feeling weird in the oncology dept

florencedonna

feeling weird in the oncology dept

florencedonna

I had my port flushed today at the oncology department.  I felt weird, like I didn't belong there.  They have hired new staff who don't know me; I didn't recognize the other patients waiting, the other patients looked so ill and I feel so well.  I once felt so at home there, now I feel like I don't belong.  I guess it's moving on.  It was bittersweet; I'm happy to be so well but I liked being a part of that community.

donna

Anonymous

Donna...I know exactly what you mean because I felt the same way the first time that I went back after treatment ended! I even felt a kind of anger or irritation that I didn't feel a part of it all anymore (how crazy is that?!). So I arranged to have my new nurses, the ones in the oncology clinic, flush my port from then on and found that it helped me to develop a better relationship with them.

~Marin

ravdeb

I can relate and was actually embarrassed about this feeling. I was thinking to myself...would I rather need treatment so I can feel "at home" there? It's funny because when I went once to say hi to my chemo nurse, she was busy, she was happy to see me but she was busy with others!

It's a good and bad feeling. I feel like I've graduated and those other patients are still having their lessons and exams....

NoH8

The same thing happened to me after treatment and it was probably the first sign that I was in a different phase of survivorship. As you said, bittersweet is a good word for those first feelings. Everytime I go back now I feel gratefulness to be where I am.

abbadoodles

Actually, I always had a bad attitude and hated being there.  But, of course, I am a contratian to the bone.

Tina

gsg

i can relate to this.  the last time i went, though, a nurse from my breast center was there accompanying a lady to her first chemo who was afraid.  i was able to talk to her and encourage her, so it made me feel still in the loop in a weird way.