad to hear your news!  You will be in my prayers and I hope you get good news on your tests and that your new tx plan will do the trick!  Hang in there and keep us posted!

Hope everyone is enjoying the start of summer!  School is almost over here and getting ready to open my mom's pool!  Ahh, summer!  So glad I went thru all this over the winter months!  Take good care of yourselves everyone!  Lori

wishiwere

Lori, it's great to hear you are doing so well and packing to go west! Whoohooo!  Hoping everyone is feeling good these days. Seems we get longer and longer between posts, but I suppose that means we are moving on in many ways.  This is good!

suz45

What a relief, the daily drive and zapping is now done, 20 of 20 completed this morning. I was really starting to get itchy last night. Kept me awake till about 3 am, I finally broke down and used the cortosone cream along with a couple of oral benadryl pills. Doc says to continue with the cream unless the skin breaks down, then she gave me a script. for flamazine cream. Hopefully I wont need it.

So its time to have a little summer fun   if only our weather would just co-operate. Im not looking forward to the cleaning and organizing thats been neglected since last summer. Hopefully the nice weather will return soon, thats such a mood booster. Bye for now. Big hugs and a whole lotta love, Suz

wishiwere

YEAH for you, SUZ!  How wonderful you are over it!  I think the sun will be out shortly, just for you!  Give it a couple days till you skin improves, then look out world!   Hope you rest well tonight! 

joyh

Hi all,

Thanks to everyone for your comforting words, thoughts and prayers!  It so  helps to not be in this alone. 

 I had first treatment of new chemo yesterday.  Taxotere last time,This  time Ellence (of the A family )  but he  says fewer  se and cytoxin.  He said  this drug is used more in Europe. 

The onc was out of town yesterday but I asked his nurse if the pet scan results were back and they were.  Results were - two nodes in neck that showed up in Dec. scan were still there, but smaller and dimmer.  And that was all!  I had tried so hard to prepare for mets. I was absolutely convinced that would be the results.  So for now, good news.  

I see the onc in the morning and will find out more.  I just can't get it off my mind the 80 to 90% chance of recurrence, and 50% with new chemo.           

 I am trying to tell myself that for this day, things look good so enjoy.

 With 19 out of 21 nodes, I feel that I will get a recurrence someday but that could be years away.  I am going to try to not waste the good days between now and that  possible outcome.  

 It's funny, I am not even dreading chemo again. I am just grateful there is another treatment.  I am feeling well after mast, three weeks ago tomorrow.  Saw the surgeon yesterday and he thought  there  was a little swelling and redness so put me on antibiodics.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers.  I had some very scary days.   Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So glad to see all of you feeling well and going on with your life.  I think I will get there too, just going to take a little longer.

Thank you again,

Joy 

  

clsd

Joy, you are a true warrior! I love your spirit, and I too will take every good moment I can get. I will continue to root for you, and hope this chemo does not wear you down....xoxoxo

My dh had his colonoscopy today ( he had colon ca 2 year ago), and "the pipe looks good" , as my children like to say. Thank God. We needed some good news in our family, and my kids really needed some cancer free news.

Saw Sex and the City tonight. Lots of fun. Girlfriends took me out to blow off some steam. If you liked the HBO series, you'll love the movie.

Sweet dreams to all. xo cld

wishiwere

Glad to hear your dh got good news! YEAH!!!!

{{Joy}} I can feel the sadness in your voice and it tears at my heart. I wish so much there were something to do or say to make this all go away for you!  It's just s*cks   Sending you more gentle {{hugs}} and know we are at your shoulder at your appt tomorrow offering some support.....Rest well tonight.

bibliowarrior

Joy, I'm glad to hear the bit of good news that you got. I'm still praying for you buddy. You have such a great, realistic but positive attitude. Good for you to be so strong! You have my respect and admiration

Suz, congratulations on finishing your rad tx's. Another milestone passed. Wonderful. 

I have some good news as well... I saw an osteopathic doctor this week for my back/butt pain and he knew exactly what was wrong. Weird how they can feel your muscles and tell what's up. Said it was sacroilliac joint pain. Did a couple crunches on me and gave me some new stretches for those muscles. 3 days later, I'm already noticing an improvement! I'm scheduled for 2 more sessions and then he said I should be ok. Awesome.

Wishing continued improvement to all you ladies, too. Big hugs to you all,

 -Sal 

wishiwere

Sal!  That's great you finally found comfort and someone who knew what was going on!  It's amazing isn't it!  Wonderful news!

Joy, thinking about you today.....

suz45

Joy, Congradulations! I read your post on another thread and am so happy for the good news {{{{hugs}}}} one day at a time.

  

Sal, Its about time time girl!!! Finally..... a Dr. who's making progress with relieving your pain. You must feel great just knowing that something is finally working.

Lori, Good to here your recovering well from rads, whoohoo its just about down to two weeks now??

WIW, Nice to see you so active and helping others on the boards.

Cindy, I just had DH go through with a colonoscopy as well a week ago. His dad passed away from colon cancer 4 years ago, so I worry... if I left it up to him he would just ignore getting tested. Pipes all clear at his end too. Big sigh of relief as we need some cancer free news around here too.

So three days out of rads and I seem to be holding up OK. My chest is sooooooooo itchy but the redness seems to have settled down to mostly under the boob, the nipple and booster site under my arm. So far no blisters or broken skin just a rash, using cortosone cream and lots of aloe still. Our weather feels more like Nov lately so am staying in and resting.

Thinking of you gals, Amy, Laura, KMK, Kate, Jeannie and anyone my stubborn chemo brain is forgetting. I hope everyone is well. Much love and hugs to all you gals. Suz

Laurita60091

Hello ladies,

My, the last couple of weeks have just flown by!

First - Joy, I am truly sorry that you have received the bad stats; however relieved that nothing else was found in the PET results.  I had often wondered about you, since you'd been so quiet.  I have to agree that you are a true warrior and you understand the essence of what is important.  We can't really worry about the statistics, because really, what good could that possibly do?  I think you are absolutely right that you need to make the most of the NOW, and enjoy every moment of it.  I hope that the SE from this round of chemo will be manageable so that you will be able to feel reasonably good in between.  A big warm hug to you - we are here along with you in this fight, and wishing, hoping and praying for the absolute best possible results.

Sal, I'm so happy you were able to have a little getaway with your hubby.  The pictures look lovely and peaceful and relaxing - good for you!  The news about your back pain is excellent - I am so glad it was nothing more serious.

Amy, hugs to you with your emotional ups and downs.  I remember back in the day when I had hormones, going through those "sad" times.  I hope things will smooth out for you.  Definitely, planting should help you to feel better.

Suz, congrats on having finished rads!  Keep on using those creams, and also airing it out as much as possible - I found my skin reacted more after my boosts than during.  In fact the worst reaction came a week after, in my armpit (boosts) and the fold under the breast.  I also felt more fatigued the week after than at any other time.  But still I was very fortunate and it was not very bad at all.  Things are recovering very well for me now, three weeks after rads.  The energy is coming back, which is really wonderful.  I am glad that you will wait until September for your surgery, so you can enjoy your summer (when it gets here!!!).  We are also having some "November in Vancouver" weather.

I am doing well with recovery, went and got tests on my hands to see what kind of arthritis.  It has been very bad this week with the weather we've had, but I'm glad it is my hands and not back/hips as at least I can keep active.  Hubby still trying to get things wrapped up in Cuba so I am trying to be patient - not my strong suit.  Keeping extremely busy helps with that, though.  Work is back to normal and very busy also.  I am looking forward to some vacation this summer.

Greetings to Kimbly, Loriann, Cindy, Kate, Jeannie, and everyone else who is enjoying the "new normal". 

A big hug to all

Laura

kimbly

I am so behind here, it took me 10 minutes to catch up!!! LOL

Joy I am so sorry that you once again have to endure chemo but on the flip side like you said thank goodness there is another chemo regimen that they can use.  Cancer sucks so much, it really does.  So focus on the positive and think hard that you are kicking this cancer's butt!  

Sal looks like you had tons of fun with your hubby.  Looks so peaceful and cool (as I sit in my air conditioned house while it is 90 degrees outside).  The back pain news is excellent, what a relief that is to find out what was wrong!  

I also went off my antidepressants and luckily for me I feel more up than down.  I was on Effexor XR and just ran out and then thought what the hec I don't need them and so far so good.  

 I am healing well although as my PS said my scar is now kind of separating and rescabbing( I had Spair) so it looks really gross right now.  This scar is what they make the nipple from with this procedure.  I just worry that this new wound is not how it is supposed to be .. ugh I am a worry wart.  LOL 

I have been feeling more and more like my old self every day.  Actually I am better!  I have more energy and just a better understanding of how precious life is and well that helps.  

I am laughing about the no hair on the motorcycle, that was Suz right?  My husband also has a motorcycle and we have been invited by another couple ( who also have a motorcycle ) for a couples ride and then maybe some drinks.  All I could think about is well I cannot wear my wig with that helmet so it will have to be in the side bag or something for when we get off.  LOL  I do have quite a big of hair coming in, thankfully the scary baldest spots are now all filled with darkish peach fuzz.  I used a temporary hair color just last week to help give me a younger look and it worked!  So much of my hair was coming white and or colourless almost. Really wierd.  I think I will stock up on this temporary color and do it once a month.  I now at least take my walks with no wig and just a hat.  

Weather here in Southern Michigan has been so hot this past week.  We are in for a break tomorrow though yay.  My daughter goes to cedar point and 80F is better than 90 for that for sure.

My best to all and I will try to remember to read this thread more often.   

kimbly

I got a letter today saying it's time for my 6-month screening.  I cannot believe it has already been 6 months.   I will get my onc. to write me the order next week when I see her.

wishiwere

Any updates Ladies?

Joy, how are you faring?

Kimbly?  Woah!  I had one of those in April followed up with an US.  For a suspicious lump no less.  Nothing worse than worrying about that again! Good luck with yours and B9 is what we want to hear too!