Stop smoking? First believe in yourself...

goldilocks

Smoking was a daily part of my life for over 28 years.  I started when I joined the military. Everyone seems to smoke there.

I did quit once for "5" years, but not for the right reasons.  I quit because of pressure from other people.  I won't lie, I would sneak and smoke occationally when no one was around.  So I guess I didn't quit, just lied to others that I had.  You believe that no one can see you, smell the smoke or ever find out.  Well, that was my mentality. Thing is, I knew that I was cheating. 

I then just started smoking again.  I enjoy smoking.  I am one of those people that say, they don't know what causes cancer, but they always have studies telling us what can kill us. My theory is I could get hit by a car crossing the street and be killed...so tell me what's the research on that? 

However, I have quit cold turkey just over 7 weeks ago, and have NOT cheated. This is my second time with breast cancer and I was told by my PS that if I continue to smoke the reconstruction that I will have may not work, unless I do quit.  Skin cells will die and then I could lose the reconstruction of my new breasts.  So, that did it for me.  I smoked until 2 days before my double mastectomy.  Hubby still smokes, but is making an effort to quit. He says our health is worth it.

It's about choices. 

Choices that only we can make on our own.  Not by what the dr's say, family says, TV says, it's not about that.  It's about what we want and how we decide to deal with the decisions we make. 

For 2 years we have been trying to make changes about smoking. So we changed the rules in our home about how we would smoke. Because I enjoy smoking it has been quite the challenge.

The difference that has helped through this is that one of our first rules was to stop smoking in the house. Smoke only outside, in the back yard. Cut down to only one ash tray. As time went on we then decided that in order to cut down more we would only smoke outside at home.  We would not carry cigarrettes with us, and definitely began chewing lots of gum.  Sugarfree, and it really did help. Right, no smoking during the work day, only after we got home from work. People thought we quit, we just said no...end of conversation. I admit, we have friends that smoke, but we actually have held strong to following our rule of only smoking at home/outside...cold and hot weather.

Now that I have not smoked for only a short time, I don't go out into the backyard due to that being our designated smoking area. I have been home since the surgery and have only been out of the house for dr appts. and a couple of dinners with friends.  I now go out front for fresh air and am holding strong.  I can't say this will continue to work, but I do know that I want to keep my new breasts and that has become my reality for my incentive.  I hope this story helps all of you that are working on choices.  Because that is what this is really about.  What we want for ourselves, not what others want for us.  Hope to continue not smoking, and look forward to having wonderful looking breasts for years to come.